Chapter Ten #2
“And until then, you’ll be stuck as a…” I pause, wondering about the correct way to phrase it. “In your dragon form?”
Ninon nods to the group that’s starting to break up. “Until we’re strong enough to shift, that’s the case.”
I draw my bottom lip in between my teeth.
One of the things that bothers me most about turning into a dragon at night is the lack of control I have over it.
The sooner I can figure it out, the better sense I can get of this place.
Ninon came in knowing what to expect, like Atlanta said.
I don’t do well with showing up unprepared.
“I trust you’ve had a happy reunion?” Ozias asks from behind us, breaking me from my thoughts. “With the figment of your imagination, of course.”
Ninon raises her brows.
“I wasn’t sure you were actually here,” I explain. “I believe he’s attempting to tease me, and failing.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t go so far as to say that.
You look fairly riled to me.” He smiles, showing all his teeth.
I twist my head away from him. I enjoy his smile entirely too much.
It’s threatening to raise my spirits. “Now let’s eat before the night makes you both a lot less fun, but far more interesting. ”
Ninon gets hung up on his words, her lips pursing, but I crack a smile. “He’s teasing. And failing. Again.”
“You sure know how to take a stab at a man’s confidence.”
“And his chest,” Ninon responds, and I squeeze her arm in surprise, my eyes widening.
Ozias’s face brightens even more. “A woman of many talents.”
I shake my head, drawing Ninon to my side to follow after him. “I believe that joke was too soon, Ninon.”
“Alixor’s death should have been sooner, considering he chose someone who wasn’t even presenting herself for breeding, then proceeded to force himself on her.”
I can’t argue with her there.
Not until the smell of food hits my nostrils does my stomach twist to remind me how long it’s been since I’ve eaten.
The air is thick with the aroma of spices and the promise of nourishment.
The food is laid out similarly to how meals are served at home with a long table hosting an array of options from stewed vegetables, dried and fresh fruits, and roasted meats and fish.
We help ourselves to a stoneware platter and fill up with what we like.
Ninon has already filled her plate and settled at one of the communal tables with Atlanta, who beckoned her over.
I fill my plate lightly, unsure of how much is available and who still needs to eat.
“This is your first meal since last night,” Ozias observes, adding a serving of roasted venison to his plate.
“I wasn’t aware you were tracking my eating habits.” I keep my eyes on the food, choosing lightly, but wisely.
“You need energy, Kaisa,” he says as he adds more meat to my plate. “We have plenty for everyone.”
I know how much work preparing and providing food takes. In fact, it makes up the majority of our days back home. It would be one thing if I were contributing to this meal and then taking what I want, knowing I can and will procure more.
“When we’re able to shift at will, our need for sustenance is less. It took me a while to learn how to eat what I needed with so much time spent in my human form.”
“A dragon doesn’t eat?” I’d never really thought of it—I assumed they did.
“Our dragons are our celestial forms, and as such, don’t require anything.
Not food…” He pauses, lifting a small, round fruit, the color a deep purple.
I recognize it as one I’ve eaten before in Dyēus, but never saw in Nevoba.
“Nor any other physical desire, for that matter. Unlike these human forms of ours, which desire for much and ache with all our wanting.” He lowers the fruit in front of my mouth, his liquid gold eyes watching me.
For a moment, I think he might try to feed it to me.
Instead, I take it from him with my fingers and pop it into my mouth.
The sweet juice bursts across my tongue as I bite down. I hold his gaze as I swallow.
“And if I decided to stay as a dragon forever? When I learn to shift?”
“Your human self would feel a vast loneliness that your dragon wouldn’t be able to ignore.
Life is about balance, Kaisa, not about being one way or another.
You can have both.” I don’t have to ask him to explain.
I know it, I know the feeling because it’s what I felt all my life, living without this other piece of me.
I follow him to the table to sit with Ninon and Atlanta.
The small bite I had reminds me again of my hunger and I waste no time digging in.
The food is familiar and tastes of home.
I wonder if Thrace has retrieved Kalixta yet.
I wonder what the Sar Dyēus thinks of my crime.
I imagine Selnor’s rage at losing his son.
I chew hard and swallow harder. It feels wrong to feel sorry for him, for either of them.
I shouldn’t feel for his pain when I don’t regret what I’ve done.
It makes me wonder what kind of person I am, and what killing Alixor has unleashed within me.
We’re halfway through our meal when a woman with long pale, dust colored hair that’s shaved close to her head on her right side and light, sun-kissed skin comes to Ozias’s side. “Dyēus’s units are on the move.”
“That’s sooner than usual,” he says, which sounds like it ought to be alarming, but he goes on eating as if the news were nothing to concern himself over.
“We suspect they’re changing their pattern.”
“Are their movements consistent with ours?”
“Too early yet to tell.”
“We’ll get some keen eyes on it tonight so we can map their movements.”
The woman nods, her eyes locking on me for a moment before sliding over to Ninon and lingering. “I’ll gather volunteers.”
“I’ll join you.” Ozias stands, taking his plate with him. “Atlanta, will you make sure they get settled in the enclosures tonight? Then meet me at the wall.”
“Of course,” she says, wiping her hands.
“What wall?” I ask when Ozias and the woman walk off.
“We have a boundary wall that surrounds the Realm all the way to the mountains. It’s another line of protection against Dyēus and a clear boundary of the barrier for us here.
” She nods at their departing forms. “Issa handles most of the day to day, but there are occurrences when Ozias and I need to assist.”
Dyēus’s main base on the ground is at the edge of Nevoba’s hunting area. They keep soldiers there as the first line of defense in any rogue escape or attack. Though I have a mounting suspicion that may not actually be the truth.
“You told me no one tries to get out. So what are they there for?”
Atlanta rises and Ninon and I follow suit, carrying our soiled dishes to a collection bin where people take them away for washing.
“No one’s trying to escape, but we do have needs to fulfill that require us going outside the Realm.
Hunts, for example. But, as you know, hunting during the day is rather unsuccessful.
Anyone who can shift by daylight will often go out to sea to fish. ”
Food. They leave to feed their people. And Dyēus has a hoard waiting at the walls, not to protect us as they’ve claimed, but to stop the rogues and take them to use as collectors.
Dread coils around my spine, uncomfortable and threatening.
I want to scream at myself for all the lies I’ve believed all my life.
“So, going out to sea, that’s something you and Ozias do?” Ninon asks, unaware of my inner turmoil. She must have learned some this information already.
“Probably one of our more important tasks, yes.”
Desperation to repair the damage I’ve done grips me by the throat. “Is there anything we can do to help?”
Atlanta shakes head, her curls lively with the action. “You’ll both have plenty to do once you’ve settled into your forms.”
“I’d like to see how fishing is done,” I say. I enjoy the process of hunting, and I’ve always wondered about fishing, too.
“I’m sure Ozias would take you if you asked,” Atlanta says.
I huff out a breath. “Why would he?”
“I think he’d do just about anything you asked,” she says candidly, her flat intonation giving nothing away, which feels a bit like she’s trying to hide something.
“That seems rather reckless.”
Atlanta lowers her head to catch my eye.
“Your unique position has given us a new opportunity. You are going to do us a great service, Kaisa. You deserve to know the answers to any question you have, even if it’s as simple as how we fish.
” She finishes with a smile that melts away the lingering strangeness I sensed from her.
“I hope you’ll give our people the opportunity to see anything they wish to see for themselves one day. ”
“Right. No pressure, though,” I say flippantly, as if the fate of hundreds of people isn’t sitting upon my shoulders.
Atlanta tucks her curls behind her shoulders and scrunches her brows, shaking her head. “No, no pressure.”
“What’s this about?” Ninon asks, gaze flitting between the two of us.
“I can explain, as long as you’re comfortable with that, Kaisa?”
For a moment, I think of Ninon withholding her information about the Realm and wonder what it would feel like to keep something from her. The fleeting thought tells me I’m still hurt and I brush aside the feral thought. “Ninon can know anything about me,” I say.
“We do plan to keep this information to only a few of us. It’s too early yet to know if it will work, or if it’s even possible, and false hope can incite discontent.”
“Ninon can keep a secret,” I assure, and though I didn’t mean for it to sound criticizing, Ninon casts her gaze down to the ground. I take a steadying breath and soften my words. “I trust her with my life. Always. She won’t say anything.”