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mockingbird:
Hailey stood me up again. It makes me sick.
eastcoleman:
I can’t believe it! Again? Have you told her she’s acting like a jerk?
mockingbird:
No. She wouldn’t understand what my problem is, and then I’d get mad at her for being so ignorant. Then we’d fight, and it’s impossible to fight with Hailey.
eastcoleman:
Why?
mockingbird:
A fight with Hailey wouldn’t get me anywhere. At least, it wouldn’t get us any closer to a solution. Besides, there are people you can fight with, and some that you can’t. Do you know what I mean?
eastcoleman:
I believe that people shouldn’t fight at all, so . . .
mockingbird:
Sure, it would be nice if we didn’t need conflict and everything was always great.
But that’s kind of unrealistic. I mean, I can argue with my parents since I know that it won’t have any effect on our relationship afterward.
Maybe it’s different because they’re my parents.
But I still think it works that way. With some people it’s better not to argue, even though they’re hurting you, because it doesn’t do any good and they just end up being pissed off at you.
That’s how it is with Hailey, and I’d just be frustrated because I can’t tell her that what she’s doing is hurting me.
eastcoleman:
Let her be angry. She can’t always stand you up and think you’ll just let her keep doing it because you’re an understanding friend. Which you definitely are, to be clear. But Hailey still shouldn’t be able to do whatever she wants to you.
mockingbird:
Yeah, I know. It’s really frustrating.
eastcoleman:
I get it. Can you explain again what you mean when you say there are people you can argue with? I don’t want you to ever not tell me what you really think because you’re afraid of arguing with me.
mockingbird:
It’s different with you. It’s a bit like with my parents. I don’t know if I can explain it properly. Maybe what I’m saying doesn’t make any sense to you at all.
eastcoleman:
Fess up, Birdy.
mockingbird:
It’s about trust. I think the more you trust someone, the easier it is to argue with them. Because you know they’ll still be there after the argument. You know nothing will change, even if you disagree. I think being able to argue has a lot to do with security and respect.
eastcoleman:
That makes a lot of sense. But it also means you don’t trust Hailey.
mockingbird:
I don’t. Not like that.
eastcoleman:
Do you trust me?
mockingbird:
Yes.
eastcoleman:
That makes me feel better, even though I hope we’ll never argue, just because we won’t have any reason to.
mockingbird:
Me too. But I don’t think it would be a big deal even if we did.
eastcoleman:
I hope not.