Chapter 31
Family Matters
All thoughts of Nikolach, the final, and graduation went out of my head when I returned to my room in the outpost and saw the telltale glowing runes of my mirror. Papa had responded to my message.
The return trip after the thunderstorm had been even more taxing than the journey to Lake Mirae, but at least I hadn’t forgotten to retrieve my boots from the shoreline. My eyes burned with fatigue as I weighed whether to listen to his message now or later.
Ultimately, the yearning to hear his voice won out.
Picking up the mirror, I double tapped the surface until my father’s face appeared.
“Lisia, I understand that you are at a fork in the river of your Tide.”
No pleasantries, then.
I sighed, bracing myself for the rest.
“The path ahead is not the one you envisioned. But our family’s honor, our reputation and very standing in the community rests upon your decision.”
Don’t forget the financial boon you’ll get if I marry him.
“Your marriage to Jessarian is not just a union between you two. It is a bond of our families, and it proves our commitment to tradition. By marrying him, you will become a part of something larger than just yourself, a legacy spanning multiple generations.”
Tears blurred my vision. Emotions were so tangled up in me, I couldn’t tell if I was crying from exhaustion, anger, sorrow, or frustration.
“Your happiness is important, but not as important as the well-being of our entire family. You’re an adult now, so you must understand that sometimes short term sacrifice lightens long term burdens.
This is one of those sacrifices. It isn’t just about you, it’s about all of us.
I understand this is difficult, but it must be so. ”
“We didn’t enter into this arrangement lightly. This is to ensure the best future for all of us. His family can offer you security and stability that you won’t find elsewhere. Once he is ordained, Jessarian will provide you with a comfortable life, and a respectable position as his wife.”
Yes, of course the golden cage will be comfortable. And too small for my own desires, opinions, and aspirations to fit.
“I am confident you have already passed the final by now. You have always been incredibly strong. We love you very much. We’ll see you at the Stonehearth Chapel after graduation at sunrise.”
Pushing both heels of my palms against my eyelids I leaned back and released a keening noise. To my own ears I sounded like an animal in pain. My shoulders were shaking with the force of my feelings. Something important and internal was being slowly flayed from my chest, one sliver at a time.
My message to him had been clear. I only had one life, and I didn’t want to spend another minute of it with Jessarian.
Being respected, having a comfortable life…
they were things he cared about, not me.
And they were soothing lies Papa told himself to feel better about this match.
As a Voyager, I would never have a comfortable life.
I couldn’t. It would be a dangerous, and likely short one.
I wouldn’t be on Mesmoria often enough for my standing in society to matter. Most of my life would be on an Arc.
All of it as a consequence for his own lack of judgement.
I’d sacrificed enough.
Papa hadn’t listened, or at least he hadn’t heard me. Now he’d be too late to cancel everything, and still end up paying for everything involved in the wedding. There was nothing I could do about it.
And he still expected me to marry Jessarian. My jaw tightened.
He was in for a surprise.