Chapter 34 #3
It was completely empty, which was fortunate, since I still hadn’t mastered the art of checking my destination before teleporting. My only thought had been to escape, to go somewhere different, somewhere safe. Somewhere I could breathe without suffocating myself with my emotions.
But where the hell was I?
I focused on the sound I’d been hearing, a waterfall cascading down the cliff face several hundred feet above me, tumbling into a pool a short distance away.
Something about the waterfall called to me, almost like recognition.
As I approached, the air shifted, and I was sprayed with a fine mist that should have been cool but instead felt pleasantly warm.
There was a dark crevice in the cliff behind the falls, shimmering with the telltale sign of powerful wards.
Running my hands over the rocky surface, something deep inside me knew what to do, as if my channels knew exactly where we were, and from some unknown place, I dredged up the words that unraveled the protections.
I stepped through the parted wards in the crevice and walked into a perfect clearing with a country cottage, surrounded by more of the stunning tulips.
Walls of stone, unfaded from the sun, were covered in climbing vines, windows outlined with shutters and flower boxes glowed with an internal light.
I had no idea whose cottage it was, but my soul channel provided me with the knowledge that it was empty and would stay that way.
A sanctuary for me, should I choose to accept it.
Everything about it whispered of peace and safety and light.
The serenity lasted exactly long enough for me to take one deep breath before it was interrupted by an angry male presence behind me.
“You ran from me?” He seized my shoulders and spun me around to face him, eyes blazing with hurt and fury. “How could you just disappear like that?”
I shoved hard against his chest, but it was like pushing a mountain. “How did you even find me?”
“I will always find you!” Birds took flight as he bellowed, expressing their displeasure at the disturbance of the peace. His grip dug into my shoulders. “Voda’s sweet waters, Lexa, don’t you know we’re mates? I’ll always find you!” He gave me a firm shake.
“Of course I know we’re mated!” I fired back, my voice cracking with emotion. “That’s how I survived! I followed the bond back to you! Twice! First when I went back in time and then to claw my way out of stasis. You were my beacon, the only thing that kept my soul from getting lost forever!”
I had never seen that expression on his face—pure, stunned disbelief replaced the anger. I watched the fight drain out of him, like water pouring from a broken dam.
“You knew?” His voice was barely above a whisper. “You knew we were mates? Then… then why run?”
“Because I’m pissed at you, you bastard!
” The words exploded out of me. “And I’m pissed at how I feel when I think of you and Aine together!
And I needed one godsdamned minute for myself.
” I was breathing hard now, all the hurt and confusion from not just today but the last several months pouring out.
“You’ve run hot and cold on me for months!
How was I supposed to know you felt it too?
Every time I tried to open up to you, you pulled away.
And if that wasn’t enough, there’s also Finn! ”
I watched the separate shocks hit him in rapid succession. His hands relaxed their bruising grip on my shoulders. “Finn?” The careful control was back in his voice. “What does Finn have to do with it?”
The question hung between us, loaded with implications I wasn’t ready to face.
My anger deflated as quickly as it had flared.
And as it did, so did my energy. I lowered myself to the ground in what I liked to imagine was a controlled descent but in actuality was much more abrupt.
I breathed in the crisp, fresh air, my stomach clenching in knots.
If I told him what happened, I might irrevocably change his relationship with his brother, forever shattering something between them.
But how could I not tell Griff?
He sat next to me, close enough that I could feel his heat but careful not to touch me, as if he didn’t trust himself to maintain control if he did. His body tensed, prepared for anything.
“He’s your brother, and he…” I could see Griff’s legendary patience warring with his need to know the end of that sentence. I stared at my knees. “He kissed me.”
Griff went rigid, jaw clenched, eyes flashing with something dangerous. “When?” The single word was colder than the deepest winter night.
“Before I went back,” I said quickly, still not meeting his eyes.
“I felt nothing, absolutely nothing, when he did.” I forced myself to look at him, seeing the tension in every muscle of his body.
“And before you go accusing me of anything when it comes to Aine and that so-called marriage contract, think about exactly how murderous you feel right now.”
I could practically feel the internal war within Griff, to go hunt down his brother and pummel the shit out of him. The same way I still wanted to claw Aine’s eyes out.
After what felt like an eternity, he ran both hands over his face and exhaled sharply. “Shit. I know.”
We didn’t voice what we both knew. There was no point. Not with this thing blazing between us.
Finally, he shifted, his knee knocking against mine in what could have been an accident.
I tried to suppress the flutter that happened in my stomach every time he touched me but it was impossible.
His hand came to rest on my thigh, warm and possessive.
I kept my eyes down, staring at where we touched, my breath catching.
“Look at me, Princess,” he said quietly, nudging my chin with gentle fingers until I had no choice but to meet his gaze. The intensity there almost undid me. If I hadn’t been sitting down, I think my knees would have buckled.
“I can’t deny this anymore. We,” he stressed roughly, “can’t deny this.
You are my mate. You’re mine, and I’m yours, and this need to claim you, to claim the bond, is consuming me.
” His thumb traced along my jawline, and I shivered from the contact.
“The harder we try to fight it, the harder it holds on. I don’t want to fight it anymore. ”
His hand moved from my jaw to stroke my cheekbone with devastating gentleness, then slipped back to tuck my hair behind my ear. His fingers lingered there, sifting through the strands as though he couldn’t bear to stop touching me.
His thumb again rubbed over my jaw and I felt the caress all the way to my toes.
“You asked me for something real.” His voice dropped in volume, becoming intimate.
“Well, here it is, Princess.” He cupped my face in both hands, holding me captive.
But I couldn’t have looked away if I tried.
“I don’t want something from you, Lexa. I want everything from you.
I want to be the one you turn to in happiness and in sorrow.
The first face you see each morning and the last each night.
I want your every heartbeat, your every smile, your every frown.
I want to claim your every breath, kiss by kiss.
I want you, all of you, forever.” He leaned closer, his forehead nearly touching mine.
“You were never a duty, Lexa. Never an obligation. You are the very reason I draw breath, the other half of my soul.”
My breath hitched, my blood humming. Tears blurred my vision as he spoke, words that echoed what I’d heard him whisper between our souls when I was fighting my way out of stasis. Fighting my way back to him.
My heart was hammering so hard I was sure he could hear it. I opened my mouth, but no sound emerged.
“What is it?” His hand caressed my cheek, thumb catching a falling tear.
“That’s the most words you’ve ever said to me at once.”
He let out a rough laugh, raw and vulnerable, as I threaded my fingers through his.
He brought our clasped hands to his mouth, brushing a gentle kiss against my knuckles.
“I’m choosing you,” he said against my skin, his breath warm against my fingers.
“Choosing us. Now and forever, Lexa. I’m never letting you go because I can’t. You are a part of me now.”
I looked down at our entwined hands, feeling the weight of the moment.
My heart hammered against my chest, my thoughts swirling.
Of course I wanted him. I’d wanted him since the first moment I saw him, although I’d tried to bury it so deep I could pretend it didn’t exist. Fighting the pull these past several months had become like fighting a part of myself—futile and exhausting.
Everything was clearer when he was present. And there was something akin to physical pain when he was not. I’d tried to convince myself it was just attraction, but I knew better.
Breathing out heavily through my nose, I met his gaze. The raw need blazing there nearly shattered my composure entirely.
“If you need time—” he started, but stopped when he saw the decision written across my face. Hope lit up his features.
“I don’t,” I said softly, leaning toward him. “I need you.”
He caught my face in his hands, just before I could kiss him. “Just to be absolutely crystal clear, you’re accepting this? Accepting the bond? Accepting us as mates?”
Something in his tone suggested there was more to this than I understood. “Is there anything I should know about accepting the bond?”
His eyes burned into mine with possessive fire. “Just that you will be mine, completely and irrevocably. And there is no turning back, Princess.”
A slow smile crept over my face as I saw the intensity of his desire etched into every line of his face.
“I accept.”