Chapter 4
‘The biggest bad boy of them all.’
Noah stood still as Hannah’s words rang in his ears. He’d heard worse, of course. Troublemaker. No good. Unwanted. No hope. Everyone had been giving him a label since he could remember.
He had spent his childhood and some of his adult life as well trying to prove everyone wrong and that he did have something to give this world. All these years on, however, he knew that he only needed to prove it to himself, no one else.
In the awkward silence that followed his cousin’s words, Noah hesitated by the kitchen entrance.
It had been a bit of a rollercoaster time since he had arrived, what with his unexpected encounter with Beth the previous evening as well as her decision to sleep on the sofa regardless of them being total strangers.
He had woken up a short while ago upon hearing the bedroom door close with a click. Presumably that had been Beth leaving the room and he had got dressed and come downstairs, anxious to see whatever Walter had to show him and then leave as quickly as possible.
He hadn’t seen the majority of the Jackson family for many years. Since perhaps his mid-teens. They felt both familiar and yet strangers at the same time.
Finally breaking into the awkward silence, Faye, who had been standing nearby, rushed over to greet him.
‘Noah,’ she said, giving him a brief hug. ‘It’s so good to see you after such a long time. Would you like a coffee? Something to eat?’
‘Just a coffee, thanks,’ he replied, grateful for her diversion away from the stilted atmosphere in the large room.
Next up was Dotty, his great-aunt, her eyes twinkling as she looked up at him. ‘Noah, it’s great to see you again,’ she told him, before reaching up to give him a hug. ‘Do you know, you’re the spitting image of your grandfather this morning?’
‘Thank you,’ he replied, stepping back out of the embrace. Was that a compliment? He couldn’t tell. His grandad had been quite a cold person and they hadn’t had a particularly close relationship.
Ben got up from the table and walked across the room, stretching his hand out in welcome.
‘Hi. Good to see you,’ he said, with a nod, although Noah noted that the smile didn’t reach as far as his cousin’s eyes.
Noah took the proffered hand and shook it.
He knew Ben was the fortunate grandson. After the death of his father, Ben had apparently taken over the running of the hotel.
It had been a while since they had last seen each other.
They had been rough and tumble boys early on in life.
Fighting and scrapping whenever they had met up.
Truth be told, Noah had been jealous of everything Ben had.
A warm and loving family. A permanent home.
Unconditional love. Things that Noah had never had.
Standing nearby was Hannah, looking upset. She had been the quieter of his two cousins. Always a little shy, despite having grown up so much since they had last met. Now she was an attractive woman in her early thirties and yet she had tears glittering in her eyes as she looked at him.
‘Oh, Noah,’ she said, with a half a sob. ‘I’m so sorry that you heard me say such a terrible thing. How awful. And we haven’t seen each other for so long either. I didn’t mean it, of course.’
Noah felt sorry for her, such was the level of her upset. She was wringing her hands together, looking stressed. ‘It’s okay,’ he told her, with a soft smile. ‘To be honest, I’m not surprised you felt that way. After all, I did cut the hair off your Barbie.’
She sniffed and gave a little laugh, looking a little less strained. ‘I’d forgotten about that! You said it would grow back,’ she reminded him.
‘And did it?’ asked Noah gently.
Hannah shook her head. ‘No, but it did teach me not to ask any more boys if they wanted to play with my dolls.’
‘You talked to boys before you met me?’ asked a large man who had been standing next to Hannah in a protective manner, grinning down at her.
‘Not many,’ said Hannah with a smile. ‘Noah, this is my boyfriend, Alex.’
‘Hi,’ said Alex, holding out his hand for Noah to take.
It was a bone-crushing handshake and Noah hoped his fingers were still intact when they were released. It was a familiar reaction that he was used to. Most men seemed to perceive him as the enemy and he had no inclination to change their pre-conceived perception of him.
‘And this is Tiny,’ said Alex, nodding at the huge black dog who had just wandered over to see what the fuss was about.
‘Tiny?’ repeated Noah in surprise. The dog was absolutely enormous.
‘I know,’ grinned Alex. ‘But it wasn’t my idea, believe me.’
‘I’m Frankie,’ announced a woman in her late fifties stepping forward next to shake his hand. ‘Happy to hear that I’m not the only disreputable soul around here.’
‘Is that everyone?’ asked Dotty, looking around.
‘Not quite,’ said Lily in a pointed tone.
‘Last and by no means least, this is my girlfriend Lily,’ said Ben, putting his arm around Lily’s shoulders. ‘We run the hotel together.’
‘With a bit of help from the rest of us,’ added Hannah, with a grin.
They were a solid unit, thought Noah. Gentle jokes. Teasing. Comfortable. Love. A family. He had never felt more of an outsider.
Faye handed him a large mug of coffee. ‘Are you sure you don’t want anything to eat, Noah?’ she asked. ‘Hannah’s made breakfast muffins.’
‘My sister might be rubbish at who she chooses to play dolls with but she’s a great baker,’ said Ben with a sound of pride in his voice.
‘Thanks but I’m okay,’ replied Noah.
Finally, his eyes rested on his roommate the previous night.
Out of her pyjamas and dressed in normal clothes, Beth still looked anything but average.
Her long legs were emphasised by the short miniskirt she was wearing and he had to force himself not to stare as she got up from the table and headed across the kitchen towards him.
‘Good morning,’ she said with a smile. ‘Noah, could you please tell everyone that our room share was entirely sex-free.’
Noah had just begun to sip his coffee and choked a little on his drink at her words.
‘For some reason, they don’t believe me,’ she carried on.
Noah finally swallowed the scalding hot liquid and nodded. ‘It was just a mix-up with the rooms. Nothing else,’ he croaked, his throat still burning.
‘See?’ Beth did a palms up as she turned to face the family. ‘Mind you, I’m not sure whether I should be flattered or affronted that they felt that way.’ She turned to look at Noah with dark eyes. ‘What do you think?’
He was quickly learning that Beth seemed to voice everything that went into her head and was still struggling to keep up.
‘I think we just tell the truth and leave it at that,’ he told her, hoping that ended the awkward conversation.
‘I heartily agree,’ said Walter, standing up at the head of the table. ‘Well, if you’re all done embarrassing our guest, I’m going to take him outside and show him the lake.’
Noah felt grateful for his uncle’s intervention. It was a messy, chaotic kitchen full of different personalities of all ages and he had never felt more uncomfortable in the presence of so many people crammed into a family home.
He had lived modestly by himself for all of his adult life. For the past year, he had rented a static caravan on the outskirts of Brighton where he had been working at a boatyard on a substantial project. He preferred a quiet life with no awkward questions and nobody to bother him.
And yet, as he followed Walter out of the kitchen, he found himself slightly wistful at the happy family atmosphere. But despite what Walter had said at the funeral, the Jacksons weren’t his own family. Not really. And it would be better for all concerned that he left as soon as he could.