31. Thirty-one
Thirty-one
June 2023
Phoenix Campbell
“ H ow many weddings is too many weddings?” Cee asks from where he’s standing in front of the mirror, butchering his bowtie.
“Well, the first one was legal, the second was for show, and I’d say the third one is going to be just right .” I wink at him and then spin him to face me so I can tie his bowtie properly.
“Alright, Goldilocks. Let’s agree this is most definitely the last, though.” I smile and peck a kiss on his lips once I’m finished.
With so much tension and resentment shadowing our official weddings last year, we wanted a do-over on our own terms. A chance to have the wedding we had talked about and planned over the years we were together.
“Go time, boys,” Niamh shouts from outside our bedroom door.
“Why am I so nervous? Fuck, we’ve been married for over a year, this is ridiculous.” Cee wipes a bead of sweat from his temple.
“Come on, husband,” I say, reaching out for him with my hand. Our fingers intertwine, and we both take a deep breath as we leave the room.
With Connor still being paranoid that someone is going to try and kill me, we’re having our third and final wedding on our land, within the safety of Noah’s wards. We’ve hired a marquee for the reception, and Niamh and Will have done a beautiful job arranging the seating, flowers, and an archway for the ceremony.
We don’t have tons of guests; both of our families, as well as close friends from our old packs, are here, along with a few people from the Eastwood pack. Alice stands under the archway, ready to lead the ceremony. She joined our pack in December, and as the only person who knew us together when we were younger, it seems fitting. Niamh and Jasper are on either side of her as best man and woman. When the music begins, Cee and I slowly walk down the makeshift aisle for our very last, I do.
“As this is a somewhat less official wedding, the grooms have opted to write their own vows, which they will now read out,” Alice says, and I take a large gulp of air. I’m sorely regretting agreeing to go first. I clear my throat a little too loudly and wince.
“As some of you know, and some of you don’t know, I met Connor six years ago today. I was minding my own business, enjoying a late night swim, when this big dark grey wolf appeared, rudely interrupting me.” Several of our guests laugh, and Cee rolls his eyes.
“The moment you appeared, it felt like coming home, only to a home I’d never been to before. I knew the moment the breeze blew your scent towards me that this was it. That you were my home and I’d met my mate. You’ve been the focal point of my world ever since.
“I promise to always see you, Connor Kelly, for all that you are. I see how you show your love quietly in a million different ways and how you fiercely protect the people you care about. I know that to be loved by you is a privilege and one I promise to never take for granted. I promise to love you and always be a place of safety for you to call home.”
Cee’s eyes are glassy, his throat bobs, and a single tear escapes, tracking down his cheek. Reaching for his face, I wipe it away with the pad of my thumb.
“Fuck, I swore I wasn’t gonna cry today,” Cee says, scolding himself. “Or swear.” A few of our guests laugh, but I spot Cee's dad in the front row, crying freely. There’s an empty seat next to him we reserved in honour of Cee's mum. Connor’s parents were mated, and I can’t imagine what it must have been like for him to lose her so suddenly.
Cee takes a few deep breaths and squares his shoulders before speaking. “I’m regrettin' lettin' you go first because we both know you’ve always been better at expressin’ your feelings than I have, so that’s a tough act to follow.” He lets out a small huff.
“I was fortunate that for the first twelve years of my life, I got to witness true love. Every single day. My parents were mated from the age of eighteen, and I got to see what it looks like to love someone steadfastly through good days and bad.
“For a long time, I felt as though our love story had a big hole in it. That the year we spent apart would always mean we were a before and an after, but the truth is that even absent from each other’s lives, you loved me unwaveringly. You loved me even when I made myself a hard person to love. And I loved you despite my best efforts not to.” Our guests let out a chuckle at that.
“So my promise to you is that I will always put my love for you first. I promise to do everythin’ I can to make sure you never doubt it. I promise to weather every storm with you, side by side. I promise to love you fiercely until the day I die because, yes, I refuse to let you go before me.” He sniffles and laughs wetly. I can feel my own cheeks are utterly saturated with tears, and I’m speechless.
Before Alice even has a chance to say the next part, my hands are on either side of his face, and I press my lips to his. He melts into me, and when I pull away and look down into his bright, sparkling green eyes, my heart settles.
I don’t know what the future will bring, but I’m not worried about us. The past six years have only been the beginning of what I know will be our very own epic love story, a love story with no holes in it.
“I’d say ‘and you may now kiss,’ but you went off script and did that already,” Alice says. “So I’m just going to declare you—for the third and final time—husband and husband. Let’s all go eat, drink and dance until our feet hurt!”
Connor Kelly
After the meal, all our guests sit around their tables, drinking wine and chatting away. The atmosphere in the room is so full of joy; it’s palpable. I felt a bit foolish when I suggested to Fee we have a do-over wedding. We’d spent so many years discussing and planning it that I felt kind of cheated when we ended up getting married under such shitty circumstances, but this feels right.
Fee nudges me with his elbow, “I think this is the part where we’re supposed to do the rounds and make small talk,” he says quietly into my ear.
“Ugh. I hate small talk. You love it; why don’t you do this part?” I suggest, hopefully, but he just laughs. He stands, reaching his hand out towards me, and I join him begrudgingly, interlacing our fingers as Fee tugs me towards a nearby table.
Apparently getting the worst over with first, we make our way to Fee’s family table. Things seem more tense than usual, but they’re mostly focused on Henry, who is enthusiastically bashing the table with two spoons.
Why is it so unnecessarily awkward to talk to a table of people who are sitting down while you’re standing? It’s as though I’ve suddenly grown extra limbs I don’t know what to do with. While Fee says hello to his family, I stand there like a spare part with a fake smile on my face. I promised him I wouldn’t make a scene and I’d be civil. However, the anger that still courses through my veins when I think of his mum, Alpha Ordering him to marry Niamh, makes it challenging.
My defences go up when I spot Jasper glaring angrily over at my family’s table. At first, I think he’s aiming dagger eyes at Noah, but when I glance at Sam, who’s to his left, his eyes are wide and faintly bloodshot, but he’s staring right back. Jade also seems to spot the bizarrely intense exchange between her husband and my brother, but she glances away sadly before returning her attention to Henry.
“Am I okay to take Henry to the house for a nap?” she asks Fee as she lifts him from his high chair.
“Yes, of course. The house should be unlocked, and his carry cot is set up in the guest room,” Fee replies and then glances at Jasper, who doesn’t seem to have even noticed that his wife and son have left the table. Fee scrunches his brows at me in question, but I just shrug.
Not going to touch that with a barge pole.
Once we’ve made our way around all the tables, Fee heads across the dance floor to where the DJ is setting up the music for the evening. Before anyone can grab me to make more incessant small talk, I duck out to use the temporary toilets situated behind the marquee.
I get to enjoy a brief moment of quiet solitude while I take a piss in the urinal, but it doesn’t last long before Sam comes bursting through the door.
“Hey, little bro.” His words are slurred, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this drunk.
“Someone’s been enjoyin’ the free bar a bit too much, I see.” I smirk at him as I turn around and zip up my fly.
“You and Phoenix are mates, right?” Sam asks, jarring me with the sudden subject change.
“Um. We haven’t made that part official yet, but yes. Why?”
“How did you do it?”
“Do what?”
“The year when you were apart, how did you manage to stay away? Didn’t your skin itch to be near him?”
“I mean, you saw me that year, Sam. I was a hot mess.” I try to laugh it off and hope he changes the subject because I still get a horrible feeling in my gut whenever I dwell too much on the year we spent apart. He lets out a weighted sigh. “Why? What’s up?”
“Nothin’. Doesn’t matter. Probably gonna die alone, is all.” When I look more closely at my usually serious and sensible older brother, I can see in his eyes he hasn’t slept well in a long while. He’s never been one to drink heavily, and at five pm, he already smells like a brewery.
“Come on, let’s get you some water and maybe a coffee; the night is young.” I wrap an arm around his shoulders to help steady him, and we make our way back over to the marquee.
Fee catches me the second we’re back inside.
“Babe, it’s almost time for our first dance,” he tells me. He’s bouncing on the balls of his feet, and his voice is laced with excitement.
“Gimme me two secs.” Glancing around the room, I try to locate my sister but can’t see her. When I lug Sam over to the bar to ask for some water and coffee, Jasper is there ordering a drink.
“Hey, Jasper, you couldn’t do me a favour, could you? It’s time for the first dance, and I need someone to help Sam sober up a bit. Could you make sure he drinks these?” I ask, knowing he can’t exactly say no since it’s my wedding day and all. He looks panicked, and his eyes dart around the room as if someone will jump in and save him from this very small favour. He’s out of luck on this occasion.
“Jasper won’t help me. Jasper hates me. He prolly wishes I was dead so e’rythin would be simple,” Sam mumbles and I’m not entirely sure what he’s talking about. Jasper rolls his eyes and wraps his arm around Sam so I’m no longer propping him up.
“Jesus. I don’t hate you, and I don’t wish you were dead. Here, drink this.” He says, holding the glass of water with a straw up to Sam’s lips. Content that responsibility for my very intoxicated brother has been palmed off onto someone else, I go in search of my husband.
I find Fee chatting to Alice and Benjy on the edge of the dance floor and sneak up behind him. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I have to go on my tiptoes to prop my chin on his shoulder.
“Ready for our first dance?” I ask. He turns his face and pecks a chaste kiss on my lips.
“So ready.” His enthusiasm is infectious, and I know the grin on my face must be a mile wide. Fee gestures to the DJ, who finishes Valerie by Amy Winehouse and then announces through the microphone that it’s time for our first dance as husband and husband.
Fee takes my hand and pulls me along behind him to the centre of the now-empty dance floor. When ‘Turn’ by the Wombats starts playing through the speakers, I can’t help but laugh. I told Fee he could choose the song, and he’d wanted it to be a surprise. Fee’s smiling like the cat who got the cream. He puts his hands on my waist and squeezes gently. I wrap my arms around his neck, and we dance and sway to the music.
As The Wombats sing about running with the wolf pack when your legs are tired, Fee spins me out and back in again before dipping me low for a kiss. It’s hard to kiss him back while I’m smiling so wide, but I wouldn’t change a thing. Several of our guests begin to join us on the dance floor, including Niamh and Will, who appear to be doing some kind of salsa.
After dancing for a while, Fee and I go in search of some refreshments. He then takes a seat on a chair that’s on the edge of the dancefloor but near enough to the door so we can get the benefit of the cool, night air. He tugs me down onto his lap; I’m generally not one for PDA, but I reckon I can make an exception on my own wedding day.
We take a moment to enjoy watching our friends and family dancing and having fun together, and my heart could burst from being so full. I’m relieved to see Sam and Niamh dancing, and he’s looking considerably more sober than earlier in the evening.
In the far corner of the dance floor, I’m surprised to spot Will with Calvin; I didn’t think they really knew each other. Their differences should look comical, but they complement each other. Will’s slim build, porcelain skin and bouncy blonde hair contrast with Calvin, who must be close to six foot five with brown skin and his tight black curls cut short. Where Will’s energy radiates sunshine and combustible energy, Calvin is calm and steady, and he’s looking at Will adoringly. It might be nothing, but seeing a spark of potential for Will makes me unbelievably happy. He sacrificed so much for me when he married my sister, and I owe him so much.
When 'Just you and I' by Tom Walker starts playing, Fee taps my thigh gently so I stand up. We rejoin the dance floor, which is quieter now. Mostly couples swaying gently as the pace of the music slows down. We dance together in the centre of the room with our friends and family around us, but I don’t see anyone but him.
“Truth or Dare?” Fee whispers into my ear, sending a little shiver down my spine.
“Truth,” I reply, smiling at him.
“Hmmm, do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?” I can’t help but laugh, the memories from that fateful night under the waterfall invading my mind.
“Well, no girlfriend, because I don’t generally swing that way. But I do have a husband,” I reply, trying to keep a straight face but failing.
“Oh, that’s a shame.”
“Truth or Dare?” I ask.
“Truth.”
“Have you ever thought about kissing me?”
“Mm. Only every day for the past six years. Truth or dare?”
“Dare.” His eyes sparkle with mischief when I reply.
“I dare you to kiss your husband how you always pictured it.”
And I do.
Cupping his face in my palms and angling his head down to meet mine, I press my lips to his. I softly lick his bottom lip with my tongue, and he makes a contented rumbling sound in his chest.
I breathe in his soothing scent, damp earth and lavender.
He smells like home and all mine.