Chapter 6
Chapter Six
Facing the piglets, Theseus took the rope off his shoulder. “I take it capturing a piglet isn’t something with which you will help me.”
Ariadne rolled her eyes and gestured down at her white dress. After tromping through the forest, it was streaked with green plant stains and coated with dirt along the hem. “In this dress? Of course not. I intend to stand here and laugh while you get coated in manure and mud.”
“So glad I can provide your entertainment for the day.” Theseus grimaced as he took a step forward and his boots sank into the slop all the way past his ankles.
It took effort to pull his foot free, the mud making a sucking sound, as he trudged another step.
“Now I understand why you tagged along. It wasn’t to help but to enjoy my muddy humiliation. ”
Ariadne smirked as she swung the gate closed, standing in front of it. At least she would make sure none of the piglets escaped, since the gate couldn’t be locked from the inside.
Theseus lumbered several more glopping steps deeper into the pigpen as he formed a loop at the end of the rope. He had some vague notion of how to snag something with a rope, but he’d never done it himself. It wasn’t like he had a great need to wrangle pigs as the king of a library.
As he neared, the piglets scattered with a squeal, running in all different directions. He threw the rope, and the loop plopped in the mud after flying a laughably short distance nowhere near any of the piglets.
Yep, just as terrible as he’d feared.
He trudged back to Ariadne, dragging the end of the rope behind him, and dropped the rope beside her. It would be more trouble than it would be worth. With his lack of skill, he would be better off just grabbing a piglet with his bare hands, then popping the rope over its head afterwards.
She didn’t say anything about his ditching the rope. Instead, she crossed her arms and leaned against the stockade next to the gate, her mouth twitching as if she were trying and failing to hold back her grin.
Facing the piglets, Theseus waded into the slop once again. The leather of his boots grew soaked until wetness squished between his toes with each step.
He tiptoed closer to one of the piglets, trying to get as close as possible.
The piglet looked up, and he dove. His hands brushed along the piglet’s furry back before it slipped out of his grasp.
Theseus landed in the mud with a splat. Mud squished through his clothes and splashed onto his face. He spat, shuddering as he pushed himself onto his hands and knees.
After this was over, he would have to beg on hands and knees for Queen Hippolyta to send a message to Philostrate, asking for a fresh set of clothes.
What he was wearing had already been growing rank after six days in the dungeon.
The towel and bowl of water he had been given to wash every three days had been barely enough to wash himself, not his clothes.
Ariadne’s snorting laugh rang out behind him.
He shoved to his feet and raced after the piglets, slipping and sliding and falling into the mud. He tried to tackle another piglet and once again fell face-first in the muck.
As he pushed onto his elbows, he panted as he swiped mud from his face. This wasn’t working. He wasn’t fast enough to outrun or outmaneuver the piglets.
He glanced over his shoulder. The sun was already past noon. He was running out of time.
Theseus rolled into a sitting position in the mud. At this point, he was already covered head-to-toe. More mud didn’t matter.
Chasing the piglets just riled them up. Like any animal, he needed calm and patience and stillness to lure them into ignoring him.
For a few minutes, the piglets continued to squeal and race around. But as Theseus remained still and silent, the piglets calmed and went back to snuffling in the mud.
He stayed frozen sitting in the mud, all but holding his breath as one of the piglets wandered closer and closer toward him.
The piglet nipped at his knees, its still toothless gums knocking against his kneecap.
Theseus lunged and wrapped his arms around the piglet’s middle. The piglet let out a squeal and squirmed, nearly shooting right out of his grasp. He tightened his arms around the piglet’s waist and hung on as the piglet dragged him through the mud.
With a twist, he managed to knock the piglet off its feet. Theseus scrambled to get his feet under him, and as he stood, he hefted the piglet. Its hooves flailed, kicking Theseus’s ribs and legs. He winced at the sharp scrape of the hooves even through his mud-coated clothing.
He hurried through the mud toward Ariadne and the rope at her feet. As he neared, he adjusted his grip on the squirming piglet. “Could you put the rope on him? Or is that helping me too much?”
Ariadne snorted a laugh as she picked up the rope. She leaned out to slide the rope over the piglet’s head, then past his front legs to keep him from just slipping out of it again. She moved gingerly, as if trying to avoid brushing against the muck liberally coating both him and the piglet.
Once the loop was tightened, Theseus set down the pig, rubbing at his ribs. He took the rope from Ariadne, gripping it tightly as the piglet lunged at the end of the rope, trying to escape. “I’m going to go lure the sow back here. Would you mind waiting here to open the gate for me?”
“I can do that.” Ariadne’s light blue eyes studied him, as if searching for the truth of his words.
If he was going to give in to the temptation to steal a gold-pooping pig, then this was his chance. He had a captured piglet. Instead of tracking down the sow, he could head for the Anywhere Door instead.
Even if he had entertained such a temptation before, chasing down this piglet had cured him of that urge. At this point, he just wanted to get that sow back with its babies as quickly as possible and be done with the disgusting creatures.
He held her gaze. “I’ll be back. And I’ll be coming in fast, so be ready with the gate.”
He had to lean his weight into the rope to drag the piglet through the gate and down the path. The piglet dug in its heels, then dashed in one direction until it hit the end of the rope hard enough to cause Theseus to stumble a step before he caught himself.
By the time he’d gone a few yards down the trail, his arms ached from the constant tugging. Still, it was better than carrying the piglet the whole way.
Sooner than he’d expected, he heard snorting and crashing in the forest ahead. He picked up the piglet, grimacing at its weight. He juggled both the piglet and the coils of rope as the piglet flailed and let out a loud squeal.
An answering, deeper squeal came from the forest ahead of him.
Time to go. Theseus spun on his heel and raced back the way he’d come as quickly as he could while hefting a fifty-pound piglet in his arms.
The crashing turned in his direction, the ground shaking beneath him. A bellow roared behind him, far too close.
The path sloped up hill. Theseus gritted his teeth and leaned into each stride. The piglet in his arms squealed and flailed wildly now that its mother was in sight.
If Theseus slipped, that giant pig would be on him in a second. He could almost feel its hot breath on the back of his neck.
The stockade rose into view, wedging between the cliffs on either side of the valley. Theseus dug for the last strength in his legs to sprint the last few yards as he shouted, “Ariadne! The gate!”
She was already swinging it open, her eyes widening as her gaze fixed on something behind him.
He didn’t dare turn and look. At the gate, he chucked the piglet as hard and far as he could, the baby animal squealing as it flew through the air. The rope slithered to the ground, falling off the piglet.
He didn’t see the piglet land, as he was already rolling out of the way, though he knew the sloppy mud would cushion the landing and keep the piglet from harm.
The ground shuddered as the giant sow thundered by in a blur of dark fur, gleaming tusks, and flashing hooves.
By the time Theseus scrambled to his feet, Ariadne was shoving the gate closed. He joined her, and together they slammed it closed and hefted the locking bar into place.
Once the gate was securely closed, Theseus sagged against the wood, still huffing panting breaths. “Was that as close as I thought it was?”
“Closer.” Ariadne leaned against the stockade next to him. “I thought you were pig-bait for sure.”
“What a way to go. Trampled by a giant pig.” Theseus rested his head against the stockade. “King Oberon never would have let my successor forget that I had been killed off in such a manner.”
“Another reason to be glad you weren’t killed.” Ariadne grimaced. “Anything that gives King Oberon of the Court of Revels a reason to gloat should be avoided.”
The mother pig’s satisfied grunting came from inside the stockade, answered by higher pitched grunts by the piglets.
Theseus pushed away from the stockade, then peered between two of the large logs. The sow wallowed deep in the mud, the five piglets clustering around her.
“I see you have completed your task, King Theseus.”
He spun at the cold tone of Queen Hippolyta’s voice behind him. She stood on the trail, flanked by a cadre of eight swordmaidens.
“Yes. I have returned the mother pig to where she belongs.” Theseus plucked at his clothes. Dried mud flaked off and rained to the ground. “Please tell me my reward for succeeding in this task will be a bath.”
“The ocean is that way.” Queen Hippolyta jabbed her finger toward the horizon past the stockade, where the rocks ended in a cliff, giving a view of nothing but sky.
Theseus grimaced. He could tell even from there that the cliff would be far too high for a jump into the ocean.
It seemed he would be stuck wallowing in pig manure. That would make his dungeon cell so pleasant. Even the breeze through the barred window wouldn’t be enough to whisk away this stench.
* * *
Theseus paced as much as he could inside his cell, swinging his arms to get as much airflow to his clothes as possible.
He was still dripping seawater and mud onto the floor of his cell.
At least Queen Hippolyta had allowed him to take a detour to the beach and attempt to wash the mud off himself and his clothes all in one go.
He was now gritty with both drying salt from the seawater and the ground-in pig muck he hadn’t been able to scrub away in the hurried dousing.
The expected footsteps padded on the stairs a moment before Ariadne appeared, carrying a bundle of clothing and a towel. Another woman dressed in white carried a bowl and pitcher, presumably filled with water.
“Oh, good.” Theseus slumped against the wall. “Please tell me those clothes are for me.”
“Your steward Philostrate kindly sent clothes when he was alerted that you needed a fresh set.” Ariadne unlocked his cell door. She waved for the other servant woman to step in first.
The servant woman scurried inside, set the bowl and pitcher on the floor out of Theseus’s reach, then swiftly left, hurrying back up the stairs.
Ariadne set her bundle of clothes and the towel on the floor next to the pitcher.
Theseus held out his wrists. “I promise I won’t try anything.”
“I wasn’t worried.” Ariadne smirked as she unlocked the shackles around his ankles. She stood and reached for his hand. She unlocked first one manacle, then the other, letting them fall to clank against the stone wall. “You’d better hurry. You have ten minutes.”
She strolled out of his cell, shutting and locking the door behind her. She disappeared around the corner, but then her footsteps halted.
“Aren’t you going to leave?” Theseus peeled off his mud-covered shirt and dropped it to the floor well away from the clean clothes.
“Just be glad I’m standing out of sight and giving you that much privacy,” Ariadne called back, her voice coming from what Theseus guessed was the base of the stairs.
“Thank you for that consideration.” Theseus hurriedly stripped out of his foul clothes, washed, and put on the new clothing.
He was lacing up his boots when Ariadne reappeared, her mouth pressed tight against a grin. He straightened. “When you said ten minutes, you meant ten minutes and not a second more.”
“More than sufficient time, unless you’re the type given to preening.” She raised her eyebrow as she let herself into his cell.
He obligingly held out his hands.
As she clapped the manacle around his wrist, her fingers brushed against his skin.
Theseus stilled as he caught a whiff of the fresh, floral scent wafting from her hair. His skin tingled from her touch as he grew all too aware of her nearness.
It would be easy to close the distance and kiss her smirking mouth. He found himself swaying closer, the temptation churning inside him.
The second manacle clicked closed around his other wrist, the faerie steel cold against his skin.
He jerked back, giving himself a mental shake. What was he thinking? He intended to win Queen Hippolyta’s hand, not Ariadne’s.
Could he ask for Ariadne’s hand, instead of Queen Hippolyta’s, at the end of this? She was a trusted swordmaiden, for all that she still dressed like a servant.
Was she high enough in the ranks of the swordmaidens that she could ask for help for Theseus’s Court, if she became its queen? Or would she be cut off from the swordmaidens, kicked off their island and out of their Court?
He couldn’t let this attraction to Ariadne progress any further. For the sake of his Court, he had to marry Queen Hippolyta. It was the only way to guarantee the help of the swordmaidens.
“Ariadne, I…” He cleared his throat as she knelt to lock the shackles around his ankles once again.
“Yes?” She glanced up at him before turning her attention back to the chains.
What should he say? Did she even feel this same attraction that he did? Or would she just find it awkward if he said something? He coughed, his tongue all but stuck to the roof of his mouth. “Never mind.”
Ariadne stood, grimacing as she gathered up his dirty clothes and dumped them in the bowl half-filled with muddy water. She set the damp towel and empty pitcher on top before she picked up the whole bundle of stuff. She left his cell, locking his door behind her.
Theseus gathered his thoughts, his chest tight. “Ariadne?”
She turned and raised her eyebrow again. “Finally found your tongue?”
He couldn’t give in to the invitation to banter. “I have to win Queen Hippolyta’s hand. It is too important to my Court.”
He had expected hurt to flash across her eyes, her shoulders to slump, or perhaps even tears to form.
Instead, the corners of her mouth twitched, as if she was fighting a smirk. “I know.”
With a swift, precise turn, she headed for the stairs. The last glimpse Theseus had was of her long blonde braid swinging across her back.