Chapter 5
LILY
It’s bright the next morning, and the storm is gone. I didn’t sleep a wink—not after what happened in my room. Not after standing there topless, exposed before my stepbrother, watching Colt wage a war within himself before turning his back on me and walking out.
The rejection still burns in my chest worse than the desire. Shame settles into my bones like heavy weights bringing me down. Sitting outside on the porch swing, I pull my knees to my chest and watch the mist rise from the lake, trying to figure out what to do next.
He wants me. I know he does. It’s obvious from the way he looks at me, the way he talks to me, the way he held me down at the dock. How hard he was. So why does he keep pulling away? Does he think I’ll stop?
Could it be that I misread everything? Maybe he doesn’t want me. Maybe he’s disgusted by me, and being here at the lake house with no one else around is driving him crazy. Maybe he was hard because guys get hard from time to time. How the hell would I know? Not like I have any experience with them.
Or maybe when he said I deserve better, what he really means is he deserves better—better than some virgin girl throwing herself at him like an idiot.
God, the humiliation is suffocating. I can barely breathe as I press my face into my knees and start to cry. Tears burn from my eyelids. What a fool I’ve been, begging him to touch me while he just puts distance between us.
I cringe at the thought. The way I pressed myself against him, exposed myself to him, acted like I knew what I was doing when in reality, I had no idea.
“Lily?”
Colt’s voice nearly causes me to jump out of my skin. I can’t look over at him. Can’t face those brutal eyes after last night’s rejection.
“Go away,” I tell him.
The porch creaks under his weight as he comes over and sits beside me, close enough that I can feel his warmth but not close enough that he’s touching me.
“Look at me, Lily.”
“No.” I shake my head.
“Come on.” There’s something in his voice—a rawness that somehow causes me to raise up and look at him, like he has some power over me.
He looks wrecked too, like he hasn’t slept either. His hair’s disheveled, and his jaw is shadowed with stubble. His hands grip his thighs, and his forearms are trembling slightly.
“I—I’m sorry,” I manage to whimper. “I’ve been so pathetic the way I’ve been throwing myself at you. You clearly don’t want me, and—”
“Stop.” His command is sharp and enough to cut off my rambling. “Lily, you seriously think I don’t want you?”
“Well…you keep leaving…”
He laughs, but there’s no humor. It’s dry, almost like he can’t believe what I’m saying. “Leaving is all I can do, Lily. Before I do something I can’t take back.”
I wipe the tears from my eyes, blinking away the blur as I stare back at him. “What if I want you to?”
Colt’s jaw locks. “You have no idea what you’re asking for.” His eyes pin me. My breath catches. “I’m too much, Lily—possessive, jealous. If I taste you once, I’ll need all of you. No man touches what’s mine.”
His words coat me like warm honey, heavy and hot.
“That doesn’t scare me, Colt.”
“Christ.” He drags his fingers through his hair, eyes to the sky like he’s praying for salvation. “Don’t say things like that.”
“Why? It’s the truth.” My body moves closer to his, as though pulled by invisible strings. “I knew the moment I saw you. It was like—like we’d already met, and every cell in my body was screaming for you.”
He shakes his head. “You’re eighteen, Lily. And my stepsister.”
“And I’m old enough to know what I want.
” I reach out for his hand, and surprisingly, he lets me take it.
The calluses on his palm send sparks through me.
“When you look at me, Colt, I feel something I’ve never felt before.
And what, just because our parents are dating, I’m supposed to ignore that? ”
“Yes!” he snaps, standing. “I mean—right? That’s what everyone says.”
“Maybe everyone’s wrong?” I suggest.
He sighs deeply, causing his chest to rise, showing off the massive muscles beneath his T-shirt. “You don’t know what you do to me.” He strokes my knuckles with his thumb. “I’ve tried so hard to stay away from you, to be the responsible one. But every time I close my eyes, I see you.”
“Don’t fight it, Colt.” I don’t know where I’m getting this courage from. I’ve always been a shy girl, never one to talk to guys. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I’ve never had a boyfriend. But with Colt, I want to open up to him. Because I trust him. I want to fall into his arms day after day.
He looks at me—like really looks at me, and I see the desire he’s been trying to hide. The want, the need, the barely contained lust that’s dripping from his eyes.
“If I kiss you, Lily—”
“When,” I correct him, standing. “When you kiss me…”
The hint of a smile forms on his lips. “When I kiss you,” he agrees, his voice low, so sexy it’s almost threatening. “Everything changes. There’s no going back. We won’t be able to just pretend nothing happened. This can’t be a fling, you understand?”
“I understand.” I nod like I’m taking communion. Colt’s presence is a spell that has me all wrapped up. “I’ve been yours since we met, Colt. I don’t want to be anyone else’s.”
Something shifts in the way he looks at me. It’s like a decision slowly forming in his eyes. His free hand rises up and gently cups my chin, causing goosebumps to form all over my body.
“We could ruin everything…”
“Maybe,” I agree. I know he’s right, but unlike Colt, I can’t find a way to control myself. Emotions flood through me like a tidal wave. “Maybe not—”
Suddenly, his mouth is on mine, and the world explodes all at once.
The ache in my core amplifies, like I’m about to explode.
My thighs are tingling, and I am wet, so wet that my thighs are soaked and my panties are bunching.
My whole body trembles as Colt slips his hand up the back of my shirt and traces the lines of my lower back.
“You are a virgin, aren’t you, Lily?” he asks. I feel like a spotlight is shining on me, but I’m prouder than ever when I nod up at him.
“Yes.”
I’m overwhelmed with tremendous desire as his eyes sparkle down at me, filled with desire that has me weak in the knees.
His hand tightens against me—possessive, demanding.
He smiles as he leans in and traces my lower lip with his tongue.
I can’t explain the crash of sensations that fill my body.
All I can do is surrender to him as he growls deep and reaches between my legs.
Next thing I know, I’m in his lap, straddling his strong thighs on the porch swing, grinding against him as his hands grip my waist. He holds me like I’m precious, something that can be broken. He kisses me with passionate hunger, but there’s restraint there, like he’s being delicate with me.
I press my palms against his stomach, feeling the strength of his abs and the well-defined lines. He groans against my lips, sending a feminine thrill rushing through my limbs. My heart skips a beat as he growls my name. “Lily.”
“Colt,” I whimper back, rolling my hips instinctively against his, the friction against his bulge causing my entire body to shake.
This is it. This is really happening.
“We need to slow down,” he whispers, but his hands are already sliding up my shirt, searching for more.
“No, we don’t—”
The sound of a car neither of us recognizes pulls into the drive. I jump off of Colt like a cat leaping out of water. We both stand, trying to look as normal as possible, as a man in a suit steps out.
“Colt Matthews? I’m the insurance adjuster. I’m here about the storm damage you called about.”
Colt steps in front of me, as if blocking the man’s eyes from my body. “Right. Let me show you the house.”
His hand brushes against mine as he passes. A hot, prickling sensation spreads through me like a promise, a reassurance that this—whatever this is—is not over.
I sink back onto the swing, pressing my fingers to my swollen lips, remembering Colt’s kiss. I feel altered down to my core. He was right; something has changed.
That kiss was just the beginning, but at the same time, a point of no return.