Chapter 12
Jensen
I can’t decide what’s worse about this entire situation. The fact I’m so deeply indebted to Beck that it’s quite ridiculous, or the fact I’m not that upset about it.
Every moment of yesterday should have absolutely sucked, but at each downturn, Beck was there…and made it better.
It didn’t take too long between the four of us to pack up my tiny apartment. After the plate throwing, I decided to take Beck’s advice and just leave whatever I didn’t want.
Unloading everything at Beck’s place didn’t take long either. I picked the guest bedroom farthest away from him as possible, and thankfully, Beck didn’t make any flirty remarks about me sleeping in his bed again.
It had to have been abundantly clear to everyone yesterday that my patience was maxed out. Even Lucie didn’t say a teasing word when we picked Dottie up. Although it didn’t save me from waking up from messages today in our group chat.
Therapy Dupe
Lucie
Let’s get brunch today. Mandatory girl time.
Callie
I agree! Zenith at 10?
Reagan
The chef there is hot, you know I’m there.
Emma
Count me in!
Lucie
It’s a date. See EVERYONE there soon!
I don’t bother with a reply and toss my phone to the end of the bed with a groan. My eyes fall shut again. I swear I could easily sleep another two hours. I’m not sure what mattresses Beck buys but they are heaven on earth.
Settling deeper into the covers, I sprawl my legs out, fully prepared to ditch girls’ brunch, but when my legs aren’t immediately met with the weight of my clingy dog, I sit up.
“Dottie?”
I know she slept in here last night, but now she’s nowhere to be seen. Forcing myself out of the cozy bed, I pull on some sweats then brush my teeth and manage the tangled mess that is my hair.
Looking in the mirror, I’m tempted to pull myself more together, but that’s silly… This is my new reality—living with Beck—he might as well get used to the no makeup, messy bun, no bra look.
With the first step out of my room, I smell the sweet cinnamon scent and there’s a twist in my stomach. At the stairs, I hear what sounds like an audiobook. Dear god, help me.
I walk into the kitchen just in time to see Beck wearing sweats and spreading the frosting over cinnamon rolls. Dottie sits patiently at his feet, completely oblivious to the fact that I’m here…but Beck notices.
He looks at me with a bright smile and those damn glasses on his face. He taps on his phone pausing whatever book he was listening to. “Good morning.”
“Morning,” I mutter, walking over to the barstools on the other side of his island. “You stole my dog.”
Beck chuckles. “Is it stealing if she came willingly?”
That’s not at all surprising. “Thank you for taking her out this morning and letting me sleep.”
Beck looks at me then shakes his head. “I guess I’m just roommate of the year.” He pulls a cinnamon roll from the rest and plops it on a plate. “You hungry?”
My eyes find the clock on the stove. It’s almost ten already and with the looks of this pastry in front of me and the man handing it to me…
Yeah, I’m not going to brunch.
I take the plate from him and do my best to contain my smile. “Thanks.”
“So, do you want to eat in silence or do you want to work on those ground rules you mentioned needing?” Beck asks, holding out a fork.
I take it with the click of my tongue. “I can’t believe this is actually happening…but after yesterday, it seems it would be smart for us to talk about this temporary arrangement.”
The corner of Beck’s mouth turns up before he takes a bite of his breakfast. As he chews he rolls his hand for me to continue on.
Hell, I guess I do somewhat have to lead this, don’t I?
“Okay, well, I’ll just be here while I look for a new place. I can pay—”
Beck cuts me off with his best imitation of the Taboo buzzer. “Wrong. I don’t need or want your money.”
“Beck—”
He cuts me off again. “My first ground rule is that you quit suggesting to give me money. If this were Callie or Lucie, I’d do the exact same thing.”
My mouth opens then closes. I guess I hadn’t thought of it like that.
I kind of hate thinking of it that way, actually.
I love Callie and Lucie, and frankly, if their men weren’t around, I would expect Beck to do this.
But that stupid girlish crush I have on him really only wants me to believe he’s doing this for me because I’m special.
Ay, I’m hopeless.
“I guess you’re right.” I sigh. “If you don’t want my money, I can make my peace with that…but no freeloader jokes. I offered to pay and you declined—that’s on you now.”
Beck chuckles. “Fair. What else you got?”
I’m not entirely sure. I threw out this idea of ground rules when he was flirting with me yesterday, but then Miles said something about friends with benefits as we were leaving.
Yesterday most definitely was a day I’d like to soon forget, but those three words have been sitting in the back of my mind. It had to have come from whatever conversation Dex and Beck were having, but did Dex suggest friends with benefits…or Beck?
I must sit in my ruminating silence a little too long because Beck starts again. “Look, we don’t have to make this a big deal. Let’s just agree that ground rule number two is to be adults about this. If I do something that pisses you off, then tell me.”
“Telling you has never stopped you before.”
Beck gives me that smirk of his. “We’ve never lived together before.”
Dammit, those are words I never thought I’d hear coming from Beck—don’t hate them—didn’t need to hear them. “I guess you’re right. We’re…roommates.”
The word hangs with thick tension in the air.
Even though it’s temporary, all of whatever this is between us feels heavy.
I don’t know why I said it like that, but with the phrase “friends with benefits” in the back of my mind, and all the pushback I’ve given him over the past few months—I don’t know, roommates feels like the first firm definition of our relationship that I can put out there.
We’re not exactly friends, definitely not enemies, and acquaintances feels wrong when it’s clear we both want to sleep with each other—at the very least. Or, well, it’s clear to me that the attraction is mutual, but the degree of it is not.
I like him, but I also don’t want to have to change for him either. That’s what my last boyfriend wanted out of me—change—and I refuse to go through that again. Part of me knows Beck isn’t like my ex, but according to my plans I’m on a relationship hiatus anyway.
It’s not for not knowing who I am or trying to be alone. I simply just want to be a single girl in her twenties.
I cut my cinnamon roll with my fork as I continue to think. Beck’s made his interest known and with me now living here…putting it on the table might actually solidify our terminology from roommates to friends and I can get over this crush faster…or get under it with no strings.
Stabbing my fork into my first bite, I nearly choose to stuff my mouth to keep the words from coming out, but then I drop my fork.
“Beck…I don’t know if this qualifies as a ground rule, or just something I think I need to put out there.
It’s probably going to make me sound absolutely crazy and random…
” I hate this. I hate this. “One thing I don’t think I’ve really said before is that I don’t want that traditional, cookie-cutter lifestyle.
I’m not looking for a relationship right now.
I don’t want to ever be pregnant or put my career second to a man’s.
That’s not me, and it will never be me.”
Beck studies me and I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin. Deafening silence hangs for two whole seconds before Beck speaks. “Jensen, I—”
Whatever words were going to come out of Beck’s mouth get cut off by someone banging on the door, sending Dottie into a barking fit which leads to the clatter of Beck’s fork as he drops it from his small jump-scare.
“Beck, open up!” Callie yells through the closed door. “I hate the cold!”
Another knock comes, then I hear Lucie. “Jensen, we know you’re still here.”
They can’t be serious. They actually could not have come at a worse time—what the hell?
Beck mumbles curses and small threats as he walks to the door. He barely gets the handle turned before Callie, Lucie, Reagan, and Emma come barreling into his apartment.
“What the fuck?” Beck stammers, while Dottie beelines around him to greet all the new people. “Dottie, bite this one,” he says as Callie kneels down to pet her.
Callie goes into her baby voice. “Oh no, sweet girl would never.”
Lucie walks right up to me and hooks her arm around my shoulder. “We’re actually here for this one. I knew she would try and bail on girls’ brunch, but alas, today is mandatory.”
“Pushing it, Luce,” I grit out.
Her smile doesn’t waver. “I promise it’ll be worth it.”
No, no, no. I’d rather not go right now.
Beck must read that thought all over my face. “Guys, seriously? This couldn’t have waited a day?”
A chorus of “no” comes from them all. Wonderful.
I let out a deep sigh. “It’s fine, just give me ten minutes.”
My butt barely leaves the stool before Beck turns bossy. “No, sit down. I made plenty of cinnamon rolls, you all want Jensen for brunch, you can have it here.”
I could fake a fight and spare Beck from whatever this brunch is they absolutely could not wait for, but I don’t want to leave. I wait for rebuttals from the girls, but with the tone Beck just had, I think they all know it isn’t an up-for-debate statement.
“Alright,” Lucie says as she unwraps her arm from my shoulders. “I’m still throwing up everything I eat, so it makes no difference to me.”
Everyone else shrugs and nods as they all grab a spot around the island.
Beck huffs some words low under his breath that I can’t understand then goes to get more plates.
“This place is nice, Beck,” Reagan says, looking around. “You might be taking the top spot on my list.”
“Your list?” Callie asks with raised eyebrows.