Chapter 10 #3
She couldn’t process his reaction. She was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. It wasn’t like there was a manual for how to act after your daughter was brutally murdered outside her college housing. He was grieving how he needed to grieve. But she needed something from him.
Back home in their bed, she could smell him.
It made it easier to pretend he was just laying behind her in the same bed than being wherever he was, but she knew the truth.
All Jenna wanted was for her husband to hold her, even if it caused her more pain.
They’d both lost Melanie. Yet, she was alone in her grief, surrounded by her loved ones.
Lucy would bring Drew up to visit Jenna; Ollie would ride the chair lift up to see her; Carter would bring her tea, even when she hadn’t finished or started the last cup; and Jordan would sit on his father’s side of the bed, fiddling with his guitar.
One of the ol’ ladies had cleaned up their mess from rushing out of the bathtub to get to the hospital for Ollie.
But no Jack.
It was like she’d lost him too.
Time seemed to blend together. Lucy and some of the ol’ ladies tried to ask Jenna what outfit they wanted Melanie to wear.
Others came up to question jewelry or mementos.
Jenna had no answers. She didn’t even know what day it was, only that it was one more where her daughter was no longer here.
Tears flowed nonstop, some slower and some faster. Her eyes constantly stung.
The hospital had left the catheter in her arm. She wasn’t sure when, but she randomly noticed the saline bag now attached to her. Enough time must have passed that someone had gotten concerned about her hydration. They shouldn’t have bothered.
Fatigue, pain, and heartbreak were her constant companions. Anger was a more frequent visitor than her own husband.
Jenna faded in and out, knowing she wasn’t sleeping but also not fully awake.
Sometimes she heard people walk into her room and then opened her eyes to find herself alone.
She would imagine herself standing up and going to the window or walking downstairs, only to discover that she hadn’t moved an inch.
She continuously heard tapping sounds that no one else said were there, and had convinced herself that it was Melanie trying to get her attention.
She was so certain of it that she had Tessa get Dosia and Calliope to confirm.
Calliope, though, said it wasn’t her specialty, but she also felt no presence in Jenna’s bedroom.
“Then what good are you?” Jenna venomously sneered. “You call yourself a witch, a psychic? You’re a fraud! How could you not see this coming? How can you stand there and claim to be one of us when you did nothing to save my daughter?”
Logically, she knew she was being unfair. Dosia tried to explain to her that Calliope wasn’t omniscient. She couldn’t see everyone’s future all the time. It worked like feelings, intuition, and the occasional vision.
Jenna didn’t give a shit. She kicked everyone out of her room after that. They respected her wishes until Lilly came barging in to read her the riot act.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, making that poor girl cry?”
“My daughter is dead—”
“She was my niece too!” Lilly interrupted, her voice clipped. “I don’t know where your husband is, and trust me, I’m going to kick Jackie’s ass when he returns, but you? You’re better than this, Jenna.”
Jenna snorted. She wished she could roll away and turn her back on Lilly, but her body was as much a traitor as Jack at present. She couldn’t move without assistance and a lot of pain. “You have no idea what I’m going through. You don’t have a daughter to lose!”
Lilly didn’t blink at the mockery. “You’re right, I don’t,” she agreed evenly.
“But don’t think for a moment, Jenna Duncan, that I don’t share your pain.
I loved Melanie too. We all did. We might not have birthed her, but she was ours.
You have three sons who are grieving without both their parents downstairs.
Your pregnant daughter-in-law won’t stop crying.
Thank God your grandson has no idea what is going on.
Your friends, women you call sisters, are terrified of coming upstairs to comfort you because they don’t want to upset you more, but they come up here anyway because you need help.
And I am sorry, Jenna,” her voice cracked, “so fucking sorry. The world…” She shook her head.
“It’s not fair. You can’t imagine the things that I’ve seen, Jenna, and I don’t want you to.
“Melanie didn’t deserve to die like that, and I hate that my niece paid the price for something her father did thirty years ago.
I can’t imagine the guilt he’s feeling. But you?
You’re better than this, Jenna. You haven’t even asked once how Ollie is doing, or Aaron.
You’re missing your husband? Well, your kids are missing their mother.
Tomorrow’s the viewing, and then we have the funeral the next day.
You have until then to get your shit together.
” She leaned over Jenna and kissed her forehead.
“I love you. Saying ‘I’m sorry’ solves nothing, but it’s the only word the English language offers us at times like this.
Just remember, you’re not alone and it’s okay to lean on us as much as you need. It’s why we’re here.”
The viewing was held at the funeral home across the street from their church.
It was a testament to how much Melanie was loved in their small town by the crowd that appeared.
In addition to her mother and father, three brothers, one sister-in-law, one nephew, one bio aunt, eighteen club uncles, eleven club aunts, sixteen club cousins, and one cousin-in-law, most of the town came.
Carlos and Zoe attended as family while the town’s deputies were on crowd control.
Poison and the remainder of Non Cras stood with the VDMC in full colors.
Every teacher from kindergarten through high school showed, as did the town’s mayor, most of the town council, Mabel from the bakery, Tony from the pizzeria, Kelly from the diner, Pastor Melrose from their church and congregation members, Mr. and Mrs. Gaunt from the upholstery store, all the non-member employees from the club’s various businesses, every fireman from the firehouse, and a large group of college students also attended.
It was standing room only less than a half hour into the two-hour viewing with a line to see the casket out the door.
A screen on the wall showed picture after picture of Melanie’s life.
From the time she was born to learning to walk to her father teaching her to ride her first bike to her first day of preschool…
Her attempt at cheerleading before she accepted she couldn’t dance any better than her mother and her brothers’ soccer games, to the bake sales and helping out at church events, science fairs and Girl Scout events, field trips, and running into her father’s arms at a variety of airports…
Then the big move to Mount Grove. Pictures at Carter’s high school and college graduations, Jordan’s high school graduation and his first concert, Ollie and Melanie dressed like elves when they’d been ushers at the church’s Christmas services…
College pictures donated by her friends and roommate.
It was all a blur. It didn’t seem real. How could it be real?
When the funeral home director approached them to say it was time, the clubs started to help clear out the room so only family was left behind. Ollie offered to go too, but Lilly held his hand and told him to stay.
Jordan went first. He approached the casket where his little sister lay. Bending, he kissed her cheek and whispered something into her ear. Then he returned to the family to take Drew so Lucy and Carter could have their moment.
Lucy already had a pack of tissues out, wiping her eyes as they approached. Carter reached inside to touch a lock of his little sister’s hair. They whispered their goodbyes before joining Jordan and Drew by the door.
Ollie, unsteady on his new crutches, hobbled up to the casket.
He nearly knocked the flower wreath on a tripod over, but managed to catch himself and the flowers.
He didn’t say anything that his audience knew of, just stared down at the woman who had been his sister for such a short amount of time.
Finally, he turned and headed towards his older brothers.
The four of them left out the front doors, Lucy still dabbing her eyes.
Lilly touched a hand to one of Jenna’s and Steel’s shoulders before walking up to the casket. She patted her niece’s hand, kissed her forehead, and said her goodbyes. Then she followed her nephews out the door.
Jenna and Steel continued to sit. Since Jenna was unable to walk at present due to her flare-up, she was in her wheelchair.
Upon entering the viewing room, Steel had placed a chair next to her and sat himself down.
They barely said two words to each other, barely touched.
They both sat in silence, staring at the open casket of their daughter, as people had paid their respects and said their last goodbyes.
They had been two amongst many in that crowded little room, but they might as well have been there on their own.
Now they were, and it felt no different.
Watching the number of people who showed love to their daughter had not brought her back.
Seeing all the photos and the memories had only driven home that there would be no new pictures taken, no new memories to be had.
There would be nothing but an empty void in their lives where their vibrant, courageous, beautiful daughter had been.