Chapter 12
It was the beginning of July, and nearly a month since Bethany had told her kids about her pregnancy.
Since then, there had been a coldness between her and her three children, a vacuousness that meant they would not forgive her easily for changing their lives so abruptly.
They thought she was reckless. They thought she wasn’t thinking about her health or their future.
Bethany struggled with this. She spoke to her mother about it on a never-ending loop, with Esme reminding her, often, that all her own kids had “left the island and hardly called” for years—all in the wake of Victor’s affair and Joel’s death.
“Kids have their own ways of working things out,” Esme told her. “You have to trust that your love for them won’t fade. Theirs for you won’t fade, either. It’s just complicated.”
Meanwhile, Rod was falling deeper and deeper in love with the baby.
He whispered to her mostly flat stomach nightly, telling the baby what they would get up to after birth, all the wonderful and adventurous things they’d do together.
“We thought it would just be the two of us, but it’ll be three of us,” he said.
Although Rod said he didn’t care what the gender was, Bethany knew that he hoped for a boy.
She sort of hoped for a boy, too. But mostly, she prayed for health, for an easy pregnancy, for continued growth, for fewer nausea spells. Now that she was about to enter her second trimester, she was counting on that.
On July 2nd, Bethany returned from the hospital after a difficult surgery.
It was ten at night, and all her kids were home, playing video games or reading.
Rod was fast asleep, as he’d gotten up very early for work.
Bethany said good night to her grumpy children, then collapsed in bed, where she proceeded to have the most monstrous nightmares she’d ever had.
Most of them had to do with the baby, with how panicked she was about the future.
Finally, she woke up at midnight, gasping for breath. Rod was still sleeping. She took deep breaths, trying to calm her panicked mind and pull herself back into REM.
But that was when she heard someone crying down the hall. She knew in an instant that it was Maddie, her beautiful, vivacious, and terrifying daughter.
Slowly, Bethany got out of bed and tiptoed down the hallway.
Maddie’s light was still on, and it sounded like she was on the phone.
She was crying to someone, begging them.
It sounded like Maddie was trying to negotiate for her life.
Bethany put her hand on the doorway, her brow furrowed as she tried to make sense of what was going on.
“Please, let me explain,” Maddie said to whoever was on the other line.
Bethany couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t handle hearing her daughter so heartbroken. She raised her knuckles to the door and knocked, gently, gently, until Maddie cried out, “What?”
“You need to get some sleep, honey,” Bethany said.
Maddie groaned. “I have to go,” she said to whoever it was. “Text me? Please?”
When it was clear that Maddie was off the phone, Bethany knocked and opened it when Maddie said it was okay.
She found Maddie in a sniffling heap on her bed, her eyes red.
Hiccups made her chest bounce. Bethany couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen Maddie like this.
Maybe ten years ago? It broke Bethany. She wondered whether Maddie was upset about the pregnancy. Or was it something else?
“Honey, are you all right?” Bethany asked gently.
Maddie threw herself back on the bed and howled with sorrow. “I’m fine!”
Bethany came into the room and closed the door behind her. She sat beside her daughter and scooped Maddie’s hair behind her ears. “My beautiful girl,” she breathed, overwhelmed. “What’s going on, huh? Why won’t you tell me?”
Maddie inhaled deeply, then hiccupped. “You wouldn’t get it.”
She sounded like a cartoon version of a teenager.
“Why don’t you try me?” Bethany said. “I’ve been through more than you think.”
Maddie pressed her hands over her eyes and remained quiet for a little while. Bethany bided her time. She was grateful that Maddie had let her come into her room at all, given how icy it had been between them the past month.
“My boyfriend cheated on me,” Maddie said finally.
Bethany’s ears rang with alarm. She hadn’t even known that Maddie had a boyfriend! What else had she missed out on?
“Did you break up with him?” Bethany asked.
“No. You don’t understand. We’re in love. It was a big mistake, I think. I guess.”
Bethany hated to hear how society had already dug its way through Maddie’s mind. She was too young not to completely abandon people who betrayed her.
“Okay. I think you need to back up and tell me the whole story,” Bethany said. “Otherwise, I’ll get it all wrong.”
Maddie pulled herself up and wrapped herself in a ball, her back against the wall by her bed. “He’s another lifeguard. Johnny. He’s a senior, or he will be a senior. He’s the reason that Tommy and I got the jobs in the first place.”
“How long have you been together?” Bethany asked.
“Four months,” Maddie said. She said it so seriously that Bethany understood this felt like a long time to her. “And we’ve been so happy. Seriously. We talked about getting married.”
Bethany told herself not to make a face.
“Tommy was the one who figured out he was cheating on me,” Maddie said.
“He told me tonight, so I called Johnny right away to figure out what was going on. But Johnny told me he isn’t sure we’re happy together.
Like, he isn’t sure we have a future?” Her cheeks grew redder and redder, as though she were about to explode with tears again.
“And I have to work tomorrow! I don’t want to work tomorrow! ”
“You aren’t going to work tomorrow,” Bethany said kindly. “You’re going to call in sick, and we’re going to spend the entire day doing something fun.”
Maddie blinked at her mother as though she’d never seen her before.
But Bethany realized this was a way to mend her relationship not only with Maddie but with the other two.
She’d call in sick to work. She’d rearrange things.
She’d take them sailing, show them that her love was infinite, that nothing would change.
“I can’t call in sick,” Maddie said. “Johnny needs me to work.”
“Johnny can figure something out,” Bethany said firmly. “Johnny doesn’t get everything he wants.”
Maddie offered Bethany the first smile of the night. It lit up Bethany’s soul.
It was the day before the Fourth of July, which meant that the island was in utter chaos in preparation for the fireworks and other festivities.
Tourists swarmed everywhere, and traffic was a nightmare.
Lucky for Bethany, she kept her sailboat on the outer edge of the harbor, allowing easy parking and even easier access.
Five minutes after parking, she and her three children were prepping the boat, untying the ropes and filling the sails.
After years on the island, Bethany’s children were capable sailors.
They felt no fear on the water and instead embraced the beauty of being on the open seas.
For over an hour, they worked diligently, speaking only when they needed to exchange sailing information.
By the time they dropped anchor, they’d worked up a sweat.
Removing their clothes, under which they wore swimsuits, Bethany and her children leaped into the water and swam around the boat.
Tommy and Phoebe wore goggles and swam down below, searching for fish.
Maddie and Bethany remained floating on the surface, their eyes to the blue sky above.
Bethany could feel the cracking of Maddie’s broken heart.
Back on the boat, they opened sodas and ate their cheese and turkey sandwiches, which Rod had made for them this morning before going to work. Maddie sniffled as she ate.
“I don’t get it,” Phoebe interjected, a strawberry poised in her right hand. “Why did Johnny cheat on you?”
Maddie sniffed and gave Phoebe a look only an older sister could give a younger one.
“What?” Phoebe demanded.
“You don’t get it. You’ve never had a boyfriend,” Maddie said.
“That’s not true. I have a boyfriend right now,” Phoebe shot back.
Bethany wasn’t emotionally ready for her youngest to have a boyfriend. “Beg your pardon?”
Phoebe glared at all of them. “He’s an actor. I met him at Alana’s theater camp. He’s going to be famous. Like, seriously, I’ve never seen anyone do Hamlet like that.”
“Whatever,” Maddie said.
“Johnny cheated because he is a bad person,” Tommy said, loyal to Maddie through and through. “You should dump him, like, yesterday.”
“I love him,” Maddie cried.
“Love isn’t always enough,” Bethany offered sadly.
Her three kids looked at her, shocked. This wasn’t the narrative they’d heard via movies and books.
“Love is always enough,” Maddie said firmly.
“No,” Bethany said. “Respect has to be involved. And Johnny has shown that he doesn’t respect you. I’m sorry, honey. But you need to leave him.”
Maddie squeezed her face into a big red ball, then got up and jumped into the water. Bethany stood to watch as Maddie floated, by herself, her arms and legs out like a starfish. Her heart ached for her daughter. But what could she do but be there for her? What could she do but listen?
“I’m not quitting my job,” Tommy said under his breath. “Not because of Johnny. I need the money.”
Bethany didn’t ask Tommy what he needed the money for. “Nobody’s quitting their job,” she said. “Growing up involves facing the difficult situations and moving through them. Maddie should be able to work alongside Johnny without issue.”
Tommy looked thoughtful, but also like he didn’t believe her.
A few hours later, Bethany and her kids sailed back to the harbor, tied up the boat, and went into town to grab burgers.
It was nearly seven o’clock, and almost every swanky restaurant was fully packed, with gorgeous and well-dressed people sitting on verandas, sipping cocktails, and telling each other stories about their iconic lives.
But Bethany’s kids adored the burger shack on the opposite end of all those fancy restaurants, a place with greasy french fries and a stink that didn’t come out of your clothes very quickly.
Bethany was starving, as was her way now that she was pregnant.
She let the kids order whatever they wanted, then grabbed a chicken burger and onion rings for herself.
They sat at an outdoor table, sipping milkshakes as their food was prepared.
Maddie looked contemplative. When their french fries arrived, she dug one into her chocolate shake, then ate it slowly. “Why do people cheat, Mom?”
Bethany was surprised—and grateful—that Maddie wanted to bring Bethany deeper into the conversation. “I think people cheat for a number of reasons. Every story is different. But it’s never right. I want to be clear on that.”
Maddie let her eyes drop. Bethany searched her mind for an answer, something to calm her. But before she could find something, a man at the table behind theirs interjected.
“I think it’s usually more about the cheater than the relationship itself,” he said.
Bethany and her children turned to look at the man. Immediately, Bethany recognized him as Matteo, the man she’d operated on about a month ago, the man who’d come in with the glass in his foot. He was halfway through a juicy-looking burger, a thoughtful smile on his face.
From the looks of things, he no longer had a bandage on his foot. It had healed fast. Bethany was glad.
“What does that mean?” Maddie asked Matteo.
Matteo tapped his heart. “I think they’re trying to fill a hole they’re carrying here. Instead of doing the work on themselves, they think someone new will complete them.”
“That’s wise,” Maddie said, her finger pointed toward the sky. “I’m going to use that when I finally break up with Johnny tomorrow.”
“Do it now!” Phoebe said. “I’m tired of this idiot.”
Bethany laughed and cast Matteo a nervous look. Was he dining alone tonight?
It was then she remembered the woman who’d brought him to the hospital. Helena, the woman who’d looked so gaunt, who’d collapsed in the waiting room. Helena had declined Bethany’s offer for a free checkup. She’d said something about knowing what to expect.
When Bethany’s kids saw some friends across the road and got up to say hello, Bethany got up the nerve to turn around and talk to Matteo more directly. “I don’t know if you recognize me,” she said.
Matteo raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t at first, but I figured it out. The woman who saved me!”
“Well, not really,” Bethany said. “But I’m curious about her, as well. How is she?”
Matteo’s eyes were shadowed. “I wouldn’t know, I guess.
She took me back to her place, then made it pretty clear she wanted me to leave.
I mean, I didn’t expect anything from her.
I just felt…” He laughed at himself. “I felt like we were two lonely people in the world. I was feeling grateful that we’d found each other. But I know that’s a foolish fantasy.”
But something about this didn’t sit right with Bethany. A woman like Helena didn’t wait up all night in a hospital emergency room, only to kick the guy out the next day. Something must have happened.
“Do you ever think about calling her?” Bethany asked.
“Every day,” Matteo said. “But again, she made it clear she wants to be alone. I have to respect that.”
“I don’t know,” Bethany said, frowning. “What if respecting her solitude does her more harm than good?”
Matteo frowned. “Do you know more about her situation than you’re letting on?”
Bethany shook her head. “No. I don’t really know her at all. But I’m worried about her, I guess.”
Matteo was quiet. He didn’t know what to say.
When Bethany’s kids returned a few seconds later, he cleaned up his table and said goodbye, disappearing down the road and around the corner.
There was a slight limp to his gait, proof that he’d recently been on the operating table.
But other than that, he was a powerful figure in the world. Alone and lonely. But strong.