Mabel
Two months later
The starlings came back. Cliff and I had seen them for the first time a few weeks ago, while we were revising on the banks of the Cam.
For a moment I’d thought the spring sky was clouding over, but when I looked up, I realised the shadows speckling my notes were something else.
Countless birds, flying in extravagant formations across the blue.
In that moment I had understood why the League of Starlings had chosen that name.
Not because they were the most talented mimics.
Individually, the black dots in the sky were nothing special, but together they formed an impressive and powerful work of art.
Cliff had watched them, too, until they disappeared from sight beyond the college walls. He’d said nothing, but from the way his lips narrowed, I could tell he, too, thought it might be a bad omen.
It had been almost two months since I’d destroyed the artefact, and every day of them we’d been expecting delegates from the council to show up and ask questions.
So far, nothing had happened. Norah had said she’d try to buy us time, but we knew it couldn’t last. Just like the real starlings, returning a hundred-fold with the advent of spring, the members of the League would eventually return to find out what had happened.
And the trail would lead them to us. No matter what Norah had told them, no matter whether Ashton covered for us or denounced us. Sooner or later, they would come.
I wanted to say I wasn’t afraid, but unlike the birds in my room, which I now knew Victor had put there, these Starlings could be dangerous.
For me, and for Cliff. It probably didn’t say much for my survival instincts that I was more worried about him than about myself.
And I was pretty sure Cliff felt the exact inverse.
The day we first saw the birds, he asked me if I wanted to go travelling with him during the Easter break.
There are some places I’d like to show you, he had told me as we lay in bed together.
It was one of those warm, languid moments when our eyes were shut and we were naked, inside and out, while the world beyond – the sounds of rain and the dull yellow beam of headlights – passed us by outside, crossing through our own dark quiet.
I still wasn’t keen on him buying me things I couldn’t afford, but I couldn’t bring myself to say no.
Perhaps because I knew he, too, was trying to outrun his fear of the future, at least for a little while.
Or because I knew now that our future together was going to be a lot shorter than I’d wanted.
So I agreed, and now here I was a few weeks later, standing in my room with my bags packed, gazing out of the window. No starlings in the sky, only a magpie perched on a tree in the court, polishing its feathers. If bad omens existed, there had to be good ones too, surely?
I smiled as I saw a figure slip behind the reflection of my own face, and I turned around.
Zoe had just walked into my room. Her hair was intricately braided, and her lids gleamed as golden as her enormous hoop earrings and her eyes.
No more poorly concealed dark circles, no bitter twist to her lips, no distracted sheen in her cornflower-blue eyes.
Having Zoe back, really back, reminded me every day why it had all been worth it.
‘Shouldn’t you be on your way by now, my little globetrotter?’ The teasing note in her voice was gentle: Zoe was almost more delighted than I was that I was finally spending a holiday away from college.
‘Almost. How about you? Are you going home?’
‘No. Home isn’t … it isn’t the greatest for a holiday.’
I gave her a worried look. ‘Why, what’s wrong?’
Zoe shook her head, coming towards me. ‘Nothing bad, and nothing important.’
‘You sure?’ I did my best to wipe away the plastered-on smile, trying to see the truth beneath. Although Zoe had been more open lately about her family issues, she still didn’t really like to talk about it much. ‘It’s not too late to come with us. I bet the rooms we booked have a sofa bed.’
Zoe snorted. ‘Oh God, please no. I love you, but there’s no way in hell I’m coming on holiday with you and BC. It’ll make me feel even more single than I already do.’
My mouth twisted. ‘Stop calling him that.’
‘It’s the safer option. If I start calling him Cliff with you, I’m one-hundred-per-cent going to forget I’m not supposed to call him that in public.
And if I keep on calling him Blake, I have to see him flinch every time like I’ve just insulted him.
’ She sighed theatrically. ‘Your boyfriend is super complicated.’
I couldn’t help laughing. ‘I mean, you’re not wrong.
’ Hesitantly, I took her hand. ‘Speaking of complicated, have you seen Ashton recently?’ I didn’t like saying his name in front of her, but it was the only way to find out if he’d tried to get in touch.
We hadn’t spoken to him since the night he showed up at the flat, hitting Cliff with his fist and me with the truth.
Cliff said Ashton was ignoring his attempts to get in contact.
I knew it bothered him, but I still found it hard to see Ashton as anything more than a ruthless bastard.
At least Zoe and I finally agreed on that.
She smiled grimly, but I saw the muscles in her jaw tense, as if the thought of him was painful. ‘No, don’t worry. And if he ever dares come round here again, I’ll beat the shit out of his stolen arse.’
I didn’t know whether to laugh or shake my head. Zoe had taken the whole crazy truth much better than I’d expected. Obviously, she’d been pretty sceptical when I said the word supernatural, but after Cliff and I spent a few hours explaining it all to her in detail, she decided to believe us.
You’re my best friend, she had said with a shrug. If I’m not going to trust you, who can I trust?
I got the feeling it also helped that the truth finally gave her an explanation for Ashton’s confusing behaviour, and especially for why she’d felt so strange around him.
In any case, it had been enough to make it clear to her that she had to stay away from him.
I was relieved, but worry still niggled at the back of my mind.
Zoe made out like she’d put it all behind her, but I knew her well enough to see that she was hurt.
Ashton had used her for months, treating her even worse than the previous guys she’d had bad experiences with.
As if she could hear what was going through my head, she rolled her eyes and gave me a poke in the ribs. ‘Don’t look at me like that. From now on I’m going to take good care of my soul. And my heart.’
I smiled. ‘Glad to hear it. And I’m going to help you.’
‘I know you are. But first you’re going to have a lovely Easter holiday with your mystical bird boyfriend.
I guess after one hundred and eighty years he must be a fount of information as a travelling companion.
He’s almost as old as the stone circles you’re going to see.
’ She wiggled her eyebrows humorously, and again I wasn’t sure how to react.
‘It’s so weird, isn’t it?’ I said sceptically.
‘Completely,’ Zoe agreed, taking my shoulders to pull me into a deep hug.
‘This whole relationship is the craziest fucking thing you’ve ever done, probably ever will do.
Which is why I’m just so happy you’re doing it.
’ She kissed me on the cheek, then took my hand and led me towards the door.
‘Now get going, all right. Don’t waste any time. ’
I didn’t argue. I just picked up my stuff, made her promise once again to keep me updated on Davie, and left. If there was one thing I’d learnt by now, it was that each and every second was precious. And I wanted to spend as many of them as possible with Cliff. For as long as I could.
Outside, I took out Mum’s mirror and gazed into it.
My lips were a rosy pink. Soft Love. It had been my favourite shade ever since Cliff had been just Cliff.
I smiled, knowing that if the forces of the universe were real, if Mum really was looking back at me through the mirror, then she was smiling, too.
I snapped it shut, blinking in the spring sunshine. It flooded the grass with an orange tint reflected in countless windows and the pendant on my necklace. I held the flat gold bar, stroking my thumb acros the delicate engraving.
Cliff had given it to me. A few weeks ago, without any particular reason or explanation.
I had found it in my jacket pocket one evening after he picked me up from the library and walked me home.
He loved small gestures like that. Holding the door open for me, ushering me wordlessly to the side of the pavement furthest from the street, smuggling coffees into the library for me, which I drank surreptitiously in the hazy light between the dusty windows and stacks.
My everyday routine carried on as usual, of course, and Cliff made no attempt to stop it.
He fell in with my habits, keeping me company while I worked or waiting for me in the evenings when the libraries closed.
And I was careful to give myself more breaks, because I realised now that there were things that mattered to me outside of books.
Things I wanted to appreciate and enjoy.
Those brief moments were the best part of my day: even if it was just ten minutes to talk to him and see him and kiss him, and remind myself that I was allowed to do all of that now.
We weren’t a secret anymore, yet what we shared still felt immeasurably precious, special.
Worth protecting. Like the necklace he had slipped into my pocket that evening.
The pendant was about the size of my thumb, with engraving so fine that you could only read it if you turned the metal to the light: whatever our souls are made of…
I knew Wuthering Heights well enough by now to finish the quotation in my head: his and mine are the same.
I had smiled when I read it, and then cried.
The line captured so perfectly how I felt when I thought about Cliff: unmistakeably, inexplicably, unshakeably certain that we saw and understood each other.
It was the most wonderful feeling I could imagine, and at the same time the most painful, because the idea of losing him so soon was unbearable.
The thought loomed over us like a grim cloud, although I did my best to push it to the back of my mind.
I simply refused to accept that the storm brewing inside it would eventually burst and engulf us.
Nothing had happened yet. Anything was possible.
Our story had to have a better ending than Catherine’s and Heathcliff’s. It just had to.
Cliff was waiting on the road outside the college, leaning against his car. When he saw me, he pushed off it and came to meet me. The closer we got, the more his smile faded. Whatever he saw in my face, it brought a frown to his. ‘Everything all right?’
I smiled hurriedly, letting him take my bag. ‘Fine, yeah. I was just wondering how many more of these trips we could take before…’
My voice broke. Cliff hesitated a moment, then he put down my bag and drew me towards him, fingers curled into the sides of my open coat.
‘A few years is a long time.’ He kissed the freckles on my brow.
It was strange, but every time he did that, it felt like he was taking away some of their darkness and the thoughts swirling beneath. ‘Who knows what might happen.’
‘Right.’ I smiled. ‘Plenty of time to hunt down a few more mythical artefacts, for example.’
‘Pica.’ He cupped my face in his hands and pressed his forehead fleetingly to mine. He did that a lot: mostly when we disagreed about something. Which we still did, often. Especially when it came to this particular topic. ‘How many more times are we going to argue about this?’
‘I’m not arguing, I’m just saying.’ I pushed him firmly away, palm to his chest, but then immediately took his hand and led him towards the car.
It was parked underneath a blossoming-pink chestnut tree.
‘You should have figured out by now that I don’t give up.
As long as we’ve got time left, I’m not going to stop searching for a loophole. This isn’t over yet.’
Cliff sighed, reaching past me to open the passenger-side door. ‘Of course not. What we have between us is only just beginning.’ He pointed inside the car. ‘Now, get in. I want to go on holiday with my girlfriend. Like a completely ordinary person.’
I could have told him he wasn’t an ordinary person.
That because of that, I would never make peace with the idea of letting nature take its course.
His whole existence, after all, was super-natural.
But instead I kissed him lightly on the chin and got into the car.
I wasn’t going to back down, but I also didn’t want to spend every moment arguing about it.
There was still time to make him understand that I wasn’t going to just resign myself to fate.
It really wasn’t over. Our ending had yet to be written, and I had no intention of letting it be dictated to me.
We would create it for ourselves, no matter how time-consuming or exhausting it would be to find the right words.
As Cliff walked around to the other side of the car, I held the pendant in my palm again. I knew one thing for sure: whatever our souls were made of, I would give everything I had, until the very final second, to save his.