Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
T he heat of the sun on her face woke Grace from a fitful doze. She felt for her hat, which was thankfully still in place on her head, along with her sunglasses. She’d gone out onto the balcony for a five-minute sit-down after a long morning teaching the little ones. They were cute, but exhausting. She didn’t usually get given the five- to seven-year-olds, but Anna was off sick with a stomach bug, so it had been Grace’s turn to get stuck in. Singing nursery rhymes and playing shops might be improving their English, but Grace thought she’d scream if she heard ‘Ring a Ring o’ Roses’ again anytime soon.
Sofia had finally left the previous morning, after a week of eating, drinking and shopping together. They’d had a lovely time, but a week was long enough when one person was working and the other one was on holiday.
They’d had lunch every day on the hotel terrace, and Grace had noticed the smouldering glances between her friend and the head waiter. His name was Adonis, and it was an apt description of the man. Tall, golden and definitely this side of forty.
On day three, a beaming Sofia had admitted that Adonis was her go-to entertainment after Grace had gone home for the night. At least it meant the evenings had ended early enough for Grace to get enough sleep to function at work.
A glance at her phone told her she’d been sleeping for an hour, and it was now mid-afternoon. There were only a few minutes left until her weekly call with Lottie in Australia. It was Lottie on Saturdays and Flo on Sundays.
It was strange to see her younger daughter sitting at the kitchen table in the cottage back in Oxfordshire. It was even stranger that she didn’t miss anything about it. Everything looked tiny and the view outside the window was nothing compared to the wide-open vistas all around her on the island.
Grace went back into the room and let her eyes adjust to the dark interior before she poured herself a glass of cold water from a bottle in the fridge and settled down at her desk in front of the computer.
The familiar ping told her that Lottie was online, and as soon as she clicked on the picture and saw her daughter’s beaming face and Brad standing proudly behind her, she had a pretty good idea what was coming.
‘Mum! You’ll never guess!’
Grace readied her face.
‘I’m pregnant! We’re having a baby. You’re going to be a grannie!’
Grace let out a squeal.
‘That’s wonderful, darling. And you, of course, Brad. I’m so excited.’
Lottie’s hands moved down to her stomach.
‘I’ve wanted to tell you for ages’—her daughter looked up at her boyfriend—‘but Brad insisted we wait until the three-month scan. As you know, his sister Suzie’s a nurse at the hospital here, and she explained that lots can go wrong in the early stages, and we didn’t want to get everyone’s hopes up.’
‘Very sensible.’
Lottie held up a picture.
‘But here it is. The magical three-month scan. We’ve made it this far.’
The bean-shaped blob on the screen caused Grace’s heart to hammer in her chest. In front of her was an image of the grandchild that Phil would never meet. The first new baby in their little family. How he would have loved to live long enough to hold a grandson or granddaughter in his arms.
But she mustn’t let her sadness show. This was Lottie’s day.
Grace clapped her hands and got as close to the screen as she could.
‘I couldn’t be happier for you both. How have you been feeling, love? Any sickness?’
Lottie smiled up at Brad.
‘Yeah, quite a bit at first, but it’s calmed down now.’
‘Good. I was sick as a dog for the first few months with both of you. And I had a weird craving for tuna and gherkin sandwiches at all times of the day and night.’
‘Yuk. For me, it’s burgers. Really greasy burgers, dripping with mayonnaise and mustard.’ Lottie grasped her boyfriend’s hand. ‘But Brad’s been so good. He’s happy to go to the drive-thru any time to satisfy my every whim.’
‘Yes, your father got so that he could whip up a tuna and gherkin sandwich in seconds. And you know what a terrible cook he was…’
Grace stopped speaking as her daughter’s face crumbled. Phil had become the elephant in the room. She hadn’t meant to mention him; it had just slipped out. She’d been thinking about her husband less since she’d arrived in Greece and there had been whole days when she hadn’t thought about him at all. But with something as monumental as this, their first grandchild, she couldn’t stop herself.
Her daughter’s imminent tears were about to set off her own. Grace fought to be the calm one. She couldn’t lose it. Her daughter needed her to be strong.
‘Oh, Mum, I can’t stop thinking about how thrilled Dad would have been.’
Grace blew her daughter a kiss to give herself a moment.
‘He would, darling, he would have been over the moon. But please don’t upset yourself, it’s not good for the baby.’
Protecting her daughters from all the things they’d lost with Phil’s death was second nature to her now, but sometimes she wondered, who was going to protect her? Those plans for the future had gone up in smoke for all of them, not just the girls. Most of the time she managed to keep a lid on it, but when it was staring her in the face, like today, it hurt.
A tear made its way down her daughter’s tanned cheek.
‘It’s bloody unfair that Dad will never know my child.’
Brad’s arms went round her daughter, and she laid her head against his chest while he stroked her hair. Grace experienced a pang of envy that she quickly dismissed. It should be her comforting her daughter. But she’d passed that baton on a long time ago.
‘Sweetheart, please don’t cry. Your father will know about the baby, somehow, somewhere, I really believe that.’
‘I’m glad you do, Mum, because I absolutely don’t believe in any of that stuff. Dad’s gone and he’s never coming back.’
Her daughter’s voice was muffled and the dark tearstain on Brad’s T-shirt was spreading rapidly as Lottie kept her head against his chest. A change of subject was needed urgently.
‘Have you told your sister, and Jilly, about the baby?’
Lottie turned back to the camera, and Brad passed her a tissue. Grace waited for the answer while her daughter blew her nose several times.
‘Not yet. It was you first. After Brad’s family of course. As Suzie pulled a few strings to be in charge of our maternity care, she’s known from the start.’
Lottie ruffled Brad’s hair.
‘And we didn’t think it was fair that she’d have to lie to her own parents about what was going on, so we told them too, a couple of weeks ago.’
‘No, of course.’
So, Grace wasn’t quite first, but she wouldn’t let it matter.
‘So, do you have a plan?’
A plan was always a plus for Grace.
‘As long as everything progresses as it’s supposed to…’
Both Lottie and Brad crossed their fingers at the camera and met for a kiss.
‘I’ll keep working at the dive centre for as long as I’m able. I can take over a lot more of the admin as I get bigger, and we’ll look for temporary staff to cover me on the diving side.’
Grace was glad her daughter wasn’t planning to throw herself around underwater while heavily pregnant.
‘That all sounds well thought out.’
‘And in just under eight weeks’ time, it’s the twenty-week scan. To give ourselves something to look forward to, and because there’s still so long to go, we’re going to have a gender reveal party!’
Her daughter had never been big on patience, but at least there was some animation in her voice.
‘It’s so exciting. You have a scan, they give you a piece of paper with the sex written on it in an envelope, and you give it to a close friend or relative without opening it, which will be Brad’s sister for us. They bake a cake or get a confetti cannon, something with the inside in the right colour, blue or pink, and then you invite friends and family to watch you cut it open or pull the string and you all find out together!’
‘Yes, I’ve seen them on Instagram.’
Privately, Grace thought the whole thing was a bit naff. What was wrong with waiting until the baby came out, and finding out then? What was the rush to know so early? She and Phil had been more than happy not to know beforehand.
‘And you’re sure you don’t want to wait until your baby is born?’
‘Mum, don’t be so old-fashioned! Everyone’s doing it. We can plan beforehand, buy the right clothes, decorate the nursery, and focus on imagining what our child will look like.’
‘Obviously it’s up to you, darling. If that’s what you both want.’
‘It is. And we’ll set up a link so you can watch too.’
‘Great.’
Grace tried to make her smile look genuine. It was weird constantly looking at yourself as you spoke. It was wonderful to be able to see her daughter in person, but it also meant she had to monitor her facial expressions pretty closely. It was a whole layer you didn’t need to worry about on the phone.
‘There’s something else as well…’
Lottie took a long look at her boyfriend, who nodded, and they both stared into the screen.
‘One thing we really, really, want is to have you out here, Mum, for the birth, and the weeks before and after the baby arrives. We’ve already paid for an open ticket for you. We’re hoping you can come for a month.’
Grace swallowed.
‘Oh, that’s too far too generous. You should be saving your money. Babies are expensive.’
‘Don’t be silly. You’re my family. You, Flo and Jilly. We’re hoping that they can get some time off to come over too, as hopefully it will coincide with their Christmas break. We’re a small but mighty team. I couldn’t do it without you all.’
‘Then it’s a lovely gesture, thank you.’
In truth, Grace wasn’t sure she’d want to spend a whole month out there, and she still had her pupils back in England to worry about, but the details could wait. The fact that they wanted her to be involved was paramount.
The ring of a doorbell in Australia paused their chat.
‘That’ll be Brad’s aunt and uncle, Di and Josh.’ Her daughter’s eyes were bright. ‘We’ve asked them over for a meal, and we’re going to put the scan picture on Di’s plate. They’ve got no idea. They don’t have kids, so they’ll be like honorary grandparents too.’
The list of people who would be intimately involved with this baby seemed to be growing by the minute. But it would be lovely for Lottie to have lots of people around.
‘I won’t keep you then. Congratulations and love to both of you, and we’ll speak next week.’
‘Yeah, love you lots.’
‘Love you too.’
As soon as the screen went blank, Grace crawled onto her bed and shut her eyes. The most important thing was that this child arrived safely. Her daughter was knocking on for thirty-eight, so it was time she got on with it. But would Grace ever get to know her grandchild properly if he or she was living on the other side of the world?
It wouldn’t be like bringing up the girls, seeing them change and grow, day by day. She’d be lucky if she saw this child a couple of times a year.
She was desperately sad to think that Phil would never get to know his grandchild, but was she going to fare much better? Obviously, these were horrible, selfish thoughts, not to be voiced out loud, but Grace couldn’t help but think about how different her vision of being a grandparent had been. She’d imagined her and Phil taking the kids for a weekend to give their parents a break, pushing them on the swings as they screamed to go higher, eating ice-creams together and putting blobs of it on each other’s noses, and finally snuggling on the sofa with them in matching pyjamas at the end of a busy day. But conjuring up pictures in her mind was pointless. She had to stop torturing herself.
The tears, when they came, racked her whole body, and Grace gave in to them in a way she hadn’t done since the terrible months following Phil’s death.