Chapter 33
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Akai shouldn’t have been shocked that Cole handled himself in a room full of monsters, some of whom were verging on hostile—not because of personal experience with humans but because of history.
If anyone should hate humans, and Cole’s family especially, it should be him.
And if he’d known who Cole was before watching him and becoming far too interested in the human, he wouldn’t have stuck around to watch.
He’d have snarled and changed his route at best; at worst, he’d have possibly damaged the cabin to annoy Cole and scare him away.
Realizing that was not a good feeling.
He stared out the opposite window, back propped against the door, and legs stretched out on the back seat. Was he any different from those who dismissed all humans simply because of what they were?
“You’re being very quiet.” Cole glanced at him in the rearview mirror.
“Thinking.” Which wasn’t a lie.
“About?”
“Breakfast.”
Cole grinned. “Wish you’d gone back for more?”
“Yes, but I wanted to leave. You managed not to make gagging noises while I ate.” He’d been a bit worried, but whenever Cole made those noises, they were exaggerated.
“I thought that might be considered rude. I know you need bugs and stuff as part of your diet, and I only do it to stir you.”
“Stir me?”
“Make fun of you. At first, I found it gross because they were alive, but I’m used to it.” He shrugged. “As long as you don’t put them on my food, we’ll be fine.”
“I wouldn’t dream of wasting them on you. You don’t appreciate them.”
Cole laughed. “I really don’t. So you think it went okay?”
“I believe so.”
“Good. I didn’t want to make things uncomfortable for you.”
Instead, things were uncomfortable for both of them, though for different reasons. What was going to happen next year when he arrived without Cole?
Did he lie and say he was at home working? Or did he ask Cole to come with him if Cole enjoyed himself this time? At the same time, there was a gnawing worry in his gut that Cole might find another monster he liked better at solstice.
Then what would he do?
He didn’t want to imagine not visiting the cabin and sitting near the fire watching the stars come out, or on the deck watching the sunrise, or lying in bed ignoring the rest of the world because Cole was consuming every thought.
If Cole were a harpy or another monster, he would not be tying himself in ever-tightening knots. He glanced at his hands. He was no better than the most bigoted monster at breakfast that morning.
“You didn’t. You were perfect.”
Cole took his gaze off the road and grinned. “Thank you…but why are you being so nice?”
Akai put his hand over his heart. “I am always delightful.”
“Delightful…but not always nice.”
“How are they not the same?”
“I look forward to seeing you, even if you’re being a dick.”
“Wow…” He was about to mention that Cole was the one who’d shot him, but bringing that up again was probably exactly what he meant.
Then he wanted to make a quip about how much Cole liked his dick, but that reduced what he felt, and what he hoped Cole was feeling, to sex.
“There were times I was worried that you wouldn’t return to the cabin. ”
“I worried that you wouldn’t be there.”
Akai didn’t know what to say to that. It felt dangerous to admit that there was more than sex, tangled fates, and a blood debt between them. That he enjoyed pretending Cole was his mate and had found it far too easy to imagine him climbing up into his nest via a rope ladder.
“I enjoyed being your mate this morning,” Cole added. “And it was the first time we were able to be seen together.
His heart thudded against his ribs. “I enjoyed it too.” And if they both enjoyed it, that was a good thing, wasn’t it? “But we can only be seen together around monsters.”
Cole nodded. “I think that’s why I’m looking forward to solstice.”
“Because we can be seen together?”
“Yes…why is that so hard to believe?”
“I am used to having you to myself.” There was a part of him that didn’t want to share Cole with anyone because they looked and they judged.
“You don’t want to be seen with me?” Cole joked.
Akai leaned forward and draped his arms around Cole’s shoulder. “I do want to be seen with you.”
“Good. Even though I need to hide it from my family and friends for obvious reasons, if we also had to hide it from monsters, it would be impossible.”
Akai kissed his temple. “There is no way for this not to be a secret in the human world.”
Cole had already risked his job for him, and it was too much to ask him to give up everything to be his mate. So he wouldn’t ask, even though Akai liked the idea far too much.