28. Kasten
The clock ticked loudly in the corner of my office, highlighting the silence. Lunch lay half eaten between me and Callum, both of us weary from the previous night. We’d only had a couple of hours sleep between us. The documents we were both meant to be reading were scattered haphazardly.
I ran a hand down my face, my voice coming out gruff. “I shouldn’t have shouted at her like that. I didn’t mean to upset her. And I did it twice. The second time I terrified her so badly that she fainted. Terrified of me, not the men trying to capture her—I was worse than them.”
Callum sighed, swirling his whiskey. “Most married couples have fights. I believe it’s customary in these circumstances to give a present as an apology. Chocolates or flowers or wine. Though you may have already overdone it with flowers.” He sniffed. “Or”—he drew out the word as he turned to face me—“you could give her what she really wants. Tell her what’s going on and let her help.”
I leveled him with a flat stare. “You’re joking. I will not have her life put in danger, Callum.”
He stared back into his whiskey and mumbled. “Fine, fine, shut her out and keep on acting as if everything is hopeless. It’s clearly keeping her perfectly safe.”
I gritted my teeth and dragged in a deep breath before I said something I would regret. Then something struck me. I sat forward in my chair and stared at my friend. “You’ve never wanted to let her in on anything before. Now you want her to help?”
He shrugged, not meeting my eyes. “I’ve gotten used to her being around.” He took a deep breath, indecision clear on his face. “And I actually think she might be quite useful if?—”
I thumped the table. Of course. He wanted to use her. “No. I will not involve her in treason. I will not be the cause of her death.”
Callum looked out the window and released a long breath through his teeth as if he were long-suffering and I was being unreasonable.
The clock ticked loudly on the wall.
He cleared his throat. “What are you going to tell her then, tonight at dinner?”
“I will apologize and try to be pleasant.”
Callum leaned forward and hesitated with his mouth open.
“No. Whatever it is that’s making you think twice, I don’t want to hear it.”
“I just…Kasten, don’t you think this should be Sophie’s choice? Shouldn’t she be the one who decides what she risks her life for and what she wants to be involved in?”
I shook my head and spread my hands, anger building. “But it won’t be the rational choice. She’s probably been told by her family that she must do anything to please me. Of course, she would say yes to risking her life. But that doesn’t mean she really means it.”
Callum swirled his whiskey and gentled his voice. “You didn’t die, Kasten. She’s not a widow, she’s your wife. And she’s inquisitive. This can’t go on. You’ll drive her mad. At least explain the woman from last night. You don’t have to tell her everything.”
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. In my head this had all been simple when I’d married her. I had thought Sophie would be happiest if I kept out of her life. But Callum was also right, and I did want to respect her choices. Our arguments were only going to get worse if we continued like this.
Ah, this was a mess.
And worse, whichever option I took, Sophie would still be in danger. Maybe I should have never married her.
A tentative knock startled me from my musings. “Come in.”
The door opened slowly, and I was surprised to see Sophie stick her head around the frame. She wore a pale blue dress with a broad ribbon of the same color tying back her pale hair. She showed no signs of illness. Her cheeks had a healthy flush, and her eyes were as round and bright as usual.
I stood up so abruptly, I knocked over my chair. “Sophie.” She’d never come to my office before. Did she want an apology? Or to cancel dinner?
She cleared her throat with a shy, practiced smile that didn’t reach her eyes and held up a small bag. “Your stitches need to come out today, Kasten. I thought I could do it myself rather than bother the physician again after last night.”
I hesitated, suspicious. How could she go from yelling at me then fainting in fright to…this?
I nodded and shrugged off my jacket before undoing the buttons of my shirt. Callum perched on the edge of his seat as if he wasn’t sure whether to go or stay. He glanced at my face and a mischievous grin started to form. “You know, Sophie, I’ve taken out Kasten’s?—”
I glared at him. “Go, Callum. I’ll see you later.”
He grinned, flourished a ridiculous bow, and left the room.
Sophie settled herself beside me and looked everywhere except at me. My previous lack of clothing while she had bandaged me had embarrassed her before, and the determined set of her jaw when her cheeks flushed had been endearing.
I took in her delicate nose and the soft bow of her lips before looking away. I didn’t want to make her any more uncomfortable. Still, it was hard not to look straight back and watch her every movement and expression when she was so close.
How did she have such a hold over me?
She angled me in my chair before taking a pair of tiny scissors and removing the sutures one by one, carefully tugging them free. She was far gentler than Callum, though I often removed them myself when they were easily accessible. Still, if Sophie wanted to remove them, it was an easy excuse to have her close. I could smell the rose oil in her hair.
She didn’t seem scared of me anymore. But what had caused the change when she’d been terrified enough to run away from me and then faint last night?
I licked my lips, aware that my silence probably wasn’t helping us rebuild our relationship, when she was clearly trying to build some sort of bridge before dinner. “You must be tired. Do you still feel faint?”
She shook her head. “Physician Harris said I had low blood pressure, so I’m making myself a tonic to see if it improves.”
I nodded, searching for words. “That’s good.”
She nodded in agreement and wiped down the wound over my ribs before moving to the smaller one over my abdomen.
I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I shouted at you. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Her eyes stayed concentrating on the sutures. “You didn’t.”
I frowned. “You weren’t scared of me?”
“No. I was angry.” She whispered it as if it were a risky admission.
I sat back and looked across the room, a little relieved. After she’d seen me restrain that woman, violently take down three men, and shout directly at her twice, she would have had every right to be terrified.
“I will try very hard to not make you angry again. I shouldn’t have shouted at you. I’m sorry.”
Her blue eyes flicked up to mine and my breath caught. In the soft light from the window, her porcelain skin almost glowed. I clenched my fist so I wouldn’t be tempted to reach out and feel the smoothness of her cheeks.
She tilted her head. “Then tell me why that woman was dangerous and why she deserved such rough treatment. You shouted at me for dangers that you keep me ignorant of.”
My mouth dried. How had I gotten myself into this mess?
She wiped a cloth across my wound and changed scissors to remove the stitches from my shoulder, studiously ignoring my face.
She was right. Callum was right. Keeping secrets wasn’t keeping her safe. It had put her in even more danger. “I’ll tell you tonight at dinner. I’ll tell you all about her.”
She took a step back and her face lit up in a genuine smile. “Really?” When she smiled like that…I didn’t know what to do with myself.
Her smile became uncertain, and I realized I was staring at her like a fool. I looked down and started to button my shirt back up. “I promise.”
She beamed and started to pack her things away. “I’ll hold you to that.”
“Oh, and Sophie?”
She looked up.
“If I ever make you angry or upset, tell me. Don’t run away again. And I’ll try to do a better job of controlling my temper.”
“You told me to get out.”
I lowered my head toward her. “If I say that again, it means you’re in danger. Please leave the room and stay safe. But wait for me on the other side if you’re hurt by my words. Don’t run.”
She nodded and turned to go. “Thank you,” she said, just before reaching the door, “for stopping those men.”
She disappeared, leaving me tense. Now I needed to work out how exactly I was going to tell her what she was caught up in.
Sophie
I finished getting dressedfor my dinner with Kasten, but instead of feeling excited about it, as I had yesterday, the thought made my stomach twist with nerves. He’d said he would tell me about the woman, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I wanted to know everything, but I doubted his promise would stretch that far.
I swept down the staircase in an emerald gown that sparkled with crystals. It was better suited for a ball than a simple dinner with my husband, but I supposed since there were no balls in Kasomere and we rarely received any guests, there weren’t any other occasions to save it for. Beatrice had made it, and she had done an exquisite job. Lucy had piled my hair up and nestled crystal stars among the curls.
I felt overdressed, but beautiful. I hoped Kasten liked it.
My husband was waiting in the dining room, standing by the fire. He wore a smarter jacket than earlier and had shaved, but he was nowhere near as finely dressed as I. He stared at me as I entered, and I hoped he didn’t think me foolish.
He gestured to the long table without speaking and a servant held out my chair while Kasten sat at the other end, the yawning space between us quickly filled by platters of food.
Silence stretched as we selected food, and I pushed the omelet around my plate with my fork. Kasten was looking down at his own meal and chewing methodically before drinking large sips of wine.
Before last night, I’d been so excited to have Kasten’s attention for a whole meal. Now, I wasn’t sure what to think or what to say. I’d seen him restraining a screaming woman on a bed in the middle of the night, and I was supposed to open the conversation with talk about the weather or the news or his business. I just wanted him to tell me what was going on like he had promised without preamble.
The sound of porcelain and silver clinking was deafening.
I tried to think of something, anything that would get the conversation going. “Thank you for my new garden. The swamp. It really was a wonderful surprise while you were away. I’m hoping to harvest some more plants soon. And I’m growing some for Physician Harris.”
Kasten’s shoulders lowered a little. Had he been nervous about what I’d been about to say? Kasten feeling nervous about anything seemed ridiculous.
“You’re welcome. It was Tom who designed it and worked out what plants to get.” His words were careful and polite.
“He’s been very kind and is knowledgeable.”
He grunted. I took a bite of cooked tomato. And another.
Kasten frowned as if concentrating and reached for his wine. “I think what you are doing is very important, especially if we can use the plants to help our men in the campaign. Let me know if I can help in any way.”
My cheeks heated. I looked down at my food before he could notice. “Thank you.”
Again, the silence stretched.
“The woman died.”
My head shot up.
Kasten was looking into his cup. “That’s the question you really wanted to ask, isn’t it? I’m sorry I shouted for them to take you out. We tried to save her, but we failed.”
A lump built in my throat. Those screams…
I wet my lips and tried to keep my voice even. “What was wrong with her?”
“Illegal kryalcomy in Adenburg. The sort that is illegal for a good reason. Even Callum doesn’t understand what exactly has been done to these people. It’s relatively new, and it changes people into something like the soulless from Kollenstar. But they’re also different. My scouts refer to them as halfsouls.”
I frowned, looking down at my plate to try and keep my questions from seeming too intense. But my heart pounded so loudly in my ears, I worried I wouldn’t be able to hear his response. “And how did she end up here?”
“We found her in Adenburg. I have people in the city who watch out for people like her—people who have been badly damaged by kryalcomy and have turned dangerous.”
A shiver ran up my spine. “W…who is doing this?”
Kasten paused. I risked a glance at his face. His jaw had tightened, and his posture was rigid. “We believe it is Lord Lyrason.” I got the impression he knew more but wouldn’t say.
“And what is he trying to do? Why hurt that poor woman so badly?”
He fell backward in his chair and lifted his eyes to mine. “I honestly don’t know. But we’re trying to find out. He’s making…something. The problem is with the campaigns, the court dynamics, the king…” He spread his hands. “We can’t spare many resources to working it out. The Red Men are trying to, but they haven’t discovered much and keep making things worse.”
I took a sip of wine to wet my own throat. “Have you found many on the streets like her?”
He gave a half nod. “A few every month for the past half year, though their characteristics have been changing over time. We also find people they’ve injured. If they bite somebody or their saliva gets in a wound or in somebody’s mouth, the injured person becomes like them—mad, violent, drawn, and pale. That’s the key thing that sets halfsouls apart. Soulless from Kollenstar are well controlled by the normal soldiers. They simply kill their victims on command. In contrast, halfsouls are random and purposeless and can infect others. Both soulless and halfsouls have been drained of normal human emotions, but I suspect different ones. The kryalcomy isn’t the same. But we don’t know why or what the differences are meant to achieve.”
I suppressed a shiver. “Have you ever saved one in the same state as that woman?”
Kasten shook his head slowly.
“But you’re still trying? You could have just killed her in Adenburg to stop her from hurting people, correct? Surely that would have been easiest, but instead you brought her all the way back here to try to help her?”
Kasten inclined his head. “And to try to figure out what was done to her. If Callum can work out what’s been taken from them and how, he’ll know what to give back—if that’s even possible. It’s hard since he doesn’t want to experiment in this sort of kryalcomy. It’s evil.”
I tapped my chin. “Have you tried sedatives to make transportation easier?”
“We do.” He nodded. “But they don’t respond like normal, healthy humans. The sedatives have a much shorter and reduced effect.”
I pursed my lips. “Maybe I could make up some different ones for you to try.”
He rubbed his chin and pursed his lips in thought. “We could give it a go, but getting them to drink anything is dangerous and difficult. We need something they can inhale or we can inject.”
I nodded, putting that problem to the side to mull over later. Injections were a relatively new practice. It was hard to make ingredients sterile and absorbable enough to be safe. As far as I knew, only sterile water and a few alkaloids had been produced by the top pharmacists in Adenburg. It might be an impossible task, but I could try. I would need to do a lot of reading.
I frowned. “You could dart them. Some sedatives are strong enough that they are quickly absorbed once you piece the skin. It wouldn’t need to be a proper injection. Though they would be more dangerous to handle.”
Kasten tilted his head and nodded without meeting my eyes. “If you can make them, I’m willing to try it.”
A tremble of excitement and purpose made me sit up straighter. I lifted my eyes to Kasten who was eating methodically, studiously focused on his plate. An unexpected peace settled over me. The subject of the conversation was unpleasant, but it proved that Kasten was a good, selfless man. Even when life was hard, he was doing so much to help others. He never gave up. Warmth built in my stomach. With Frederick, I had always been desperately trying to find some good traits to dwell on or reasons to excuse his behavior. With Kasten…well, I was starting to believe I was married to one of the best men in the whole of Fenland.
Abruptly, he put down his knife and fork. “I want to apologize again for last night.”
I cleared my throat. “There’s no need. You already have. I shouldn’t have barged in like that. I know the east wing is out of bounds—” A sudden thought made me break off. “Are there other people locked up in there like that woman?”
He shook his head. “They don’t last long, the victims of Lord Lyrason’s experiments. Especially the unlucky civilians that are bitten before we can stop the original ones. They die by themselves within a day or two. Sometimes hours. We do still have some of their bodies though. We dissected them but have found no metal in their stomachs or any devices on their skin. All kryalcomy needs metal.” He took another sip and looked up, wincing. “I’m sorry. Dead bodies and dissection is hardly suitable dinner conversation. I don’t mean to stop you from enjoying your food.”
I ate a bite of omelet to show I was quite capable of eating while talking about corpses and leaned forward. “So what else is in the east wing? Just restraining rooms and places to examine bodies?” I pointedly ate another mouthful.
His lips twitched in amusement. “And Callum’s private workshop. His main forge is in the garden, but the east wing is where he works and stores his more secretive kryalcomy.” He held up a hand before I could speak. “And it is illegal only because of the Maegistrium. He stays away from the sort of kryalcomy that Kollenstar does. Or Lord Lyrason. He doesn’t change people.”
I fidgeted in eagerness. “May I see it? I would love to see what Callum makes, and I understand and will respect the need for confidentiality.”
He sighed as if in defeat. “Why don’t you ask him tomorrow? Tell him he has my permission. He’ll enjoy showing off.”
I beamed, happiness I hadn’t felt in a long time radiating through me. “Thank you.”
He only nodded, watching me carefully from his shadowed eyes.
I happily heaped a pile of vegetables and sausage onto my plate, my appetite returned. Between bites, I glanced back at my husband and saw he was still watching me. He looked away quickly and I felt my cheeks heat as I smiled to myself.