CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE #2
It’s all such a goddamn mess. I didn’t stick around to find out what Axel had in mind for Sylvie.
I don’t want to be in on any planning so she has yet another reason to believe I’m some fucking asshole trying to use her.
Axel isn’t an asshole either. I know his only motive is to get to the bottom of who’s putting Rena in danger.
I want that too. And I do trust that he wouldn’t sacrifice Sylvie to do it, but he would absolutely stretch things further than I’m willing to let them be stretched.
So would Jax—because Rena means everything to him.
All they can see is protecting her. I love my sister and would do anything to keep her safe.
Almost anything.
I won’t put Sylvie in the line of fire to do it. I’m not sure what that says about the kind of brother I am.
It’s after ten, and I’m on the rooftop, in our entertainment area.
I’ve been swimming laps, hoping to wear myself out so I don’t drown my sorrows in another vat of alcohol.
And as I’m coming up for air, my phone does that weird video-call ring.
Only one of my siblings would attempt that, and I’m pretty sure I know which one it is tonight.
I hoist myself onto the travertine, grab a towel, and check my phone to find the little princess’s face on it.
She doesn’t call me that often. It’s generally texting or video-chatting with the whole family.
I’m guessing Jax is behind it. Or maybe Axel.
Either way, I answer, excited for the opportunity to catch up.
“Hey, shortcake.”
“Hey. Nice view,” she says dreamily. Her pink-and-blonde hair is pulled back in a ponytail, her eyes are a bit tired, and that longing in her voice is because her husband practically has her locked down at their French chateau due to the issues they’ve had.
Still, she flaunts her bright smile. “What are you up to tonight?”
I rake my fingers through my wet hair. “Swimming.”
“Brooding,” she counters.
“Since when have I ever brooded?”
“You suffer in silence, my friend.” As if on cue, she plays Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Sound of Silence.”
A laugh bursts out of me. “Get outta here with that shit. You and Maddox and your well-timed playlists.”
“It’s a gift.” She beams.
Fuck, I’ve missed having her around. She lightens everything.
“Sure is.” I make myself comfortable on one of our cushioned loungers, sitting back with my arm bent behind my head. “So, catch me up on the babies and husband and all the family things. How are you, oh wise one?”
“Lyric and Lennon are good, talking up a storm. And so naughty that I’m pretty sure they’re my karma. Ty is the most amazing dad, but an even better husband. He’s busy saving his corner of the world. The rest of the family keeps life fun.” She widens her green-hazel eyes. “And I’m pregnant.”
“Congrats.” I shoot upright, unable to lounge with that news. “I didn’t know.”
“We haven’t told anyone yet, so don’t squeal to Axel or Jax or the rest of the family.”
I’m not sure why that chokes me up, but I have to clear my throat before I respond, “Well, I’m honored. And surprised—that you told me first.”
Her face softens, like that saddens her. “It’s been too long since you and I have shared something.”
“Yeah.” I glance at the twinkling cityscape, beneath the cloudy sky, and wonder how things change so drastically and stay the same, all at once. “So, you’ll have two-year-old twins and a newborn. In a house with other couples and other babies. Anyone ever tell you your life is weird?”
“Yeah.” She belts out a sleepy giggle. “You. And Jax.”
“Juggling motherhood is exhausting, huh?”
“It can be. I’m sure it’s not a life you can envision, but I’m fulfilled.” She swallows her own lump of emotion. “Makes me feel like Mom would be proud.”
“She definitely would.” I expel a choppy breath, harboring the same ache my brothers carry over Rena being so close to us yet a world away. “And I … I think you’re building an amazing life for yourself.”
It used to be mind-boggling that she was so young and wild, but so willing to shackle herself to a future that would have tighter reins than Axel had ever had on her. Marriage and kids weren’t really on my agenda, so I was surprised they were at the top of hers. But I think I see the appeal now.
“That’s why I’m calling.” She peers quickly over her shoulder toward the door. “Things have gotten pretty intense here. I honestly don’t know everything. The guys keep a lid on it until they can’t, and while that used to bug me, with all the little ones now, I just … don’t want to know.”
This is what I expected, so I don’t hold back. “Was it Axel or Jax who put you up to calling me?”
Her brows furrow. “Neither. You think they’d use me to manipulate you? And that I’d go for it?”
The fact that she knows what I’m referring to but is still indignant has me baffled.
“I considered it.”
“Well, they wouldn’t,” she scoffs. “And I definitely wouldn’t. Maddox called me.”
“Mad?” I repeat, struggling to keep up. “About what?”
“He said you met someone. That she’s great, but it’s messy.”
I huff a sardonic laugh. “That’s accurate.”
“Don’t tell me why it’s messy.” She peers over her shoulder again, nervous someone might walk in maybe. “If it comes down to it, I will have to make decisions that are best for this family. For Ty and the babies and everyone else here.”
“Of course you will.” My head starts pounding again, so I jump up and pace. “What the hell is going on, Rena?”
“You’re not getting it. That doesn’t matter.” She sighs, her eyes watery. “I want that for you.”
I shake my head. “For me to make difficult decisions?”
“For you to have someone to make difficult decisions for. Maddox didn’t tell me much, which is best. But if they’re pressuring you to leverage your relationship, it’s not coming from me.
Mom would want you to have a life like this—or your version of it.
Not kids necessarily, but whatever that looks like.
Choose it.” As easygoing as Rena is, she can’t mask the hint of panic in her voice.
That throbbing in my temple is mimicked in my thudding heart. “You guys have had more serious threats?”
“This is the life I chose, Cash. Like I said, I don’t know specifics. I’ve gotten really good at reading between the lines though, so I know enough. And you putting the good in your life at risk won’t make enough of a difference for what’s happening here.”
“I appreciate that.” I heave another ragged breath. “Being an adult fucking sucks.” That at least has her giggling again with an emphatic nod before I offer a more serious, “I’m always here.”
“I know.” She blows a kiss to the screen.
“I miss you so much. I gotta go, but I’ll call again soon.
Oh, and Maddox promised me real-time footage of you being whipped, so if you could really lean into it and give me one hell of a show, I’d be ever so grateful.
You know I live for glimpses of La Lune Noire mayhem and you guys making asses of yourselves. ”
“On it,” I deadpan. “Thanks.”
“Love you,” she warbles.
“Love you.” I end the call, toss my phone onto the lounger, and dive back into the deep end.
There’s a boulder planted on my chest. I’m so fucking stressed. There’s no way I could sleep after that. So, laps it is.
Maybe the most fucked-up part of all of this is no matter how twisted shit gets, all I want is to talk to Sylvie.
Which makes very little sense. We’ve had a handful of deep conversations.
That’s probably no big deal to her. But to me?
It’s everything. I’ve never talked to anyone like I find myself opening up to her.