Chapter 10 Sin Bin Secret
SIN BIN SECRET
ELI
I would have thought finally knowing the truth about our past breakup would set my mind at ease. Maybe on the surface it does, but the reality is sleep avoids me like a bitch, everything swarming through my mind.
Her father is in federal prison? I go cold thinking of how the timeline of the arrest mirrored our breakup. It’s hard to wrap my head around a secret so big she managed to keep it from me.
She never once brought him up. I never even met her parents the entire time we dated, which, over about four months while away at college, both of us far from home, wasn’t unheard of.
They didn’t factor into any of our discussions.
I guess I figured we’d eventually meet both sets of parents as our relationship progressed.
I only knew that we both came from families of similar low-income backgrounds.
While she shrank deeper into the crater her family scandal caused back in Chicago, I was so self-centered I didn’t notice how much she needed to lean on me. She was either an excellent actress and liar, or I was the biggest asshole on earth.
She turned to Jerrod instead? Letting him into her inner world and talking her into leaving me? It explains so much, and fucking hurts. Can I even trust her now that I know the truth? Would she hide anything from me again?
Something about his involvement in our breakup eats away at me, though.
He was always jealous of me, and must have been so pleased to see me cast away by her.
He didn’t waste any time getting back together with her, making sure I saw them on campus.
And years later I see her again, hearing she ended up pregnant by him?
The bastard probably planned it out like a revenge plot against me.
Fucking asshole—and then he goes and cheats on her.
My blood boils; he’s lucky I don’t find his ass and make him my personal body bag.
Okay, maybe I’m reading too much into this.
The guy was just being a friend to her, and they simply picked up the pieces where they left off before I ever came into the picture.
But no. I prefer to think of him as a conniving bastard.
Of course, I didn’t let on to any of these thoughts as I left Stella after the coffee shop a few nights ago. She needs to know she can open up to me anytime; it would have done no good to get even more upset about any of this in front of her.
I blow out air and get out of bed, the entire complicated mess driving me crazy.
I change into my running shorts. A brisk jog this morning would do me good.
In typical Denver weather, the forecast calls for our first snow next week over Halloween weekend, so I’ll take advantage of these last fall days.
I don’t report to the team until later. We have a game tonight, and it’s a special one.
I gave free tickets as my gift to the entire Wishes Granted group of families, complete with a luxury travel bus transporting them all from Boulder to the arena.
I can’t wait to see Stella and Aiden rooting for me in the stands.
Before I hit the road, I call Renae to make sure all the important details for tonight are handled. No surprise, she picks up on the first ring.
“Just checking that you have everything ready for the game tonight,” I saunter to the kitchen to make my pre-workout shake.
“Tickets distributed. Gift bags delivered. All under control.”
“Good. Thanks,” I clip.
“But you sound different. What’s wrong?”
I blow out air. “Nothing. Fuck, everything.”
“Tell me. I can’t help you unless I know the facts, sir.”
“Well, I finally know the truth about Stella’s breakup with me. You won’t believe it.”
“Try me. Details, please.” Her sips of soda through a straw come through the line.
I tell her everything. Her ex-military police background comes in handy, especially helping me sort out Stella’s father’s situation, and what that must have been like for a young woman to deal with back in college. We work through it for several minutes until Renae has the full picture.
“So that’s it. Bottom line—she didn’t let me in, but relied on Jerrod to see her through it. I feel like shit about it all.” I gulp down my drink and sit on the floor to work through some stretches. Somehow, it feels good getting all of this off my chest; I should pay Renae more than a therapist.
“Do you still want to give things another chance with her? Everything she told you would be enough to devastate any guy,” she clarifies.
“I can’t walk away. Fuck, that must make me sound pathetic.”
“No. Clearly you care about her.”
“Over the years, I’ve teased fellow teammates for falling into relationships too fast. Here I am…
ready to jump in head first.” I shake my head.
Stella held this power over me since the moment she walked onto the ice at the Tigers’ arena, and the moment she walked again into the Denver arena.
I don’t think she understands the depth of what I feel.
“Follow your gut, sir. I’ve found it serves me well. But…” Renae hesitates. “You know Jerrod’s always going to be in the picture. He’s that boy’s father; he has rights.”
“I don’t like it, but I’ll have to come to terms with it.”
“Okay, then what do you need me to do next?”
I think for a minute, my mind racing around. “Christmas and Aiden’s birthday are coming up. And get this, Stella asked to hold his birthday party at the rink. She said Jerrod might not attend. Of course, I said yes, so…”
“Let me guess. Do you want to plan the best birthday party ever? Something better than his father might have given him?”
“Hell yeah. I like the sound of that.”
“Budget?”
I snort. “Come on, Renae. You know the word budget isn’t really in my vocabulary, not when it comes to making a child happy. Especially Aiden.”
“I’m on it. I’ll put together a few options and get back to you tomorrow.”
She clicks off, leaving me settled, more steady in the past's aftermath. This can work. It has to. I’ll try my best to shove all thoughts about Jerrod aside.
I can move forward and focus on Stella and Aiden now.
She’s the woman I want, and I won’t let her go so easily this time.
I need to stick this second chance with her.
At this point, I still have to power through a run and even get in a nap before reporting to the arena later. But a group text comes in right as I reach the door.
Cam: Becca wants to know if you’re coming to Ethan’s annual cosplay event? We’ll be there.
I slap my hand to my forehead. I’d forgotten about the fundraiser Ethan and his wife Journey put on each year around Halloween, raising money for children’s literacy state to state.
Journey is really into it, and it’s a big deal.
Stella would love it, studying to be a teacher after all, and this year the event happens to be right here in Denver.
Kris: The theme is superheroes. Bailey’s making our costumes. Very hush about it. Won’t show me. I fear what she’ll make me wear.
Eli: That’s crafty. Sending you a link to the craft store Stella works at in Boulder. Be sure Bailey gets as many supplies there as she can.
Cam: Bringing Stella as your date?
Eli: Dude, I just got her to agree to coffee with me a few days ago.
Kris: Going well with her?
Eli: Progressing slowly.
Cam: Come on. Ask her. Otherwise, Becca has someone lined up for you to meet.
Eli: A blind date? Not a fucking chance. Becca’s matchmaking record is shit.
She was the one who had introduced me to Bunny in the first place—now my ex-wife. I doubt anyone should rely on Becca to fix them up.
It’s not a bad idea to ask Stella if she’d go with me though. But we just had coffee, so how do I get her from that to a night out in the city dressed up as a superhero? My second chance needs some accelerant.
Sean, Tyler, and Mason head up the behind-the-scenes tour at the arena with the Boulder group.
The kids are with them, wearing their oversized Aspens jerseys, and excitedly taking it all in.
Their parents stroll along. Stella and I bring up the rear, our hands and arms brushing now and then.
Every spark I want to grab her and kiss her lips until they’re swollen and greedy for more.
“That was our locker room,” Mason calls out and rounds them all up. “Now, who wants to sit in the sin bin?”
“What’s a sin bin?” cute little Tessa calls out.
“It’s the time-out place for hockey players, but it’s way cooler,” Aiden supplies the answer.
“That’s right. So who wants to sit in it?” Mason repeats the question.
A chorus of hands shoot up, and little voices chime, “Me! Me!” They set off for the next stage of the tour.
Seeing Stella here brings back all those college hockey games where she was my biggest fan.
Her eyes flick up and catch mine with a glimmer in them, and I imagine the same memories are playing for her there.
In fact, we pass a supply closet, and I tilt my head toward it, wiggling my eyebrows.
She laughs under her breath, the smile reaching her eyes.
Everyone is far enough ahead, and I doubt they’ll miss us for a few minutes. I make a snap decision and pull her into the closet with me, locking the door behind us.
The space is tight, with a utility sink and shelves stacked with clean towels and extra gear. The faint hum of the arena vibrates through the walls.
“Wow,” she whispers, looking around, amused and breathless. “Just like old times.”
“So you remember the good parts, too, and not just the breakup?”
She faces me, her red ponytail whipping around. I want to gather those locks in my hand… “I never forgot a second of us, Eli. I just thought letting you go was the right thing to do.”
No, her ex convinced her of that. I’m certain she would have eventually told me everything and kept me around if not for his interference.
I step closer, yearning to touch her, the heat multiplying between us in this small space. I search her face. “You were so wrong. The life I wanted was with you.”