Theo
Creak. The soft click of my bedroom door pulled me out of sleep. I blinked and looked toward the doorway, my brain slow and foggy.
“Nora?” I asked, my voice thick with sleep. “Is that you?”
“Sorry,” she said quietly as she stood there in the moonlight, her arms wrapped loosely around herself. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“Everything okay?” I asked, my mind still half buried in dreams.
“I keep thinking about the fire,” she admitted. “Every time I close my eyes, I’m right back in my bed, trapped in the flames.”
And that was all it took for my chest to tighten.
She’d put on such a brave face today, doing all those steps to put her life back together. Even going to the wedding.
But she was scared. Scarred from the danger that had almost taken her away from me.
“Come here,” I murmured, scooting to the center of my bed and lifting a corner of the blanket. Because in the hazy logic of sleep, having her climb in beside me felt like the most natural thing in the world.
She padded across the carpet in the moonlight, and the mattress dipped slightly as she settled under the covers.
“Would you mind holding me for a little while?” she asked after turning to face me. “I think that will make me feel better.”
“Oh.” The request caught me a little off guard, but there was no real way I could say no to that. “Sure.”
I rolled onto my back and lifted my arm, letting her curl in beside me. She settled against my side, resting her head lightly on my shoulder.
My arm slid around her without much thought, pulling her a little closer.
For a while we just lay there like that, her head resting against my shoulder as she snuggled in, her hair brushing softly across my bare chest.
I breathed her in without meaning to. She smelled like vanilla and coconut, the scent wrapping around me in a way that was comforting.
And even though it had been so long since I’d had a woman in my arms like this, it felt… right.
Like something my body had craved long before my brain had realized what I needed.
“You’re safe with me,” I murmured into her hair.
She squeezed herself tighter to me, her fingers brushing against my chest, tracing an absentminded line along my ribs.
I’d forgotten how good a simple touch like that could feel. Making a slow, steady heat pulse through me.
“This is nice,” she murmured softly.
Her voice was sleepy. Content.
“Yeah,” I said, my voice lower than usual. “It is.”
She tilted her face up, her eyes meeting mine in the dim light of the room.
For a moment, neither of us moved. We just studied each other in the darkness.
Then she shifted a little closer under the covers. Close enough that I could feel the soft brush of her camisole against my chest.
She felt warm. Soft. Like she had been made to fit perfectly against me.
For two years I hadn’t known if I’d ever feel comfortable lying this close to another woman again.
But right now… lying here with Nora in my arms… it just felt right.
Like somehow it had only been a matter of time before we ended up here.
“I’m really glad you were there last night,” she whispered after a moment, her breath warm on my neck. “When the fire started.”
“I’m really glad I was there, too.”
Glad that I’d followed my drunken impulse to check in on her.
“You’ve always made me feel so safe,” she said softly, her fingers tracing lightly along my chest.
“I’m glad to hear that.”
Because in a world where men didn’t always treat women the way they should, it had always mattered to me to be the opposite of that. Even though I was taller, stronger, and carried a certain amount of power and influence because of what I did, I never wanted anyone to feel threatened by it.
Nora let out a small sigh and seemed to settle deeper against me.
Without thinking, I sighed, too.
She felt so nice.
Her hand drifted across my stomach until she found mine, threading her fingers through it. Then she lifted our joined hands and pressed a soft kiss to the back of mine.
“You deserve to have someone show you how wonderful you are,” she murmured.
“And what exactly do you mean by that?” I asked.
“I don’t know.” She laughed lightly, her fingers running a line down my chest. “I just think after our dance tonight, you probably deserve to experience a little more romance in your life.”
“I do?” I arched an eyebrow.
“Yes,” she said simply.
“And who do you think should be helping me with that romance?” I asked, enjoying the direction this conversation seemed to be going.
She shrugged lightly against me. “I guess someone you’d want something like that from.”
“Ah yes,” I said thoughtfully. Then, unwilling to let her off the hook quite that easily, I added, “Anyone specific you have in mind?”
“Maybe…”
“Care to share with the class?” I asked when she didn’t say anything else.
“No.”
But I could feel the way her cheek lifted against my shoulder like she was smiling.
I let out an exaggerated sigh.
She giggled, the sound warm and soft in the quiet room.
And apparently, my filter was nonexistent at this hour because the next words slipped out before I could think too hard about them.
“You’re really cute, you know that?”
“Do you really think so?” she asked playfully.
“I do,” I said. “Thought it for a while actually.”
“Really?” She gasped, sounding genuinely surprised.
“Yep.” I exhaled slowly. “Which is bad.”
“Why is it bad?”
“Because I’m not supposed to have a crush on my daughter’s nanny,” I said. “And I’m definitely not supposed to want to kiss her while she’s lying in my bed.”
“You want to kiss me?” she asked quietly.
“I do.”
And probably not just stop there, either.
The thought flashed through my mind before I quickly shoved it away. Wanting to kiss Nora was already pushing things way too far.
“Well,” she said softly, “it’s okay if you want to kiss me. I promise I won’t be mad if you do.”
“That’s very good to know,” I said, heat swirling low in my stomach at the idea.
Then, as if to prove just how okay she was with the idea, she leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss against my cheek.
“See?” she murmured. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“Definitely not bad,” I mumbled.
In fact, it was very nice. Nice enough that delicious heat spread throughout my whole body, from my chest all the way to my toes.
Her fingers slid up the back of my neck, curling gently into the hair at the nape.
My breath caught because that felt nice, too.
A second later, her lips brushed along my jaw. Soft and unhurried. The gentle caress making something low in my stomach tighten.
“I didn’t realize how much I needed this.” She sighed, resting her forehead lightly against my temple.
“Me too,” I said, allowing my hand to slowly trace a line down her arm.
She shivered lightly—a shiver of pleasure that told me she really did like being here.
“I could stay like this for a while,” she murmured.
My fingers drifted back up again, lingering at her shoulder.
Neither of us spoke.
The quiet stretched between us.
The kind of quiet where every breath felt louder than normal.
She shifted again, her face turning toward mine, and my heart started beating faster as I felt the heat of her breath closer to my mouth now.
“Nora…” I said, not even sure what I meant to say.
“Yes?” Her eyes flicked down to my lips.
Then back up.
And for a second, it felt like the whole world went still.
And then—
She raised herself up slightly and leaned in, allowing her lips to brush against mine.
Softly.
Tentatively.
The kiss barely lasted a second before she pulled back, as if checking to see if it was okay.
But instead of answering her with words, I shifted my position until I was hovering over her, and deciding to be brave myself, I bent closer and kissed her again.
Slowly.
Carefully.
Like I was still figuring out if this was real.
Her hand slid up along my jaw as the kiss deepened, our mouths parting slightly as we leaned into each other again and again.
“You’re so beautiful,” I murmured against her mouth, each kiss growing warmer.
More certain.
Less careful.
“So are you,” she breathed back, her voice barely more than a whisper.
I kissed her again, letting my hand slide along her back, pulling her closer until there was barely any space left between us.
Her lips parted slightly beneath mine, and something inside my chest warmed at the quiet invitation of it. I followed instinctively, deepening the kiss as she melted further into me.
A soft sound slipped from her throat as our mouths moved together again, slower now, exploring.
My fingers slid into her hair, cradling the back of her head as I tilted my face and kissed her more fully.
She responded immediately.
Her hands gripped my shoulders, drawing me closer as our mouths opened together, the kiss turning hungrier.
When her tongue brushed mine a second later, a rush of heat shot through me, sharp and immediate.
“This feels so good,” I said, drawing in an erratic breath. “You taste so good, Nora.”
“So do you,” she said, her breath catching in a way that told me she was feeling the same intense feelings I was.
Needing more, I tightened my arm around her waist.
When she reacted by arching into me, her legs tangling with mine beneath the sheets, every coherent thought in my head vanished. Every nerve in my body lit up, like all the restraint I’d been clinging to for weeks had finally snapped.
Like every instinct in me had suddenly decided this was exactly where I was supposed to be.
And even though this feeling was new—this kind of overwhelming desire for someone—it suddenly wasn’t enough.
I needed more.
I shifted over her, rolling her gently onto her back as our mouths found each other again.
“Nora…” I breathed against her lips.
“Theo,” she answered with a soft moan, the sound making my chest constrict.
When I began pressing slower kisses along her jaw, then down the curve of her neck, she tilted her head back, giving me more room, her fingers in my hair as I trailed my mouth lower.
This feels unreal, I thought, my control slipping fast.
And all the soft little moaning sounds she kept making only made it worse.
My hand slid along her side as I kissed the warm skin of her shoulder, the thin strap of her cami slipping slightly beneath my fingers.
It would be so easy to slip it the rest of the way down. Just one small movement and…
My thumb brushed slowly along her collarbone as I hesitated, caught in a quiet battle with myself over just how far I should let this go.
Her fingers slid into my hair then, gently pulling my face back up toward hers.
“Theo…” she murmured, her voice soft and breathless. “Don’t stop.”
Our mouths found each other again instantly, the kiss deeper now, hungrier than before.
And just as the moment threatened to tip completely out of control—
The bathroom light flicked on, sudden brightness cutting across the room.
And that was when I saw Alisha.
Standing there in the doorway, wearing her fluffy white robe, our baby girl nestled against her chest.
“What’s going on here?” she asked, her horrified eyes moving between Nora and me.
And the hurt in her voice sliced straight through me.
My stomach dropped. “Alisha—”
My chest jerked with a sharp inhale as my eyes snapped open.
The room was dark again.
Silent.
Empty.
I drew in another breath, feeling like I’d just been dragged up from underwater. For a moment, I lay there disoriented, my heart pounding hard against my ribs as I tried to catch my breath.
Then the room came back into focus.
The bathroom light was off.
The door was closed.
The house was quiet.
Nora wasn’t here.
And Alisha wasn’t, either.
Because she was gone.
I dragged a hand down my face, my chest tightening as reality crashed over me.
It was just a dream.
Just my mind twisting together everything I’d been trying not to think about.
But even knowing that… the guilt still clung to me.
What am I doing?
My heart pounded wildly against my ribs as I stared up at the ceiling.
I turned onto my side and buried my face into the pillow.
The moment my eyes squeezed shut, something inside my chest cracked open.
And then a quiet, broken sound slipped out before I could stop it.
Two years.
Two years without her.
Two years of learning how to breathe again in a world where she didn’t exist anymore.
And still… the idea of moving forward made it feel like I was leaving pieces of her behind.
Like loving someone else meant betraying everything we’d been to each other.
Everything we’d promised.
My fingers curled into the pillow beneath me as the grief and guilt tangled together inside my chest until I could barely breathe around it.
Logically, I knew she was gone.
Logically, I knew she wouldn’t want me to spend the rest of my life alone.
But knowing something in your head doesn’t always make it easy for your heart to follow along.
And tonight, lying there in the dark, all I could think was—
I wish I didn’t have to move on without you.