Chapter Twenty-Eight
I LIE ON my back in human form, my fists clenching as I stare up at the starry night.
I can’t stop the flow of tears. I’ve failed.
I have no chance of getting near Zhoric now.
No chance of stopping him. And what’s worse, I don’t know what he’s going to do with the ravaged.
I have to get up, but my body feels heavy and burdensome.
Inside, my dragon paces. I could let her out if I wanted.
She’s close to the surface and it would be so simple to unleash her and let her take her place in my skin.
Somehow, though, that feels like hiding.
If I were to armor myself with her scales and get close to the divinity she represents, all these feelings inside me would dim and change.
I would feel restless in a different way and for now… for now I don’t want that.
“Kaisa?” Ozias’s voice rings across the receiving room to the landing I’m still laying on. Footsteps hurry to my side.
His firm hands grip my shoulders and pull me up.
My glazed eyes catch in his golden stare. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? For what?” he asks. I look away and he gives me a gentle shake. “What happened?”
I shut my eyes. “I’ve ruined everything.”
“How?” Ozias implores. I can sense his face close to mine, and when I open my eyes all I see are his, full of concern.
“He told me to stay away. For good this time. It’s over.”
“No. No, Kaisa.” Ozias doesn’t let me look away, holding my gaze, holding my face. “You did it. You can bond with him now, no force necessary.”
My brows pinch together. “I don’t understand.”
“He’s pushing you away. To protect you. You’ve done something we didn’t even consider possible.”
My breathing is shallow. “Oh.” It hadn’t occurred to me that’s why he’d do what he did.
But now that I think of it, of course it is.
Why am I putting myself in danger and at risk?
For the love I have for Ninon. For my people.
Why do we do anything in this life if not for that?
Of course, there’s still a good chance Zhoric is lying.
Pretending to love me so that when the time comes, he can enact the bond first. It would be safer for me to believe that.
I swallow the lump in my throat. “It’s all well if he…feels something for me, but how will I ever get close to him now that he wants me to stay away?” It doesn’t matter that our bond is strong and ready to enact if I can’t get near him to do anything with it.
Ozias considers this, both of us looking out over the Sere.
The dawn is arriving and with it another dust storm rises from the deep Sere.
I remember each storm season well, and with it a gnawing hunger.
Ninon’s mother passed during a storm. The hunger along with our grief brought Ninon and I closer than before. I cannot lose her.
“There will be no more deaths,” I say. He turns to me, waiting, expectant. “The storms are coming for the season. Prepare everything you need. I’ll master shifting at will and during the day, under the cover of a storm, I’ll go to his rooms and wait for him.”
“And Thrace and Zhoric’s wards?”
“If he wants to protect me like you believe, they’ll let me in. Or else I’ll pull enough power into me to tear it down.” When Ozias doesn’t protest, I know he believes it would work.
“You are strong and wise. It’s a good idea, but it won’t be possible for you in so short a time.”
My frown is deep, unpleasant, and I’m about to tell him he doesn’t know what I’m capable of when he stops me.
“You won’t have to shift at will,” Ozias says. “I’ll go with you, and you can pull my power to maintain your form. I won’t let you put yourself unnecessarily at risk.”
“And you shouldn’t leave the Realm when it will be most at risk.”
“This is my burden as well as yours, Kaisa. I can replicate Thrace’s shield. I’ll make sure we arrive safely.”
I’m shaking my head. “You can’t though. Not with me. Not when I’m taking your power. Otherwise you would have done it when we were coming back from the beach.”
A flick of hesitation before his expression turns calculating. “Then that’s what we’ll practice. You holding your form while I maintain the shield. That, at least, we can accomplish.”
My features soften on a sigh. I’m so used to being the one caring for others, that to have it given to me so freely is a welcome relief. I shouldn’t take it for granted.
“I’ll gather our people this afternoon, and we’ll officially announce our plan. During the next big storm, we’ll have volunteers ready to send to Nevoba to warn them of the coming change and evacuate them from the caves while you and I go to Dyēus.”
I nod. “It’s so soon and yet so far.”
“It’s been long enough. It’s time this era ended,” Ozias says, taking my hands in his. “You’ll lead us into a new one, and together, all of us, will find our place in this new world and set it to rights.”
Both he and Atlanta have mentioned the end. But I can see it for what it really is. “It’s only the beginning.”
When Ozias looks at me, full of beautiful, endless hope, I grasp onto it and I don’t let go. I won’t fail.
After he leaves me, I can’t sleep, but I do eat and bathe.
I take my time readying myself. Ozias is going to share our grand plan with the people of the Realm.
He will tell them they will finally be free to transform and fly over this wide world and let the final piece of ourselves fall into place.
We will rejoin the world as conduits between this plane and the next, cleansing and carrying souls to the afterlife to be reborn again.
Once I’m ready, I leave my room, clad in a dusk purple skirt, each linen panel swaying easily on the breeze, revealing my tanned legs.
My shirt twists up around my neck to secure my breasts, showing the last faded trace of my mark at the bottom of my sternum.
I’ve transformed into this new creature, and yet I have never felt more myself.
As I stare at my reflection in the looking glass, my stomach clenches at the task that lies before me.
The betrayal I will perform on Zhoric. He showed me his heart.
He told me he’d love mine. And now I will rip his from his chest.
Ozias told me it wouldn’t kill him, but he cannot know that.
What Zhoric did hadn’t ever before been done.
Taking the god scale might unravel him. It will certainly expose him to his enemies—the elites who’ve been lying in wait for the moment his power dims enough to strike.
I turn away from myself and swallow hard.
Zhoric made his bed long ago. There’s nothing that can save him now.
It’s early evening by the time I leave my room and I fall into step with others on their way to the central square.
Excitement thrums through the streets directly into my veins.
I make my way towards where Ozias stands, with Issa and Ninon off to the side.
I don’t see Atlanta anywhere. I stand next to Ninon, and with a nod to me, Issa moves over to an older man and woman, and a younger, astonishingly tall man, who looks similar to her, though he has piercing blue eyes and a tanned complexion.
“Her parents and her brother,” Ninon whispers.
“Have you met them?”
Ninon’s smile is reserved as she gently waves in their direction. “I’ve been taking my meals with them. They’re very kind. Issa’s mom reminds me…” Ninon swallows as her words catch in her throat.
I hold her hand and squeeze. She doesn’t need to say more.
“Thank you all for joining me here.” Ozias’s voice thunders across the square. His eyes squint, searching the crowd. “Most of us have gathered, and so I’ll not delay any further.”
“Not unless you want to scream your announcement to the skies,” shouts someone from the crowd, drawing a healthy ration of laughter.
Ozias smirks good-naturedly. “I would rather save my voice for the moment we can all rejoice together.”
His words bring a palpable tension to the air, as restless as a bee’s beating wings.
“For those of you who have not yet met Kaisa, our newest addition to the Realm, she came to us with a unique ability. For her safety, and all of ours, I will keep the details of her mission a secret for now, but know this; in the next few days, the sky will be yours.”
Murmurs rise like the tide, sudden and close, then receding just as quickly as they came as Ozias goes on.
“All of you know that breaking our curse does not end our fight. When Dyēus falls, and it will, we will fight. We will scrape and claw our way to victory with all of our combined power, all of our combined strength, all of the love and community and respect we’ve built together over these many long years to stand as one.
We know Dyēus is divided. We will use that against them and we will take back the skies, even if it means shackling them down to the very land they entrapped us. ”
Eager shouts roar in my ears and I’m swept up in the fervor, wanting what Ozias is calling for all while wondering if this is the only way. But it must be. If there were any other means, Ozias and all those trapped here would have found their escape decades ago.
“I’m requesting an assembly of volunteers who will ride out to Nevoba when the time comes—already our allies among the farmhands and fisherman have disseminated information to those willing to hear the truth.
There are many who won’t or can’t, but in the coming days they will know, just as we all do, who they are really meant to be. ”
The crowd erupts in celebration. Smiling, joyful faces all around, and I’m smiling along with them, feeling their elation reverberate inside my very being as if we were one.
We’re so close. The people who have been here since the beginning or those trapped for years will finally know freedom. It’s what we’ve all hoped for.
Among the roar of elation, people start screaming. Among the sea of men and women, sections scramble and hunch, bowing down like a wave. A heavy weight slams into my shoulder and slides down my side.
For a moment I don’t understand where it’s coming from, because the truth is impossible. My arms react automatically. I catch her. I lower us to the ground. My mind’s not comprehending what’s happening, but my body knows, my blood freezing in my veins.
Ninon’s body lies heavy in my arms, still warm, but the weight of her…I’m familiar with this kind of weight. I know the stillness of a chest that’s had its last breath.
I blink hard, rapidly, hoping that each moment my eyes see nothing but dark, the light will return in hers.
But it doesn’t. She remains as she is, staring up at me, vacant and unblinking.
“Ninon?” Her name leaves my lips as a whisper.
My ears feel filled with linen, the sound of the crowd a ringing bell from some far off distance.
I stare, my eyes wide. Each blink lets loose a tear that falls upon her cheek.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. I can’t be too late.
I gasp and clutch her to me and squeeze my eyes shut.
Where I should hear the beat of her heart, there’s hollow silence.
I heave on the sob I’ve been holding back, the force of it threatening to choke the life out of me, and I’m tempted to let it.
To let this darkness that took Ninon take me too.
A hand comes to Ninon’s cheek and I snag their wrist in my grip, stopping them.
“Kaisa.” Issa says my name, her voice hoarse, like she’s been screaming. I snap my head up, my face split with gritted teeth, somewhere between agony and anger. She’s shaking her head, her mouth pulled in a deep frown.
I twist my head around; more people kneel around others. Ozias is shouting, pointing, a panicked rage in his eyes. I hear him call Atlanta’s name, over and over.
I pull in my lips, tucking in the scream clawing its way up my throat.
Zhoric. I told him. I told him about the ravaged. He said there was work for him to do. I never imagined he would annihilate them…for what? And now…and now…now I know exactly what I must do.
I look down at Ninon’s face one more time. I squeeze Issa’s wrist harder; she doesn’t so much as flinch. I meet her gaze, but she’s unclear, my vision veiled by unshed tears.
Carefully, so carefully, I give Ninon to Issa.
Another sob gasps out of me as I pass my trembling hands down the length of her arms and hold her cooling hands in mine.
I lean down and press my forehead hers, long and hard, before placing a kiss of equal force upon her head.
I breathe in the scent of her, sealing it into my memory.
I’m caving in on myself, heavy and buried under the weight of my growing grief.
I don’t know how I’m going to muster up the courage I need to leave her.
To do what I’m about to do. I lift my head, taking a long time to meet Issa’s eyes.
In them, I see the love that was blooming for my friend shed like petals down her cheeks.
“When I take the Sar Dyēus’s power,” I say to Issa, my voice shaking with each word, “and you can leave the Realm, find Haven or Antir. Tell them I sent you. They’ll help you.”
Understanding dawns on Issa, determination in her expression. She grabs the back of my neck hard and pushes her forehead against mine. “Go bring down that motherfucker.”
I nod jerkily. Still, I don’t move.
“Now, or he’ll stop you.”
I know who she means.
But I know, too, that I cannot be stopped. Not in this. Not now.
Issa pushes me and I stand. I walk backwards for as long as I can, searing the image of Ninon, dead on the ground in the arms of another, into my mind. People run in front of me, taking my view of her. Issa has curled her body down and around Ninon. Ozias comes her to side and I’m out of time.
I turn and run for the wall.