Chapter Twenty-Four
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Malcolm had been in a thousand airports waiting for a thousand flights. But he’d never felt like this. He sat in the executive lounge with Genevieve, who was wired on coffee and still working on the presentation to House in a Box’s board. But he could barely concentrate. Why the hell was he going to New Zealand?
It had been only an hour and a half since he’d been with Josie, and already he missed her. It was like an ache in the deepest part of him.
He couldn’t stop rewinding back to their good-bye. She’d left first, heading for the cottages alone, when everything inside him longed to be going with her. She’d put on a brave face, but he was pretty sure she’d been crying. Still, she’d encouraged him to go with an understanding that amazed him. She got how important this deal was to him. Maybe when it was over, when the year in New Zealand was up…
But how much did it really mean to him? Okay, so he’d spent a couple of years courting Kieran Taylor. Umpteen hours with one big goal in mind. From a purely business standpoint, this was the ultimate success. This would go down as one of the greatest deals in the history of his company. And yet…
While he should be flying with excitement, he only felt numb when he thought about the business, the deal. He didn’t feel anything. If he were subjected to a lie detector test right now and asked if he was happy about the deal, there was no way that he could say yes without the machine going crazy and labeling him a liar. But if he were asked whether he missed Josie with every fiber of his being, if he was haunted by the look in her eyes when he’d told her he was going to New Zealand for a year, any answer but yes would also be proven to be false.
Entwined with it all was the conversation he’d had with his father the day before. His father had thanked him for basically saving his life. Instead of asking why Malcolm had run away all those years ago, he’d told his son that he had done more for him than quite possibly anyone else. For the first time, Malcolm saw that he’d been a scared seventeen-year-old, and he’d done his best in a terrifying situation.
And then when his dad had said that he’d worried about Malcolm all these years, worried that he might have been badly impacted in an emotional way, but that now he knew everything was okay because of Malcolm’s relationship with Josie…
Malcolm ran a hand through his hair. Should he have been honest with his father? Should he have said, Yes, it did screw me up seeing you like that. It made me hellbent and determined to never ever be torn apart by anything that way. It’s made me keep relationships on the surface and shut the door on passions that I otherwise might’ve pursued. Should he have said, I wasn’t there for you. Yes, that night I helped you. But then I left. Should he have admitted the guilt that he’d felt for so long?
So many questions swirled in Malcolm’s head. About going to New Zealand, about his relationship with his father and, most of all, about Josie. He’d meant it when he told her he loved her. He’d never said those words to another woman and couldn’t imagine ever saying them to someone else. Because no one else would be Josie. She was everything he hadn’t known he wanted.
No, that wasn’t true.
Even back in high school, she’d been special. And though he’d known her only from afar, their kiss had still been electrifying. Memorable for years afterward. Josie had been with him since he was seventeen, and it felt almost as though fate had brought her back into his life.
Fate was not something Malcolm Sullivan had ever believed in. He’d always believed that you got to where you were and ended up with the life you had because of focus, work, and attention. But there was no other reason that he could possibly think of for Josie to have shown up in his life again other than fate. Some cosmic force that wanted them to be together.
And then what did he do? His usual MO. He got the hell out of there. Told her he loved her and then said good-bye.
Oh sure, he’d said it would only be for a year, that they could have a long-distance relationship. But he hardly even believed himself. And he sure as hell knew she hadn’t believed him.
She’d been kind enough to let him go without a big emotional explosion. But he wished that she had exploded. Because then maybe, maybe he would’ve changed his mind. Would have turned down the deal and stayed.
He owed her an apology. An apology he knew she’d never ask for. Because she would never emotionally manipulate him. It wasn’t who she was. She was good, and sweet, and kind, and she’d let him go.
He’d be in New Zealand in a matter of hours. He’d get a few hours of sleep on the plane, and then he and Genevieve would head straight into an intense meeting where it would be on them to prove that House in a Box was ready for global success. Somehow he was going to have to pull it together. Somehow he was going to have to focus and do the work that he’d agreed to do. Somehow he was going to have to let his longing for Josie go. For now.
But even as he strategized with Genevieve, tried to focus on the plans for the global launch, he knew that would be impossible.