Chapter 3
three
LULU
If there's anything I'm good at, it's admitting defeat. I've been forced to acknowledge my weaknesses too many times to count. Each time I bowed my head and took what I deserved.
It's a lot easier to give in to the bullying voices than fight back. Plus, I'm grossly underweight and less than five and a half feet tall. I'm not dainty and cute like some women are. I'm bones and scars.
Which is why I look like a kid playing dress-up in her mom's clothes today. I don’t like it, but it's necessary. I don't have anything nice to wear to the job interview.
Glancing down at the pamphlet in the passenger seat for the hundredth time in the fifteen-minute drive, I gulp. What am I doing?
"I'm getting a job like I hoped to do when I went to that stupid fair," I argue and tug on the soft strings around Binks' edges. Since I can't reasonably walk to the address on the pamphlet, I took the rusty truck my father hasn't driven in a year.
The gas thingy doesn't work so I'm not sure how far it will go until I run out. Then I'll really be in trouble. Honestly, I'm just glad Mom's phone was still in her room when she passed. That sounds horrible and makes me want to cry, but I needed the maps on it to get to Reclaiming Red.
I haven't used it for anything else, nor have I snooped.
The truck bangs loudly as I hit a pothole, making me scream and clutch onto Binks tighter. It's not safe or smart, but my Little peeks through with a whimper and I drag my blankie up to tickle beneath my nose.
I feel better for a moment but the road yanks me around until I'm sure I'll never make it home alive. I haven't even made it to my destination yet and I'm already contemplating my imminent death.
"Just get me there," I plead, releasing Binks and white-knuckling the steering wheel. As if something heard my prayers, the directions pop me out onto a road that feels brand-new beneath the bare tires of the truck.
"Sheesh," I sigh, and allow my shoulders to slump. Maybe once I save up enough money, I'll apply to get my license. Or however that works.
Adamantly ignoring the fact that if I get this job someone will ask for my identification, I bite my lip the rest of the journey.
When the drive is over I'm surprised I'm ready to turn my booty right back around and hide in the run-down house my father left me in for all eternity. Not that I would have wanted to leave with him.
Beyond the open gates is my worst nightmare. In no way shape or form do I belong in a building as grand as this one.
It's not sleek with all glass windows but it's close.
The outside mixes modern gray and red brick beautifully.
There's no way I could possibly explain how big it is.
It looks like it could be a hotel in a big city.
Or like a big resort in the woods, which now that I'm thinking it, is exactly what it looks like.
Knock, knock.
"AHH!" A high-pitched scream rips my throat to shreds. I yank Binks up to just below my eyes. Hiding is what I'm good at. I'm small enough to fit in tiny spaces but boney enough that it usually hurts.
"Woah, woah, hey!" The man outside of the truck window shouts but it sounds muffled through the barrier. His hands are up in a placating gesture but I've seen how fast a hand in that position can go from innocence to a backhand across my cheekbone.
"It's okay, honey. I'm just the guard for the entrance. My job is to keep everyone inside the perimeter safe. That includes you."
Does that mean he has a gun?
"Okay, that's okay. You just keep driving and I'll have someone meet you at the main door. You'll see it's right beneath the ridiculously large arch."
Blinking, I let one hand move to the steering wheel and slowly move my foot off the brake. My lungs burn as I hold my breath, waiting for this man's face to twist in rage seconds before he busts the window open.
"There you go," he coos loudly, nodding his head. "Keep going. Cora and Sue are at the front desk today. They're sweet. Good girl!" he praises as I zoom away from him.
Just the mention of the two women I met propel me forward. I'd probably rush to Bash if the guard mentioned his name, but thankfully I get to see Cora. She's like me, Little, even if she doesn't know about me.
I want to be like her.
Fantasizing about her high energy and adorable outfit, I realize I'm about to unbuckle my seatbelt. Can I do this? Should I do this?
The weight of life rests on me now, so I have to do this. I don't want to, but I have to. This job, any job really, means the difference between having warm milk for bed or tap water until it runs out.
"Ohmigawd! Mommy! My friend is here!"
To my surprise, my shoulders droop in relief when I hear the high-pitched squeal.
Cora's eyes pop over the edge of the window to look at me.
I'm unbuckling my seatbelt and slowly opening the door before I can second-guess myself.
I don't know if it's Cora's energy or the hula-hoop she has in her fists, but I'm drawn to her.
"Hi!" she shouts, bouncing on her toes after I close the truck door behind me. Before I can respond, Sue's commanding presence zips my lips. It's obvious she's in charge and dominant. I know not to be too much around someone like her.
"Oh!" Sue beams with a big smile. "Hi, sweetie. I'm happy you're here!"
She is?
"Come on. Let's get you set up for your interview. Or—" Sue pauses mid-step and a dark look shadows her friendly eyes. "Are you here for shelter?"
"Um..." Gosh, Lulu, speak. "Job. I need a job."
Sue blows out a breath and waves me forward but I glance back into the cab of my truck. "Bring your blanket," Sue says with a soft look I don't want to read in to. "It's chilly in here today."
"Very," Cora agrees and shivers dramatically. I swear I even hear her teeth chatter.
Thankful for the excuse, I heave the door back open, tug Binks from my seat, and close the door. Patting my pocket I double-check my keys are in there. Satisfied I've done a good job, I follow the two kind women.
Things are looking up, and I think a smile is tugging on my lips. My shoulders aren't hiked up as far as they can go and I can breathe properly. All good signs. Right up until Sue says, "Hello, Pres," to a very large man who could snap me in two.
"Pres?" I whisper hoarsely, my steps reversing so fast I tumble onto my butt. "Like–like from the MC?"
This can't be happening. I knew from a very young age that my father was in trouble with bikers. They would come to our house sometimes demanding he pay them back, then a new guy in a different-colored jacket would come back. I didn’t know if they were in different groups, but the way my father would trash-talk MCs gave me enough information to understand to stay away from Motorcycle clubs.
The tall man with sharp features frowns at me and that's all I see. He's upset. He's mad at me, like Sue almost was when she asked about why I was here. I've made the president of a motorcycle club mad.
I have to go. "Go!" I huff and scramble back. "I go!"
His frown deepens and I swear I'm about to pass out.
Maybe I should. Just close my eyes and dream of absolutely nothing.
Nothing sounds good.