Prologue #2
But the truth is, I don’t know what I want.
My whole life is ahead of me, a road with too many turns and possibilities.
I can’t make up my mind because I’m afraid I’ll make the wrong decision.
So I put it off instead, waiting for a sign that will never come.
All I know is that my hesitation isn’t about the audition.
It’s not about the school that Mom went to when she was my age.
She sighs again, then picks up the hem of her long dress and stands up. “I’m going to get changed too. Shall we watch a movie together?”
“Sure. I’ll pick something out.”
She nods and leaves the room. Now that her shoes are off, her footsteps on the stairs are almost silent. Instead of reaching for the remote, I tap my phone and start “Mockingbird” again.
The guy’s voice sends a pleasant shiver through me; something inside of me responds. My eyes close, and I let myself be carried away by the sound of his singing.
The familiar words suddenly sound different.
They create a different resonance, a different effect.
He takes Dad’s song and makes it his own.
He’s singing about a little bird; he’s singing about me.
But he isn’t. Because he’s not Dad, just some guy I don’t know who’s singing about a girl who’s both free and lost at the same time.
Something cracks inside of me. It’s crazy, because it’s just a song, just a guy, just a voice. But it’s more than that. He’s more than some guy. And it’s not just some song; it’s my song, and that’s why I have to know his name.
I close YouTube and open Instagram. My fingers flying, I type in the name of the band.
I find them immediately. They don’t have many followers, just a few thousand, but I couldn’t care less.
I scroll through the images until I find one where all four band members are tagged.
Two minutes, that’s all it took for me to find his name.
Easton Coleman.
I have to smile, and before I can think about whether it’s a good idea or completely crazy, I tap the message symbol and begin to write:
APR 17 AT 10:06 PM
mockingbird:
I saw your video of “Mockingbird.” You’re amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a better version.
I send off the message and immediately wish I hadn’t. I couldn’t be more of a fangirl. My cheeks are burning with embarrassment. Easton will think I’m completely crazy when he reads it. Maybe if I get lucky, it will end up in his message requests, never to be seen again.
I look up when someone pulls the headphones off my ears, which haven’t been playing anything for a few minutes. Dad is standing in front of me. I was so focused on my phone that I didn’t even notice him and Mom coming back into the room. They’ve swapped their formal clothes for sweats.
“Which movie did you choose?” He sits down next to me and pulls Mom onto his lap. The two of them are so in love. They don’t act like they’ve already been married for twenty years. When they’re together, sometimes they behave more like teenagers than I do.
I suggest the first movie that pops into my head.
Pride and Prejudice is one of Mom’s favorites; we’ve watched it so many times together that we can almost recite it by heart.
But right now, I’m not really focusing. Not when Mom chooses the movie on Netflix, not as the opening credits flicker across the screen, and not even during the first fifty minutes.
Then after fifty-two minutes, my phone lights up with a notification from Instagram, and the last remnants of my attention fade away.
APR 17 AT 10:58 PM
eastcoleman:
Then you don’t know the original very well, do you?
I have to smile, and my heart suddenly starts shifting strangely in my chest. My fingers fly over the display, typing an answer.
That’s the moment everything begins. The moment when everything is still fine.
I don’t realize yet that I should be enjoying it. This moment, this evening. With my parents on the sofa next to me, laughing quietly, and me holding my phone, looking at Easton’s message.
I don’t know how much it matters, because moments like this are too easy to take for granted.
Until they’re gone.
Easton
Three months later
Rock Star Liam Bellamy Dies in Tragic Car Accident
Los Angeles. Sad news: Rock star Liam Bellamy (? 38) died in a tragic car accident on the night of Monday, July 11. His wife, Laura Bellamy (? 37), also succumbed to her injuries a few hours after the collision.
The exact cause of the accident is still under investigation.
Lowlight Recording reacted with shock to the tragic death of the star: “Our hearts are broken. Liam has been part of our family for seventeen years. We are devastated by the loss.”
Liam and Laura Bellamy are survived by their eighteen-year-old daughter, Rayne Bellamy.
No. No. No.
This can’t be true. I stare at my phone in a daze, but there it is, black on white. Liam Bellamy is dead. He’s dead, and so is his wife. A car accident. It’s all over the internet.