Chapter 5 #2
P.E. was such a waste of time and the hour felt even longer because it was an hour away from Jenna.
Having a crush on a girl wasn’t new to him, but this felt more.
Just more. Of everything: important, permanent, life altering…
He couldn’t get out of his head how she’d stood up for him against Foote.
No one had ever stood up for him before.
Not even his mother when she’d been around.
It was a feeling he wasn’t sure he should get used to. As strong and fast as his feelings were for Jenna, he had to wonder just how long they would last. From her.
Right now, she was new to the school, a stranger. She was leaning on him because he was the only other student she knew. What happened when others started to talk to her, to influence her? What happened when she learned just how low on the totem pole his family was in this town?
She was the daughter of a very influential man. Her shoes likely had more value to them than his entire cardboard box of clothing, plus what he was wearing now.
As irreversible as his feelings for her felt, that didn’t mean hers were just as binding. What happened when she walked away from him, just like his mom had?
Maybe it was better to stop before they got started. Jack was still sour about that kiss being interrupted in the hallway, but maybe it was a good thing it had.
Hell, he couldn’t even afford new shoes.
When the P.E. assessment tests started the next day, he was dreading his results.
Maybe he should just get a new pair anyway.
He had promised Lilly he would and now he had a little extra cash since Mrs. Zarin had paid for Lilly’s lunches.
But shouldn’t that money go towards his own lunch or be put back into his savings for Lilly’s future?
Looking down at his sneakers, he knew they were only going to get worse. They were barely any protection as they were now and winter was coming. If his dad didn’t pay the propane bill soon, they weren’t going to have heat either. He’d need shoes to keep his feet warm at night, too.
Decision made, Jack resolved to skip eating lunch and to use the money towards a winter coat for Lilly and shoes for him.
Since he didn’t have detention now after school, he could pick Lilly up, get them to the thrift store, and still make it back in time to mow a lawn before the sun set.
He also needed to try Mr. Barlow again, because the old man still hadn’t paid Jack for mowing his lawn on Saturday.
The thought of getting Lilly a winter coat and him shoes should have brightened his mindset, but it didn’t. He craved Jenna like a drug, wanting to not only be near her but to claim her, own her. To know without a shadow of a doubt that she was his.
But he didn’t have time to date. She would want his attention, to go out on dates with him. Not only could he not afford to take her on dates worthy of her, he couldn’t leave Lilly alone to be alone with her.
As the bell rang overhead, Jack headed out of the gymnasium with the rest of his class. He’d told Jenna that he’d meet her at his locker to take her to lunch. No doubt others could show her where the cafeteria was. It had merely been an excuse to see her. One that she’d eagerly taken.
Pausing just before taking the corner that would lead him to his locker, Jack’s resolve wavered.
He could walk away. That would be best for both of them.
His presence in her life would only bring her down.
What was it that Foote continued to tell him?
That his life was leading nowhere. The man wasn’t wrong.
Jack had no future outside of ensuring Lilly’s.
He’d make every sacrifice for his sister.
But did that include Jenna?
She was new in the school. She’d make friends easily. He’d warned her that he was not the sort of friend she should have.
Peeking around the corner, Jack tried to see through the flowing sea of students to his locker. He couldn’t see Jenna, but he thought he caught sight of flaming orange hair a few times. She was waiting on him. Again. Just like that morning.
He’d warned her on Saturday…and yet she’d been waiting for him that morning.
Her choice. He hadn’t blackmailed, threatened, or coerced her in any way. She’d chosen to wait for him then, just as she was now. As easily as Jack could walk away and break his promise to meet her, she could have too.
Jenna was choosing him. To choose otherwise for her would be an insult to her intelligence. Their attraction aside, Jenna was not fool enough to not realize their difference in social status. Yet there she waited.
Straightening his backbone, Jack rounded the corner and headed down the hallway. Her choice. Always her choice. He would tell her everything, hide nothing. If she chose to stay, if she chose to be with him, she deserved to know it all.
Her choice.
If she chose to walk away… Jack winced at the piercing in his heart. He’d always thought that expression was metaphorical until that moment. But his heart physically ached at a future without her in it.
People would think poorly of him for being with her, but he didn’t give a fuck what they thought. They already thought him trailer trash and scum. Why not add gold digger to that list too? It wasn’t true. Jack would never take a dime of her or her family’s money. But people would talk.
As students started to part and Jenna came into view, the thoughts that voiced all his self-doubts grew quieter and quieter. Their eyes met, she smiled, and his heart faltered. Like it wasn’t pumping to sustain him anymore but pumping for her. Only her.
If he was willing to make sacrifices to give Lilly the life she deserved, he knew he could do the same for Jenna. So long as a life with him was what she wanted, Jack would do anything and everything to become the man she deserved.
One that she was proud to call her own.
They were fifteen. But Jack wanted it all. Beyond the idea of sex and intimacy, he saw a house with a picket fence, kids and dogs running around, cars in the driveway, and best of all, Jenna. As a grown woman, a mom, a wife, a partner.
Without missing a beat, Jack walked right up to her, stepping into her personal space. People and noises around them be damned. He pressed her back against his locker and claimed her lips as his.
She let out a surprised squeak but the way her hands fisted in his shirt had an air of possession to them. It took only a moment for her to snap out of her shock before she was moving her mouth against his and using her grip on his shirt to pull him closer.
The kiss itself was sloppy. Completely unpracticed on both their parts. It was hot and harried, but also possessive and sensual. Jack couldn’t imagine a better last first kiss.
Because if he had his way, he’d never kiss another woman in his life. But he also knew that decision wasn’t up to him.
Her choice. Always her choice.
Hand-in-hand, they walked into the crowded cafeteria.
Jenna’s brain was still foggy from that kiss.
She’d never been kissed before, but even with nothing to compare it to, it had still been amazing.
The intensity and the heat, she never even dreamed she could experience something like that.
With such a public display, it would have been less obvious if he’d tattooed his name on her forehead.
The catcalls and wolf whistles should have embarrassed her, but they didn’t.
Instead, it was like they didn’t exist. Their opinions and derogatory comments held no sway.
As they stepped up to the end of the long line of hungry students, she caught sight of Mindy glaring at her from across the cafeteria.
Jenna turned her back on the other girl.
Her opinion mattered even less than anyone else’s.
“How was gym?”
Jack snorted. “Fucking boring. They start our assessments tomorrow. Since someone got me out of detention,” he said pointedly with a wicked curve to his mouth, “I’m going to take Lilly shopping this afternoon.
She needs a winter jacket and I need shoes.
Can’t be expected to run a mile in these without breaking my ankle. ”
The line started moving forward step by slow step.
Jenna glanced down. His sneakers did look like they were on their last threads. Disappointment made her shoulders sag slightly. She hadn’t considered after school, but of course they would have to part ways. It made her dread the end of the school day.
He squeezed her hand gently. “Want to come with us?”
“Yes!” Jenna immediately said without considering how enthusiastic she sounded.
Jack chuckled. “Good. There’s a thrift store down the block from the bookstore you were in. We generally find a good selection there. If not, there’s two others around town, but they’re smaller.”
“Do you think Lilly would mind me tagging along?”
“I doubt it.”
Jenna blinked, confused by his answer. They were nearly to the door that led into the counter service.
Her old school had professional chefs and staff to serve the students and faculty.
Entering a lunch line had been different and new for her, so she was watching the other students and Jack closely.
“Why do you say that?” she asked him, wanting to make sure that there wasn’t going to be an issue with his little sister if she went shopping with them.
Jack leaned down, creating room at her side by drawing their linked hands behind her back. His hot breath fell on her ear and Jenna was coming to realize that sensation was extremely arousing. Even in public.
“First, because you have her eternal gratitude for buying her that book set. We’re almost halfway through the first book, by the way.
” The way he said we made her think that he was reading them too—or maybe reading them to Lilly.
“And second, because I have it on good authority that you were checking out my butt on Saturday. Pretty sure she approves.”
Heat blazed on Jenna’s cheeks as her eyes widened. A silent gasp escaped her mouth. Jack’s chuckle in her ear made the rest of her body heat rise too.
The line moved forward and they stepped as one.
“I… I…” She had been checking out his butt on Saturday, but she hadn’t realized his little sister had caught her doing it.
“No need to be embarrassed,” he soothed her. “I want you to look at my ass. It’s yours. To look,” his teeth nipped at the shell of her ear, “and to touch.”
That swirl of possession she’d felt during their kiss rose up in her gut again. Mine. “Jack…”
The door to the serving counter was directly in front of them now.
Jack stepped behind her. Without letting go of her hand, he crossed his arm over her front so they were still pressed together, now with her back against his chest. He was so much more coordinated than she was.
But, regrettably, they couldn’t keep the pose for long.
They would each need both hands to hold their trays.
There were still two people in line ahead of them before they had to let go, but they didn’t continue their conversation. Just leaned into each other and savored the moment.
One more person. Jenna closed her eyes as she felt his lips in her hair on the back of her head. Unlike other girls, she didn’t put product in it to make it large and poofy. Her hair was already an unruly mane of orange frills. She didn’t need chemicals to achieve that look.
Jack nudged her gently. Jenna opened her eyes to see she was next to grab a tray.
Reluctantly, they broke apart. As Jenna reached forward to take a brown tray from the upside down stack, Jack pulled the strap of her shoulder bag down her arm and then looped it over his shoulder.
Surprised by the action, she paused with her arm outstretched.
She’d seen boys holding books and bags for other girls before. No one had ever offered to take hers before. After that kiss, she shouldn’t have been surprised but she was. In a way, the action seemed more possessive than their kiss.
Jack gave her a pointed, amused look that snapped her out of her daze.
Jenna grabbed a tray and continued down the line.
The smell of grease was heavy in the air.
A lunch lady with a hairnet and pink uniformed dress with a white stained apron stood behind the counter.
Jenna saw a tray of lasagna next to a tray of burgers.
The food selections were drastically different too.
“Lasagna please.”
The woman handed a plate over the splatter guard. She did not smile or offer Jenna any other options, so Jenna placed the plate on her tray and moved on. She asked for broccoli over peas from the next lady and Jello over a cupcake from the last.
It wasn’t until she was waiting at the register that she realized Jack didn’t have a tray of food too. She frowned. “You’re not eating?”
He shook his head. “Not hungry.”
But she saw through the lie and her frown turned into a scowl. Didn’t public schools have programs for students who needed help to pay for meals?
At the register, she saw a barrel of apples for a dime each and grabbed two before handing over cash. Whatever reason Jack wasn’t eating be damned. She was going to shove some food down his throat. If he valued his life, he wouldn’t protest.