Chapter 41
After another round of slow sex to start the morning, Bree finally asks the question I’ve been dreading. “Will you tell me what the fight was about now?”
“Jack was running his mouth. That’s it.” I don’t want to tell her because it will confirm everything she’s been saying from the start about people judging our relationship.
“About what though? That doesn’t make any sense. Miller said he was talking about me,” she pushes.
Dragging a hand through my hair, I sit back against the headboard. “Yeah, he was talking about you. I’m not going to repeat what he said, so don’t ask me.”
“How would he even know who I am though?” She sits up beside me.
I sigh, knowing she won’t let this go. “Jack was at the bar with me in St John when we met. He saw me checking you out and knows we left together.”
“And what? You told him about us?” she accuses, whether she means to or not.
“No, I didn’t say shit. We’re not close like that. He was only on the trip because other guys invited him. He’s a dick.”
“Okay, so why would he talk about me while you’re batting?” Reaching for her hand, I untangle it from the sheets, needing both the anchor of her touch to know we’re okay, and also to ease her anxiety.
“Because he recognized you as the girl from the island. He just got lucky and hit the nail on the head accusing us of being together.”
She drops my hand like it burned her. “Chase, this is not good. This can’t be happening. Oh my god.” Getting out of bed, she paces the length of his bedroom.
“It’s fine, Bree. No one else knows. Jack was just saying shit because he could. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“How can you say that?”
“Even if he says something, I doubt anyone would believe him.”
“You don’t know that. Maybe we should take a beat. Everything’s been happening so fast. You can’t be getting into fights because of me. That’s not cool.”
“I’m going to defend you, Bree.”
“You shouldn’t have to.” She screeches and stops pacing. The look on her face tells me I won’t like what comes next.
“This is too much,” she says, softly.
“What’s too much?” I ask, standing from the bed and crossing the room to pull her into my arms.
“I just. I don’t know.” Her voice is muffled against my chest.
“What don’t you know?” I ask exasperated.
She squares her shoulders and takes a deep breath, a mask sliding over her face when she looks up at me and takes a step back. “I don’t know that it’s worth it.” The words land as intended.
“It?”
“I just don’t see how this is going to work.”
Barely containing my hurt, I point between the two of us. “You mean this. Us. Me.” When she only looks at me, I lose control. “Just spit it out, Gabrielle. You wanted to do this, so do it. Are you saying I’m not worth it? That we aren’t worth it.”
“It’s against the policies. I told you that when you first came into my office.”
“The team doesn’t fucking care! You’re the only one hung up on this. You were literally asking about wearing my jersey in public not even a week ago so that can’t be what this is about. What’s really going on?” I throw my hands up and turn my back on her.
“I’m not this person, Chase. I’m not a cleat chaser.” That came out of left field. What is she talking about?
“Whoa, what the fuck?” I stop pacing in front of the window and spin back to face her. “Who the fuck called you that?”
“You know that’s what they’re all thinking! First, I’m close with Miller. Now, you. That guy probably said as much too, didn’t he?”
“This isn’t about what he said. This is about you constantly trying to run away from this.”
“I’m not running away! I’m making the hard choice and doing what’s right.”
“Fuck what you think is right. Don’t I get a say? It’s my life too.” This is a losing battle. I can see it in her eyes. She’s terrified and she’s making a run for it.
“You deserve better than this.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t cheapen our relationship.”
“What relationship? We’ve barely even had a chance.” The words are like a slap to the face.
“And who’s fault is that?” Nothing I say right now is going to make a difference. She’s made up her mind.
“That’s not fair,” she whispers.
I can’t do this back and forth anymore.
“No, what’s not fair is you doing whatever this shit is right now. Hope it was worth it.”
“Can we just take a minute and talk about this later? I don’t want us to say something we’re going to regret.”
“Too late for that.” I sigh.
“I should go.” She picks up her stuff and I walk her to the door, hating that she started this when I leave after tonight’s game for an away series.
She did what I was afraid of, and I can’t exactly blame her for that. Bree has never wavered from her stance on keeping our relationship a secret. She’s never hidden from me how much this could impact her career.
But this is more than that, and until she decides to open up and truly let me in so I can see everything happening inside that big beautiful, brilliant brain of hers, there’s nothing I can do to win this fight.
This round may be over, but I’m not going anywhere. I’ll fight for us even when she can’t and even if who I’m fighting is her.