Chapter 31. Ace
Ace
Tony wasn’t happy to see me back in LA. He drummed his fingers on the desk and stared at me until only military discipline kept me in my seat.
“What are you doing here? I thought you were in Chicago.”
“The job was done so I came back here to get my affairs in order and consider my options for the future.”
Tony’s eyes narrowed. “Are you leaving us?”
“I failed to protect my client, and as a result she was seriously injured,” I said.
“I’m here to face the repercussions, both professional and legal.
There may be lawsuits for negligence or breach of contract.
You’ll need to fire me because my reputation in the industry will be shot, and you need to protect the company.
I’ll understand if you blacklist me from working in the security industry altogether.
I’m clearly not fit for the job, and I’ll likely lose my certification anyway. ”
I wasn’t expecting his snort of laughter. “Is that it?”
“You’ll want these.” I put my security license, weapon, and my Stellar Security ID on his desk.
“I think you’ve watched too many cop shows,” Tony said.
“You’re supposed to wait for me to say, ‘Give me your badge and your gun’ and then you give a half-hearted protest, hand over the goods, march away, and then secretly continue to work on whatever case it was that got you suspended in the first place.
Although, those guys don’t usually beat themselves up. ”
I wasn’t in the mood for Tony’s playful attitude.
My failure to protect Haley weighed so heavily on me that I couldn’t sleep or eat.
I was barely able to function, but this was something I could do, a form of restitution that would ease the guilt that was gnawing at my stomach.
“There is no case to return to,” I said.
“The threat was neutralized, and the client is safe.”
Tony sighed. “Do you know what happens in the cop shows after the rogue officer solves the case and the bad guys are put in jail?” He pushed the license and gun toward me. “The chief commends him and welcomes him back.”
“This isn’t a police show.”
“And you didn’t fail your client,” he said.
“I talked to Haley. She was emphatic that you did nothing wrong. She said she insisted on going to the karaoke bar despite your vociferous protestations, and when things became serious, she followed your advice to leave. She also said that she begged you to save her friend and if you’d refused, she would have gone back herself.
Nothing was more important to her; not even her own life, so in a way, by going back, you saved her all over again. ”
“That’s sugar-coating it to the extreme.” I’d broken the rule about leaving a client unprotected and she’d paid a high price.
“I also talked to Senator Chapman,” Tony continued. “She expressed her gratitude for your actions in saving her daughter. She said she knew Haley, and there was no way you would have been able to change her mind about going to the bar, or saving her friend.”
I had been so certain that this was the end of my career in security that I almost couldn’t process what I was hearing. “So, no lawsuit?”
“No lawsuit. No termination. No loss of reputation. No blacklisting and no loss of your license.” Tony folded his arms behind his head. “But there have to be some consequences.”
Resigned, I nodded. “Of course.”
“You go see one of our psychologists. And for as many sessions as they think you need to deal with your issues. You can’t keep blaming yourself for things you didn’t do or had no control over.
It gives you the illusion of control but really it just allows you to avoid your pain and difficult emotions.
I get that you have a strong sense of responsibility and even stronger sense of protectiveness, but you need to find a different coping mechanism. ”
Puzzled, I frowned. Tony thought I repressed my emotions?
That was Haley’s coping mechanism. I was the one who’d shed tears for Matt and her father.
I was able to step up and take responsibility when things went wrong.
I blamed myself because I was, in fact, to blame.
I knew I wasn’t worthy because my parents had told me time and again that I was a burden, and if not for the money, they would have given me away.
“I know about that way of coping because I’ve been there.
” Tony’s leather chair creaked when he leaned back and put his feet up on the desk.
“I had a rough childhood—foster care, adoption, all that shit. I went into the army to make something of myself and lost my entire unit on deployment. I fell into that pattern of self-blame as a survival response. I never thought I was good enough. I didn’t think I could be loved.
And then I met Maria, who loved me despite my flaws.
I went to therapy. I got my act together and started this business to help other vets.
And that’s what I’m doing now. This knocked you down, but I’m telling you to get back up, and that starts with talking to a professional.
I’ll set up the appointment today. Where are you going to be based?
If you want to stay in Chicago, we have an excellent psychologist on staff and Jordan’s got more than enough work to take you on. ”
“I’m going to stay in LA,” I said. “It’s home now. I’ve lived here for the last two years.”
“You’ve lived in clients’ houses and hotels,” he pointed out. “Whereas in Chicago, we’re still paying rent to Haley’s landlord for your room, and in Virginia, you own an actual house.”
“I’m putting that up for sale. There’s nothing for me there and no reason ever to go back.”
He drummed his fingers on the desk again. “If that’s what you want, but you take whatever assignment I give you without complaint.”
What I wanted was to be in Chicago with Haley. What I wanted was to be the kind of man who could give her the life she deserved—a life of security and stability, a life where one day she would sing and dance around the kitchen in joyful and utter abandon.
“That’s what I want.”
“I’ll set up that appointment today and you can head back over to Jessica’s place.” He gave me a wicked grin. “She just fired the third bodyguard I sent over. You’re the only person she’s been able to tolerate.”
Jessica was thrilled to have me back on her service.
“You’ve been down here a long time. I was worried you got lost,” she said from the doorway of one of the four suites she kept available for staff and guests.
I’d been unpacking my bag when my phone buzzed with a message from Chad, and I’d been distracted by the videos he’d sent of Dante’s Inferno playing the Backstop Bar.
“Sorry, Jess. I’ll be right up. Is the car here already?”
“No, we’ve got another ten minutes.” She walked in and leaned against the dresser.
Every room in her ultra-modern house was impeccably decorated in cool white and gray tones, including the spacious guest suites.
“I was delighted when Tony said you were coming back. I thought you never worked for the same client twice.”
“Circumstances changed.” I paused the video of Haley dancing on stage and singing “Born to Be Wild” to an enthusiastic crowd.
“Or maybe you’ve changed,” she said. “You seem different. Less hollow.”
“I don’t know what that means, but I’m the same guy I was the last time I was here.” I grabbed a handful of shirts, and she moved from the dresser so I could put them in the drawer.
“What were you watching?” she asked, studying my phone.
“A video of a gig at a college bar. A friend sent it to me. We have mutual friends in the band.”
“I love new bands.” She sat on my bed and patted the comforter beside her. “Let me see.”
I wanted to enjoy the videos of Haley singing with Dante’s Inferno in private, but I was in Jessica’s house, and she was paying the bills.
She was also a people person and genuinely interested in others, which was why she was so well-liked in the industry.
I didn’t know why her personable nature didn’t translate when it came to the bodyguards she’d fired, but I wasn’t about to start the job off on the wrong foot, so I scrolled to my favorite of the songs I’d heard.
Haley was center stage and she’d blown me away with the power of her voice.
“My friend Chad recorded their entire set. I haven’t seen it all, but this one stood out.” I handed her the phone and she watched, entranced, for the entire song.
“Their vocalist is amazing.” Jessica studied me intently. “Is she why you asked me to put you in touch with Stefan?”
“Yes, and thank you again for that. I couldn’t believe he took the time. She doesn’t even have an agent.”
“Stefan is a darling and he owed me.” Jessica smiled. “What did he think?”
“He told her she had an incredible voice and stage presence, but there were some things she needed to work on. He gave her his card and told her to call him when she was ready, and he’d come and hear her again.”
“Stefan doesn’t waste his time,” she said warmly. “He must really have thought she had something. I hope she follows through.”
“So do I.”
Jessica tipped her head to the side. “You like this girl, don’t you?”
“She’s a friend.” I wasn’t ready to talk about Haley with anyone.
The guilt of having failed her and then leaving her again coupled with Tony’s pseudo-psychological analysis was eating me up inside.
But Jessica was easily distracted. Aside from gossip, there was nothing she liked to talk more about than herself.
“Stefan said there were Oscar rumblings about your new role.”