Chapter 21 #2
When they arrived, a larger than he’d expected crowd of media and coworkers surrounded Nate, patting him on the back with their congratulations and making a fuss over his return to acting.
It was invite only, but apparently the whole population of Rangiora had turned up to support the premiere and cram into the foyer of the town hall.
Someone shoved a large padded microphone in his face, pushing the crowd to the side. “Is this the relaunch of your acting career, Nate? What can we expect next from you?”
“Ah, I don’t plan on—” Nate stuttered.
“Nate, how does it feel to be back on camera?” another interviewer called out.
“Over here, Nate. Let’s get a shot of you with the director.”
Laney had warned him he’d be the central focus of the news stories, but his brain filled with mud.
Jet lag was setting in, which didn’t help, and Jess preoccupied his thoughts.
He scanned the red carpet and the entrance of the town hall, both packed shoulder-to-shoulder. Was she here somewhere in the crowd?
“This way, Nate,” Laney helpfully slipped her arm in his and guided him to a spot in front of a large board displaying marketing images for the show.
A huge light hung above the head of a press photographer and Laney held him close as they posed for photos, as if she knew he needed steading.
Nate relaxed and allowed his past media training to kick in as he posed and smiled appropriately, doing his best to look at each of the cameras in turn, so they’d get a good shot.
Smile. Pose. Smile. Pose. Certainly not his favourite part of acting.
He knew some actors lived for the attention, but it embarrassed him more than anything.
That had been one of the attractions of medicine. No cameras in his face.
The fuss and noise combined with the long flight and lack of sleep proved to be a difficult combination, and Nate began to feel disoriented again.
A glass of wine appeared in his hand and he found himself jostled into the theatre and seated in the middle, surrounded by excited, already slightly intoxicated cast members.
He craned his neck, trying to spot Jess, but in the sea of glamorous hairdos and dim lighting, it was hard to distinguish one person from another. Laney beside him squeezed his forearm. “Isn’t this exciting!”
Nate tried to match her excitement and mustered up a smile. He’d been hoping to sit with Jess for the screening, but as the theatre darkened and the screen came to life, he knew he’d be counting the minutes until it finished.
“JESS, WHY AREN’T YOU DRESSED? You’ll be late.” Poppy stood in the doorway to Jess’s bedroom.
Refusing to make eye-contact with her best friend in case the stubborn feeling in her gut turned to hot tears, Jess pulled her bedcovers higher over her pyjamas, and took another bite of hazelnut chocolate. “I’ve decided to watch reruns of Grey’s Anatomy instead.”
“What happened?” Poppy made her way to Jess’s side and lay down next to her.
“Meredith Grey nearly drowned after a ferry boat accident.”
“You know what I mean,” Poppy scowled.
Reluctantly pausing the show on her laptop, Jess sighed, flopping her arm over her face.
“I didn’t get the cottage. They rejected my offer.”
“Can’t you make another one?”
She shook her head, tears threatening to spill, and offered her friend a piece of chocolate, shovelling another into her own mouth—urging the dopamine high to hurry up and kick in and ease her heartache.
“Nope,” she mumbled through a full mouth. Who even cared about manners at this point?
“Are you sure? Can’t you—”
“I offered the maximum the bank will lend me. The real estate agent said it’s not a good time for first-home buyers.”
“I’m so sorry, babe. But there’ll be other places.”
“But it was meant for me. It’s my dream cottage.”
“I know.” Poppy leaned her head on Jess’s shoulder.
“You know…parties always cheer you up,” Poppy offered.
“Not toda—”
“And this one you get to wear an incredible outfit. I can do your hair if you like?”
“This is the new me, remember. No more party-girl.”
“Eat chocolate and mope in front of Grey’s Anatomy girl?”
“Exactly.”
Poppy sat up, staring down at Jess with a stern look. “Listen. I admire you for wanting to change. You know I do. But you know as well as I do that’s just an excuse in this case.”
“I think it’s a good excuse.”
“We’re talking about the premiere of a show you worked hard on, not some drunken rave.”
Jess groaned and curled onto her side, hiding her face in the duvet.
Her chaos-to-calm plan was failing miserably.
She’d lost the cottage. There hadn’t been any news of the job she wanted at the new Rangiora maternity hospital and if she did miraculously get it, it seemed impossible to find somewhere to live out there in this market.
And worst of all, she couldn’t stop thinking about a stupid guy who was getting married to her doppelganger. Did she really want to go to an event and spend an hour watching him on-screen in high definition?
“Is this also about Nate?” Poppy asked, rubbing Jess’s back.
“Maybe.” Jess grudgingly conceded, her voice muffled by bedding.
“Jess, look at me.” Pulling the covers down, Poppy smiled at her gently. “You’re a successful, capable, amazing woman when you’re at work. You deserve success in your personal life, too.”
“I’ve been trying, but I keep messing up and—”
“Hey, I know.” Poppy stroked Jess’s hair, comforting her. “I think you just aren’t clear about what you’re looking for in a man.”
“I’m not looking for any man at all.”
Poppy tipped her head in disbelief. “We both know that’s not true.”
“Fine.”
“So what are you looking for, Jess. What do you deserve?”
Jess sat up again and ate two more pieces of chocolate, her head spinning.
What did she deserve? Her whole life she’d watched her mother date disloyal men, men who rushed into their lives like tornados and rushed out just as quickly, leaving a mess behind.
She’d followed that same pattern. Did she deserve more?
Something more like her grandparents’ relationship? Slow, loyal, calm.
“I feel like I’m in therapy,” Jess offered Poppy more chocolate, finishing off the block together.
“Nurses make good therapists, so…” Poppy nudged her shoulder. “What do you deserve?”
“I thought I was the bossy one,” Jess leaned against her friend, considering the question and thinking again of her grandparents. “I deserve a man who is genuine and takes the time to get to know me, not just someone who falls in love with how I look.”
“Totally. You deserve someone loyal and as amazing as you are.” Poppy wrapped her arms around Jess and gave her a tight squeeze. “Nothing less for my best friend.”
“Now, come on.” Poppy jumped out of bed, retrieved the long rose-gold dress from the hook on the back of the bedroom door and held it out, running her hand longingly over the silk. “If this was my dress, I would not be letting it go to waste.”
“You’re welcome to wear it instead.”
“What? Miraculously grow my legs five inches and develop D-cups? Do you have a fairy godmother hiding under the bed for me?”
Jess sighed. It was a beautiful gown and, until the call with the real estate agent, she had been looking forward to wearing it.
“Fine,” she agreed. “But I’m not staying past midnight.”
“Cinderella never does,” Poppy said, holding out a hand to help her up. “Let’s go turn this pyjama-clad mess into a princess.”
“Thanks a lot,” Jess said, feigning offense, but accepting her friend’s hand and allowing herself to be pulled to the bathroom to get her hair and makeup sorted. If she was going, she wanted to look her best.
Not because of Nate. She’d never steal another woman’s man. He was taken, and that was that. Poppy was right, she deserved a loyal man. But she couldn’t help wanting to see him one last time.
HAVING ARRIVED LATE, the red carpet was almost clear by the time Jess walked up the town hall’s entrance. She showed her ticket and was ushered into the back of the theatre, finding a seat at the rear with some of the camera crew.
In the dark, she twisted in her seat, looking around the room. No sign of Nate. Any one of the dark-haired tuxedo-wearing silhouettes in front of her could have been him.
Music filled the small theatre, announcing the opening credits of St. Barnes Medical.
“I shot this sequence,” the woman next to her whispered, sitting up straighter, clearly proud of her camera work, and so she should be.
It was a beautifully shot sequence showing off the New Zealand rural landscape: vast yellow fields dotted with sheep, snow-tipped mountains in the distance.
She hadn’t been sure what quality the show would be and was pleased to see the professionalism of it all.
Hopefully, her amateur acting debut had been fixed up in post-production.
As she watched, all the moments on set working with the cast ran through her head. A pregnant mother panted through a contraction and Jess pictured herself just off camera, coaching her through it. She smiled in the dark, feeling proud of her own work.
A woman giggled behind her. “Bet he looks even hotter on the big screen.”
Jess’s breath caught as Nate appeared on-screen. The woman behind her whispered again to her friend, “Told you. I’d let him examine me.” They both laughed and were hushed by someone.
On screen, Nate spoke with a young couple, but Jess’s thoughts drowned him out. She was transported back to the cottage. Nate’s arms around her on the couch that night. Their bodies pressed up against each other. Pulling her close. His fingers in her hair. His bare chest. Their lips. Her pulse.
Then he was gone and the scene moved on.
Jess clutched the armrest beside her and tried to get her breath under control. That was embarrassing. Thankfully, the darkness hid her flushed cheeks.
If she reacted like that when he was on screen, how would she stay cool when he was right in front of her in person?
Once the show finished and the crowd filtered into the foyer, Jess quickly made a beeline for Laney, congratulated her, and headed for the front entrance, hoping to sneak out unnoticed.
It was unlikely Nate had come all the way from London for a local premiere, but better safe than sorry.
Clearly, she wasn’t over the guy and there was no point torturing herself.
“Jess! Wait up—”
Jess froze at the sound of the familiar voice, her lips instantly drying up with nervousness. She ran her tongue over them, tasting the unpleasantly thick lipstick Poppy had insisted on. So much for sneaking out.
His hand circled her arm and she turned slowly, unsure how her body would respond face-to-face with Nate again.
His eyes sparkled and flipped her insides into a Celtic knot, but he didn’t look like the Nate she’d fallen for.
In a tuxedo, this version was every bit the movie star.
Someone fake. A liar. A man who had misled her into thinking he was different from all the others, but he’d kissed her when he had a fiancée back home. A fiancée who looked just like her.
The remnants of lust she’d felt earlier in the theatre fell away as her hands balled into fists.
“Are you leaving already?” Nate asked. “Stay and—”
“Why?” she interrupted, her tone holding more bite than she’d expected. The anger was a surprise, but also a comfort. Safer than the disappointment she’d been wallowing in all day, that’s for sure.
She’d tried so hard. Tried to start over.
To make changes. Avoid men and not be like her mother.
She’d been trying to find the peace she’d had with her grandfather as a child, and instead what did she do?
Fall for another guy who brought drama and chaos back into her life.
An actor, no less. Poppy was right. She deserved better.
Yes, she thought, locking her jaw tight; anger was a far better response.
“Do you need a stand in again for your fiancée?” she spat.
“What? No, I—” Nate stepped back, his eyebrows lifted.
“I saw a picture of Samantha and she looks like my twin.”
“Ah—” Nate dropped his hands to his sides.
She knew it. He’d seen it too. All this interest in her was just because he was on a temporary break from his fiancée. Or was the breakup a lie, too?
“When I first saw you, I actually mistook you for my ex.”
“So what is this?” she shot at him, suddenly furious. “Some kind of replacement strategy? You couldn’t have her, so you went for her doppelganger?” She stepped back and folded her arms, defensive. Protective. Tears threatened to spill, but she fought them down.
“I’m not keen on another acting role, thanks.” Her voice wavered, and she coughed to steady it; to hold on to her anger. This man would not make her cry. He would not break her heart.
“You’ve got the wrong idea. I don’t—”
“Nate, is this your fiancée?” A cameraman rushed toward them, followed by an overly made-up woman holding a pen and notebook. “Samantha, who are you wearing tonight? Can we get a photo of the two of you side-by-side?”
Jess shook her head at the reporter, her suspicions confirmed.
“No, I—” Nate looked between the reporter and Jess. “You’ve got the wrong idea,” he repeated, his eyes pleading with Jess. He stepped closer and Jess worried he might reach for her arm again. Did he think she’d hang around listening to his excuses?
“I don’t think so.” She turned and hurried down the steps as fast as her heels would let her. She knew what she deserved now, and it wasn’t Nate Mitchell.