Chapter 37
After Noah had eaten his biscuit, Beth was just thinking how relaxing it was watching him work on the boat when she glanced over to the nearby workbench and saw a mouse scuttling across the surface.
She leapt up from the stool she had been sitting on with a shriek.
Noah jumped. ‘What’s the matter?’ he asked, rushing across to her.
‘Mouse!’ she shouted, pointing at the offending small animal.
He looked at her in amazement. ‘How can someone as bright as you be scared of something that small?’ he asked.
‘I know,’ she told him, shuffling so Noah was between her and the mouse. ‘It’s very frustrating and not logical at all.’
‘It’s not even that big,’ he said, smiling back at her. ‘I think it’s a dormouse.’
‘It’s plenty big enough,’ she told him, backing away from the bench. ‘I tell myself that the fact they communicate through ultrasonic sound is pretty amazing.’ She wrapped her arms around her body. ‘But mostly I hate that they move so fast.’
She shuddered, watching warily as Noah ushered the mouse away from the workbench where it disappeared into one of the many dark corners.
‘All gone,’ he told her. His grin lit up his handsome face and she couldn’t help but smile in return.
‘You deserve another cookie for that,’ she said, going over to take one from the napkin for him.
As Noah went over to the boat once more, Beth joined him to look up at the giant struts of wood that ran the length of the large boat.
She reached out to stroke one plank. ‘What was it about boatmaking that attracted you in the first place?’ she asked.
He took his time to reply, finishing his cookie before speaking.
‘I guess it’s the sense of accomplishment from creating something from nothing,’ he told her.
He reached up to place his hand next to hers.
‘See this piece of wood? That’s come from a mighty cedar tree and has now become part of this boat that will hopefully be used for many years to come. ’
‘So it’s the longevity that interested you?’ she asked.
He dropped his hand. ‘I guess it was the feeling of making something that would last.’ He appeared to hesitate before carrying on.
‘Everything was such a mess growing up, so disruptive. I think that’s why it’s so satisfying to work on something like this.
Something steady that could be kept and remain the same. ’
‘So perhaps it was even therapeutic,’ Beth told him.
‘Perhaps,’ he replied, nodding thoughtfully.
‘I think maybe the stars were the same for me,’ she said. ‘Like you, I was looking for something constant, something to rely on. After all, we’ve both been let down by the very people that we should have been able to depend on.’
He flicked a look at her warily. She knew that he wasn’t used to talking about himself. She had only been able to piece together about how bad his childhood had been from talking to the family when he hadn’t been around.
‘We’re not so different, you know,’ she murmured. ‘But where I came out of a bad childhood determined to find true love, you’ve ceased to believe it even exists. Maybe that’s why we’re both so bad at relationships.’
He gave a start. ‘How do you know about my past relationships?’ he asked, raising his eyebrows at her.
‘I’m bright, remember?’ she told him. ‘I can guess stuff correctly.’
He looked at her with his dark eyes for a long time before finally speaking. ‘When you’ve been let down over and over, it’s easier not to trust anyone.’
She nodded. ‘I understand,’ she said, softly. ‘I don’t agree that it’s healthy but I can see why you might want to think that way.’
‘What about your past relationships?’ he asked.
‘Disastrous,’ she admitted. ‘I probably trusted the wrong people which is just as bad as trusting no one. But, to be truthful, none of my many ex-boyfriends were the special, can’t live without that person, that best friend that so many people talk about.
None.’ She shook her head before looking up at him. ‘You probably think I’m a lunatic.’
‘That wasn’t what I was thinking at all.’
She couldn’t read his eyes in the shadow of the boat.
‘I think you’re very special to stay so positive,’ he carried on. ‘I’m not sure when I gave up hope of a happy, normal life. Probably when Mum walked out on us both.’
She held her breath, realising how big a deal it was for him to talk about the deeply personal hurt from his childhood.
‘Maybe Dad gave up as well,’ he said. ‘Perhaps that’s why we had to move around so much. Maybe he was running from all that pain, just like me.’
Beth looked at Noah. He seemed to have been given the message early on in his life that love didn’t exist, between parents, between family, between anyone. She hated to think of him continuing that sadness into his adult life as well. He deserved so much more happiness.
Noah seemed to suddenly become conscious that he had spoken out loud and blinked back to life before looking down at her.
He reached out to stroke her cheek which she suddenly realised was wet with tears.
‘You need to toughen up,’ he said, but he kept his tone gentle.
‘I’m tough,’ she told him with a sniff before brushing away another tear.
‘You’re as soft as one of Faye’s cookies,’ he replied.
She smiled. ‘Aren’t they amazing? She’s so talented.’
‘So are you,’ he told her.
Beth shook her head. ‘Not at baking. All the scientific knowledge in the world doesn’t seem to stop any cake I make ending up as flat as a pancake.’ She smiled up at him. ‘You know, I really do think that we’re superheroes, you and me, for surviving our childhoods.’
He laughed. ‘Superheroes? Aren’t they the good guys?’
The thought that he didn’t include himself in that group made her heart ache. Didn’t he know how special he was? She knew the answer, of course. Nobody had ever told him otherwise.
‘You are a good guy, Noah.’ She reached up and brushed her lips on his cheek with a soft kiss. ‘You just haven’t realised it yet.’
As she stepped back, they locked eyes. She could feel herself growing closer to him, feel them changing from being just friends into something more, something deeper.
But he didn’t want a permanent relationship and that was all she wanted, wasn’t it? So she stepped away, making a joke about seeing another mouse, and the moment was lost.