39. Sophie
Like every morning, I riffled through all my letters to see if Father had responded to my invitation, both dreading and hoping to see his handwriting.
I just wanted this to be over. The anticipation was destroying my ability to sleep, and Kasten’s absence only made that worse. What if Father never responded? What if he refused to come after what had happened with George?
I let out a sigh as I checked all the letters a second time and found none with the Halfield seal. I tried to muster the energy to concentrate on them. With Kasten gone, the pile of letters and reports on my breakfast tray every morning had tripled. How did he manage to keep on top of so many things? And he had made things simpler for me by delegating many of his roles to others. I never got messages about the troops or kryalcomy. But there were so many about trade, predicted city shortages, staff changes and requests for various repairs or financial input. I was glad to have Mistress Rose to discuss the castle matters with and Sir Jordan, the city steward, to discuss management of the rest of Kasomere. Most of the time the requests were decisions they had already made that I simply needed to sign off, but I could tell they were starting to be genuinely interested in my input too.
I stirred raisins into my porridge as I read a report on recent measures to strengthen Kasomere’s wall after the recent scare of Whitehill and how this had caused funds to be directed away from clearing the lower city sewers. I knew it was my job to be informed of everything, but this felt like an area many other people would be better qualified to comment on.
A knock sounded at the door, and I nodded at Meena to open it. A boy appeared in the Halfield servant uniform. I startled and dropped my spoon. Father had sent a messenger instead of a normal letter? Was he a spy? Or had Father included something important in his reply? Maybe he wanted my own reply straightaway. A guard was following closely behind him, and Meena straightened, even though he could not have been more than thirteen years old.
The messenger bowed. “My lady, thank you for receiving me. I have a message from your father. He regrets to decline your invitation.”
My heart dropped. My plan had failed.
The messenger continued. “Your sister, Irabel. She is very sick. Your father asked me to tell you that she might not make it. He dares not leave Adenburg while she is in this condition. She sent you a letter herself.” He handed over a folded envelope with the Halfield seal while eyeing the guards nervously.
I blinked at him in shock before popping the seal and seeing Irabel’s handwriting.
Sophie,
I am sick and bored out of mind. Everything hurts. Come and distract me by telling me about Kasomere and all your adventures. I’ve heard so many stories about General Batton, I want to know if they’re true. You said so little in the one letter you wrote.
Every day I get worse. I don’t want to admit it, but I’m scared. Claribel just cries everytime she sees me, and I’m sick of crying now.
Come, please, even if it’s only for half an hour.
Your little sister,
Irabel
I pressed the letter against my chest as a wave of panic fluttered my heart. Father and Irabel wouldn’t lie about this, surely? He wouldn’t use his daughter’s illness to get to me.
Would he?
I took a deep breath and thought it through.
It couldn’t be a way to harm Kasten, not when the invitation wasn’t extended to him, and they couldn’t keep me against my will when everyone would know where I was. What if it really was Irabel seeking comfort on her deathbed? She was so sweet and innocent, she had always given me the brightest smiles in the family and had been excited over the smallest things. She’d spent so much time on my wedding veil, hand sewing each precious crystal in place.
I would never forgive myself if I didn’t perform such a simple wish and she did indeed die. And I might have herbs that could save her. I was needed at her side far more than I was needed in Kasomere right now. Mistress Rose and Sir Jordan were capable of handling everything.
Besides, if I went to Adenburg and stayed in the townhouse, I could be with Kasten, even if just for a few hours. I missed him. Even a quick glimpse of him would help ease the worry and ache in my chest in his absence. He would keep me safe, and Meena would also accompany me at all times.
Father would likely catch me on my way out of the house. This could still be my chance to be firm and show him that he didn’t hold power over me anymore. His questions and reaction might betray him if they still had plans to take hold of Kasomere. I would tell Father and George that they were never welcome here or to call in Highfair. I wouldn’t be afraid any longer.
I wrote a hurried reply to Irabel on some fresh paper and handed it back to the messenger. “Tell them I will visit Irabel shortly.”
He bowed and left. Meena stepped forward as soon as the door clicked shut. “I’m not sure this is a good idea, my lady.”
I looked out the window to where the last of the shriveled roses were being beheaded. “If she’s dying, I have to see her. I can treat her.” I looked back at my guard as I stood, my appetite gone. “Assemble me a good guard, Meena, and send for the carriage to be prepared. We won’t take any chances.”
It waslate afternoon when we arrived at Highfair. Kasten was sadly absent from the house, though many of the guards and scouts were asleep in their rooms. Apparently, it had been a long night for them. Five halfsouls had been released downtown, one of which had infected two civilians who’d also needed to be tracked down and killed. They hadn’t managed to sedate any successfully yet.
Just the idea of those creatures made me shiver.
I wondered what Kasten was doing now. Spying or threatening probably. Did he never sleep? He had to be exhausted. Did he draw from his reserves all the time?
I looked out of the window, hoping to see him in the street coming home to rest. The world was so unfair when Kasten was out there risking his life, expending all his energy to stop this evil, knowing he would never receive any praise or even acknowledgement. The people of court made the hero the villain; he didn’t even seek to change their opinion. He cared so much about others, he forgot to care about himself. I loved that he could still be selfless even when fighting for his own survival. He was such a good man. If the world wouldn’t praise him, I would have to compensate.
After I made a clean break with my father and brother today, I hoped Kasten would be able to join me for dinner to celebrate. I missed him too much to feel like myself in his absence.
I washed and changed into a more fashionable dress before returning to the carriage to go to the Halfield Mansion. Due to our increasing wealth—and Father’s schemes that had moved us all over Fenland—I had lived in many different houses growing up. This one had been purchased the year I married Frederick, and as such, I had only lived in it for three weeks between his death and my marriage to Kasten. It was unfamiliar, and I hoped it would always be so.
Meena left a guard of four with the carriage, just in case something happened, then she and a guard I vaguely recognized followed me to the front door.
Meena stepped close behind me and lowered her voice. “Are you sure you about this, my lady?”
I nodded. I could do this. I could show them I was strong enough to stand up for myself. I knocked on the door and took a step back. A footman opened it with a bow. Before he could say anything, I held up a finger. “I’m here to see Irabel. This is not a social visit.”
He opened his mouth, but I pushed past him, my back tall, as I entered the pristine hallway. Even though I’d only lived here a few weeks, it felt like I was returning to a prison.
I made my way straight to Irabel’s room and pushed the door ajar. It was empty except for my sister, asleep in her bed.
“Wait here,” I whispered to Meena. “Don’t let anyone else enter if possible. Otherwise, try to give me a warning. I would rather not be cornered by Father.”
She scanned Irabel’s room, then gave a curt nod. I walked to where Irabel lay in bed, covered by bedsheets up to the lace neck ruffle of her nightdress. Her eyes were closed, and her pale wavy hair was spread over the pillows around her, instead of in her normal tight ringlets.
I sat down in the wooden armchair beside the bed and leaned toward her, taking in the paleness of her skin. A few tonics lay corked in glass bottles on the bedside table. Once I knew her symptoms and treatment so far, I would make her one of my own.
I stroked the back of her hand. “Irabel? Irabel, it’s Sophie. I’ve come to see you.”
She didn’t reply, remaining motionless. My heart caught in my throat. How bad was she? I reached over to feel her pulse at her neck.
I startled as Irabel became alive in a flurry of blankets and flying golden hair. One of her hands grabbed my arm just above my elbow, her nails digging painfully into my skin. I bit back a scream, worried that I’d startled her, but then I looked down and saw it wasn’t her nails at all—a needle sunk deep in the muscle of my arm.
I opened and closed my mouth, unable to process what I was seeing.
“I’m sorry,” whispered Irabel, her voice cracked and broken.
My body crumpled forward.