29. Twenty-nine
Twenty-nine
October 2022
Phoenix Campbell
T he faint sound of voices slowly stirs me awake. I try to swallow, but my throat feels like it’s been scraped raw with razor blades. My eyelids are heavy, and I squint at the light in the room. It’s not even that bright, but it feels intrusive and makes my eyes sting. When I try to speak, only a rasping noise comes out, and even that makes me wince in pain.
“Fee? Oh my god. Thank fuck, you’re awake. He’s gonna be okay now, isn’t he?” Cee seems to be half speaking to me and half talking to someone else I haven’t spotted yet.
“Yeah, he should be out of the woods.” A deep male voice replies. It’s vaguely familiar, but I can’t place who it belongs to at present.
“Here, have a sip of water,” Cee passes me a cup with a straw and pushes it to my lips. I take a few gentle sips, and the cool water feels blissful going down my inflamed throat. I’m so parched I feel as though I could down several pints of water, but Cee pulls the straw away before I can guzzle it and tells me to see how it settles first.
As my eyes adjust to the unfamiliar room, I take in Cee as he perches on the edge of the bed. He looks as bad as I feel. His bloodshot eyes have dark shadows underneath them; he looks exhausted, like he hasn’t slept for days.
It’s funny how when you see someone frequently, you don’t really notice them getting older, but now I’m really looking, I can see how much the boy I met almost five and a half years ago has gone, and how much I love the man he has become.
“What’s happened? Where are we?” I croak out, my voice still raspy despite the glass of water.
“There was a fire… You were unconscious upstairs, and I managed to get you out, but we don’t know how long you were trapped inside before I got there. You were badly burned, and your lungs were in bad shape from all the smoke inhalation.”
What. The. Fuck. A fire? How would our house end up on fire? Why didn’t I get myself out? This doesn’t make any sense.
“I’m so sorry, Fee. It’s all my fault.” I scrunch my face up in confusion.
“What do you mean? How is it your fault? Did you set our house on fire?” I ask, knowing full well he absolutely would not have, and there will be some absurd reason he’s decided to shoulder the blame for some sort of freak accident.
“No, of course I didn’t set our house on fire,” he huffs.
“Then it really doesn’t sound like it was your fault. What do we know?” I ask him.
He looks over his shoulder to the doorway, and when I turn my head, I spot Noah standing there. It was his voice I must have heard when I woke up; that makes sense now. He steps into the room so I don’t have to strain my neck to look at him.
“Once the firefighters got the fire under control, Oliver and I took a look inside to try and find the cause because nobody could find where the fire originated. Neither could we, but when we went up into your bedroom, I found a hex bag under your bed. I’ve sent it off to Orla to take a proper look, but our best guess so far is that’s what prevented you from waking up and escaping.” Noah’s tone is sombre as he explains, who could possibly want me to die in a fire? Cee leans forward and cups my cheek with his palm, kissing my forehead gently.
“The important thing is you’re gonna be fine. Oliver and Noah will figure out the rest, and then we’ll deal with it. You should try and rest some more, okay?” I nod, somewhat bewildered by all this information, but my brain is foggy. Every time I try to reach for a thought or a detail, it’s like wading through thick mud.
“Thanks, Noah,” I croak out before a horrible cough burns through my chest painfully. Noah dips his chin and leaves the room; his faint footsteps fade as he walks down some stairs.
“You look like you need some rest, too. How long have I been out?” I rasp.
“Three days. Longest three days of my life, honestly,” he replies. I doubt he slept a wink during that time; he must be shattered. When I shift over slightly and peel back the cover I’m under, he joins me on the bed. We lay side by side, and he brings my face to his chest, enveloping me in his arms.
“I need you to know that I will never leave you, and I’m so sorry I let you worry about that for even a moment. When I think about those moments when we weren’t sure if you’d make it, I kept thinking I needed you to know I didn’t mean the stupid words I said. And I love you, and I’ll never stop loving you. And also, I have to die before you do because I’m never doing this again, okay?” His breath hitches, and he swallows loudly, choking down his emotions. My memories of the argument that night are blurry at the moment, but I know in my gut he was never really going anywhere.
“Okay, babe, you can go first,” I tell him, making a promise I can’t possibly keep, nor do I really want to. Ideally, the two of us will go The Notebook style, curled up in bed, and peacefully die in each other’s arms. It’s unlikely, but I think we’re owed some luck at this point.
When I press my lips to kiss the hollow of his throat, he lets out a deep breath, and some of the tension leaves his body. Throwing a leg over his hip, I pull him in close and let the steady beat of his heart lull me back to sleep.
When I next wake up, I’m sprawled on top of Cee like a koala, and he’s awake, mindlessly running his fingers through my hair. I’ve no idea how long I slept, but I feel so much better. When I swallow, I’m still thirsty, but it doesn’t hurt my throat anymore, and when I take a deep inhale, my chest no longer rattles.
Something snags in my mind when I scent the air. I’m mostly just appalled that Cee let me sleep on top of him when I’m pretty ripe right now, but there’s something else. What the hell is that? Shuffling up on Cee's chest, I scent his neck, sensing a foreign new smell on him.
Why does he smell like that?
“Stop sniffing me,” he says grumpily.
“Why do you smell different?” I ask, feeling suspicious, but I’m not entirely sure of what. He doesn’t smell of another wolf. He still smells like Connor even; it’s just there’s a new scent layer, and I can’t pinpoint what it is.
“Um… we can talk about it later.”
Well, that’s an ominous response.
“How are you feeling? Do you want some water? A shower?” The subject change is not subtle, but I do want both of those things.
“Water please, then shower, and then there’s a lot of blanks you need to fill in.” Cee sighs in defeat, clearly not looking forward to that part but begrudgingly agrees.
The hot water pelting me in the shower feels amazing on my skin. I scrub my hands down my face and immerse myself under the large tropical shower head. There are several patches of skin on my arms and legs that are a light pink colour; the burns must have been horrendous for my skin to still be healing this many days later. I don’t think it’s really hit me yet; how close I came to dying.
Choosing not to dwell on those thoughts, I take a good look around the room. It’s a beautiful mixture of old and modern. Stunning hardwood floors with what appears to be brand-new bathroom appliances installed. The walls are white, but the bath and shower are against a wall of green subway tiles, contrasting nicely. I assume the place is Noah’s, but it’s certainly not his place in Edinburgh, that’s for sure.
“Who’s house is this?” I ask, curiosity getting the better of me.
“Can we add this to the talk for after the shower?” Cee replies from where he’s perched on the toilet lid while I scrub every inch of my skin. He claimed it was in case I suddenly felt faint, but I’m feeling fully healed now, and I suspect it has more to do with him not wanting me to be out of his sight after what happened.
As much as almost dying in a fire sucks, I don’t remember a thing, and I have to keep in mind that if I was in Cee's shoes, I'd be a total mess right now. He pulled me from our burning home, unconscious and covered in burns. He didn’t even know if I was alive; that must have been terrifying for him.
“Oh shit, what about Magnus? Is Magnus okay? He got out, right?” I blurt, spitting out a mouthful of toothpaste down the shower drain after suddenly remembering our fur baby, and feeling awful I didn’t think to ask sooner.
“He’s fine; he’s downstairs,” Cee reassures me. A smile tugs at his mouth because he adores that little black cat. He takes the toothbrush from me and pops it in a cup by the sink. After I’ve rinsed off all the suds from the shampoo and conditioner, I turn off the shower, and Cee hands me a large, fluffy white towel to dry off.
Back in the bedroom, Cee pulls out some jogging bottoms, a t-shirt, and socks for me to wear.
When I step out of the bedroom onto the landing, I’m blown away. The bedroom and ensuite are on a mezzanine looking out onto a large open-plan home below. It’s simple and minimalist, but every single detail looks thought out, and it’s beautiful. At the other end of the house are floor-to-ceiling windows that look out onto rolling hills. Every single detail of this place is breathtaking and unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. Yet, there’s also something so familiar about it.
As I make my way down the stairs, Cee follows and walks into the kitchen to put the kettle on. I perch on one of the bar stools pulled up to a kitchen island, and stare at my surroundings. When Cee turns to face me, something in his expression is self-conscious, but I can’t really fathom why.
Connor Kelly
“This place is stunning, where’s Noah?” Fee asks.
“He’s gone home.”
“This isn’t his place?” I take a deep breath and then blow it out in a rush before answering.
“This is our place.” His eyes go wide as he scans the space again.
“Um, babe, how much smoke did you inhale in that fire? Because this is not our place.” He sounds incredulous, and I can’t really blame him. I’m suddenly questioning my decision to keep this a secret all this time.
“You know that secret work project I wouldn’t tell you anythin’ about? Well, this is that,” I say to him, gesticulating at our surroundings.
“I’m going to need you to fill in a lot more gaps.”
“Firepower. Trend. Blog.” His brown eyes stretch wide like saucers as the recognition sets in. He opens his mouth to speak and closes it again several times. “I came here in early May. I’m not sure why. I think I just wanted the nostalgia trip, and I saw a for sale sign on the land. When I got in touch, they said the barn and roughly five acres of land, includin' the woods, were for sale, with plannin’ permission already granted for a barn conversion. I’d sold my half of the business to Mikey, and I still had the money from my mum’s life insurance sittin’ there, so I made them an offer. The sale only officially went through in July, but we were able to put an agreement in place for me to start work on it.” I realise I’ve been staring at a spot on the floor as I explain, so I lift my gaze up to see Fee’s reaction. He’s just sitting there, slow-blinking at me with his eyebrows almost at his hairline.
“You did this? This is really our place?” he asks, and I nod. He gets up from the stool he’s been sitting on and walks towards me. His hands tightly cup my face as he presses his lips to mine. “I can’t believe you did this,” he mumbles against my mouth, and I smile in relief that I obviously didn’t fuck this up.
“Couldn’t exactly have anyone else shaggin’ in our barn, could we?” I say before returning the kiss. His tongue sweeps inside my mouth, tasting me before he pulls away and looks down into my eyes. He licks his bottom lip and gives me a questioning look.
“That smell from before; you taste different. What’s going on?” In fairness, I think I would react far worse if Fee suddenly smelled and tasted different. I gulp, knowing when I tell him this, it will change everything.
“When I pulled you from the fire, you were in your human form. Your pulse was weak, and you were so badly burned.” I scrunch my eyes closed, desperately trying to keep the images at bay. “You weren’t healin' quickly enough. You couldn’t shift because you were unconscious, and I kept beggin' you to shift. It’s like my brain knew it was the only way to save you, and it triggered my Alpha gene. You woke up for a second and shifted, but the Alpha Order I gave you… It changed me.” I look up into his eyes, trying to show him how much I never wanted this for us. Fee and I have always been equals, and I hate how this changes things, but I wouldn’t take it back. “I didn’t mean to, but I can’t be sorry because it saved you, and I will always do whatever it takes to save you.”
Fee looks surprised, not that I blame him. Since he woke up, I’ve bombarded him with huge life-changing information, and he’s taken it all in stride so far. I’m not sure what I expected, but a bellow of laughter was not it.
“I won’t lie; there’s a small part of me that thinks I’m in a coma or something somewhere, and this is all a dream,” he says once he’s gathered himself. “But in all seriousness, there’s nobody I would rather have as my Alpha than you, my bossy little bottom.” He chuckles again at the ridiculousness of all of this.
“We’re still equals,” I try to tell him, but he interrupts me with a quick kiss.
“We aren’t, but that’s okay. In our pack, you’re my Alpha now, and I’ll always defer to you. But in our marriage, we’re still just me and you. I know you won’t ever abuse this power. I trust you.”
Fee's words are a balm. I don’t know how he does that, but he always seems to know exactly what to say to soothe all of my concerns at once. Until this point, I’d been so focused on Fee healing I hadn’t even realised how worried I was about how he’d take this news, but I should have known better. Fee has always been my steady rock; reliable, consistent, and always so measured.
Over the years, there have been times when I doubted if Fee felt as strongly for me as I did him, but I know that’s my own insecurities. Now, with all the facts laid bare, I can see clearly how much Fee’s love for me never faltered. Even in the year I wouldn’t speak to him, he always tried to reach out, letting me know in his own way that he hadn’t forgotten me.
He kisses me again—leisurely—like we have all the time in the world, and I guess we do. His warm tongue laps at the seam of my lips, seeking permission to taste me fully. I gladly oblige and open my mouth for him. As his tongue meets mine, my skin heats all over with a rush of want and need. As his big hands grip my face tighter, his fingers dig into the back of my neck, and I moan into his mouth at how good it feels.
Fee's hands travel down my body, and in one quick motion, he grabs the backs of my thighs and lifts me so I’m sitting on the kitchen counter. I’m marginally higher than him now, and he presses kisses adoringly along my jaw and down my neck, nipping and sucking at my tender, sensitive skin.
“I’m not going to do it today, but one day soon, I’m going to finally sink my teeth into this spot right here,” he licks the delicate skin where my shoulder and neck connect. “And everyone will know that you belong to me. Everyone will know what I’ve known for years: that you’re my mate and that you’re mine.” He speaks the last part quietly into my ear before sucking my earlobe into his mouth, grazing his teeth on it as he lets it go. I groan as my cock thickens behind my jeans, and I arch towards him, seeking friction that isn’t there.
Fee's thumb rubs gently on the sliver of skin he’s exposed above my jeans, and he presses his hand up underneath my t-shirt, tweaking my already stiff nipple between his finger and thumb. The sensation makes me gasp, loving the fine line between pain and pleasure that Fee always manages to keep me balanced on.
Reaching behind his head to tug his t-shirt off, I’m once again blown away with relief at seeing his beautiful, smooth skin that hardly shows any signs of the horrific burns that marred it just a few days ago.
Leaning down, I pepper kisses along his collarbone in appreciation of having him before me—whole and well. When his arms lift again to remove my t-shirt, I lean into his underarm and inhale deeply; he smells fresh and clean from his shower, but the earthy lavender scent that’s all him—is an aphrodisiac like no other.
Since I became an Alpha, I’ve found myself frequently overwhelmed with the need to smell him. I want to rub myself all over him until our scents are so blended you can’t even tell where he ends, and I begin.
Fee pulls on my hips, and I wrap my legs around his waist. He carries me into the living room as though I'm not an eighty-kilogram man before gently lowering me to the rug next to the sofa.
Our lips are fused together, and I suck on his tongue, enjoying the rumbling sound he lets out in response. When he undoes the button on my jeans, I lift my hips so he can tug them off.
Starting at the inside of my ankle, Fee peppers kisses along my leg. When he reaches my inner thigh, he grazes his teeth on the soft skin there, and I whimper in response. Ignoring my erection that's tenting my boxers, he continues up my body, kissing and licking up my stomach until he takes my nipple into his mouth and sucks, swirling his tongue around the hard bud. I try to buck my hips to demand his attention where I want it, but Fee drops his weight between my thighs, pinning me to the rug.
Fee comes willingly when I tug on his face, needing his lips against my own. Needing to taste him and savour the feel of him so alive under my fingertips. His tongue sweeps into my mouth, and he grinds his hips. The feel of his stiff cock pressing into me is incredible, but I want more. I reach into his joggers and take him in my hand, excitement and want bubbles beneath my skin as I anticipate having him inside me.
When he pulls away momentarily to remove the rest of his clothes, I quickly take off my boxers and give my cock a few tugs to provide a morsel of relief.
“Roll onto your stomach, baby,” he asks, and I don't hesitate to oblige.
I groan as he massages his thumbs into the backs of my thighs. When he pulls my cheeks apart and gently blows onto my hole, I can't help but flush despite the number of times we've done this. This feels different, though; there's no rush, no fear of being caught. He's making love to me in the home I made for us. I have to fight the urge to run away and hide, feeling undeserving of how he's worshipping my body like I'm his most prized possession.
The tip of his tongue teases my rim, and as much as part of me wants to beg him to hurry up and fuck me, I force myself to be patient. To enjoy the moment and the feel of my husband's hands and mouth all over me. He licks and sucks at my hole before pushing the tip of his thumb inside.
“Lube?” he asks.
“Wallet. Jeans pocket,” I pant.
I can hear some shuffling and the tear of a packet before slippery fingers tease at my entrance. I'm relaxed from his ministrations, and he slides two fingers in and out of me with ease.
He moves to lie on his side next to me, his thigh pressing down on mine, and I turn to face him so I can taste his lips as he preps me. It's slow and indulgent, and I can feel the fear and tension of the last few days leaving my body with every soft kiss and touch.
“You're being unusually patient today,” he says against my mouth.
“I'm tryin' to be good. I wanna be good for you,” I whisper and then moan as he adds a third finger.
“Baby, you're always good for me. I love you exactly as you are.”
“In that case, I am very, very ready, so get inside me, like, right now. Please?” He laughs, and when he removes his fingers from me, he swats me on the arse, causing me to yelp.
I turn over onto my back and watch as he uses the rest of the lube packet to coat his cock and then adds some more to my rim.
His wavy chestnut hair is still damp and tousled from the shower. His brown, soulful eyes are eclipsed by his blown-out pupils, and almost a week's worth of stubble makes him look rugged, like a lumberjack. He's absolutely breathtaking. And he's mine. My mate, my husband, my forever. These are the thoughts that circle my brain on a loop as he turns me on my side and lies down behind me. I bring my knee up, and a whimper escapes my lips as the head of his cock nudges my entrance.
Fee's big strong arm wraps across my chest and pulls me tight against him. I take a deep breath and bear down; between the world's longest prep and plenty of lube, he pushes inside smoothly. I can feel the stretch, but it's satisfying, and I welcome the fullness.
“Good?” he asks once his hips are flush with my arse.
“So good. Take me apart, Fee. I'm all yours.”
He tugs my chin far enough to lean forward and kiss me. He kisses me like his life depends on it until he finally begins to move.
Fee takes his time, gliding almost all the way out before slowly pushing back in again. The way the head of his cock grazes against my prostate with each thrust is like sweet torture. I reach back to try and grip his hip, encouraging him to move faster, but instead, he stills inside me.
“Nuh-uh. You're being a good boy, remember? Letting me have my way.” I scowl, but he can't see. I move my hand from his hip to stroke myself.
Thankfully, I don't have to wait long before he speeds up, thrusting harder and harder. His fingertips dig into my hips and stomach as leverage to fuck into me at a relentless pace, and this, this is what I needed. I needed him to make me forget the terror of the fire, the horrific burns that littered his beautiful skin. To consume me with the scent of damp earth and lavender. For his sweat to drip onto my body and mix with mine. To fuse us together and remind me that he's here and he's not going anywhere.
“Fuck. I love you so much; you can't ever leave me,” I tell him, and he slows.
“I'm not going anywhere, baby. I'm right here. Feel?” He turns me to face him and kisses my palm before pressing it over his heart. The thud thud thud is reassuring under my hand, and the quick, steady beat says 'I'm alive'.
Pressing firmly against his chest, I roll him onto his back and straddle him. Lining his cock up with my hole, I sink down onto him before welding my lips back to his.
As I ride him, undulating up and down his length, he strokes my aching cock at the perfect pace. My orgasm builds slowly, like an exquisite ache in my groin that grows and grows until my balls draw up and it's about to crest.
“You're such a good Alpha, such a good boy. Come for me,” he whispers, and I erupt at his words. My cum spurts out of me and paints his stomach; he's a perfect work of art. My whole body shakes and tremors from the magnitude of my release.
Fee grips me and then pistons up, hard and fast, while never taking his eyes off me. It doesn't take long before he swears, plunges deep inside me, and his cock throbs as his cum floods my arse.
We're both panting, and I drop my weight onto his solid body, blanketing him as I slowly return to earth.
We kiss each other; it's languid and full of gratitude for what we still have. What we grew, destroyed, and nurtured back to health.
Eventually, Fee's softening cock begins to slip out of me. His finger strokes and rubs at my used rim, gently pushing his cum back inside as it leaks out.
“Enjoying yourself back there, caveman?” I ask, playful but still drunk and spaced out from my orgasm.
“Mm,” he says before planting a kiss on my collarbone. “I wish we had a butt plug so I could keep it trapped inside you,” he mutters into my skin. His big brown eyes are as soft as ever, and his cheeks pinken like he didn’t quite mean to say that out loud.
I smile at him, and my heart aches with how much love I feel in this moment. Aches at what I almost lost—not only a few days ago. A whole year of him I didn't get to witness, and I promise myself—never again.
All the tension that’s made a home in my bones and muscles these last few years finally ebbs away. I can breathe full breaths again. Let myself fall because I know he’ll be there to catch me.
I don’t know what’s coming; I don’t know why someone tried to kill my husband, and I certainly don’t know how to be an Alpha of a pack. But I do know I’ll be tackling every moment of it with Fee by my side, and I don’t have the words for how fucking content and happy that makes me.