Chapter 23 Dave
I can’t believe I’m getting stood up by Kris. The only good thing is I’m still at my apartment, not stranded at the restaurant alone. I’ve got to admit, I didn’t see this coming. We’ve been so in-sync recently, I thought this would be the perfect night to take things to the next level. Instead, it’s been a nightmare.
He was supposed to be here an hour ago, and he hasn’t called or texted or responded to any of my messages. Just poof, gone. I’m not sure whether to be worried he’s going to screw me over or that something’s happened to him. But I feel in my bones that it’s the latter. Which is turning my stomach into knots.
As one hour bleeds into two, I begin to hope that he is a giant dickhead who’s determined to break my heart, because it would be far better than if he’s hurt or dead.
At hour three, I take off my date clothes and lie on the couch in my briefs, scrolling mindlessly through social media. Now I hate humanity, and I’m scared shitless about Kris,
I can’t bear the thought of eating anything, but I force myself to get a glass of water, so I don’t end up in the hospital like him (?) because that’s the only explanation that makes sense at this point. I grab my headphones and look at the music playlist Kris painstakingly assembled for me, and I want to cry.
This is not typical Kris behavior. I think back, and he has never once said no to an invitation or flaked on me. He’s never even been late. Like, this is not just me having a big ego by assuming he likes me. I know he’s been worrying about the insurance stuff and lately, but I can’t imagine how that would result in him ghosting me.
I can’t handle the music, so I scroll to that screenwriting podcast. At least that doesn’t remind me of Kris, even though it kind of does. Maybe it will settle me down. But of course, it doesn’t. Somehow it makes me even jumpier that this guy is droning on and on about character motivation. I’ve got real problems here buddy, let’s not obsess about this one little detail. But, of course, that’s why people listen to this kind of thing: to dive into the details. Fuck.
I check my phone again. It's impossibly quiet. No notifications except my reminder to wash the dishes. Fuck you reminders! I’m not washing the goddamned dishes today! I try to listen to the podcast again, but it almost seems like another language. It’s been almost four hours since Kris was supposed to come by. The mind-numbing drone of the host is almost hypnotic now. I find myself repeating the same phrase over and over like a prayer. Let him just be an asshole, an alive and well asshole.
When the phone rings I practically jump off the couch. Somehow, I must have fallen asleep, and the buzz feels like an electroshock to my brain. I snatch the phone up and see the caller is “Unknown, Maybe Screenland Memorial Hospital.” My heart is pounding so hard it’s difficult for me to hear whoever’s talking when I manage to answer the call.
“Hello?” I say, wishing I was anywhere in the world except here in this moment.
“Dave, thank God you’re there.” It’s Kris. My relief is so dramatic I make a little cry/yelp noise before managing to speak.
“Are you okay?” I gulp the words out.
“I’m fine, but I’m at the hospital. It’s Jer.”
“Oh no,” I gasp.
“It’s okay, he’s alive. But when I got home earlier, he was passed out on my doorstep, and I couldn’t wake him up. And I thought about calling you, but then I figured you tell me to call emergency, so that’s what I did, and then they got here, and I had to ride in the ambulance. And he still didn’t wake up, and then we were in the emergency room, and they had all these questions for me, because Jer was still out and I’m the one who found him. And I’ve literally been Googling him trying to piece together any background information I can. You know, these companies have a lot of information about each of us.”
“Yeah, I know,” I respond. I’m practically in a meditative state now because Kris is alright. He’s had a hellish night, and I’m concerned about Jer, but Kris is just fine.
“So, I’m sure you can see where this is going,” he starts again. “Before I knew it, my phone was out of batteries, and I didn’t want to leave him alone here, but I didn’t want you to think I skipped out on you, so I sweet-talked one of the ER nurses into letting me use the phone.”
“Jer’s still in the ER. And you sweet-talked someone?” I don’t doubt him. I just want to be sure I heard Kris right.
“Yeah, they’re going to admit him, but there aren’t any beds available yet. And I saw how you talked to the insurance agent and made some mental notes about how to deal with people better.”
I catch myself smiling at the phone.
“Sounds like you’re doing just fine.”
“It’s been awful.”
“I know, but you did well.” I wish I could give Kris a hug right through the phone.
“I did my best.” His voice sounds weary. My heart squeezes.
“Of course you did your best. Is there anything you need? Do you want me to come wait with you?”
“No, it’s terrible here,” he hedges.
“I know. I’ve been to hospitals before. I don’t mind coming.”
The line goes quiet. I can almost hear the gears in Kris’ head turning.
“I want to say no because it’s too much to ask, but I want you with me.”
“See? How hard was that?”
“Really hard. I feel like a selfish prick.”
“I’ll remind you of that the next time you turn the music up to eleven. This is just good friend stuff.”
“If you say so” he says slowly, like he’s still unsure.
“I do say so. Text me the info and I’ll head over.”
Hospitals are not my favorite place, but I’ve been around them enough that they don’t feel strange and alarming. They’re familiar and unpleasant instead. I arrived a few minutes ago, texted Kris, and am now waiting for my visitor badge. I guess even in the middle of the night there’s a line. Kris practically bursts through the inner doors. His hair is flowing free, and his eyes are bloodshot.
“You’re here!” He jogs to my side, then seems uncertain what to do with himself. He settles on an affectionate punch to the shoulder.
“Oof. How’s Jer doing?”
“The nurses finally got him awake and stabilized. They think he’s got some kind of infection in addition to an ongoing liver condition he’s dealing with. They want to run more tests and put him on some fluids before they decide on a course of therapy.”
“Sounds like you were paying close attention.”
“I was. I don’t think Jer has anybody to look after him in LA. He might have a grown daughter in Kansas City, but I didn’t want to reach out without asking Jer first, and also someone needs to be with him immediately. He’s mostly sleeping now, so we just need to wait until a bed opens up.”
The line advances so it’s my turn. Kris helps me with all the necessary info for my visitor badge.
“So, you want to stay? Isn’t your inspection happening soon?” I ask him as we move to the waiting room chairs.
“Is it?” He checks the time on his phone and groans. “Fuck. Yeah, in a few hours.”
“I can stay with Jer,” I volunteer.
“No,” he says flatly.
“But I can. You can go home, get some rest, and do the insurance stuff. I’ll stay with Jer.”
Kris seems to fight a battle in his head before saying anything.
“It’s not fair to you,” he mutters.
“I really don’t mind.” I put my hand on his and meet his eyes. “Really.”
He blows out a breath and pinches the bridge of his nose.
“Alright, but I’ll make sure it’s okay with Jer first. He’s awake now.”
I watch him go and try to tune out the sounds of distress I hear all around me in the waiting room. Everyone here is having their own flavor of a terrible night, and I feel for them. There’s an older woman coughing to my left, and a mom with her crying kid to my right. All of them wishes they were anywhere else. A cop show plays silently on a monitor bolted to the wall. I try to watch it for a few minutes until Kris comes bounding back.
“It’s cool with Jer if you wait with him. But you don’t have to do this. It’s my thing not yours.”
“I don’t mind. We’re a team, right?” I say, looking up at him.
Kris doesn’t answer for a bit. It’s like his brain is too full of thoughts and emotions.
“Right, boss. Thank you,” he says and heads for the exit.
“So, he roped you into babysitting me, that sly devil.” Jer is propped up in his hospital bed looking even worse than he did before. But he’s awake now and in his own room.
“I’m here voluntarily, Jer. Kris didn’t want to leave, but he had his insurance inspection this morning,” I explain.
“They’ve really given him the runaround, haven’t they?” Jer shakes his head, then winces.
“They have.”
“Ahh, he’s a good kid. I hope he gets everything he’s owed.” He closes his eyes like he’s remembering something in the past.
“Me too.”
We sit silently for a while, then Jer taps me on the arm.
“You know, I’m glad he found someone like you. Of course he’ll always have Jules, but it’s good to have more than one person in your life that cares about you. I haven’t even managed that.”
“Gramps sure liked hanging out with you.” I know how important it is for patients to keep their spirits up, and don’t want Jer to feel down right now.
“The old geezer at the cafe? Yeah. He was pretty cool.” He smiles.
“And Kris nearly missed his appointment to be with you.”
“He’s got a soft heart, Skipper does. I could see it from the beginning. Like a wild wolf when he first started coming around, hungry, scared, and mean. But he’s always had a good heart underneath.”
It’s hard to imagine Kris as being anything other than the cool, swaggering man that barged his way into my life a short time ago. But Jer’s words ring true. I bet he fought hard to become the man he is today. And he did it without losing his heart. Goddammit, I love him.
“How did he get the nickname Skipper? He’s never mentioned it before.”
“I gave it to him. When we first met, he was about 16 and looked like he hadn’t eaten in a week. But no matter what, he’d show up on time and take charge, not matter how rotten the task. The other young guys gravitated towards him, none so much as Jules. They were like a captain and his first mate.”
“I don’t know, my dad was in the Navy and the idea just stuck. Plus, I could see how much it bothered him when I said it. I don’t think he understood that I meant it as a compliment. But in time I think he did. I’ve always been proud of that boy. Not many of them turned out as good as he did.”
I press my lips together, trying not say something sappy about how wonderful Kris is. I think Jer understands because he pats me on the arm and closes his eyes. I’m barely keeping it together, which isn’t helped by the fact that I haven’t eaten or slept in a nearly a day.
Before this happened, I knew I needed to talk to Kris about the future. Now, it seems more urgent than ever. I can’t let him drift away because I was too scared to tell him how I feel. The time to act is now.