Chapter 3 Steel
THE PAST
“This shit is lit,” I said as we stepped into the frat party.
It was a Friday night, and I decided to stay on campus with my people for the weekend.
Since the campus next to ours was throwing a party, we hopped the fence and headed over to see what was up.
Neha was on my arm looking fine as a muthafucka.
I was low-key obsessed with this girl. She just did it for me in every way.
I wanted so bad to take her home to meet my family, but knowing her background, I knew it might scare her off to learn mine.
It was hard enough to keep my anger at bay when I felt like someone was disrespecting me, but it all went out the window when someone disrespected her.
It scared her, and I was trying my hardest to keep that shit under wraps.
I was raised to serve and protect. When my protective instincts kicked in, I became someone else.
After years of having to fight to protect myself and my siblings, I had to be.
Everybody didn’t deserve the fun, happy-go-lucky version of me.
“It’s wall to wall in here,” Neha commented, holding on to my arm.
I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Just stick with me.”
We migrated into the party, heading straight for the drinks. While we had no business drinking like this at our young age, it was a party, and we were trying to have a good time. Liquor in our system, we decided to hit the dance floor after mingling for a bit.
“Baby!” Neha whined as I kissed on her neck while we vibed to “Knocking The Boots” by H-Town.
“You know you like it.”
She giggled as I wrapped my arms around her.
We were in our own little world, just vibing and enjoying each other’s company.
The drinks had gotten to Neha, and she had to go to the bathroom.
I offered to go with her, but she declined, stating that knowing me, I would have her bent over the sink.
I laughed it off because it was true. We’d been going at it like crazy the last couple of months.
After patiently waiting eight months, we’d finally consummated our relationship; it’d been up from there.
While Neha went upstairs to use the bathroom, I went to grab us another drink and catch up with a few of the niggas I was cool with. Everything was fine until she came rushing into the kitchen with a frown on her face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“This guy just grabbed me.”
“The fuck you mean he grabbed you?”
“I was coming out of the bathroom, and I accidentally ran into him. He was trying to talk to me, and I told him I had a boyfriend. When I tried to get past him, he grabbed me. He started touching on me and pulling on my clothes before he tried to pull me into a room, but I fought him off.”
I could feel my blood boiling. “Point him out.”
“Baby, he was drunk. I’m fine—”
“I don’t give a fuck, Neha.”
“Can we just go?”
“Nah. You think I’m just gonna let that shit slide? Point him the fuck out.”
Her eyes darted around the room until they landed on a nigga stumbling down the stairs.
“That him?” I asked, setting my drink down.
“Kerrion, please!” she pleaded, grabbing my arm.
I snatched away and stormed into the crowd of partygoers.
I didn’t care that I was practically knocking people over trying to get to this nigga.
When I reached him, I didn’t do any talking.
Before he could grasp what was happening, my fist met his face.
I felt his bones crack with that first lick.
The grip I had on his shirt didn’t allow him to get away as I pounded his face.
The angrier I got, the harder my licks became.
I didn’t stop as he was screaming.
I didn’t stop as my niggas tried to pull me off his ass.
My fist was covered in his blood, but it wasn’t enough.
It wasn’t until I could hear Neha screaming at me, did I finally drop him.
When I came back to myself, I realized the music was still blasting, but everyone around me had fallen silent.
The looks on their faces were ones of shock, while the look on my baby’s was full of fear.
“Neha . . .”
She shook her head as she backed away from me, bumping into several people as she tried to get away.
“Neha, wait.”
My pleas fell on deaf ears as she sprinted from the party just as campus security walked through the door. When they saw the bloody nigga on the floor, moaning and groaning, they looked from him to me.
“Party’s over,” the big burly one said. “Everybody that isn’t a resident, get out. You—” He pointed to me. “You stay right there.”
I sighed as people started moving all around me. Taking a seat on the stairs, I waited to learn my fate for this shit.
Present Day
I sat at my desk, staring off into space as the memory flooded my mind.
Neha Malone.
The love of my life.
The woman that stole and broke my heart, .
. . broke me. I never thought I’d see her again, so stepping out of my car to find that she was the person who almost backed into me threw me for a loop.
I was dropping Jaiden off to school since he spent the night with Jaeda and Quaid.
Being that I had to come into town for work and she was watching KJ for me again, it just made sense.
I hadn’t been able to focus since leaving the school parking lot three days ago.
My assistant had taken over classes for me, but I needed to get my head right before my kids came in today.
Part of me wanted to cancel the class, but I couldn’t keep doing that to them.
They’d been working hard, and I couldn’t fail them just because I was in my feelings.
Still, this shit was heavy on my heart.
I thought back to the time after the fight.
My parents had to come up to the school because I’d been arrested.
Pops was ready to shit a brick because to keep me out of jail, he made a hefty donation to the school to let me stay and the nigga’s family to not press charges, even though he deserved that shit.
Neha walked around like she was the person I hit.
She wouldn’t speak to me. I couldn’t walk her to class.
She wouldn’t let me even hold her hand. I apologized profusely for blacking out like that, but it was no good.
Her best friend at the time told me she was terrified, and it confused me because I would never put my hand on her or any other woman for that matter.
Any fighting she’d seen me do was at her defense. I didn’t go around just hitting niggas for the fuck of it. It was always principle behind that shit—principal being don’t put your fucking hands on my lady.
A knock at the door broke my thoughts. I looked up to see Donna’s mom standing there with a bag in her hands.
“Hey, Ms. Anita,” I said, sighing.
“Hey, Kerrion.”
I stood and walked around the desk to hug her and kiss her cheek before offering her a seat and reclaiming mine.
“Everything okay?” I asked. “Are you okay?”
She nodded. “I’m . . . getting along.”
She was still taking Donna’s death hard. So hard that she’d barely seen KJ in the last six months. I knew it was a painful reminder, and I didn’t try to push her. I simply let her know that whenever she was ready, we’d be there.
“How is KJ?” she asked quietly.
“Growing like a weed. He’s greedy as hell, too, always trying to snatch things from my plate. The boy yells at me if I take too long to come with his food.”
She smiled softly. “Donna was a greedy baby too. I used to have to bird feed her while I ate, or she’d try to flip my plate over.” She shook her head. “I miss her so much.”
“I know, Ms. Anita. I miss her too. I talk to KJ about her all the time. I know he doesn’t understand, but I’ll never let him forget her. I promise that.”
“Thank you.” She looked down for a moment at the bag in her hands. “I um . . . I stopped by to bring him a few things.”
She handed the bag to me, and I went through it to see some clothes, shoes, and a few toys. At the bottom of the bag was a small black box. Pulling it out, I opened it to find a familiar gold necklace with the letter D.
“She loved that chain,” Ms. Anita said. “Her father gave it to her for her thirteenth birthday. She never took it off. I know I should have let them bury her in it . . . She would’ve like that.
” She looked down, fighting back her tears.
“I figured she’s with her dad now, and KJ should have a piece of her, so I want him to have it. ”
I nodded. “I promise, I’ll give it to him when he gets older.”
“Thank you. I’m so sorry I haven’t been there. I just . . . it hurts so fucking bad!”
She broke into tears, and I was instantly on my feet to console her.
I couldn’t imagine what she was going through and never wanted to.
There couldn’t be any peace in losing a child.
I half expected her to hate me for even getting Donna pregnant.
We’d had so many conversations with her about our desire to have a child, even in untraditional ways.
I thought she would look for someone to blame, but she hadn’t.
I was thankful for that because I wasn’t sure I’d be able to take that kind of guilt.
“You don’t have to apologize,” I said, hugging her tightly.
“I know you love him. I know you want to spoil him in ways only a grandma can, but you’re hurting.
I’m here to support you any way I can, Ms. Anita.
I loved Donna. I promised her that if anything ever happened to her, I’d always take care of you and KJ. I meant that.”
She sniffled. “I know you did, baby.” She pulled away from me and wiped her eyes. “Maybe we can do a video call tonight?”
“We can do that. My sister is watching him until I get off work. I’ll call you before I give him his bath.”
“Okay. Thank you, Kerrion. I know Donna would be happy with how well you’re taking care of him.”
“I hope she would be.”