Chapter 15 #2
"I've never seen anything like this," I breathed.
"This realm's atmosphere is thinner than most. Less to block the light." His voice was close to my ear, and I hid a small shiver.
We walked along the edge of the frozen sea, the boundary between solid ground and ice not always clear in the darkness.
I was so captivated by the sky that I wasn't watching my step.
My foot caught on something, perhaps an ancient mooring post or piece of debris, and I lurched forward as I pitched toward the ice.
In an instant, Cypher's arm shot out, catching me around the waist and pulling me back against his chest with enough force to knock the breath from my lungs.
"Careful," he murmured. "The ice might not hold your weight."
I turned in his arms to thank him, but the words died in my throat. His face was inches from mine, cast in shadow. His hand came up to cup my cheek, thumb brushing across my lower lip.
I should have pulled away. Should have made some quip about royal manners and personal space. But I couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't think past the heat of his hand on my face.
He leaned in slowly, giving me every chance to retreat. Our lips barely brushed, a ghost of a kiss, testing. Then his grip tightened, one hand sliding to the back of my neck as he pressed his mouth to mine harder than before.
Heat rolled through me, pooling low in my belly and spreading outward until my fingertips tingled with it. I clutched at his coat, pulling him closer as his tongue swept past my lips, deepening the kiss.
His mouth was demanding, and I surrendered to it completely.
With surprising strength, he backed me up until my shoulders met cold stone—some ancient retaining wall that once might have held back the tide.
Now it held me as Cypher pressed against me, his large frame blocking out the starlight until all I could see was him.
His body pressed flush against mine, and I felt the hard length of him against my belly, sending a shock of heat straight to my core.
My hands found their way beneath his coat, feeling the solid muscles of his back through his thin shirt.
He was so warm in this cold, dead place—alive and burning like a fallen star.
Our kisses grew desperate, teeth and tongues and shared breath. There were no words between us anymore. His hands were everywhere, learning me through my clothes, and when he dragged one slowly down my front, I sucked in a quick, shallow breath at the trail of heat it left behind.
He adjusted our position, his thigh pushing between mine as he aligned our bodies. The hard press of his cock against my center made me gasp even through our clothing. He caught the sound with his mouth, swallowing it as he began to move against me in a slow rhythm.
The friction was exquisite torture. I clutched at his shoulders, nails digging in as he ground against me. My head fell back against the stone wall, and his mouth immediately found my throat, kissing and nipping at the exposed skin. Each roll of his hips sent sparks shooting through me.
"Don't stop," I managed to whisper.
He responded by pressing harder, moving faster, his breath hot against my neck. I came with a broken cry, my entire body shuddering as waves of pleasure crashed through me. My thighs trembled around his hips, and I would have collapsed if not for his body pinning me to the wall.
As the tremors subsided, he slowed his movements, pressing soft kisses along my jaw, my cheeks, the corner of my mouth. His eyes were nearly black with desire when they finally met mine.
The world came rushing back, and with it, came fear.
Uncertainty. I was letting myself get swept away by this man.
The same man, who at the start of this, warned me not to get attached.
He warned me explicitly that he was not some hero coming to save me.
I pushed gently against his chest. "We should get back to the ship. "
Confusion flickered across his face, then understanding. He stepped back, allowing me space to breathe, to think. "Juno—"
"Not now," I said, straightening my clothes with shaking hands. "I can't... I need to think."
He nodded, respecting the boundary even as disappointment shadowed his eyes.
We walked back to the ship in silence, the stars overhead suddenly feeling less like beauty and more like distant, cold observers of my foolishness.
My heart hurt as a chasm yawned between us.
But it was best to put a stop to this before I could get in too deep.
Cypher was royalty. Our lives simply were not compatible for the long term, and I knew already that I would never be able to move on once I’d had him for myself.
When we reached the gangplank, I hesitated. "Cypher, I—"
"You don't need to explain," he said softly. "I understand."
But he didn't. How could he understand when I barely understood myself? I wanted him—had wanted him for longer than I cared to admit or even realized myself. But wanting wasn't enough. Not when our futures pulled in different directions. Not when trust still felt fragile between us.
I climbed aboard without another word, retreating to my quarters where Kora thankfully slept soundly, oblivious to my problems. I lay in my bunk staring at the ceiling, my body still humming with echoes of pleasure while my mind raced with doubts.
I dreamed of storms and falling stars, of hands that burned like fire against my skin. In the dream, Cypher's voice called to me across impossible distances, pulling me toward something vast and unknown. I blindly followed until darkness swallowed me whole.
Something pulled me from the depths of sleep. A weight on my bed, the subtle shift of the mattress beneath me. My eyes fluttered open, my mind still clouded with dreams.
Cypher loomed over me, his knees planted on either side of my hips.
I realized he was straddling me, his face hovering inches from mine, tendrils of his dark hair brushing my collarbone.
In the dim cabin, a violet-hued crystal cast shadows across his features, making him look otherworldly, his copper eyes even brighter.
His shirt hung open, laces undone, revealing a strip of tanned skin and the hard planes of his chest. His hair was disheveled, as if he'd been running his hands through it repeatedly.
"What are you—" I began, my voice thick with sleep.
He brought one finger to my lips, silencing me.
My heart thundered. He lowered his head slowly, lips almost touching mine.
Then, slowly, he tilted his head, running the tip of his tongue along the seam of my lips.
His tongue was hot, and his breath tasted like expensive pipe smoke and herbal tea.
Every single shred of me wanted to lean up and meet his lips with mine, but I was frozen to the spot.
He pulled away, running his eyes over my face, taking his time.
"I don't regret touching you for a fucking second." With one hand, he pinched a lock of my pale hair between his fingers, then swirled the strand around one digit. "When you say the word, I'll pick up where I left off."
I couldn't speak, couldn't form words past the thundering of my pulse.
Cypher waited, his eyes searching mine. When I remained silent, he nodded once, as if confirming something to himself.
Without another word, he shifted his weight and climbed off me.
The loss of his warmth was immediate, leaving me cold and missing him immediately.
He moved to the door, never looking back.
The latch clicked softly as he pulled it closed behind him.
I lay there, heart racing, body humming with unfulfilled desire. The silence stretched, broken only by the sound of my ragged breathing.
"Well," Kora's voice came suddenly from the other bunk, making me jump. "That felt private."
I bolted upright, clutching the blankets to my chest. "Not a word, Kor. Nothing happened."
"Mhmm." The sound was noncommittal.
I threw a pillow over my own face and I laid back on the bed and muttered, "It's complicated."
She laughed. "Sorry, Junie, but whatever that was, happens to be the least complicated thing in your life at the moment."
"It's not very smart to get involved with someone like him. Not right now. My father's still in the Dredge. My mother's dying. I have responsibilities. And Cypher—" I faltered, unable to articulate the storm of feelings he evoked.
"Has responsibilities of his own," Kora finished for me. She was quiet for a moment. "But you know what I think?"
"No, but you're going to tell me anyway."
She snorted. "I think sometimes we use our responsibilities as shields. To protect us from what we really want, because wanting is scary. Having is scarier because it means possibly losing."
I groaned, pulling the pillow away from my face, my body slowly returning to a normal temperature. "When did you get so wise?"
"Around the time I stopped lying to myself about Jask." There was a smile in her voice. "Look, I'm not saying abandon your parents. I'm saying maybe there's a way to honor your responsibilities without sacrificing your own happiness."
Morning came too quickly, gray light filtering through the small window. Kora was already gone, her bunk neatly made. I dressed quickly, trying to prepare myself for the inevitable awkwardness of facing Cypher after last night.
The ship was unusually quiet as I made my way to the galley. I found Vic there alone, brewing tea. "You're up early," he remarked, sliding a steaming mug toward me.
"Where is everyone?"
"Scouting expedition. Cypher took most of the crew to explore the hills to the east. Something about water sources." He studied me. "You look tired."
"Didn't sleep well." I sipped the tea, grateful for its warmth. "Any word from Marcellus about my father?"
"Not yet, but communications are spotty here. The anchor crystals barely maintain connection to the Prime Realm."
I frowned, tapping my mug. "How does that work anyway? How do you receive messages across the Gallery?"