Chapter 36. Ace
Ace
“I’m exhausted.” Jessica collapsed on her oversize white leather couch after a long day on the set.
“This movie better win me an Oscar because I’m utterly drained, emotionally and physically.
I don’t know how method actors do it. The more time I spend on set, the more I get into my character’s head, and sometimes I forget that I’m me. ”
“You’re still you,” I assured her. “I don’t think you’ll be picking up a gun and blasting your way through any corporate offices anytime soon.”
“That’s sweet of you to say.” She gestured to the seat across from her. “Sit down. Relax. We’ve hardly had a chance to catch up since you got back. Did you sort out your personal matter in Virginia?”
“I did. Thanks very much for giving me the time off.”
“No problem. They sent Jorge to replace you,” she said. “I swear that man never slept. He was awake when I went to bed, and when I got up, and anytime I got out of bed at night for a glass of water.”
“You must have felt very safe.”
“It was weird,” she said. “We weren’t a good fit. I like my bodyguards to reflect me. They need to look good, be well-dressed, and have mad protection skills.”
“I’m glad I made the cut.”
“You very much made the cut.” She gave me a calculated look. “How is your friend doing? The singer?”
“Very well.”
“Any new gigs? I’d like to hear her sing again.”
I knew I shouldn’t say anything. My personal life was personal.
But I’d just heard Haley’s song on her radio show—I never missed it—and I was so damn proud, and still reeling from the message it conveyed.
“She just debuted a new track on her radio show, and she’s posted her song online.
She’s doing her first live performance of her original music the day after tomorrow. ”
“She sings, performs, and she has a radio show.” Jessica ran a hand through her long blond hair. “Let’s take a listen.”
I streamed the song on my phone, letting Haley’s beautiful voice carry me back to Riverstone and the night by the creek when I’d cried for her father. I didn’t realize Jessica was watching me until the song ended and I looked up for her reaction.
“That was beautiful,” Jessica said, her voice curiously flat. “How do you know her?”
“We grew up together,” I offered. “I was friends with her brother and we served in the air force together. He died on active duty a few years ago.”
Sympathy creased her face. “I’m so sorry, Ace. I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories. It’s just, when you talk about her, and when we watched that video of her gig, and now when you listened to her music, your face changes. It makes me think she’s more than a friend.”
I opened my mouth to protest, and she held up her hand.
“I know it’s none of my business and you’ve been very careful to maintain that professional boundary, but I’m attracted to you, and you’re the only man that I’ve been attracted to who hasn’t been interested.
I’m not counting the ones who were married or in a serious relationship, and for some of them even that wasn’t an issue. ”
“I’m flattered, Jessica, but I don’t want to cross that professional line.”
“I’m not buying it,” she said. “I’ve had many bodyguards and other professionals working for me, and that line is not etched in stone. But you’re different, and I couldn’t figure out the reason until you showed me the video of that gig. And now, after watching you listen to her sing, I know.”
I shifted in my seat. “What do you know?”
“You’re in love with her.”
Pushing to stand, I crossed the room to the bar. I didn’t usually drink on the job, but I needed something to settle my nerves. “I don’t really think this is an appropriate conversation to have.”
“Come on, Ace.” She twisted on the couch so she could see me.
“You’ve worked for me longer than any of my other bodyguards.
You know things about me that no one else does, and although you’ve always kept your cards close to your chest, I’ve always considered us friends.
Your feelings are written all over your face.
If I had to guess, I think your trip to Virginia also had to do with her, and your grumpiness since you came back has to do with her as well. ”
I poured myself a shot of whiskey and downed it in one gulp. “I haven’t been grumpy.”
“Okay, how about brooding? Reflective? Unhappy? Take your pick.”
The whiskey bottle was looking pretty good, so I poured myself another shot. “I’d better go and do a security check.”
“I’ll come with you.” She jumped off the couch. “You can tell me what you’re doing in LA when the woman you love is in Chicago.”
I finished the second shot and seriously thought about having a third. “It’s complicated.”
“Love is not complicated,” she said. “It’s a gift. It’s precious and rare, and I’m not going to let you throw it away. I spend my life pretending to be in love and wishing it would really happen to me. And here you are literally in love and pining away—”
Third shot going down. “I don’t pine.”
“Yes, you do,” she said. “And it’s sweet and it’s beautiful and I wish you were pining for me, but she’s got your heart and the only reason you’re here is because you’ve clearly messed things up, so you need to go back to Chicago and make it right.”
The whiskey loosened my tongue and I spoke my fear out loud. “I’m not—”
“Good enough?” she interjected. “Worthy? You think she could do better? I know those feelings, Ace. I’ve struggled with them all my life, and I recognize the signs in you.
Fifteen years of therapy and I still have to fight them.
But if you weren’t good enough, she wouldn’t love you, and that’s what she’s saying in her song, isn’t it?
That song is about you.” Her eyes welled up with tears.
“God, I wish someone would write me a song like that. I sure as hell wouldn’t be on the other side of the country.
I’d be on the first plane to Chicago and I’d never look back. ”
Something niggled at the back of my mind. “Aren’t those the closing lines from your last movie?”
“I never said I was original.” Jessica pulled out her phone. “I’ll call my assistant and get her to book some flights. I feel like going to Chicago. There’s a show I want to see.”
Find your heart’s desire.
“Actually, Jessica… I already have a ticket.”