Chapter 4
THE C-WORD
STELLA
It’s like my brain short-circuited, coming face-to-face with Eli again. My knuckles appear white on the steering wheel. The old car rattles beneath us like it always does. Aiden chatters excitedly. And I’m oblivious, frozen somewhere between shock and disbelief.
Elliott Lewis?
Of all the hockey players in Denver. In Colorado. In the entire darn league. It had to be him giving out hockey gear today. Aiden buzzes in the backseat, bouncing despite the seatbelt.
“Grandma, did you see him?” he says, voice climbing an octave. “Mr. Eli showed me how to skate without falling. Well, I fell a little. But then I didn’t. And he said I’m a natural.”
“I saw,” my mother replies from the passenger seat. “You nearly took out three cones and another small child, but you stood again.”
“Mr. Eli said falling is okay as long as I get back up.” Aiden recites proudly.
My grip tightens at the exact words I remember Eli reciting to me once long ago. But look at my son—he’s so thrilled by the events at the arena. Is this a sign that he needs more male attention? If only Jerrod would step up and be the father he needs him to be.
“Mr. Eli caught me when I tipped over,” Aiden continues. “Like this.” He flings his arms wide, reenacting the moment with dramatic flair. “Didn’t even drop me.”
“Professional hockey players are pretty steady on their feet,” Mom muses. I bite back the words ‘And they have plenty of stamina.’ Then to me—slyly—she adds, “So. That was Eli Lewis.”
My stomach drops. She knows what’s up. She’s always been able to see right through me.
“Mom,” I hiss. “Shh.”
Aiden pauses. “Why are you shushing Grandma?”
“Because,” I say quickly, forcing my voice into calm-mom mode. “Some things are for grown-up ears.”
Mom’s lips twitch. “Interesting,” she says instead, staring out the windshield. “Very interesting.” I glare at her. She ignores me.
“Grandma!” Aiden beams. “Mr. Eli is the best player on the Aspens. He’s really nice, too.” Aiden goes on about him like Eli is his new favorite superhero.
“He seemed it,” Mom agrees. “You didn’t mention you knew him, Stella.”
“I didn’t think I would ever run into him again in this lifetime,” I mutter.
“Oh?” She finally turns her head, one eyebrow lifting. “I think there’s more to it than that. I saw the way he stared at you.”
I swallow and whisper. “I don’t want Aiden knowing about college.”
Aiden frowns. “What about college?”
“Nothing,” I say, instantly. “Just… boring adult stuff.”
Mom hums unconvinced, mouthing. “You dated him?”
I nearly drive us into a snowbank.
“Mom,” I warn through gritted teeth.
“What?” she whispers innocently. She tilts her head. “Oh, you absolutely did.”
I shoot her a look that could peel paint. “We are not doing this right now.”
“And Mr. Eli has a C on his jersey. Do you know what that means?”
“I do,” I say, nearly coughing. “C stands for Captain. I know a lot about hockey.”
Oh, boy, does that letter C bring back memories from the night I first met Eli…
Aiden gasps. “You do?”
I sigh. “Yes. I’ve observed a few games.”
Mom snorts. “Hockey players probably make good money,” she adds, because she’s enjoying this far too much.
“Mom!”
“What?” she repeats. “I’m observant, too.”
“Enough. We’ll talk about this later,” I warn, and turn up the music, giving up on trying to control the conversation.
Finally, I pull onto our street—if you can call it that; it’s more of an alley tucked behind the shops in downtown Boulder. I park in our space behind Mom’s craft store.
Aiden unbuckles. “Can I have a snack? All that skating made me hungry.”
“Yes,” I say automatically. Mom glances at me, surprised. I usually control his snack cravings before dinner, but desperate times… Neither of us moves to get out and follow him, watching him stomp up the stairs to the apartment above the shop and unlock the door.
“What, Mom, what is it? You’re staring at me so hard I can hear your eyes breathing.”
“I’m just shocked that there’s something I never knew about my daughter. I thought Jerrod was your first and only,” she starts.
“Maybe there’s a lot you don’t know about me,” I scoff.
A second later I sigh. “Look, Jerrod and I went through a rough patch at one point in college and broke up. That’s when I met Eli.
He was a senior, a hockey god on campus, and he and I met and…
there was just something between us. We dated for a while, and it was amazing, but he was about to graduate and heading for the hockey draft, and all these big things were in his future.
I was a sophomore. All I wanted to do was become a teacher, maybe live in a small town and marry and have kids.
And then when all the stuff happened with Dad…
I thought I’d hold Eli back, and I-I loved him too much to be a burden to him. ”
“So you let him go?” She shook her head, seeing right through me.
I shrugged like it was nothing, only it was the single most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do—letting go of someone I loved, and never thinking we’d cross paths again.
“Jerrod and I had remained friends, and after I broke things off with Eli, he was there for me, a shoulder to cry on. One thing led to another, and we got back together and… Well, you know the rest. Aiden arrived almost nine months later. Jerrod and I should never have married, blah, blah, blah.” I’m tired of my life story.
“Hm.” She squinted her eyes.
“What?”
“This could be your second chance with this Eli fellow. Like fate saying you got it wrong in the first place.”
“No. Stop. I’m a divorced single mother now. Eli probably dates supermodels and actresses. I’m sure tonight he’s having a good laugh about running into me while getting ready to take an heiress out on a date to a five-star restaurant on the top of a high-rise in Denver.”
“So you won’t see him again?”
I shake my head. “Doubtful.”
“That’s too bad.” She slips out of the car and shuts the door, and that ends all conversation about my past with Eli.
For a few blessed seconds, I’m left alone. If only I could stay here all night, get some homework done, and not have family distractions, but then Mom would feed Aiden junk food and get him to bed too late and he’d be a grump in the morning. That wouldn’t do any of us any good.
Later, while Aiden is in his room trying on his hockey gear for the third time, and Mom is running a paint and sip party in the shop for a group of her friends from church, I let my mind drift and wash the dishes.
I don’t spiral or cry, but I’m off-center and rattled. Seeing Eli wasn’t only about seeing an old boyfriend, but about watching a part of my life emerge that I haven’t allowed myself to visit in years.
The girl who went to college on scholarships and part-time jobs, the volunteer at the local animal shelter because animal lives mattered, and the daughter who believed life would eventually make sense if she worked hard enough.
Before life threw me some curves, I thought I had it all figured out. But then came that one night on the ice…
“Okay, Hattie,” I whispered, crouched beside a gorgeous German Shepherd on the edge of the ice at Fairfax University’s rink. “We’re here to charm donors and adopters for Adopt a Pup night. So you need to be your cutest, best self.”
She wagged her tail.
“Good girl.” I patted her head and fed her a couple of treats. My pocket was stuffed with the little bribes, just in case. I’d walked and played with Hattie several times in the past month as I volunteered at the shelter. When this event at the ice rink came up, I figured we could handle it.
While the shelter administrator managed a half dozen puppies and dogs in cages set up in the lobby, pushing for adoptions, I was to make a brief presentation to the team captain before the game with Hattie by my side.
Easy peasy, given how gentle Hattie usually was, but considering how wide and alert her eyes were, I grew worried.
I knew hockey games at Fairfax were very popular, more so than Jerrod’s football games, but the decibel level in the sold-out rink practically made the ground shake.
It got worse when the crowd roared as the Fairfax hockey team spilled onto the ice for warmups, skates carving sharp lines in the fresh ice, sticks clacking, music blasting the Tigers’ team anthem.
Hattie reared up and barked. “It’s okay, girl.” I knelt by her side, giving more treats, and covered her ears.
Finally, the arena staff rolled out the red carpet onto the ice, and put a microphone in place. The team lined up behind the ceremony area. The crowd quieted down as an arena official approached.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we will now have a presentation to the team by Stella, representing the local animal shelter. Your new team captain, Eli Lewis, will do the honors.” The crowd erupted again, and girls screamed his name. I tried to keep Hattie under control as we walked to the mic.
“Hey. How are you doing?” One Tiger skated up and winked at me, presumably the captain wearing a big C on the shoulder of his jersey.
What was it about hockey uniforms that made the guys appear so tall and broad?
He didn’t have his helmet on yet, and with the way his dark hair fell into his blue eyes, he was really cute.
According to my friends, I needed a rebound after Jerrod and I broke up. I could practically hear them screaming from their seats in the nosebleed section, “Get him, girl!”
There was no way this hockey god would be into me, though. His bright white smile and gorgeous eyes and the scent of cinnamon gum he was chewing dazzled me, but there was something else in the air, too. A funky smell.
Hattie sat on her haunches between us on the carpet.