Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
He should not have enjoyed the way Akai held his hands so much. His touch was warm and gentle, despite his claws, and his attention was intoxicating. Like he was the center of Akai’s universe.
Like the monster wanted the same thing as him, which was impossible, because why would a monster who was living his best life, doing exactly what he wanted, want someone like him who barely had his shit together on a good day, and most days weren’t good days.
He glanced over at the monster in his kitchen, seemingly taking up every inch of space with his tall frame and wings, even though they were neatly folded, throwing together a salad.
The steaks were resting, and he’d taken the lid off some store-bought potato salad.
All that was left was to crack open another beer and play cards or something.
If it was only him, he’d watch the stars or read for a bit.
But he wasn’t alone, and he needed to do something to entertain his guest. They couldn’t sit in silence. Though that was infinitely better than accidentally saying what was on his mind and keeping his dick half-hard.
Watching the way Akai moved in the kitchen, chopping up various bits of greenery, how he handled the knife so gracefully despite his large hands and claws, it was a little too easy to wonder what else he might be good at handling.
Cole drew in a breath and looked away. Maybe a second beer wasn’t a good idea.
Or perhaps a second and third were exactly what he needed because then his guard would be lowered, and he could blame the words on the alcohol.
It didn’t feel like the kind of thing one should do drunk, even though being drunk would definitely lubricate his tongue so the words slipped out more easily.
When Akai had held his hands and looked at him with such concern that he hated his life, Cole hadn’t wanted to let go. But he had.
Should he have said something then?
He didn’t even know what to say without sounding like an idiot. It wasn’t as though this was an anonymous hookup.
Were they friends?
His gaze landed on Akai again. Honestly, no part of him should be finding the grey hairy monster with giant red eyes attractive. Maybe it was some kind of monster pheromone that was getting to him?
Or perhaps it was the way Akai listened to him and saw him, and now he couldn’t get the monster out of his head and didn’t know how to get him out of his pants.
Akai added the last thing to the bowl. “Done. Everything is safe for you to eat.”
“Are you sure?”
“Did I kill you last time?” Akai grinned, revealing his pointy little front teeth.
“No…but that doesn’t mean you won’t try this time,” he said with a smile.
“Then who’d check my wing, and bring me oats and honey? I think I’ll keep you alive for the moment.” He stuck two spoons in the bowl and slid it over the counter. “Are the steaks ready?”
“They should be.” Cole peeked under the foil. The trouble with steak was he never knew if he’d done a good job until he’d cut into it and put the first piece in his mouth. He glanced at Akai, and his heartbeat quickened. “Do you want another drink?”
“I’ll grab them.” Akai turned and reached into the little fridge, giving Cole a great view of his ass framed by his wings.
“Why do you wear pants the same color as your fur…hair?”
“Better for hiding. It would be a bit obvious if I wore bright yellow pants.”
“Why would you wear yellow?”
“Why wouldn’t I…I saw a great pair last year at…” He opened the bottle with a claw—which was a neat trick—and passed it to Cole before walking around to sit next to him at the kitchen counter.
Their knees touched, and for a moment, he couldn’t breathe. This was ridiculous. It wasn’t a first crush, or a first anything.
Although it might be his first monster…
He drew his leg away, and Akai looked at him like he had three heads. “Are you okay?”
Cole took a drink, not wanting to answer that question. “Yeah, starving.” He offered Akai the first choice of steak before keeping the plate for himself and adding potato salad and green salad. “This all looks great.”
“You did all the cooking.” Akai picked up the next fork, like they were sitting in a fine dining restaurant. “I should be thanking you.”
For a few minutes, there was no talking as they both concentrated on eating. Somehow, his leg drifted until it was resting against Akai’s. Akai’s wing brushed against his back, and he wondered what it would be like to have those wings wrapped around him.
What would claws feel like on his skin?
He bit his cheek instead of his food because he wasn’t paying attention. He winced and muttered a curse. But the pain drew his attention away from what his dick wanted.
“What’s wrong?” Akai turned slightly to look at him.
“Nothing.” Cole shook his head, unwilling to get into that conversation because the bite would lead to the reason he was distracted, which would mean admitting that he wanted Akai to spread him over the kitchen counter and feast on him.
Fuck him.
Akai frowned, the lids of his eyes lowering and changing the shape entirely. “You are lying.”
Cole closed his eyes. Another opening he should take, but he was too aware of every point of contact. His dick pressed against the fly of his work pants, and he wanted to readjust but didn’t dare draw attention. “I bit my cheek but didn’t want to say anything because it’s embarrassing.”
Akai laughed. “Monsters also forget how to chew. Do you also choke on your own spit?”
His cheeks heated, but only because he was thinking of spit and choking in ways Akai was not intending.
“Yes.” He forced the word out.
Akai was still grinning. “We are not so different.”
“You have wings.” That was a pretty big difference. “And are covered in hair.”
Akai shrugged. “You are also covered in hair, though you have less, and yours is not adapted for flight.”
“Are you saying I am less evolved?”
“No…you said that. I am evolved for flight and night hunting. You are meant to run around and hunt in daylight.”
They were not the same at all.
“But some hunting is done best at night?” Akai tilted his head.
Was Akai hitting on him? Was that a monster pick-up line?
And if he was wrong? “I guess that depends on what you’re hunting?”
He shoveled a forkful of potato salad into his mouth, not sure if Akai wanting him was better or worse.
Better because it had a chance of happening…
…worse because it had a chance of happening.
Could he go through with it? When else would he ever have the chance? He fidgeted, uncomfortable on the stool with his dick jammed up against his fly. He should have showered before dinner and sat there in his pajama pants…but then there would have been no hiding the truth.
He slid his gaze sideways to Akai’s lap, but the folds of his pants hid everything. This was ridiculous. He was acting like an awkward teenager.
“Do you want to do a puzzle or play a game after dinner?”
“I have done all your puzzles, but a game would be nice as I’ve played too much solitaire this week.” He gave Cole a lingering look, which made him think Akai wasn’t talking about cards.
That, or he was overthinking everything because he’d played solitaire thinking about the oversized moth in his cabin.
“I’d like to shower and get out of my work clothes and make up the sofa bed first.” He was only going to manage a couple of games before he crashed. Would Akai tell him not to bother and that they could sleep in the same bed?
“I’ll wash the plates and can make up the sofa.”
“Are you sure?” He tried not to sound too disappointed.
“The only reason I didn’t do it before was because I needed somewhere to lay out the puzzle.”
Which was exactly where he did the puzzles. It was nice watching the rain over the valley while he was cozy in the cabin. “Okay.”
Akai gathered up the plates and started filling the sink, which meant he needed to get a move on. He dropped the empty beer bottles in the box the shopping had been in, ready to take back home along with the rest of the rubbish, then grabbed his bag and slipped past into the bathroom.
As he undressed, he was very aware of Akai moving in the kitchen, and only the thin wooden wall between them. He kept the water a touch too cold for the shower to be relaxing, hoping that it would cool his blood. His dick did not get the memo.
For half a second, he considered rubbing one out. His fingers wrapped around his shaft, but Akai was humming and clattering around, and what if the door flew open and he was caught?
He gave his dick a squeeze and poked the sore spot on his cheek with his tongue. Maybe after Akai had gone to bed…
He tipped his face under the water, not sure what was wrong with him, only that he wasn’t thinking with his brain.
Questioning everything he thought about himself was not the upheaval he expected Akai to bring.
Yet there he was, wondering if it was because Akai was a monster or because he was being nice to him.
Possibly both.
One meant it had to be a secret, so he didn’t need to come out.
The other was because it was kind of the first time anyone had actually looked at him and asked him what he wanted.
Which didn’t make answering the question any easier.
He was twenty-three. He should have an idea about what he wanted his life to look like. And all he had was what he didn’t want.
Except for Akai. He wanted him.
He turned off the water because there was a limited supply, not because he was ready to get out and face the monster in his cabin. He needed to stop thinking of him as a monster. He was a mothman…a harpy.
And Cole had no idea what was in Akai’s pants. Did it matter when he was so keen to find out? They’d figure something out that felt good—that was, of course, assuming Akai was interested.
He rested his hands on the edge of the sink and stared at his foggy reflection, not sure he even knew who he was anymore. Perhaps he hadn’t known himself for the last seven years, and it was time to find out.
If he didn’t ask, he was going to be awkward all night, and if he did, and Akai wasn’t interested, it was also going to be awkward. So he had nothing to lose, right?
He gave his reflection a nod and muttered, “You’ve got this.”
Except he didn’t feel like he had anything aside from lust and hope. Which was still more than he had had a week ago…
He dried off and pulled on his pajamas, because he wasn’t going to walk out there wearing only a towel to ask if Akai wanted some of this the way one ex-boyfriend had.
With his pulse bouncing in his throat, he stepped out of the safety of the bathroom to an immaculate kitchen and a sofa instead of a sofa bed. Akai was sitting on the sofa; one arm draped over the edge, looking anything but relaxed.
“Do you need me to show you how to pull the bed out?” But Akai had folded it up.
“You should sleep in your bed,” Akai said.
“You won’t fit on the sofa bed.” They’d already had that conversation last weekend, and Cole was willing to bet Akai’s feet hung off the edge of his bed.
Akai’s gaze flicked over him, the light catching in the red of his eyes. He swallowed, but his gaze remained steady. “I’m hoping we both fit in your bed.”
“Oh.” This is what he wanted, so why were his feet glued to the floor?
Akai stood and closed the couple of feet between them. “This is where you either say yes or kick me out because staying will be…uncomfortable.”
Cole tilted his head to look up at him. “You want to sleep with me?”
“I want to do more than sleep next you.” Akai’s voice was low and soft. His fingers traced along Cole’s jaw.
Cole could barely breathe. He nodded, then realized that he needed to say something. “Yes…I’ve been thinking about it all week.”
Fuck, that was too much.
Now he sounded desperate.
Akai smiled. “So have I. But I wasn’t sure how to approach you, even after you walked in smelling of lust.”
“You can smell that?” Heat bloomed on his cheeks and spread down his throat.
It would’ve been a hell of a lot easier if he’d known how Akai felt sooner.
He wouldn’t have stressed himself out in the bathroom for a start, he could’ve relaxed knowing that the ball was in Akai’s possession since he had more info.
Akai nodded and leaned down, his fingers threading through Cole’s hair. “I’m going to kiss you now.” His lips brushed over Cole’s. “I’ve never kissed a human, so you’re going to have to help me out.”
“I’ve never kissed a monster. Is that rude?”
“No ruder than me calling you human.”
That was good to know. He tilted his head, giving Akai better access to his mouth, and lifted onto his toes.
Akai placed his other hand on Cole’s hip, the tips of his claws pressing through the thin fabric of his pajama pants and into his skin, as he kissed Cole as if he’d been waiting for years, not days.
Cole spread his fingers over Akai’s chest, enjoying the silky feel of his hair and the heat of his body.
Akai’s tongue traced over his lip and slid in as soon as Cole opened his mouth.
And Cole pressed against him, needing to be touched everywhere.
There was no mistaking the hard length that pressed against his belly and made his own dick throb with need.