Chapter 21 Dave
“So, you want to tell me what’s going on?” I ask over a plate of stir-fried veggies and tofu.
Everything has been perfectly cozy since earlier this evening and I don’t want to do anything to break the mood. Because I’m smitten. I’m so, so smitten! I just want to live out my little domestic fantasy until reality strikes. I’m not stupid. I know reality will strike soon. Just because Kris is letting me fuck and feed him doesn’t mean we are a real couple. Or that he’ll want anything to do with me in an hour. But I have this moment, and I can dream.
Only, Kris’ phone has been buzzing like crazy, threatening to break the spell and force us to return to the real world now. I’m not ready, damn it. But I am kind of curious what all the buzzing is about.
“It’s probably the insurance company wanting to arrange the inspection,” Kris explains around a large mouthful.
“Is there a reason you don’t want to talk to them?” I raise my eyebrows at him.
He takes another bite.
“Besides the fact that they’re assholes?” he says.
“Yeah, beside that.”
He pokes at a piece of bok choy as he considers his words.
“I’ve, uh, been having second thoughts about rebuilding.”
I stare at him until he has the courage to meet my eyes.
“For real?” I ask. He nods and my heart starts racing.
What does it mean if he doesn’t rebuild? Is he going to be a barista by my side forever? What the fuck am I even thinking? I don’t want to be a barista forever. Why would he? I try to organize my thoughts.
“But isn’t this just about paying your claim?” I manage. “You don’t have to rebuild, do you?”
“There are several ways to arrange things.” He stabs the bok choy with his fork.
“So do whichever you want”
“I will, except I need a plan. But I’m not sure, I’m already over the hill. It’s hard to explain. I don’t want to think about it anymore.”
“Get the money and then don’t think about it,” I crack.
He nods.
“Yeah, I know. I’ll call them back.”
“Would it help if I go with you?”
“It couldn’t hurt.”
We lapse back into silence. I search for something to get the vibes back on track.
“You like the tofu.” I point to his plate. He’s eaten every bit of it.
Kris makes grumbling noise.
“I won’t tell anyone, I promise,” I tell him.
“Mmph.”
His phone buzzes again, and he groans. I can’t let this go on.
“When do they want to do the final inspection?” I ask.
“Tuesday or Friday afternoon.”
“Let’s do Tuesday.”
“Alright.” Kris reluctantly gets out his phone and taps out a message. “There.”
His expression is dark, like he wants to throw his phone across the room.
Damn, I need to lighten things up, I think, and start babbling about my writing.
“So, my teacher liked the last draft of my script.”
“Yeah?” His face brightens.
“He complimented my characters.”
“Rock on. Does that mean you’ll be setting off for Hollywood soon?”
Looks like Kris has thought about me leaving, too. Funny. I wonder which one of us will be the first to go. And more importantly, if we’ll keep seeing each other when it happens.
“I’m not setting off for Hollywood, but it’s given me some hope.”
“Solid.”
I flip a cashew into my mouth. My mind can’t help spinning. How do people keep relationships going when they’re not together all the time? I’ve lost touch with just about everyone from my past as I’ve changed direction and moved. It’s got to be more than just good intentions. It must take commitment. Fuck me, that’s the thing I’m worst at in life. I don’t have any problem starting new things, but I’m a lousy finisher. No follow through. No attention span. Can’t stick to one thing. Always on the move. I can almost hear my dad’s voice yelling in my ear.
All of it’s true, but my feelings for Kris are different. He’s the first thing I’ve yearned for with my whole heart. I want more than a cozy fantasy. I want a cozy forever. And it doesn’t have to be cozy. It can be wild and messy and real as long as it’s with Kris. How do I show him what we could be together? I scan my boring apartment and get an idea.
“Want to listen to some music? I have some old speakers I never hooked up and could use some help. Plus, my playlists are super stale.”
“Are you for real?” He drops his fork.
“I absolutely am,” I tell him.
“Show me what you’ve got!”