Chapter 16 – Frozen Ou
Checked and Benche d
Christmas Day
Amelia
I lean against the bedroom door after shutting it. I really want to come clean with Bash, but now isn't the time. I should've taken a moment to talk it out with him last night when I told him about my dad. But I didn't want to spoil the mood by mentioning Jaxson.
Avoidance is my middle name these days. I push away thoughts of my husband and the state of our marriage because facing the truth is too painful.
My phone pings on the nightstand, signaling a new message. I walk over and pick it up. It's Nita .
Nita: Whatever you do, don't check any news right now.
Me: Wait… what? Why?
Nita: Just… don't. Okay? I want you to have a fun Christmas with Bash, free from stress and social media. Maybe try a device-free day.
Me: Now you've got me worried. What's going on?
Nita: I promise I'm not trying to be dramatic. I don't want to ruin your Christmas or upset you.
Me: Please just tell me. I'll be a wreck if you don't.
Nita: Okay, fine. But remember, I only wanted to shield you for a bit. Don't say I didn't warn you.
She forwards a link that I immediately click on and regret it.
Should've listened to Nita .
A news article flashes across the screen reporting Jaxson's sexcapade on a hotel balcony this morning with two women. The headline reads: Shocking Video: NHL Star Kingston's Hotel Trysts Ignite Outrage and Rumors of Marriage in Trouble.
Below the headline, a blurred thumbnail shows a balcony with three shadowed figures, clearly censored.
A bold warning covers it: Explicit Content.
Click to Confirm You Are 18+. Pop-up banners scroll along the edges of the page, daring the viewer to see more.
Exclusive Footage! and Watch the Full Video Now!
Even in its blurred, pixelated state, the image makes my stomach drop. Hovering over the screen, my hand shakes as I click play. I'm instantly reacquainted with my old friend, regret, who wastes no time reminding me I should've known better.
There's a partial photo of my husband in nothing but a bathrobe, and the two girls clinging to him are clearly nude.
I lie back on the bed, devastated. Watching the mostly blurred-out video and reading the attached article, humiliation swallows me, leaving me hollow and raw.
I understood what Jaxson meant when he insisted on this ridiculous idea for our marriage, and now, with it in my face and exposed to the world for gossip, it's exactly how I pictured it. The reality is unbearable.
Like a toddler covering my eyes, I naively believed that if I couldn't see it, it wouldn't touch me. I was wrong about that… but I was right not to want this. Jaxson's little experiment was never going to work, and I knew it. Now I can't unsee what he did, and there's no undoing it.
From the moment he abandoned our marriage for others, we were over. There's no way back. Our relati onship is destroyed, and I'm emotionally wrung out.
I leap from the bed and make it to the bathroom just in time to wretch.
Since there's nothing in my stomach, it's just dry heaves.
I slide to the floor, face down, forehead pressed against the cool tile.
I hiccup softly as I cover my mouth, my thoughts drift through the life I thought I was building with Jaxson, one that had already begun to crumble.
Memories play on a loop. The first time we met was at a hockey game, ironically.
The sport had always been in his blood, and he was incredibly talented.
And cute. Definitely that. Skating across the ice, a head taller than everyone else.
I'd seen him before, since we'd been in school together for years.
But that day, he zeroed in on me, skated up to the sidelines where I sat with my friends, and asked my name. The rest is history.
Movies. Holding hands. Skating. Ice cream. Laughing until our cheeks hurt. Whispered I love yous. Happiness. Marriage… through thick and thin.
I can't imagine it getting any darker than it is right now.
I sit up and glance at the phone still in my hand, the headlines continuing to scroll. I squeeze my eyes shut against the pain .
Every sweet, tender memory is tainted now, poisoned by what he's done. Whatever we were is gone. I have nothing left to give.
He deserted me at Christmas, our favorite time of year. While the world gathered around family and warmth, he chose to spend it with other women. Two of them, in fact. I'm not ignorant. The meaning is painfully clear.
Jaxson is aware that my relationship with my dad is strained at best. He knows how I despise the way my dad treated women as disposable, even my grandmother and me. Yet instead of considering my feelings, he assumed I'd spend an awkward holiday with my dad and stepmom.
If he actually cared or even thought about me, he never would've done this.
He let others into what was ours. What he's doing is nothing more than a pathetic, self-gratifying indulgence.
The possibility of intimacy between us is gone because it makes me recoil to think he willingly shared himself with strangers despite our marriage.
Everything we were, everything I believed in, is ruined.
What happens when hockey season ends and he comes home? Will I be happy to see him, or will all the anger and hurt harden into a wall between us? Will he expect things to go back to the way they were before? Will I even be able to look at him the same way?
I try to imagine the future, but it offers no comfort. Only dread.
It's as if I'm standing at the base of a mountain I have no strength to climb. Just thinking about facing Jaxson after what he's done seems insurmountable.
How do I survive months of separation, betrayal, and humiliation, only for him to return and expect everything to be okay? Was this his way out all along? Or just the beginning of the end?
I blink and wait for the tears, but none come at first. I press my hand to my chest and feel the ache I've carried for so long finally loosen its grip. A weight I didn't realize I'd been carrying lifts, leaving a hollow stillness behind. For a moment, I think I might be free of it.
But the relief doesn't last.
Then the tears come slowly, quietly, tracing warm paths down my cheeks. Not heartbreak, but grief. A deep, aching sorrow for the loss of what we once were and will never be again. I know he still cares in his own lost way. But it's far too late for us now.
The damage is done.
Drying my eyes and firming my resolve, I take my suitcase out of the closet. I know what I must do now. I need t o go home and gather my things. It's time to leave, focus on myself, tend to my wounds, and recover. Once my bag is ready, I place it and my purse behind the door.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I text Nita. She's having Christmas dinner with her family, but I know I can count on her for a lift. I'm not sure if ride services come out this far.
Me: Hey, Nita. Wish I'd listened to you.
Nita: Sorry, babes.
Me: Don't be. I needed the wake-up call. As much as it hurts, it finally pushed me to deal with it.
Me: Can you come pick me up? I need some space to think and start packing. I'm done.
Nita: It's about time. You know I've got you, Bestie. All my brothers are here for Christmas, the rest of the week. We'll get you packed and moved fast.
Send me your location.
Me: Sent. Thanks.
Nita: Got it. I'll be there in under 30 minutes.
There's no need to drag Bash into my personal issues just yet. I'll sit him down and explain once I've moved out and am in my own place.
In the meantime, if I know Jaxson as well as I think I do, this headline will send him into a panic, desperate to talk to me.
His chance to do that was during the five months he chose to ignore my existence.
Now, my abs ence, paired with my actions, will speak for itself, telling him everything he deserves to hear. I. Am. Done. Stupid man.
Tucking my cell into my pocket, I begin straightening the room, stripping the bed, and wiping down the bathroom counter. After I drop the used linens into the laundry basket, I turn toward the window to watch the snow fall while I wait for Nita. The quiet is almost soothing to my jagged nerves.
Then the bedroom door slams open, crashing into my suitcase and knocking it over. Bash storms inside, eyes blazing, jaw tight.
“Why didn't you tell me, Amelia?” he hisses, his tone simmering with quiet fury.
I freeze, stumbling back against the window seat, shocked by the venom in his voice. “What are you talking about?”
“Don't,” he snaps, jabbing a finger at me. “You think I'm stupid?”
“What's going on? Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Don't play dumb with me. You're married…" He sucks in a jagged breath. "…to him.” His voice drips with cold accusation. "Come clean. Why didn't you tell me? "
“I—I didn't think it mattered,” I stammer in confusion. I've never seen him like this before, and it rattles me. I expected him to be surprised, even starstruck, maybe ask for an autograph. Not this. Not like I've done something wrong. It leaves me speechless.
He paces in front of the door, raking both hands through his hair. “You don't think it mattered?"
"You knew I was married, Bash," I say, bewildered. "I didn't think who I was married to would be a problem."
"Well, it is, as you well know," he snaps. "Does the name Sebastian Duchesne jog your memory?”
Dizziness claws at me, my thoughts swirling. He makes no sense at all, talking about Jaxson's hockey rival. The man I've heard him curse more than a hundred times. How does Sebastian Duchesne even factor into this?
Bash's glare narrows. “Don't play innocent, Amelia. You and Kingston are setting me up. No need to spell it out. Your husband would love for the media to think I'm tangled up with his wife.”
“Set you up? What are you even saying?” My heart races, dread creeping in. I don't understand why he's so angry with me right now .