Chapter 14
Gaby closed the front door behind her and let out a slow breath. There had been a moment as she was saying goodbye to Peter outside on the pavement when their eyes had met, the world had seemed to vanish and she thought he was about to kiss her.
Or was that just the wine talking?
It would’ve been nice to kiss him.
She shut down the crazy thought as she slipped out of her coat. She’d simply let the wine and the moonlight get to her.
Peter hadn’t been about to kiss her. Not without warning, not without being sure it was what she wanted too.
Her mind time-travelled back to the summer they’d spent together, back to the moment of their first kiss.
A warm, balmy night filled with starlight, the two of them wandering the riverside path hand-in-hand, talking and laughing and sharing secrets, and Peter stopping suddenly, his eyes filled with desire as he pulled her closer and pressed his lips to hers in a kiss that blew her world apart.
The thrilling surprise of it, the sweet joy of wrapping her arms around him, every second exquisite and perfect.
Gaby could still feel that kiss deep down inside her soul.
And because of that, a new question raced through her mind.
If they’d kissed tonight, would it have blown her world apart just like that first kiss had done all those years ago?
“Madness,” Gaby muttered to herself. “Complete madness.”
In the living room, she found her Aunt Jill cosy in her armchair and reading a book while music played in the background. Her aunt gave her a puzzled look.
“Were you talking to someone just then?” she asked.
Only to myself and only because I’ve lost my mind, Gaby thought.
“No,” she said instead and smiled as she sank into the sofa. “Just chuntering to myself about how nice it is to get out of the cold.”
“How was your evening with Peter?” Jill asked. “And what about your talk at the school? Did it all go well?”
“The talk went okay and I think the kids enjoyed it. The other speakers were brilliant and the kids were switched on and had loads of great questions. I’m glad it’s over with, though. I was nervous about it all.”
“And dinner was nice?”
“It was wonderful. Everything was delicious and I’m stuffed full. Peter knows the restaurant owner and he took good care of us. He even gave us complimentary petit four with our coffee, which was the last thing I needed as I’d inhaled the tiramisu I ordered for dessert.”
“I’m glad you had a good meal. And you enjoyed your time with Peter?”
“Of course. It’s been nice catching up with him.
” Gaby fussed with a sofa cushion before speaking again.
“We ran into Peter’s parents on our way home from the restaurant.
They invited me to family dinner at their house on Thursday.
Peter’s mother wouldn’t take no for an answer.
I said yes but, well, now that I think about it, maybe I should cancel and say I can’t make it.
I did come here to spend time with you, after all. ”
“Don’t cancel. In fact, the timing is perfect.
While you were out this evening, I chatted on the phone with one of my friends from my walking club and she’s arranged a nice dinner on Thursday evening to get me out of the house.
I’m starting to go a little stir crazy cooped up here at home and my friend realised that.
She’ll come and pick me up and bring me home again and she’s invited a few other walking club members along too.
I’d hoped you wouldn’t mind spending the evening by yourself, but if you now have a dinner invitation of your own then I don’t have to worry about abandoning you. ”
Gaby smiled. “I’m glad you’ve got so many lovely friends rallying around you.
And it stands to reason you’ll be fed up stuck in the house by now.
It’s a great idea to get out for a few hours and have a change of scenery, especially somewhere you’ll feel secure and won’t have to worry about anyone bumping your knee while it’s still healing. ”
“My thoughts exactly. And it also means you can keep your dinner invitation with Peter’s parents. I’m sure they’ll love spending some time with you.”
“Hmm.”
Jill’s gaze narrowed. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. It’s just that…” She sighed and looked at her aunt before she spoke, wanting to see her reaction to what she was about to say. “I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to keep spending time with Peter like this. I’ll be leaving next week and…”
“And?”
“And it feels like we’re both dancing around something between us, something that could never happen.”
Jill’s expression barely changed, just the tiniest smile lifting her mouth. “And this thing you say you’re both dancing around, if it did happen, would it be so terrible?”
“You mean, if we moved from two friends just catching up to two people having a fling, then yes, I think that might be pretty terrible.”
Jill laughed. “Yes, flings are known to be absolutely gruesome. It’s a wonder so many people indulge in them so readily.”
“Aunt Jill! You know what I mean.”
“I’m not sure I do. Why don’t you explain it to me.”
Jill’s warmly amused expression only made Gaby feel more foolish about all this. Did she even know how to explain it?
“Peter and I were kids when we were together that summer all those years ago,” she began. “I have such lovely memories of the time we spent together. He was my first love and that’s something special in a woman’s life.”
“Of course it is.”
“But I hadn’t really thought much about those memories, or Peter for that matter, for a very long time before I came here to visit you.
Life moves on. There’s no denying it’s been nice catching up with Peter.
But I’ll be leaving soon. If we are both dancing around something more than simply catching up as old friends, and if we ended up taking things further, it would spoil those lovely memories I have from before. ”
“Why would it spoil them?”
Gaby shrugged, frustrated because she obviously wasn’t explaining this properly.
“Because we were kids back then and we had that whole summer together. Now we’re adults and I’m leaving in less than a week.
Getting involved casually just because we find each other attractive and want to scratch an itch would feel… temporary and cheap.”
Jill looked thoughtful. “I understand where you’re coming from and what you’re saying. But let me put this question to you. While you’re travelling from place to place for work, you get involved with men you find attractive, don’t you?”
“Well, yes.”
“And you get involved with men whose company you enjoy despite the fact that you know you’ll move on at some point in the short-term.”
“Yes, that’s also true.”
“And yet those short-term relationships don’t feel cheap to you, do they?”
“Of course not.” Gaby would never get involved with a man or with a romantic situation that made her feel that way. “We both go in with our eyes open, we enjoy the time we have together and have fun, and then we move on.”
“But you can’t apply that same approach to Peter?”
“No, I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’d want much more than that, even though I know I can’t have it!” Gaby almost shouted.
She hadn’t meant to raise her voice or become so animated, but her aunt’s persistent questioning had hit a raw nerve.
And the look on Jill’s face said she knew that.
“In that case, it sounds very much like you have your answer already,” Jill said. “Perhaps it’s for the best if you don’t see Peter again.”
Hearing her aunt say those words and confirm what Gaby was thinking should have brought reassurance that it was the right move. Instead, it only left her feeling sad and hollow.
“Good, so you agree with me,” Gaby said, determined not to show her true feelings because that would only leave them back at the start of their fruitless discussion.
“I just want you to be happy, Gaby,” Jill said. “But for what it’s worth, I think you should still go along to dinner at Peter’s parents’ house on Thursday. It would be rude to turn down their invitation after already accepting it.”
“Perhaps you’re right,” Gaby said, unable to stop herself from clinging to the excuse that would mean one more evening with Peter, despite all the things she’d just said and all the arguments she’d made. “I’ll go to dinner and then… well, that will be that.”
Jill rose from the armchair and reached for her crutches, a wry smile on her face as if she’d understood something that remained completely elusive to Gaby.
“I think I’ll turn in for the night,” Jill said. “See you tomorrow.”
“Good night, Aunt Jill.”
After Jill shuffled out of the living room, Gaby sat for a long moment in the quiet room, thinking about what her aunt had just said. She thought about the upcoming family dinner at Peter’s parents’ house.
And she thought about Peter, even though she tried to push him out of her head.
Never before had she got so wrapped up in knots over a man.
There was something to learn from that, something… important.
Sure there is, and that lesson is that you’re making something out of nothing, Gaby told herself as she turned out the lights and went upstairs to bed.