Chapter 16
I don’t have long to wait. Seven days after the curse, I get a note—special delivery—from Honeyrose. It is delivered by a griffin, which means she spent a fortune to make sure it got to me fast.
It is short, to the point, clearly written in great haste, and it makes my heart sink.
I tried to stop them, it reads. Working hard on more viable solution.
Eight days after the curse, the chimes over the door tinkle, and a familiar male figure male figure steps into my shop.
My traitorous heart leaps and, within moments, plummets. Not only is it not him, it’s not even a customer.
It is, unmistakably, a prince.
And not just any prince.
It’s Drizen, crown prince of the kingdom of Parciful.
Parciful, an island two miles across and two and a half miles long.
Parciful, which has a crown prince exactly my age.
Parciful, which has been trying to marry into my family for generations.
I sigh.
“Tanadelle, it is I! Prince Drizen, crown prince of Parciful, duke of the Dintmore Rocks, earl of the Dintmore Bay, and twice winner of the Parciful Royal Fish Race, here to unlock your heart’s desire—and my own—and the desires of our two kingdoms—and bring an end to this foul curse!”
I blow out a long breath. “Hi, Driz.”
“My darling, I came as soon as I could,” he announces. “To think that you have been stuck in this foul, lissome town for the better part of a week.”
Sasha, who has been sitting behind the desk with me during this extraordinary display, whispers, “What does he think ‘lissome’ means?”
“Almost certainly not what it does mean,” I murmur.
“My darling Tanadelle,” he shouts, drawing closer. “Come, let me kiss you, and break this fell curse! You shall soon be free!”
I groan.
“You’re not actually going to kiss that, are you?” Sasha whispers.
“I think I’d better, or he’ll never leave.”
“Have you ever kissed anyone before?”
I shoot her a look. Now is not really the time to admit that I have not. “Hush,” I whisper. Driz is drawing ever closer, managing to flare his little half cape dramatically with every step.
“Do you think he practiced that in front of a mirror?” Sasha squeaks. I glance at her. She has one claw in front of her mouth, and is clearly trying not to laugh.
“Absolutely,” I sigh. “All right,” I say, more loudly. “Hold on.”
I stand and step out from behind the desk.
Driz freezes, dramatically. “My dear, my darling, have you lost your will to live so soon?” he says, his gaze roving over my pretty linen gown and embroidered vest. “Your clothing is so shabby! Make haste, let us complete this happy moment and return you to your former despondence!”
And here I’d been thinking I looked quite nice just this morning.
“Look, Driz,” I say, approaching him. “Don’t take it personally if, well…if this doesn’t work.”
“Hah!” he laughs dramatically, a puff of his breath blasting my face. “If this doesn’t work? The very idea! Come, let me take you in my arms!”
Before I have the chance to do much more than take a breath, Driz pulls me into his arms and bends me over backward in the most alarming fashion.
“My darling Tanadelle, how long I have awaited this most incipient moment!” He is, despite my proximity, still speaking at a volume intended to reach a distant audience.
I try not to cringe. Horribly, behind him, I hear the chimes over the door tinkle.
Fabulous; my first customer in two days.
Sasha isn’t going to be the only witness to this extraordinary event.
“Close your eyes, my darling Tanadelle, and let us move together into the next and happiest chapter of our lives!” He pauses, mere inches from my face. “Hah! Chapter. Must remember that one for later. Chapter. In a bookstore!”
And then he delivers a kiss upon me.
A long, wet kiss. After a moment, I open my eyes. He is still bent over me, his eyes closed in rapturous display, his mouth warm and still upon mine. My neck hurts, and if he were to drop me, I’d have no way to save myself from falling.
I hear a muffled snort from somewhere over my left shoulder.
I shoot Sasha a panicked look. She is, impossibly, still trying not to laugh.
And failing.
“I’m sure that’s long enough,” she finally says, her voice shaking with suppressed laughter. “Your Highness, sir, please.”
Driz opens his eyes and withdraws his face from mine, though not by much. I am still bent over backward. “Ah, my darling Tanadelle, your heart’s desire has been thus unlocked. Shall we walk together, hand in hand, into the vasty future?”
He straightens up, still beaming at me, and pulls me more or less upright. Somewhere behind him, someone begins to clap. I can hear Sasha coughing, almost certainly trying to cover her laughter.
“Bravo, bravo, Your Highnesses,” a deep male voice—a mirthful, deep male voice—breaks in, and I feel my heart sink to my feet. Of course. Of course the cursed, damned attractive, aquaphobic pirate had to walk in on this display. Of all days. Of all people.
“How do you feel, my darling, my sunflower?” Driz asks, his voice still somehow a massive booming echo. “Does the curse lift from your shoulders like petals from mica?”
“Petals from mica?” I hear Sasha whisper.
I can’t look at her. I certainly can’t look over Driz’s shoulder at him.
“I just don’t want you to get your hopes up, Driz,” I murmur. “In case it didn’t work. This is apparently the trickiest kind of curse to break. Very deep magic.”
“Nonsense, my heart’s desire, my one true light,” Driz says, beaming at me. “Long have our families desired this day, long have we waited to be assured that our futures are thus intervened!”
“I passed out when I was cursed,” I point out, hopefully reasonably. “It was very obvious when it happened and I don’t really feel…well, I don’t feel any different now that you’ve kissed me. I’m really not sure it’s been broken.”
“You’re simply overwhelmed.” Driz smiles.
“Let us walk out of here, becoupled!” He takes my hand and begins to pull me toward the door.
My eyes, of their own traitorous accord, fall upon the pirate who is, irritatingly, leaning against a nearby bookcase, looking about as rakishly attractive as any person has any right to look.
Also, absolutely delighted. How utterly humiliating to be kissed—my first kiss, which I will admit to nobody—in front of the most infuriatingly handsome man I’ve ever set eyes on.
And a man who stole books from me a week ago, and yet has the blazing impertinence to stroll back into my shop like he’s an old friend dropping by for a visit.
I command my too-fast-beating heart to slow down, at least metaphorically, and scowl at him.
“I’ll be back in a moment, and then you owe me some money,” I snarl.
Well, I try to snarl. It’s hard to snarl when a prince with a creative vocabulary has just mashed his face against your own and is now dragging you toward the great outdoors, convinced he’s broken the curse laid upon you and that you’re about to be married and live happily ever after.
Driz steps through the open door and sighs happily, then tries to pull me through.
I, of course, walk straight into the invisible wall that keeps me inside Beulah Bonecrusher’s Emporium of Books.
Driz, confusion moving across his features, looks back at me.
His arm is extended behind him, his hand holding mine, but he can’t pull it—or me—outside.
He gives an experimental yank. I don’t move.
He lets go of my hand and pulls his own away, and stares at it, then reaches back through the doorway and takes mine again.
Nothing happens.
He looks up at me, his expression moving from confusion to almost heartbreaking disappointment. I’ve always liked Driz; he’s a bit ridiculous, but he’s not a bad person at all.
“Please don’t take it personally,” I say as he releases my hand again. “Everything I’ve read suggests that this curse really will be very hard to break.”
“But the kiss,” he says, finally speaking at a normal volume. “True love’s kiss?”
“We’d have to be in love, for one thing,” I point out. “And we’re really just friends, you have to admit. And even if we were in love—that’s not a certain solution, either. Although the scholarship is a bit muddled on that point.”
“Oh, Tandy,” he says, still speaking at a more normal volume. The naked vulnerability on his face breaks my heart. “I really hoped.”
“I know,” I say. “It’s truly all right; we would never really suit each other, you know.
I’m perfectly well here for now. I’m completely safe”—at least from most normal threats, as long as they’re not pirates in tight pants with anti-theft-breaking hexes hidden somewhere about their persons—“and in truth, I’m rather enjoying the experience.
My friend Sasha”—I look behind myself; both Sasha and the pirate have drawn close, clearly not wishing to miss out on any of the drama—“she’s been marvelous. I’ve even learned some basic magic!”
“And the other one?” Driz says, his eyes flicking behind me.
“A local irritation,” I say, lightly.
“Bash, Your Majesty,” the pirate says at my shoulder, reaching past me to offer Driz his hand. “Delighted to make your acquaintance.”
Bash, I think. Unusual, but…well, it suits him.
Driz takes his hand with an expression of mild confusion. “Your Majesty is my father, don’t you know,” he says, a little of his native bonhomie returning to his voice. “ ‘Your Highness’ will be sufficient.” I wonder if he’s ever shaken anyone’s hand before.
“Oh my actual dragon goddess,” Sasha whispers, somewhere behind me. “Best day ever.”