Chapter 17 #2
I gave her the side eye. “Come on, Ora. Don’t tell me that you didn’t know what this was.
Ion even fuck with you no more. Haven’t in a minute.
You was literally at the house, because you asked if you could come clean up for some extra bread.
So, I know that you didn’t think that you being able to randomly meet the fam was about anything other than irritating Summer.
You got a petty side, so I figured that’s why you went with it.
But if your feelings are hurt, then I apologize. ”
“Fuck you!” She lashed, as her face turned beet red.
“And Harlem, if I was you, I’d just let these two selfish muthafuckas have each other.
And just be grateful that you had the luxury of being lied to.
Cause with the ways these two play it dirty, you’d probably crash out, if you knew everything.
His nasty ass really had me cleaning his room, knowing that her fucking panties were still on his bed.
Which means that he probably just fucked her yesterday. ”
Harlem appeared speechless, as he dropped his set.
Summer was now crying profusely. “I’m sorry, Harlem. This was never supposed to go this far. I…I just can’t help it. I love him.”
Stoically, Harlem shook his head. “I don’t even know what to say. This shit just fucked my head up. Rinny was trying to tell me. And…if I had a gun, I’d shoot the both of y’all. But that would be throwing my life away, when this shit aint even worth it. So, y’all got it, man.”
Appearing defeated, Harlem snatched his keys off the ottoman, and stomped off.
I was following him, until Summer grabbed my arm. “Where are you going?”
“To make sure that he’s really leaving and aint finna double back and air this muthafucka out.”
“Oh.” She released my arm, before following me.
By the time we reached the first floor, we saw Harlem stomping out of the door.
“Umm,” Ora spoke from behind us. “Can you drop me off?”
I turned to face her. “I can—”
“Girl, if you don’t order a damn Uber. Always acting ditzy,” Summer scoffed.
“Had me feeling sorry for your delusional ass.” She hit my arm.
“Don’t you do another damn thing for her ass.
Do you know that this hoe was just downstairs, telling me that y’all go together, and was going to her mama’s in the morning? ”
With all the bullshit going on, I couldn’t help but laugh.
Ora rolled her eyes. “I don’t see shit funny.”
Summer
For a couple of hours now, I’d been riding shotgun in Breeze’s Lam truck, while he aimlessly drove around the city. We’d left my house, after watching Ora leave in an Uber, because Breeze said that we needed to step away from that house, after all that bad energy had been floating through it.
The whole while we hadn’t said much, while my mind was racing. Didn’t know if I was coming or going, while Breeze was bobbing his head, rapping along to the music. Like he didn’t have a damn care in the world.
“Listen to this shit, Dashia,” he used my middle name, while tapping my arm. He then rapped. “Yeah, I been trappin’ ‘round the world. I sit on my balcony and wonder how you feelin’. I got a career that takes my time away from women. I cannot convince you that I love you for a livin’…”
I squinted, as I really listened to the lyrics to Wait For U by Drake, Future, and Tems, while he loudly rapped. Obviously, the song was saying something that he wanted me to hear.
“Message say delivered, but I know that you don’t get it. Why you introduce us if you knew that you was with him?Made me shake his hand when y’all been fuckin’ for a minute…”
Heat flushed across my face, as I cut my eyes at him.
“I can hear your tears when they drop over the phone. Get mad at myself ‘cause I can’t leave you alone. Gossip in messages that ain’t what we doin’, ye…”
Smiling from ear to ear, Ricky was now singing Tem’s part. “Tell me now, I need you to be clear, yeah. I won’t wait for you, for you.”
I shook my head.
“What?” He glanced at me, while lowering the volume of the music. Cutting the wheel of the truck, he swooped into the lot of a HEB, before randomly parking.
I breathed out, while anxiously twisting my lips. “I’m trying to understand you, right now. Today was crazy, and you’re just over there smiling and vibing. Like, you aint giving nothing a second thought. When we hurt people, Ricky.” I became choked up.
“You tripping,” he smirked. “The reality of the situation is that we played two different roles. So, of course, you feel bad. You supposed to. Not saying that you a fucked-up person, but you chose to lie, while I chose the truth, Summer. I was brutally honest. To Ora. To you. You knew exactly what was up. But you did the exact opposite. You lied, when women really aint gotta do all that. Especially somebody like you, who really don’t need a man to take care of you.
You could’ve easily told Harlem that you was only down to fuck him on your terms. That nigga would’ve went for it.
But you’re so used to bullshitting and manipulating, that being truthful probably never even entered your mind.
This could’ve just been us from the beginning.
But nah, we had to go around the world and back again. And why is that, Summer?”
“Cause.” I tucked my lips into my mouth.
“Cause what?”
“Cause like you said, I’m scared,” I admitted.
“Scared of what?”
I exhaled. “Scared of being vulnerable. Scared of being hurt. Scared that I’ll lose myself.
Because I feel like I have no control when I’m with you.
I go against the very things my mind tell me not to do.
I’m scared that if I really let you get ahold of me, that I won’t recognize myself after a while. ”
“So, you think that everything is supposed to always stay the same?”
“No. You just don’t get it.”
“No, I get it. I just feel like you need to come to terms with the fact that you aint always right, Summer. I’ve never been the guy you made up in your head. But its cool. We both got to experience a little more, like people kept suggesting.”
“Right.” I took a deep breath. “Now what?”
“Shit, now, we live. Embrace living in our truth. Cause this shit can definitely get out. It might even get a little ugly. So, you gotta face this shit first. Be okay with being imperfect. And learn to accept that people will see them imperfections. Besides…you aint gotta be no damn angel to write books. Hell, that scandalous part of you is probably why those books move the way that they move. You know ball.”
Hearing that, I tittered, while lightly pushing his shoulder. “Boy, fuck you.”
He chuckled. “I’m for real, though. Telling the truth might actually benefit your career. You’ll just have to be on your A game with every project, because some muthafuckas will be overly critical, but still.”
I nodded. “I hear you.”
“Right. So, I guess it’s official, huh? You my gal.”
Giggling, my heart skipped a beat. “And what does that mean?”
“It means that we go together. No more staring at the ceiling some nights, wondering what the fuck you doing. Cause your ass is gonna be right there with me. But…I aint staying at your house no more.”
I frowned. “And why not?”
“Cause. You had that nigga staying there. It’s tainted.”
I narrowed my gaze. “Just like you had Ora there at yours, right?”
“She didn’t stay with me, Summer. Nobody did.”
“You still fucked her in it,” I argued.
“Okay. Then we won’t stay in neither house.
We can rent them out, or sell them. Shit, or you can turn your house back into your book headquarters.
It really don’t matter. We got the resources, so shit like this aint about to be a issue.
We gon get a new house. I’ll pay for it. As long as we together.”
I frowned. “You’ll pay for it? But I have my own money. I can contribute—”
“Summer, why do you do this shit? We know that you got your own money. It’s just no good with me. Accept that, cause it’s a battle that you’ll never win with me. Just consider yourself a very rich bitch, who can sit on every penny she makes. Save. For our kids’ kids.”
“Our kids, huh?” I gulped, as he quickly brought me back to reality. I was pregnant again, and scared out of my mind. “Ricky, what if something happens again? What if…what if I lose this one too?”
He shook his head. “That aint happening. I know that shit in my heart. Besides, the first time was just a freak accident. You fell. And if I gotta carry you everywhere we go, then I will. Cause you having this baby.”
I giggled. “Carry me? Boy, you can barely lift me when we’re fucking.”
“See?” He cut his eyes at me. “There you go with that lying shit again. Like I didn’t just have your ass up on my shoulders, yesterday.”
“Right. I almost forgot.” My clit thumped at the mere memory.
I guess that’s why I’d been so nervous when Harlem accompanied me to my mama’s.
Ricky was losing his patience with me, when it came to breaking up with Harlem.
And to pacify him, I had to give him a dose of Ms. Kitty daily.
With no exceptions. So, the minute that Harlem crossed our parents’ threshold, I knew that our ending that day was inevitable.
“Yeah, we gone be straight, Summer. You, me, and the baby.” He reached over and palmed my stomach. “Just as long as you don’t play with me. With Harlem. Or any nigga from the past.”
“Right,” I sighed. “And same goes for you. But…we do need to stay rooted in reality. This all just happened, and Harlem literally walked out the door with nothing. So, he still has to move out—”
“That don’t mean that you gotta deal with him. A third-party can handle that. Like his assistant. Physically, you don’t need to be nowhere near that nigga, because you don’t know what’s going through his mind and we aint taking no chances.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“No. Aint no guess about it. And tomorrow you need to change everything he had access to. The locks. The codes. Even on the garage door.”
“Okay,” I agreed. “Even though I doubt it’s that serious…”
Ricky stared at me.
“What?” I arched a brow.
“You clearly don’t read men as well as you think you do. Harlem definitely aint no gangsta. But he’s still a man, with hurt feelings. And sometimes, they are the most dangerous kind.”