Chapter 11 #4
Millie waves a hand like she’s swatting away the weight of the memories. “But enough about me, back to you two. Why didn’t it work out?”
I groan. “You just had to ruin the moment.”
“Come on, you have to give me something. Give an old woman a thrill! I have so little to live for.” Perhaps realizing she’s getting nowhere with me, she turns her spotlight on Ryder. “When did you fall in love with her?”
I’m about to shut this whole thing down when he suddenly starts talking.
“There was something there from the first day we met,” Ryder says quietly.
He’s staring straight ahead, and it’s a particular torture that I can’t see his face.
“She came in for the audition, and it was like the wind changed. She woke me up. She made colors brighter.” He shakes his head slightly.
“I’ve never experienced anything like it, before or since. ”
Heat crawls up my face like a sunburn.
“We weren’t together right away. Actually, we were at each other’s throats for a while,” he admits. “I wasted a lot of time. But then things…shifted.”
“You fell in love,” Millie says with a sigh.
He finally turns to look back at me, the corner of his mouth lifting in a heartbreaking smile. “We did.”
Millie hums a contented sound. Meanwhile, I’d like to eject from this plane. Painful memories claw at my insides, desperate to get out, and I’m just as desperately trying to keep them bottled up.
“She was a lot like she is now. Feisty, fearless. So talented it made me want to scream at times. Wasn’t afraid to tell it to me straight, didn’t give me an inch.” He laughs to himself. “It was the best time of my life. I never felt so alive.”
“You could see it all on screen,” Millie says tenderly. “It was so clear how much you loved her.” Oh, for heaven’s sake.
This has gone far enough. “Fine, you want some behind-the-scenes details?” I finally break in, desperate to derail this. “We almost couldn’t film the plane scene because Ryder was so deathly afraid of flying, he was crying like a little baby. I had to talk him through it like a child.”
“It’s true,” he tells Millie, and his capitulation just makes me angrier.
I’m itching for a fight, and he won’t give me one.
“Can you imagine how pathetic I looked? A guy has his pride, you know. I couldn’t embarrass myself that way in front of her again, so I got my pilot’s license just to impress her. ”
“Oh, shut up,” I say, exasperated. He grins at me, soaking up my irritation like butter on a hot roll.
“I won’t lie to you Millie, on-set romances aren’t exactly unusual. But this?” He swipes his finger across the computer screen before flashing her a showstopping smile. “This one was different. We were different.”
“If you were so in love, whyever did you break up?” she asks, a thread of hope woven through her voice, and a silent scream is trapped behind my ribs. I’m unraveling from the inside out.
“Ah. Well, that is an excellent question for Scarlett.”
At that exact moment, the plane jolts, sudden and sharp, like we’ve hit an invisible pothole in the sky.
The seatbelt tugs tight across my lap as we’re pitched to one side, metal creaking and rattling around us.
I let out a scream as we lose altitude, my stomach lurching as I grip the armrests in terror.
“Everything’s fine,” Ryder says calmly, even as the yoke twitches and vibrates in his hands. “It’s just a bit of wind shear. It’s totally normal. Remember, turbulence feels worse in small planes.”
“You think?” I exclaim, my heart jackhammering in my chest. “Maybe we can skip the relationship postmortem and focus on flying? Some of us don’t want to die today,” I snap, sarcasm barely covering the tremble in my voice.
“But what a way to go,” Millie says, beaming at Ryder like we didn’t just see our lives flash before our eyes. “Imagine my obituary!”
“No one’s dying,” Ryder assures us confidently. “Just a little choppiness.” He’s pressing so many buttons on the console, it’s making me dizzy. I close my eyes and pray that if we’re going to crash, it’ll be a swift death. I might just pretend to be asleep for the rest of this outing.
I hear Millie’s voice filter over the comms. “You were right, she is feisty,” she says to Ryder. “I’m so glad it worked out to bring her along. Thanks for making it happen.”
My eyes spring open just in time to see him flick an uneasy glance over his shoulder. I meet it with a glare hot enough to melt the headset right off his skull.
Get me off this plane.
Holly is waving at us as we taxi in, and I’m unbuckled and climbing out before the plane’s even stopped moving. I hear Ryder ask her to help Millie inside and wait for him while I take off at a near sprint, my ride already waiting for me in the parking lot, engine running.
I hear him calling my name, but I don’t slow. I’m halfway to the parking lot when he catches up and grabs my arm, and I whirl around.
“What?” I yell, practically vibrating with fury, and he flinches, visibly taken aback.
“What do you want from me, Ryder? I’ve done what you asked—no, what you tricked me into doing.
And you might think it’s funny to relive this stuff, to force me to play your little game, but this isn’t a game for me.
” I feel like I’ve been stripped of my skin, leaving all my emotions raw and on display, exposed like an open wound.
He looks rattled by my outburst. “It’s not a game for me, either.”
“Could’ve fooled me.” I turn on my heel and resume my breakneck pace, beelining toward the town car idling in the distance.
“I’m telling you the truth! It really was Millie’s idea to have you come. I just…didn’t dissuade her.”
“Whatever,” I mutter under my breath, not breaking stride.
“What do you want me to say?” he presses, his voice rising. “That I wanted you here? That I wanted to show you I’m not that same pathetic kid who loses it at the sight of a plane? Of course I did. Scarlett please, will you just wait?”
His honesty lands harder than I want it to, deflating my indignation enough to slow my pace. A thought slips through before I can block it: I never thought you were pathetic. Finally I turn, crossing my arms over my chest, as if to say, Well?
He lets out a ragged breath. “You refuse to talk to me—hell, you’ll barely even look at me—so yeah, I withheld a few details to get you to come today.
I guess I wanted to…I don’t know. Shock you.
Prove I’m not the same guy you remember.
” He sounds slightly sheepish, as though this is the first time he’s considered that dishonesty isn’t the best policy.
“Well, you’ve succeeded, okay? You’ve shocked me with your flawless flying skills, which make absolutely no sense, and announced your early retirement, and grown a beard.
You’ve watched me squirm for the last hour and messed with me for old times’ sake.
Are you happy now? Have we completed your bizarro bucket list yet? ”
His grin builds slowly as I rattle off my list of grievances, like he’s actually enjoying my dressing-down. And you know what, he probably is. He wanted to provoke me and now he has. I’m playing right into his hands.
He rubs a palm over his mouth, as though wiping away the evidence of his smile. “It did kind of feel like old times today, didn’t it? Honestly, sometimes I feel like I’ve been chasing that high for ten years.”