Chapter 13 Lainey
THIRTEEN
LAINEY
Posing as Alex’s fake girlfriend isn’t difficult, like I believed it would be.
It’s the complete opposite, so easy that it should worry me that I’m having trouble recognizing what’s fake and what’s something more since he first kissed me earlier this week.
I could understand the kiss on campus while he walked me back from the library, but everything else we’ve done? I’m not sure what it means.
It’s not like there was anyone to watch us after we got back to my dorm, or when he led me upstairs tonight. There wasn’t any reason to put on an act behind closed doors.
All I know is that I really like what we’re doing.
Another surprise is how quickly I’ve grown used to being around the hockey guys in a short span of time. They’re not so bad.
I’m actually having a good time tonight after we finally made it down to the party.
Looking my brother in the eye after giving his best friend a blowjob is one of the last things I want to do.
He stared at me, then at Alex, well aware that we were alone together in his bedroom for over an hour.
My lips were still slightly swollen, but I lifted my chin rather than give in to the urge to run away. I don’t regret any of it.
Theo narrowed his eyes, but kept his mouth shut.
After we’ve made the rounds to say hi to people Alex knows, he drops a kiss on my temple and runs back upstairs to his room to get his phone off the charger, leaving me with my brother and one of the freshmen players in the kitchen.
“I’m telling you, pizza rolls with ranch are superior,” I argue with Easton while Theo gets a tray of them out of the oven.
“This is ketchup slander,” he declares. “It goes on everything.”
My nose wrinkles at the thought of ketchup on pizza rolls. He grabs one of the mini lava pockets and tosses it between his hands with a pained expression.
“You’re an idiot.” Theo snorts. “At least wait until they cool off. You trying to burn your tongue off?”
“But I’m hungry.” Easton blows on the roll before shoving it in his mouth while it’s still too hot based on the way his entire body shuffles around.
Theo shoots me a long suffering look. “Sometimes I think I miss when I lived at home. I actually got to eat, for one.”
“Can you get the—”
“I’m on it.” Theo rummages in the refrigerator and sets the ranch on the counter.
“You’re team ranch, too?” Easton’s expression crumples as if his teammate has betrayed him in the worst way. “Nah, bro. How are you gonna do me like that?”
“Because it tastes better,” Theo says.
I laugh, then jolt when strong arms circle me from behind, tugging me against a firm body. Alex presses a smile against my cheek.
“Lainey.”
“What?”
“Hi.” He kisses my jawline when an amused noise escapes me and his arms cinch tighter. “What are you doing?”
I catch my brother’s eye roll and exasperated smirk as he turns his back on us.
“Making pizza rolls.” I shiver, licking my lips when Alex plays with the hem of my sweater. A sizzle of heat races through me, reminding me of what we did in his room. “They’re secret, though. There isn’t enough for everyone here.”
He hums. “Is that why you’ve got Higgins posted up in the hallway to keep people out of here?”
The huge defensive player has an intimidating permanent scowl.
I was low-key afraid of him before Alex introduced his teammates at the last party.
Theo insisted I had to be the one to ask Higgins if he’d redirect people from the kitchen while we worked on our secret snack project.
It was the first time his scowl melted when he agreed gruffly.
“He’s being rewarded for his efforts,” Easton interjects as he piles steaming snacks in his hand. “Fuck, these are so hot still.”
It feels like our own private party when the four of us crowd around the island. Theo pretends to gag while Alex feeds me pizza rolls. Easton still insists he’s team ketchup. I’m enjoying the bubble we’ve created, feeling a sense of fitting in from the world I kept myself separate from for so long.
After our snack, Alex takes my hand and we go to the living room. It feels so natural now to hold his hand or lean against his side with his arm around me while we hang out with people he knows.
He talks up my benefit to anyone who will listen. It’s enough to make me blush. Each time he looks at me, there’s wonder in his handsome green eyes. I’m looking forward to seeing him in a suit again for the dance tomorrow night.
I put a hand on his arm while he’s having a conversation about Heston’s next game. “I’ll be back. I need a drink.”
“Want me to come with you?” He laces our fingers together to keep me by his side.
I bite my lip to hold back the smile fighting to break free. “I’ll be two minutes.”
He kisses my hand. “Miss you already.”
“You’re cheesy,” I say.
He winks. I head to the kitchen with my insides fluttering.
“Hey!” The familiar bubbly voice snags my attention.
I offer a shy smile to Candace, the sorority girl I first met at the Heston U vs UConn hockey game.
“Please, please tell me you’re going to get ready with us tomorrow?” She holds her hands in front of her like a prayer. “I’m dying to do your makeup. I just got this great winter palette with shades that would look so good on you.”
This isn’t the first time she’s asked since we met two weeks ago. I’ve given excuses because I didn’t think she’d want to hang out, but she hasn’t dropped it.
We’ve been texting since I gave her my number.
I’ve continued adding to the list of book recommendations I gave her when she came to the bookstore.
Part of me wonders if I’m annoying her by sending so many, but she responds with so much enthusiastic interest when I message her with another book I think she might want to try that it sets me at ease.
“Okay, but only if you don’t mind doing me first because I’ll need to leave early for the banquet hall to make sure the vendors have everything they need.”
Candace claps in excitement. “Yay! Oh, I finished the first book on the list. It was so good, girl. I’m hooked. Is the next one available at the bookshop?”
My eyes widen. “You liked it?”
“Loved it.” She fans herself while she gushes. “Oh my god, I was swooning. Then I needed to call my boyfriend when things got spicy.”
My face flushes, but I nod in understanding. “We have the whole series in stock.”
Someone in another room calls her name. She squeezes my shoulder.
“Text me tomorrow. You can come over as early as you want. I’m doing a full self-care day before the event.”
“Okay.”
I’m relieved that she gave me a time frame so I don’t get stuck wondering when to go there.
It’s nice to have another friend besides Maya to talk to about books I’ve read.
Alex doesn’t count since he’s been my new mental image for all the book boyfriends I read.
I find myself looking forward to tomorrow, ready to enjoy myself after all my hard work on the dance.
Pouring myself a drink, I head back toward Alex with a tiny smile breaking free. I stop just outside the room when I hear something that turns my insides to stone.
“Keller, what’s the deal with you and Brainy? Why are you even with that nerd?”
Every muscle in my body stiffens and my throat closes. It’s Mike and his asshole friends on the football team.
I was so swept up in what’s happening with Alex that I forgot why he wanted to pretend with me in the first place.
“What makes you think I have to explain myself to you?” Alex’s usual easygoing tone takes on a hard edge. “I’m with her, end of story.”
My heart clenches. I want to believe he means that, more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. When he kissed me, I allowed myself to think two total opposites like us could work because the way I feel when I’m with him is so right.
But it’s not real, is it?
We agreed to play this act for two weeks and that’s exactly what he’s doing—making it appear like he’s really my boyfriend.
“I’m asking you straight up,” Mike continues. “You can have any girl you want. Why her—unless she fucks like a puck bunny? Oh shit, it is, isn’t it? Don’t deny it, it’s written all over your face. Does she let go of that uptight, bitchy attitude when she’s on her knees taking cock in her mouth?”
Puck bunny. The term makes my stomach sink. How could I forget this is how athletes talk about the women they sleep with?
Shaking my head, I abandon my drink on the nearest flat surface. I don’t need to stick around for this. There’s a shout, followed by a commotion. I don’t stop to find out what it’s about while I slip through the front door.
The first thought that cuts through the buzz overtaking my mind questions if that’s how Alex thinks of this thing between us, too.
Before he decided to become my fake boyfriend his reputation for hookups was rampant across campus.
Am I a puck bunny to him? Or maybe I’m not enough like one, too inexperienced to appeal to him.
Alex can get with any girl. So why would he want me?
I was kidding myself believing I fit in here. I don’t. I never will.
A thick lump clogs my throat. I swallow it, trying to get my strained breathing under control.
Embarrassment rakes down my spine. I felt so sexy and confident with him. Now those intimate moments are tarnished by what I overheard.
Nerds and jocks don’t belong together. The divide will always exist between us.
My eyes itch and sting on my walk through town. It’s not because of the winter air.
Our two weeks of faking our relationship are up. Time to get back to reality.