Chapter 11
In one week, I’d probably gone through every emotion I could imagine. And now…I’d come to the long, drawn-out conclusion. Being in love was not for me. Fuck that!
I know that Array and Tricky Ricky couldn’t wait for us to board our flights the following day…because it had been Afghanistan around that house. A complete war zone.
On three separate occasions, it had gotten physical with me and Breeze, and I had been the initiator in two out of three of those instances.
And when I couldn’t get to him, then I went after anything he owned, including his car and clothes.
And it was all stemming from what happened after that night, he’d caught me getting out of ole boy’s car.
Despite our big fight and our parents declaring that we were broken up, we hadn’t listened to a thing.
Breeze still ended up sleeping in my room.
On the floor. And I was going to chalk that whole debacle as just one of our tiffs.
However, my whole mindset shifted after Breeze left the following day, and didn’t come home, until the sun was rising.
That offense alone was enough to go off about, but that ultimately ended up being just the tip of the iceberg.
Something told me to go through his phone, and I listened. After probing, I saw that Breeze had clearly been out feeling himself. There were at least five girls texting him. And his clear favorite was Ora. The hoe from the party.
After reading through their text thread, I saw that they were developing a genuine connection. The conversations were deep, telling me that he saw something in her worth exploring. It was also plain to deduce that he’d been with her the whole time he hadn’t come home.
Of course, when I confronted him, he played the blame game. Pointing out how I was sitting in the car with another nigga, probably laughing at him. Knowing that I would’ve never taken such drastic measures, if he hadn’t been entertaining Ora in the first place, I went berserk on him.
I didn’t even recognize myself, as I reacted to Breeze and his bullshit. I didn’t know that I could get that angry. That violent. And after pulling a knife on him, nearly slitting his throat, that’s when I knew that I had to let him go. Completely.
That had been three days ago, and I hadn’t said a word to him since. And now, on the night before my flight, I was all packed, feeling sad, and had been on the phone with my girls for hours, trying to find a bright spot.
“Summer, what if Harlem wants to get back with you?” Tarin randomly questioned, as we were on a five-way call. “Are you open to seeing what’s up?”
“Mmm…” I pondered on it. “I honestly don’t wanna deal with anybody. I’m good. These niggas aint shit, and running back to Harlem would mean going backwards to something I didn’t care for…while he can’t even fuck me right.”
Hearing that, everybody exploded with laughter, probably because I’d never expressed how poorly Harlem had performed sexually.
“Nooo,” Shilo tittered. “Say it aint so. My boy Harlem got a shrimp dick?”
“Nah, it’s even worse. He got a big one, but can’t fuck,” I revealed.
“A big one?” Asha snickered. “Then you should’ve kept him on his back, while you rode it.”
“Right. That worked only half the time. And then he could never make me cum, whenever he’d eat me out. Shit was frustrating as fuck.”
“So, that’s why it was easy to jump ship with Breeze?” Shilo wanted to know.
“Maybe partially. But overall…it was the connection. I never really understood how women could be so stupid, until Ricky came along. The good sex was just the cherry on top. But fuck him,” I couldn’t help but add. “With his conniving ass.”
“Right,” my girls simultaneously agreed.
That was what I loved about my friends. If it was fuck a nigga, then that was the consensus across the board.
“Wait, y’all,” Tarin tittered. “Why is Brian steady calling me, begging me to put him and Summer in the same room again?”
I rolled my eyes. “Girl, tell that scary ass nigga to kick rocks. With the way he peeled off with the door wide open, didn’t know if I was getting my ass beat or nothing, we aint got nothing to talk about.”
Everybody laughed hysterically, because according to Tarin, her cousin was a real-life tough guy. Only to hightail it, after I was literally snatched out if his car.
Tarin was cackling the most. “Y’all, when I asked him why did he leave Summer like that, he said that Breeze had a gun.”
“A gun?” I lightly laughed…knowing that Breeze did indeed have a gun on him, but I don’t know how Brian could’ve known, especially since Breeze was preoccupied with dragging me away from the car.
It wasn’t like he’d pulled it out. Then again, things had happened so quickly that perhaps I’d missed Breeze brandishing his weapon. “He gots to be stopped—”
I didn’t finish my last statement, as Breeze came stomping into my room, shirtless, from the bathroom we shared. Acting like he had every right to be in my room, he moseyed over to my dresser, before shuffling through the drawers.
Wearing merely some basketball shorts and a pair of Versace boxers, he appeared mighty comfortable, as he helped himself to the gum I had on the dresser.
My lashes fluttered, as I was stunned by his sheer audacity.
“Uh, excuse me.” I cleared my throat. “Why are you in here?”
He turned to face me, and my eyes naturally traveled down, spotting his oversized dick print.
“What you and them birds in here talking about?” He questioned, while leaning against the dresser, and folding his arms across his hard chest.
“Birds?” All the girls squawked in unison, as I had them on speaker.
“Yeah, y’all some fake ass birds. Been smiling in my face, while praying for a nigga’s downfall. Especially you, Tarin.”
“Me?” Tarin spoke up. “The fuck did I do?”
“You introduced my gal to that nigga. I thought that we was better than that.”
Tarin sucked her teeth. “They met through me, but I never introduced them. They just so happen to meet at my house. Way before you even moved in.”
Invading my personal space, he stepped over to my bed, and hovered over me. All while taking over my phone conversation. “Okay. So, how did she end up with him that night, if she was with y’all?”
“He pulled up at the after-hour. Because he was outside, wanting to get into something. They saw each other there. Now, anything outside of that has nothing to do with me,” Tarin explained.
“Okay. So, y’all was cool with her having that nigga parked outside of this house?”
“We told her that she was wild for that,” Asha responded.
“But she’s our girl and we’re gonna stick beside her,” Shilo chimed in.
“True,” everybody else agreed.
“Okay, well, let me ask y’all this.” He licked his lips. “Do y’all feel like she’s right to call herself breaking up with me over me merely being around another girl? Especially when she did the same thing?”
“I don’t know, Breeze,” Tarin spoke up. “It’s kinda not the same thing, but is, at the same time. Yeah, Summer was wrong, but we all know that she’s not into my cousin, for real. She let him pull up out of spite. But with you…you like that girl.”
“Which makes that completely different,” Asha added. “It’s giving that you realized that you aint done exploring your options.”
“Yep,” Renny co-signed. “And now, you’re being the typical fuck-nigga. Trying to hold onto her, when you know that you aint ready.”
“Nah, y’all got me wrong,” he argued. “Me looking at other girls twice got everything to do with Summer. She be placing doubt in my head, to the point that it’s so fucking frustrating.
I can’t post her on social media. She’on want nobody at school knowing about us.
And that shit is crazy to me. This girl was literally just pregnant with my child and I couldn’t talk to nobody about it.
She was so worried about looking a certain way to our parents that she stuffed the situation down.
Didn’t wanna talk about her miscarriage.
But was so sad. It was frustrating, because she’s unnecessarily creating all these dumb ass rules—"
“Are you fucking serious?!” I fumed. “Just telling all my fucking business!”
“Oh, you'on like that, huh? Lil’ Ms. Perfect be out here living reckless. Fucking raw. Making babies at 18. Doing shit that her mama can’t brag about.”
Listening to him rant, the back of my neck was hot. “So, you wanna punish me, because I care about how I’m seen?”
“No.” He bucked his eyes, while leaning into my face. “I want you to get fucking real. The way that you hide so much makes me question the shit I do know.”
I rolled my eyes. “Boy, fuck you, and get the fuck outta my room.”
“Nah, I’m good, right here,” he stubbornly claimed.
“Ricky, I’m not fucking playing. Go back to your room, and call that bitch Ora. Tell her that she can have you.”
“You can’t just give me to a bitch. That aint how it work,” he argued, causing my girls to snicker.
“Well, you give yourself,” I countered. “I really don’t give a fuck.”
“So, you’on care?” He asked, appearing hurt.
“Nope.”
“Well, Ion believe you.”
“Who gives a fuck about what you believe?” I scoffed.
“You should give a fuck. How you aint gone listen to your future husband?”
“Husband? Nigga, please.”
“So, that’s how you feel?”
“Yep.”
“Okay.” He turned away, like he was about to leave, only to spin back around and dived on top of me, knocking my phone out of my hand.
“Ricky, move!” I screamed, while wildly punching him.
“No,” he refused, as his face was directly in front of mine. “Tell me you love me.”
“No!”
“Why not?” He softly kissed my lips.
“Because.” I tucked my lips into my mouth.
“Because what? Huh?”
“Because,” my voice cracked. “Because you hurt meeeee,” I broke down into heavy sobs. “Oouu, you hurt me so bad.”
“Damn, baby. Don’t cry,” he pleaded, while wiping away my tears. “Tell…tell me what I gotta do to make this right.”
I shook my head. “Nothing. There’s nothing you can do.”
“Nah. Don’t say that. Don’t say that,” he whispered.
“Get off me, Rickyyyy,” I whimpered, before he hungrily kissed me.
Right then…I think that I got a better understanding of how addiction works. It was apparent that Breeze wasn’t good for me, in this period in our lives. I needed to release him, because he wasn’t ready.
I knew that this wasn’t gonna go how I wanted. Yet, he still somehow worked my clothes off my body, before burying himself deep inside of me.
With my legs wrapped around his waist, he sensually slid in and out of my pussy. He was moving with a tenderness I had never experienced before. I could feel myself holding him tighter, questioning if this would be the last time.
I was on the verge of cumming, when he pulled out of me, before lowering his head down between my legs.
I felt him spread my lips apart, before fluttering his tongue. The sensation was so powerful that my back involuntarily arched.
“Umm,” I moaned, as I could literally hear him lapping up my juices.
Loudly, Ricky slurped on my pussy, until I was shaking like a leaf. Then shortly after that orgasm rolled through me, a wave of emotions followed, causing me to weep like I’d never done before.
Realizing that I was crying, Breeze’s head popped up. “What…what chu crying for?”
“Cause.” I used both of my palms to wipe the tears away. “I’m not doing this with you. I can’t.” I vehemently shook my head. “So, it’s over.”
“Awe, damn,” one of my friends grumbled into the phone that was now resting on the opposite end of the mattress, reminding me that I’d never hung them up. “That nigga done put in all that work. And she still broke up with his ass.”
“Damn, cold lick.” With the phone being face down, the voices were muffled. But I knew for sure that another voice was speaking now. “Summer just got the head, and now she wanna dip.”