24. That Time I Rode More Than Just Horses
That Time I Rode More Than Just Horses
Quinn
“ T his seat wobbles more than Tater Tot when he sees treats,” I joked, trying to mask my nervousness as Enzo slid in beside me and the attendant lowered the safety bar.
I’d just gone on the damned thing with Reid, but that didn’t stop the fear from crawling up my spine.
Logic told me it was perfectly safe because thousands rode it every day without incident, but my imagination kept conjuring images of bolts suddenly giving way or the safety bar deciding this was the moment to malfunction.
“Ranger practically vibrates when I give him a peppermint.” Enzo’s hand landed on my thigh, squeezing it gently. “If it helps, Kellan is scared of heights and chickened out.”
My eyes shot to the man in question who gave me a tight smile and a wave. “But this was his idea!”
The wheel jerked into motion, lifting us a few feet before stopping to load the next car. I put my hand over Enzo’s and he promptly flipped his and entwined our fingers.
“I think Kellan had hoped his desire to ride it with you would outweigh his fear. Make sure you give him shit about it.” Enzo’s lips curved into the kind of smile that transformed his entire face.
The wheel jolted upward again. With each stop and start, we climbed further away from the chaos of the fairground until the noise below became a distant hum.
“It’s so peaceful up here,” I whispered, as if speaking too loudly might break the spell. The lights of the fairground sprawled beneath us like fallen stars, and the evening breeze carried the faint scent of fried food and cotton candy.
Enzo shifted slightly beside me, reaching into his pocket. “I have something for you.”
He pulled out a small paper bag, neatly folded at the top.
His fingers trembled the tiniest amount as he placed it in my hand.
It was a vulnerability I wouldn’t have noticed if we weren’t sitting so close in our own little bubble.
The paper was warm from being tucked against him, and I cradled it between my palms like something precious before I’d even seen what was inside.
“I’m not usually good at this kind of thing.” Enzo’s voice was softer than I’d ever heard it, almost lost beneath the distant carnival music and noise floating up from below.
I carefully unfolded the top of the bag and tipped the contents into my hand. The delicate silver bracelet with a tiny horse charm I’d been looking at in the exhibition hall slid out, catching the colored lights from the ride.
My breath caught in my throat as I ran my finger over the perfect miniature horse. The fact that he’d seen me admiring it and bought it on the spot put me at a loss for words.
He took the bracelet from my palm and fastened it around my wrist, his fingers tickling my skin. I tried not to shiver at the contact. “I thought you might want something to remember tonight by.”
“What, you think I’d forget my first Ferris wheel ride with three cowboys?” I forced lightness into my voice, falling back on humor to mask the sudden ache in my chest. “Pretty sure that’s going in my autobiography. Chapter Seven: ‘That Time I Rode More Than Just Horses.’“
Enzo’s eyebrows shot up, and a laugh escaped him. “That’s a terrible title.”
“I know, I know. My publisher will hate it.” I twisted my wrist, watching the horse charm catch the light. “Thank you. I love it.”
With the ride fully loaded, we began our repeated circle of suspension between earth and sky. The car rocked gently, and the fair was a kaleidoscope of color and movement.
“You seem nervous tonight.” Enzo spoke carefully, like he wasn’t sure how much to push. “You ready to talk about it?”
I fiddled with my bracelet. “I’m fine.”
“Hmm... the universal tell that a woman is not in fact fine and you’re using your teacher voice.”
I met his gaze, startled. “My what?” Heat crawled up my neck. Was I that transparent? Or worse, had he been paying such close attention to me that he’d catalogued my different tones like they were something worth studying?
“Your teacher voice. The one you use when a kid asks if you’re mad, and you say ‘I’m not mad, just disappointed.’“ Enzo’s eyes held mine. “So I guess the question should be what is disappointing you?”
The Ferris wheel began its descent, but it felt like my stomach remained at the top, suspended somewhere between the truth and what I was willing to admit. I turned to look out at the fairground, buying myself time while my thoughts scrambled like the colored lights below us.
What was disappointing me? Oh, just the small matter of falling for someone when I’d promised myself I wouldn’t. Just the terrifying realization that a silver bracelet with a horse charm meant more to me than a diamond engagement ring ever had.
“I’ve never done this before.” The words tumbled out before I could bite them back.
“A Ferris wheel?” Enzo’s confusion was evident in his voice.
“No. This. Whatever this is with you three. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be feeling.”
The car swayed as we continued downward, and Enzo’s arm came around me. “I don’t think there’s a rulebook for this, Quinn.”
“There should be.” I twisted my hands in my lap. “I like knowing what comes next. And everything about this is uncharted territory.”
Enzo was quiet for a moment, his fingers tracing circles on my arm. “Does it scare you?”
“Yes.” I met his eyes honestly, holding his gaze despite a flutter of anxiety. The lights of the fair painted shadows across his face, highlighting the angles of his cheekbones in ways that made it hard to look away. “And also no. It’s terrifying and exhilarating all at once.”
The Ferris wheel began its final rotation, bringing us back toward solid ground. Enzo’s arm remained around me, and I leaned into him for comfort.
“We’re all figuring this out as we go.” His breath tickled my ear. “Me, Reid, Kellan... none of us expected you, or this. But I’m not afraid of something unfamiliar if it feels right.”
Our car swayed as it reached the loading platform. The attendant raised the safety bar, and Enzo stepped out first, offering me his hand. I took it, feeling a strange sense of stability as my feet touched the ground again.
Kellan bounded toward us with Reid following behind. “How was it? Did our girl scream?”
I nudged him with my shoulder. “At least I got on it, unlike some people.”
Kellan clutched his chest dramatically. “Low blow, Porter. Low blow.”
The four of us moved through the rides, going on a few more. As we walked, Enzo’s hand brushed against mine periodically, while Reid’s remained steady on my back. Kellan walked slightly ahead, pointing out games and attractions with the enthusiasm of a kid.
“I need a candied apple before we leave.” Kellan gestured toward a food stand with a line about ten people deep. “And another one of those turkey legs.”
My own stomach growled in response to Kellan mentioning food.
What was it about the fair that made everyone so hungry?
Did they pump hunger-stimulating chemicals into the air along with the cotton candy smell, or was it some Pavlovian response to the cacophony of sizzling food stands and colorfully painted vendors?
“I could go for some nachos and one of those frozen lemonade drinks.” I eyed the stand where a man was scooping electric orange cheese sauce over a mountain of chips.
Not long after we got in line, someone tapped my shoulder. I turned to find a woman about my age, and her eyes widened when I faced her fully.
“Oh my god, it is you! You’re the hobby horse lady!”
My smile froze on my face. “Um, yeah, that’s me.”
“Can I get a picture? My friends are never going to believe this!” She didn’t wait for my answer, already stepping beside me and holding her phone up at a selfie angle.
She snapped several pictures before I could even wrap my head around what was happening.
My mind raced to catch up with the reality that I was being recognized in public.
This wasn’t exactly the claim to fame I’d imagined for myself when I was younger, dreaming of becoming an astronaut or the first female president.
“Thanks! This is so cool. My sister and I literally watch your videos, like, every day.” She glanced down at her phone, scrolling through the photos she’d taken. “Perfect! Catch you later!”
And just like that, she was gone, disappearing into the crowd while tapping away on her phone. I stood there, my smile still plastered on my face but something cold and hollow expanded in my chest.
Hobby horse lady. That’s who I was to the world now. Not Quinn, the elementary school teacher who spent hours creating lesson plans and worrying about her students. Just the woman who’d done something ridiculous and gone viral for it. Who still was going viral for it with my own free will.
“Quinn?” Reid’s voice floated through the fog settling around me. “You okay?”
I blinked back to reality, his face gradually coming into focus. The three men formed a protective semi-circle around me.
“I’m fine.” I waved a hand dismissively, as if I could physically bat away my conflicted feelings. “It surprised me, that’s all.”
“I’ve seen a few other people recognize you too.” Kellan stepped closer, his usual joking demeanor temporarily replaced with something softer. He tilted his head, studying me like I was one of the horses showing signs of distress.
Reid’s eyes narrowed slightly, like he could see straight through my flimsy pretense. “How are we feeling about this?”
“It’s nothing, really. It’s just weird to be recognized by strangers.” I folded my arms, suddenly feeling exposed in the middle of the fairgrounds.
“We can head back if you want.” Enzo’s offer was gentle, his eyebrows drawn together in concern.
“No! No.” I shook my head firmly. “We’re having fun. And Kellan needs his apple and giant leg of meat.”
I looped my arm through Kellan’s, moving us up in the line, desperate to move away from the moment and the strange emptiness that had settled over me.