Chapter 1
Nix
Holy fucking shit.
Who knew Canada would be this cold in November?
Okay, everybody knew. It was common knowledge. One of the things people immediately associate with Canada.
Still, knowing—in theory—it’d be cold was completely different from experiencing it in real life.
Shivering, I pulled my shoulders up to my ears and started walking even quicker, pushing past people who didn’t look like they felt the cold at all—and that wasn’t because they were all shifters, unaffected by the cold as much as regular humans or, well, mages.
Most of the people I was passing were actually humans, but unlike me, they were dressed for the weather.
As in, they were wearing coats and hats and gloves and shit.
I lowered my head, shielding myself against the icy-cold wind blowing through Balwood’s busy main street, as well as the critical looks people were casting my way. I could feel their eyes on me. Imploring. Judging.
I shuddered, goosebumps rising on my skin as I squeezed past two shifters. Were they looking at me? Was this finally the moment someone recognized my scent? The moment my life—or what was left of it—turned into even more of a living hell?
It wasn’t. They didn’t even look in my direction, didn’t notice me at all. Their noses didn’t twitch, there wasn’t even a hint of recognition crossing their faces, and their conversation never faltered.
I let out a relieved breath and then continued walking towards my destination.
Never had I needed anything as much as I needed a couple of minutes inside Herb’s right now.
Another gust of wind blew through the streets, pushing the icy air through the fabric of my hoodie.
Thousands of tiny needles pierced my skin.
The cold was the worst enemy I’d ever battled, far worse than the wolves I’d been running from for five months now.
And I was losing, close to giving up, to collapsing right here, right now, in the middle of the busy sidewalk.
If I just closed my eyes, if I just let go of the little bit of control I was desperately clinging to… No.
I couldn’t.
My life was on the line.
My freedom.
Willing myself to keep going was the hardest thing I’d ever done. My body rebelled against every step. My legs were barely able to carry my weight, my eyes didn’t want to stay open, and I was cold and shivering all over.
I couldn’t do this anymore.
In a last, desperate attempt to get to a place at least somewhat safe, I pushed open the doors to Herb’s. Warmth hit me like a freight train, making my vision swim. The blood in my ears was rushing so loudly that it drowned out everything else.
Blinking, I tried to get my senses back, but my hands were still desperately clutching the door.
Suddenly, there was a hand gripping my elbow.
The magic inside me flared at the contact, bracing against an attack I wouldn’t be able to stop.
“… there… Nix?” Making out the words under the sound of my rushing blood was hard, so fucking hard. My head pounded, maybe even worse than my heart hammering in my chest.
The hand tugged at my elbow, pulling me forward. One step, another one. On the third one, I tripped, but the hand gripped me tighter, hoisting me up until it’d maneuvered my arm over a shoulder that was holding me up, taking the brunt of my weight.
Slowly, I made out the sounds of my surroundings, and my vision began to clear, but I didn’t need to turn my head. I already knew who was dragging me through the coffee shop.
Levi.
Who else could it be?
Who else would know my name? Who else around here would have the aura of a mage?
A sigh escaped me just as Levi lowered me into an armchair in the back corner of the coffee shop.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I heard him mumbling.
Then his face came into view, those stormy grey eyes studying me with an intensity that made me want to writhe under the scrutiny. But I couldn’t get my body to move. Oh, it was moving all right, shaking and trembling, but I couldn’t get it to do anything else.
“I asked you a question!” Levi repeated, his voice taking on an almost desperate note, his lips pursed. Raking a hand through his hair, he stared at me, his eyes begging me to do or say something—I just didn’t know what.
“Huh?” That was not a real word, but at least I’d managed to get a sound out, even if it was only a single syllable.
“What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. You?” he repeated, grabbing my shoulders for a second, only to hiss and snatch back his hands. “You’re a fucking icicle. Are you trying to kill yourself?”
No, I was fucking not. Quite the contrary. I was doing my best in this fucked-up situation to stay alive and stay free. Maybe I wasn’t doing a particularly good job of it at the moment, but I was fucking trying.
However, I didn’t say any of that out loud. Levi didn’t deserve my anger. Worry was etched into his features, his stormy eyes swimming with unshed tears.
But also… I wasn’t sure how much of that I’d actually get out before my voice failed me.
“Wait here,” Levi said, pinning me to the chair with a glare.
“Don’t you dare pull some kind of disappearing stunt on me or I will find you and I’ll…
I’ll…” He threw his hands up as he whirled around and ran away as fast as possible, weaving his way through the mismatched assortment of chairs and tables with a precision that stemmed from muscle memory.
I couldn’t do anything but stare after him.
Would he bring me something to eat?
My stomach cramped painfully, a mix of hope and shame flooding me, bringing tears to my eyes. It shouldn’t be like this. I shouldn’t have to rely on handouts from a near stranger. I should be able to afford my own damn coffee and pastries.
Then again, this shouldn’t be my life. I shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be hiding out in the woods in winter, hiding from a pack that was hunting me, while also trying to stay hidden from the local pack that might or might not try to enslave me once they found out who I was. What I was.
My heart skipped a beat, icy fear gripping it, squeezing until I could barely breathe.
“Here,” Levi said before pushing a steaming hot cup dressed in a knitted sweater into my hands, manually wrapping my fingers around the soft yet firm, warm cup, waiting until he was sure I was actually holding onto it before letting go.
Carefully raising the cup in my still-trembling fingers, I inhaled deeply. The heavenly scent of rich chocolate warmed my insides, shaking something loose within me.
My eyes started burning, tears threatening to spill over as exhaustion crashed into me.
“Hey now,” Levi said, carefully nudging me. “Whatever it is, it’s okay.”
It wasn’t.
Nothing was okay.
And I was starting to question if it ever would be.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, gripping the cup harder. It was a big one, white ceramic wrapped in a black knitted sweater with sparkling purple stars on it.
A strangled laugh escaped me as I thought back to our first conversation.
“Did you make this?” I asked, feeling a hint of a smile tugging at my lips.
Levi shrugged, a blush rising on his cheeks. “Maybe? Okay, yeah, I totally did that. I picked up a new hobby, and I found that knitting is really, really calming. And a great way to do something with my hands while talking with my viewers.”
“Viewers?” I blinked as my mind tried—and failed spectacularly—to make OnlyFans fit with knitting.
“Oh… yeah. I’m doing social media stuff. On the side. Like, vlogs and funny TikToks about being a barista?”
“Ohh…” I nodded. That made a lot more sense than knitting on OnlyFans.
“Anyway, I used to do makeup while randomly chatting away, but I wanted to change things up a bit, and since it’s cold as fuck here, I thought hey, knitting.
And then I saw these cups with sweaters on and thought it’d be a fun idea to introduce here, but I failed to think about the hygiene aspect, so it’s… wait. No. We’re not doing this again!”
“Doing what again?” I furrowed my brow as I watched Levi cross his arms in front of his chest.
“Me rambling away because I’m afraid to directly ask the tough questions you’ve been masterfully evading for weeks.”
Oh.
That.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I looked down at the cup in my hands. I carefully took a sip, revelling in the way the hot liquid burned my tongue. Fuck, yeah. It was too hot to drink, but so good when every part of my body felt chilled to the bone.
“Nix,” Levi said, exasperation in his voice. “I’m worried about you, okay? Really fucking worried. And I’ve tried not to pry, but… you’re vanishing right in front of me, and I can’t take it anymore.”
“Okay?” A lead weight settled in my stomach. This was it. I had no idea what exactly it was, but my instincts told me it wasn’t good.
Did he know?
About me being a mage? About him being a mage?
No. I was certain he had no idea about the magic within him. But maybe someone in the pack had figured it out. Surely there was someone who’d scented a mage before. Someone who knew how to interpret our scent, to recognize the smell of an upcoming storm for what it was…
“Are you homeless?”
My thoughts came to a screeching halt.
“What?” I’d gone for shouting in surprise, but what actually came out was a hoarse whisper.
“Are you homeless?”
“I… I…” I took another sip of hot chocolate, trying to buy myself some time to get my thoughts sorted.
Was I homeless? I guess… I guess one could say so.
Wow. I swallowed. There was something stuck in my throat, but I couldn’t get it to go away.
Homeless. I’d never thought about it like that. “I’m not… not homeless?”
I was on the run.
Was one considered homeless if they were on the run?
I’d had an apartment before, but it was gone now, together with all my worldly possessions. Torched to the ground just days after my coven had betrayed me.