Chapter 14
It’s been three days. Three days since Luke completely ruined all other men for me. Three days of the most incredible sex of my life and I don’t think I’ll ever be the same.
Not to mention, we just won our third game in a row at the fucking Olympics.
My teammates are full of excitement, everyone hooting and hollering in the locker room as we finish getting ready to leave the arena.
One of the younger girls on the team, Carly, bounces next to me in her stall. “I’m so fucking hype, we need to go out and celebrate!”
I can’t blame her. She’s eighteen years old at the Olympics. Everything should be celebrated. But still, I shake my head at her as I put my arm through the sleeve of my jacket.
“As fun as that sounds and as much as we deserve it, we have Canada tomorrow.”
Her face visibly deflates and I reach out to squeeze her shoulder. “There will be plenty of time for celebrating. But let’s kick Canada’s ass first, okay?”
Carly’s eyes light up and her excitement is palpable. “Yeah. Let’s kick their ass first!”
I laugh to myself as I grab the rest of my things to head out of the room.
We’ve had a day to rest in between games but for whatever reason, they scheduled back to back games to finish out the round robin play.
After that will be the quarterfinal games.
We need to beat Canada to finish as the highest seed.
There are no easy games at the Olympics, but if we finish in first, we’ll at least face off against the lowest seed on our way to the gold medal game.
The moment I step out into the hallway where families are waiting, two arms wrap around me from behind.
“Great game two-one.” Luke kisses the back of my neck and I melt into him before realizing everyone and anyone can see us.
Turning around quickly, I shove his shoulder, trying to put some distance between us. “Luke. People are watching.”
Luke steps forward, wrapping his arm around my lower back and pulling me to him again.
“Your point? Let them look. The thought of them watching kind of turns me on a little bit if I’m being honest.”
“Lucas Morgan!” This time I use two hands to push him away from me. “Voyeurism might be hot but I’m more concerned about some idiot snapping a picture of us and posting it online. The internet is a scary place. I don’t need us going viral and Connor finding out.”
The mention of my brother’s name sobers Luke right up.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. Speaking of Connor—” he looks around the crowded hallway before lowering his voice—" when he gets here tomorrow, how are we going to tell him?”
Tell him? I don’t think there’s a good way to tell my brother I’m fucking his best friend. Luke’s forehead is creased as he watches me, waiting for a response.
Treading carefully, I shrug. “I hadn’t really thought that far ahead honestly. Do we have to tell him?”
Luke’s look of concern is immediately replaced with a look that says “are you serious?”
I throw my hands out. “What! Is it so bad that I want to keep this between us for a little bit longer before it all blows up in our faces?”
Because that’s exactly what’s going to happen. I know I told Luke that Connor is a grown man and he will eventually be fine with it. But now that we’re actually doing this, my fear is growing by the minute.
I’m not scared that Connor will punch his best friend or anything like that. I’m more afraid of Connor hating me. Luke and him have a bond that I’ve been envious of my entire life. I don’t think he’d let anything come between them.
But us? We don’t have that same type of foolproof relationship.
He’s always supported me, as any big brother should, but we’re not extremely close by any means.
Our sibling relationship was founded on our love of hockey.
What’s going to happen when I invade other areas of his life and he finds out I’m sleeping with the one person he’s counted on?
What if he thinks I’m trying to take Luke away from him?
My thoughts continue to spiral when I hear Luke say my name.
“Huh?”
“I’ve said your name like three times now. Where did you go?” Luke looks at me, concern written all over his pretty face again.
I chew the inside of my cheek, contemplating if I want to disclose the anxiety I’m suddenly feeling about everything.
Luke was the one who was hesitant to cross that line. I’m the one who convinced him that getting together wouldn’t be a big deal. I can’t go back on that now.
Taking a calming breath, I quickly shake my head. “Sorry. Just worried about our game tomorrow.”
I’m such a fucking coward.
Luke’s eyes bounce between mine. I can tell he’s not convinced but he doesn’t call me out on it.
“You ready to head back to the hotel?” He tilts his head toward the exit.
I need to pull my shit together. It’s not fair of me to lie to him about how I’m feeling. To avoid lying and dealing with all of these emotions, I shake my head again.
“I’m actually going to grab a post-game meal with some of my teammates. See you in a bit?”
Luke doesn’t say anything at first. He simply stares at me. After the most uncomfortable fifteen seconds of my life, he finally nods.
“Yeah. See you in a bit.”
Without another word, he turns and walks away.
“Fuck.” I mutter under my breath.
“Why are you talking to yourself?” Liv’s voice startles me.
Putting a hand on my chest, I turn around to see my best friend eyeing me skeptically.
“Jesus, Liv. Where did you come from?”
She looks at me like I’m crazy. “Uhh…the locker room?” She throws a thumb over her shoulder pointing at the door that’s not even five feet away. “Why is your handsome curling captain leaving without you?”
I follow her eyes to see she’s watching Luke as he disappears out into the cold.
“Because I need you.”
Liv spins so she’s now standing in front of me, blocking my view from the exit I can’t seem to look away from.
“Are you okay? Did that beautiful bastard do something? I’ll kill him.”
I can’t help but laugh at her ability to go from zero to sixty in no time at all. I rest my hands on her shoulders.
“He didn’t do anything. But I’m kind of freaking out over the fact that my brother will be here tomorrow. I have no fucking idea how I’m going to tell him I slept with his best friend. He’s going to hate me, isn’t he?”
My words come out in a rush and I’m talking as fast as one of the Gilmore Girls.
Liv reaches out and cups my face with her hands.
“Breathe, Char.” She takes a breath in through her nose and out through her mouth. I mirror her breathing technique and after a few breaths, I feel myself calm down the slightest bit.
Liv reaches down and grabs my bag I must’ve dropped when I was losing my mind and slings it over her shoulder.
“Let’s go get some pasta and figure this out.”
It’s after eleven by the time I tiptoe into my hotel room after spilling my guts to Liv.
We sat together for nearly two hours going over the different scenarios of how Connor might react.
After hashing it out we came to one conclusion: He’ll either get over it or he won’t. But that’s not on me.
What I thought was just a physical attraction to Luke is much more than that. When Liv questioned if this was just sex, I surprised myself when I hesitated.
I may have convinced myself that’s all this was going to be but when Liv made me really dig deeper to see if my attraction was more, I realized it is. It’s so much fucking more.
Luke has always been kind. He’d come to my games in middle school and high school with Connor and I thought it was just because my brother dragged him there.
But now that we’re here in Sweden, I think he came to those games because he wanted to.
He has been to all three of my games, the last two without his teammates.
Throughout the game I’ll glance to where he’s sitting in the stands, always a few rows off the glass, and almost every time he’s looking at me, not the players on the ice.
The way he holds me every night as I fall into a peaceful sleep, to the way he has breakfast waiting for me in bed every morning…I’m beginning to realize that this might be more than just sex.
For both of us.
I’ve never wanted to spend more than just a night with a guy. There’s been no connection outside of sex. Sue me, but relationships have never been appealing to me. I have hockey. I have Liv. I thought that’s all I needed for now.
Except as I finish getting ready for bed in the bathroom, it occurs to me that I’m already dreading leaving Sweden.
Leaving Luke.
I want to trace circles on his stomach after he gives me two orgasms every night. I want to run my fingers through his hair first thing in the morning as I kiss him, despite having morning breath.
The realization hits me like a freight train.
For the first time in my life, I want more.