Chapter 25
When the door opened and Peter saw Gaby standing there with her auburn hair flying wild around her shoulders and a look of utter astonishment in her eyes, he was so captivated by the sight of her that he forgot all the carefully thought out words he’d prepared before arriving.
“Uh, hi Gaby,” he said eventually. “How, er, how are you?”
“I’m good. How are you?”
“I’m also good.”
With some effort, he pulled himself together and told himself to get on with it.
“I’m sorry to just turn up like this. I know you probably just finished the shift you were working at the hotel earlier.”
“I got back about twenty minutes ago. I was about to organise dinner plans with my aunt.”
“Oh, sure. I don’t want to keep you from that, but… listen, can I come in for a minute?”
“Of course.”
She opened the door and he stepped inside and then followed her to the living room.
“Where’s your aunt?”
“She’s busy with something in her bedroom.”
So they’d be alone for a short while at least. He wanted to get through this before they were interrupted, which meant no more small talk or nervous mumbling.
“Gaby, I want to apologise for last night. I’m sorry for ruining our perfectly wonderful day together by asking for something I knew you couldn’t offer.
I wish I hadn’t done that and I wish it hadn’t made things awkward between us.
I couldn’t let you leave tomorrow without seeing you and trying to put things right. ”
Her eyes widened again and colour flushed her cheeks and Peter had to fight against the instant attraction that lit up inside him because of it. He was supposed to be here making amends, not making things worse by drooling over her.
“There’s nothing to apologise for, Peter,” she said. “We had a wonderful time together. And let’s be honest, it was always going to be difficult saying goodbye, especially after we ended up in bed together. Let’s just put it behind us.”
“I just want you to know I’m sorry. I acted like an idiot and was completely unreasonable and…” He paused and thought about what he’d just said.
Was this really what he meant? Was this really what he wanted to tell her?
Was he even being truthful?
He blew out a breath when it hit him that the carefully worded apology he’d come here to deliver wasn’t what he wanted to say at all. Smoothing things over was only possible if he hid behind the truth, and he saw no point in doing that now.
He had to be completely honest. Only then could he walk out of here and not want to kick himself.
“Gaby, I don’t really mean any of that,” he said, shaking his head.
“What I said last night wasn’t completely unreasonable.
What would’ve been completely unreasonable was if I’d spent yesterday with you, doing all the things we did together, and then just waved you off and said goodbye and acted like it was some casual hook-up. It wasn’t casual, at least not for me.”
Her green eyes were intense as she listened to what he had to say.
“It wasn’t casual for me either, Peter. I told you I loved every minute we spent together and I meant it.”
“I know. But it meant more than that to me, much more. When I asked if we could spend time together, I knew it was a risk. From the moment I set eyes on you last weekend, all I’ve thought about is how much we meant to each other back when we were kids.
And each time we got together this week, I realised how easy it would be to just fall back in love with you. And that’s exactly what happened.”
“Peter, please don’t say that,” she said, her voice pleading. “That just makes this more difficult.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to make any of this hard for you.
But I don’t want you to think we casually slept together and then I got carried away and asked you to stay without thinking about what I was saying.
I meant every word, even though I know it’s impossible.
I know you have to leave, Gaby, but I won’t pretend it isn’t killing me to see you go. ”
“Peter,” she said. “I have to go.”
“I know. You have an amazing job waiting for you and the whole world to see. I love that and I love imagining the fantastic life you’ll live out there.
But that doesn’t mean I can’t tell you the truth about how I’m feeling.
And the truth is that I’ve already fallen back in love with you.
And I wish you could stay. And before you leave, I want to make sure you know that. ”
He watched as her eyes glistened, her hands trembling as she struggled to compose herself.
“I don’t know how you expect me to respond to that, Peter.”
“I don’t expect anything. I certainly don’t expect you to tell me you feel the same way. I know you don’t.”
“But—”
“Let me just say this and then I’ll go. I love you, Gaby. I loved you when we were kids and I love you now. If you think you might ever want to come back here and find out if you could love me again one day too, I hope you’ll let me know.”
He waited for her to speak, but she only held his gaze for what seemed like forever before looking away.
“I can’t break my job contract,” she said. “And I don’t think I belong here in a place like this.”
For one fleeting moment, Peter wondered if she was saying this to convince herself more than him. But no sooner had this idea occurred to him than she was giving him a bright smile and straightening her shoulders, as if for battle.
“But what you’ve just said means the world to me, Peter. You’ve blown me away. Thank you.”
And then she was moving towards him and pulling him into a hug—a cheerful hug, like the kind you’d give an old friend or a favourite family member. The ache of it almost knocked Peter back on his heels.
But what else had he expected? Opening his heart the way he had could only ever result in exactly this outcome. Gaby had never hidden the fact that she was only passing through. He’d come here wanting to smooth things over and instead he’d told her he loved her.
Told her to get in touch if she decided she’d quite like to love him too.
Had he really said that? Yes, he had, every single word of it.
He should’ve felt completely humiliated, but he didn’t. Instead, he felt relieved—relieved that he’d told her the truth. At least now once she was gone, he’d know he’d left nothing unsaid.
And so he hugged her back because he’d meant it when he said he didn’t want things feeling awkward between them.
He’d thrown a hand grenade into the middle of his plan in coming here in the first place, and he knew in his heart that after what he’d just said he’d almost certainly never see Gaby again.
Which meant a hug and a smile was needed before he left.
The hug almost killed him. The smile nearly cracked his face in two. But he managed both and then turned for the door.
He said goodbye and walked out of the house and waved as he stepped through the gate.
Gaby waved back.
He walked to his car. Got inside. Started the engine. Waved again as he pulled out into the road and drove away.
He glanced in his mirror to see her vanishing from sight behind him as he turned off Foxglove Street.
And then he just kept driving because that was the only way to stop himself from falling apart.