Down the Rabbit Hole
Wyn
The blogs reported on Trippy getting shot for weeks. Their album was postponed indefinitely, and there were rampant rumors that he was really dead and the Get Money Crew were lying about it.
But he was alive. And would make a full recovery. The timeline of that was just way longer. That’s what Grimey told me.
Before I stopped replying.
A radical pro-life group took responsibility for shooting the windows out of the clinic, but I knew the real, just like PC did. Trippy was shot because of me. The right thing to do would have been to leave them alone, so that’s what I decided to do.
My room became my refuge. Especially after I locked my window and painted over it.
Weed became my boyfriend. Wiz Khalifa crooned in the air about everything being better when you’re high, and I agreed, smoking as much as I could every day after school, until I was so high that all I could do was sleep.
Auty left me alone, as she should. I wasn’t surprised she told my business, though I didn’t think Rico would go as far as to shoot at me.
But then again, I wouldn’t have thought he would cheat on me, either.
School had let out for winter break at noon. I came straight home, and took an entire blunt to the head, before I turned on the fan I got to air out my space.
Three weeks without school to distract me from how fucked up my life is. Three weeks of smoking, my room, and watching every DVD in my dad’s collection.
My mom came home one November day acting like her version of normal, so for once, there was food in the fridge.
She was in the living room, painting her toenails while I made some spinach dip for myself.
Dad was out of town on a work trip for the weekend; a real work trip, not him combing the casinos along the coast.
As my life imploded, they seemed to figure out I couldn’t run the house, and stepped up. Mom was gaining weight back. Dad was home at night, and even speaking to Auty.
Mom delighted in the fact that I wasn’t, and I’m sure that was why I got away with smoking in the house.
Not that I would have stopped if she asked.
I needed it. I needed to be numb so I wouldn’t think about Rico, how much I missed him, or how much it hurt that he thought our baby wasn’t his.
“Are you making enough for me?” Mom called from the living room.
“Nope,” I called back, mixing the dip together in a glass bowl. My chips were already in my room, along with some Hennessy and lemonade.
It was going to be a grand Friday night.
The front door snapped open, before shutting just as fast. Auty stood there, chest heaving as she tried to pull her backpack back on her shoulder.
Mom stood and grabbed her nail polish. “Bitches love to slam shit in a house they don’t pay no bills at. Wynter! Tell your sister she better keep her fast ass in that room all break or she can get the fuck out my house!”
Auty watched her waddle into the back, fire in her eyes. Whoever–probably Turkey–did it, really did it, for her to still be mad.
Auty took a detour to her room, then stomped her way to the kitchen without her backpack.
“Are you busy tonight?” she huffed, folding her arms so hard I knew she hurt herself.
I glanced at the bowl of dip in my hands before meeting her gaze again.
“Are you still mad at me? I’m sorry, Wyn. I didn’t want–”
“You didn’t want Turkey to think his precious best friend was popping that pussy open, so you threw me under the bus instead.”
I never confronted Auty; it wasn’t a need to. She thought having him pick her up from around the corner would stave any questioning, because Auty refuses to believe that the niggas she hangs around are coldblooded and calculated. Never mind she’d been in the field with them.
On top of everything else, our entire school knew where I was that day and why. Whether it was from Turkey and Auty arguing about it in front of everyone, or Porscha putting two and two together, I didn’t know. And up until then, Auty hadn’t even apologized for leaving me in the first place.
At least she had the decency to wince at my words. “I’m sorry.”
“That’s fine.”
“I thought we could–”
“I’m good on being your second choice tonight. Have fun being alone in your room.” I winked at her as I made my way to my room, locking the door behind me.
Five hours into my winter break, the spinach dip was gone, and I was bored as the fuck.
Some hood movie Dad liked played in the background as I lay upside down, scrolling on MyRoom, when a message was posted on my wall.
Chyna Doll. We’d been friends for a few years, but I couldn’t place her, especially since she looked older. Still I clicked the message, and grinned.
Kickback in the Birch. I took a screenshot of the message, went to explore her page, and when I saw that beanpole nigga who was collecting dust in my requests, it clicked.
She was related to Kilo.
But all that meant was, Rico would definitely be at the kickback.
I slid onto the floor so I could stand upright, and padded out of my room.
Marvin Gaye was blasting from my parents’ room, threatening to make me hurl up my dip.
I felt better once I got outside Auty’s room, and the music changed to obscure alternative music.
Not bothering to knock, I burst in, grinning at Auty laying upside down on her bed, just like I had been.
“Get dressed. We’re going out.”
I walked to her stereo to turn it off as she sat upright. She tried to fold her arms, but she didn’t fool me.
It didn’t matter how alt and anti she tried to be. She was still a teen girl. And teen girls just wanna have fun.
“I thought you were busy,” she spat.
“Well, I’m not anymore. I got invited to this kickback, and I know you don’t wanna be here, listening to our parents fuck all night. It’s a kickback in the Birch–”
“The Birch?! Nuh-uh. No, Wyn.”
I rolled my eyes, groaning as loud as I could. “And why not? ‘Cause of Turkey?”
“Yes! He’s serious about me not going.”
“Why? Why does he get to have all the fun, and you have to stay here and be good little Auty.” I walked up to her and pulled her off the bed. “When’s the last time we’ve done something fun together? Never. Let’s have some fun tonight, Auty. Come on. For me? Please? Pretty please?”
I batted my eyelashes and squeezed her hands in mine.
I could have called Porscha, or any of the other girls I knew from school, but none of them were Auty.
And even though I wanted to show Rico what he was missing, I also wanted to have a little fun with my sister for once, even though she was still lame for running her mouth.
“Ugh, fine. But I’m wearing what I want.”
“Yeah, no. You’re not coming to any party with me looking like you cut yourself and listen to Marilyn Manson. Go shower. I’ll have your outfit on the bed, and then I’ll do something to that mop. You got thirty minutes!”
I giggled as I ran out, ready to really show Rico I could dress like the ho he swore I was.
Me not having tits came in handy as I put on red heart nipple pasties and a black mesh body suit.
I paired that with shiny black riding pants and some all black saddle shoes.
After hitting my middle part with the flat iron, smudging some eye liner, and putting on some gloss, I was ready to tackle Auty.
After much deliberation, she let me dress her in a sheer body suit, a leopard skirt, black tights, and brown boots. I made her get rid of her jacket, since I knew we wouldn’t get cold, slicked her baby hairs down, pulled half her braids up into a bun, and let her borrow my hoops.
She whined about it, but I plucked them fucking caterpillars she called eyebrows, and let her have one of my lip glosses.
“We finally look alike,” I said as I flicked us up in my mirror.
“Yeah, right,” she said, but I threw my arm around her.
“Hold that head up, Auty. I need one for my wall.”
She rolled her eyes, so I groaned and stepped away, grabbing the Hennessy on my desk.
“Drink now, so you don’t have to drink too much there.” I waterfalled a double shot before I handed it to her.
“I’ve never really drank before,” she mumbled.
I took it back and motioned for her to tilt her head back. I wasn’t gonna have her waste my shit, so I gave her a mini shot, and held in my laugh when she coughed it down.
“What have you done? I know Turkey smokes, because Rian is always taking his weed.”
“I’ve smoked,” she asserted, before biting her lip. “I’ve also… taken molly. I have some, if you wanna take some.”
My eyes expanded. “Oh, you naughty girl… only if you take some with me.”
Autumn tried to tamper down a smile, but she couldn’t. She skipped out of my room and came back with a half-filled water bottle, shaking it up.
“It’s powder, so you put it in the water and then down it. Nasty as hell, but it gets you there.”
I take the bottle from her and down half, choking down the chalky taste. I handed her the bottle and took a swig of my beloved cognac, since I’d rather have that on my tongue than the molly water.
Auty killed the water bottle and threw it in my trash can. “Okay. We have like thirty minutes before it hits. I guess I really won’t need my jacket.”
“Perfect,” I cheesed. “Go close your door, and meet me outside.”
Auty, game for once, did as I said, and only when I heard the front door click, did I spring into action.
Phone.
Wallet.
Purse.
Mom’s keys.
I made sure Auty’s door was closed, and eased out of the front door as quiet as I could.
Hearing the door close twice could have alerted them, but I knew I could get us out of trouble if it came down to it.
Nothing was stopping the both of us from having fun.
As soon as I closed the front door, I sprinted down the porch steps. After pressing the unlock button, I threw the keys to Auty.
“You drive!” I hissed, since she had a permit and I didn’t.
She squealed as she caught the keys and in ten seconds flat, we were on our way to the Birch.
Auty was being scary, so we parked in the neighborhood off Elm Street and walked the rest of the way. But by then, I began to feel the molly and the hennessy, and my feet felt like I was walking on clouds.