Chapter 9
Aviolent storm over the island cast strange shadows throughout the hospital.
As no surgeries were scheduled that week, Bethany was working in the emergency room, which was largely empty save for a kid with a freshly broken arm and a young mother with a baby.
It was slower than slow, maybe because everyone was inside, taking care of themselves during the storm.
Bethany finished checking on the baby, who had a moderately high fever but would be okay.
The mother was panicky, asking a thousand questions.
“I’m sorry,” she said afterward, bug-eyed and under slept.
“It’s just that his father left us a few months ago, and every time he gets sick, I panic that I’ll be alone forever after that.
That I won’t have anyone. I think about going to my mother’s in Oregon, but it feels like giving up.
I don’t know. I’m blabbering.” She burst into tears as, for once, the baby peered up at his mother as though he couldn’t fathom what was wrong.
Bethany gave the woman a list of Nantucket-based therapists and told her to take her baby home and try to get some sleep.
She watched her go, her heart in her throat.
In seven months, she’d have a baby, too—a baby who’d need Bethany more than anything.
Strangely, Bethany saw herself in the young mother’s panic.
But she knew how to hide it better, she supposed.
She returned to her office, searched the fridge for a snack, then sat down, trying not to heave with nausea. She hadn’t worked a night shift in a very long time. She hoped she’d make it through whatever chaos unfolded. She hoped—more than that—for no chaos.
Suddenly, there was a cry from the entrance to the emergency room.
“We need a gurney!” Bethany got to her feet immediately and reached for a fresh pair of gloves.
Moving like a life depended on it, as it normally did, she shot down the hallway to find two nurses helping a man of about forty-five onto a gurney.
A massive piece of glass was in his shoe, and blood dripped everywhere.
It looked like the man was unconscious. He was getting paler all the time.
Bethany went into overdrive. All her training crystallized, and she found herself barking orders and hurrying the man into an operating room.
She loved it when she became this version of herself: a doctor in charge of her environment.
A doctor who’d never been afraid of anything.
No hesitating could happen, not here, not when someone’s life hung in the balance.
Once in the operating room, she cleaned and disinfected the area around his foot, then used a combination of scissors and pliers to remove the shoe.
An anesthesiologist was called in to help.
In the midst of the chaos, one of the nurses rifled through his back pocket to find his wallet and learn his name.
It was Matteo, apparently. But Bethany didn’t need to know that just now.
Names weren’t necessary when your life hung in the balance like that.
All told, after the half-hour required to save his life, it went down in the books as a relatively routine procedure.
Bethany had seen all sorts of things stuck or sliced through bodies.
As long as the wrong things weren’t severed, the body could heal itself remarkably.
The man before her, whose foot now had a generous wrapping around it as he slept on, would make it through the night.
But because he’d lost so much blood, she wanted to make sure they kept him till morning, just in case.
She gave the man a final glance, noting that he was handsome and serious-looking when he slept. He wore no wedding ring. She always looked at that, too. She wondered if anyone loved him, if anyone was waiting to hear from him. But Gina at the front desk would surely take care of that.
Bethany headed out to scrub herself clean and finally get that snack. On the way, the nurse stopped her, pulling her mask down as she said, “The woman who brought him in wants to talk to you?”
Bethany immediately assumed the woman was Matteo’s girlfriend or maybe a daughter.
After cleaning up and changing scrubs, she went into the waiting area to find a very skinny and ill-looking woman sitting in the corner, weeping.
She looked terrified. Gina at the front desk seemed unsure what to do.
She beckoned for Bethany, telling her, “I keep trying to give her food or something, but she won’t take any of it. ”
Bethany understood: the woman was worried about Matteo. “Did she give you her name?”
“She’s not family,” Gina said timidly. “I don’t really understand how they know each other. She didn’t know his name. She couldn’t give me any details about him.” Gina raised the card the nurse had taken from Matteo’s wallet. “Good thing you found this. He’s got pretty good health insurance.”
“Amazing,” Bethany said, still distracted by the woman. Only she could explain what had happened and why she’d been able to bring Matteo in.
The waiting room was now clear, save for the woman. Bethany went over to her, preparing a smile. When she reached her, she pulled a chair closer so that they could sit facing each other. The chair squeaked on the linoleum, and the woman looked up.
“Oh,” she said. “Hello.”
Although the woman was probably her age, Bethany felt as though she were approaching a tiny, adorable, frightened creature. “Hi,” she said. “I understand you’ve had a trying day.”
“Is he awake?” The woman forced herself to sit up straight.
Bethany knew she couldn’t tell the woman anything about Matteo, not without Matteo’s consent, as they weren’t family. She hesitated. A look of understanding passed over the woman’s face.
“I know. I’ve been in countless hospitals, and I’ve seen all the hospital shows,” she said. “You can’t say anything. It’s protocol.”
“What’s your name?” Bethany asked.
The woman sniffed. “I’m Helena.”
“That’s a wonderful name. You don’t hear it often,” Bethany said.
Helena shrugged. “Kids made fun of it in school.”
“Kids make fun of everything,” Bethany said. “My kids make fun of my name, too. I guess people aren’t named Bethany anymore.”
Helena smiled. Bethany hoped that she had guessed that Matteo was fine, given the tone of their conversation. “What happened tonight?” She asked. “I heard you brought that man in?”
Helena shook her tiny head. There was a greenish tint to her skin, Bethany thought. But maybe, like Bethany, she was pregnant, or nauseous for some other reason. It was so difficult to tell what was going on in someone’s body.
“I just got to Nantucket,” Helena said. “Just moved into my new place this afternoon, actually. I was watching the storm, and I saw this sailboat out on the waves. I thought it was going to capsize. Instead, that guy back there managed to sail his way to my dock, where he tied up. He came up to my house. But there was broken glass everywhere. He stepped on it before I could warn him.”
Bethany shook her head. “What a day.”
Helena tried to laugh. “I don’t know what to do with myself.” She gestured at the streaks of Matteo’s blood on her sweats.
“You should go home! Get some rest,” Bethany said. “You probably traveled all day. Moving takes a lot out of a person.” Maybe that was why the woman looked the way she did just now?
But Helena didn’t seem keen on going anywhere. “I think I’d rather wait till he’s out.”
Bethany raised her eyebrows. “Why don’t you go home? I’ll tell him to give you a call as soon as he wakes up, if you want that.”
“No. I mean, I don’t want him to be frightened when he wakes up.” Helena looked stricken. Slowly, she got to her feet, then gripped the armrests of the chair she’d just vacated, as though she was about to fall.
“Helena? Do you want something? Maybe some water?” Bethany stood to help Helena steady herself.
But before Helena could answer, her eyes widened, showing their whites, and Helena fell to the ground, sprawling out beneath Bethany.
Bethany called over to Gina, telling her to call the nurses and the other medics.
As they gathered, preparing to put Bethany on a gurney of her own, Bethany tried to guess what was wrong.
Malnutrition? Maybe? But there was something else about it she couldn’t put her finger on.
She went through the encyclopedia of her medical mind and found no conclusion.
But as the wheels of the gurney clattered beneath her, Helena woke up and shot upright. “No!” she called. “No! Don’t do this. Let me off.”
The nurses stopped wheeling the gurney. Helena flailed around, looking for Bethany. When she found her, she said, “Please, Bethany. I can’t go back there. Don’t put me in a bed. Don’t hook me up to anything.”
Bethany couldn’t fathom this. She stepped closer to the strange woman, bowing her head as she said, “We want to monitor you. You fainted. That isn’t normal.”
“It is for me,” Helena said. “Trust me when I say, nothing about this is different for me. I know what I’m doing.
And I can’t be brought back there. I can’t be given a bed.
” Helena turned to slide off the gurney and walk toward the wall.
“I won’t pay for that,” she mumbled under her breath.
“I didn’t ask for it, and I didn’t need it. ”
Although it felt against her better judgment, Bethany waved the gurney away.
When the nurses and medics were gone, she walked over to where Helena was seated again, squeezing her knees as though that would keep her upright.
As though she wouldn’t let herself faint again.
But it seemed clear to Bethany that this woman had very little control over anything.
Why was she by herself?
Was she sick?
Bethany hesitated before she approached her again, then went over and sat beside her, facing the same direction. For a few seconds, they sat like that, without speaking. And then Bethany said, “I would really like to hook you up to an IV or something. Help you get your energy up.”
Helena shook her head.
Bethany sighed. “Why are you refusing treatment?”
“Because,” Helena said. “I can’t afford it. I don’t have insurance. And it doesn’t matter. I already know what’s going to happen to me down the line.”
Bethany rubbed her forehead. She hated health insurance plans.
She hated how they boxed people in and forced them to make horrible decisions when it came to their health.
But with Gina on duty and with hospital rules in place, Bethany’s hands were tied.
Besides, it was clear that Helena didn’t want help. She wanted to be left alone.
“Please, Bethany,” Helena said. “I just want to sit here and wait till he wakes up.”
Finally, Bethany stood, went to the nearby vending machine, and gestured. “Can I get you something? I could have one of the staff run out to the grocery store to pick you up something?”
Helena shook her head. “I can get something from the machine if I need it.” With that, Helena burrowed herself into her phone, pretending that Bethany didn’t exist.
Again, Bethany was reminded of her teenage children.
Back in her office, Bethany and Gina had a brief powwow about Matteo.
“He’s divorced. No family available to reach out to,” Gina said. “Does that woman know anything?”
“I don’t think so,” Bethany said. “But he’s going to be fine. He can take care of himself when he wakes up tomorrow.” She opened the fridge and felt another wave of nausea crash through her. “I really don’t want that woman to stay here all night.”
Helena wouldn’t listen to reason. She didn’t know what was best for her.
All night, Bethany walked up and down the hallway, receiving patients and glancing back to see that Helena was still in the waiting room.
She was mostly asleep, her head at a strange angle.
Bethany’s heart went out to her. Eventually, when she was sure the woman wouldn’t notice, she brought out a big bottle of water and a Tupperware of fresh fruit and set them on the chair beside Helena.
When she walked past again at around five fifteen in the morning, she saw that some of the strawberries had been eaten.
But Bethany felt a pang of dread. The woman needed calories.
She needed nutrients. Strawberries weren’t enough.
Bethany was meant to leave work at six thirty.
She’d planned a day of sleep and complete, total relaxation for herself.
Phoebe had theater camp all day. Maddie and Tommy were busy at the pool, and Rod had to work.
But when six thirty came, Bethany paused in her office, wondering if she could leave without learning what was going on with Helena. She couldn’t get her out of her head.
It was then, miraculously, that one of the nurses came in to tell Bethany that Matteo had woken up. “He’s groggy but okay,” the nurse said before speeding off to take care of something else.
Before leaving, Bethany decided to go in and say hello to Matteo. She liked to be the one to tell her patient what she’d done to them, specifically, so that they understood what was happening to and in their bodies. She didn’t want to leave anyone in the dark.
Matteo was propped up in bed, watching television and drinking a glass of water. He was even more handsome now that he was alert. His bandage was still clean, a good sign, and his color was returning. He hadn’t needed any additional blood.
“Morning!” Matteo said. “Are you the doctor who saved my life?”
Bethany smiled. “I wouldn’t have had the chance if you didn’t have a guardian angel watching over you.”
Matteo cocked his head. And then, his jaw dropped, as though Helena had just occurred to him.
Flustered, he said, “There was a storm! I remember just barely making it to shore. I ran up to that little house. It has to be the smallest house on Nantucket. Jeez, there are big houses around here. And there was a woman? A woman in the window?” He blinked and blinked, as though bringing the memory to his mind’s eye.
“She’s still here,” Bethany said finally. “I tried to get her to leave, but she refused. She wanted to make sure you were all right.”
Matteo’s eyes widened. “How long have I been here? Just one night, I hope?”
“Just one night,” Bethany confirmed.
Matteo thought for a long time, his dark eyes shining in the morning light. Bethany stifled a yawn. She needed sleep more than anything. But she couldn’t pull herself away just yet.
“Can I see her?” Matteo asked.
Bethany smiled. “In a bit. Let me walk you through your procedure first.”
“First, health,” Matteo said, although he seemed distracted. His eyes traced a line to the door, as though he hoped the strange woman from the window would return.