Chapter 7
Seven
JADE
Present
Darren walks into the room and drops down beside me on the leather couch.
Tension radiates from him as he rubs his hand over his face.
I roll my eyes as he spreads his legs out so wide his knee bangs into mine.
He probably doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, which irritates me further.
If I wasn’t wearing a dress, I’d spread mine until he moved his.
Instead, I pull my knees over and then ram them right back at him.
There will be no manspreading on my watch.
“Ow, what the fuck Jade?” He rubs his knee and scowls at me accusingly.
“What the fuck, me? What the fuck, you.” I gesture around the empty backstage room with multiple chairs. “You could have chosen anywhere to sit and instead you sat your ass right next to me and immediately took up every inch of available space.”
He only looks slightly chagrined. “I need to talk about Xander’s baby mama issues.”
I’d rather not. Just the thought alone makes me feel like vomiting.
I have no right to be so upset. He’s a grown man who has had plenty of partners.
I’ve had plenty of partners since that summer of so many mistakes.
No matter how many times I tell myself I’m over it, over him, though, it doesn’t seem to change the fact that I know the truth and he doesn’t.
I’m so angry with him I can’t breathe.
“Okay,” I draw out the word. “I don’t know what I can help you with right now, though. I just do social media and PR.”
That earns me his infamous disdainful side eye.
Seriously, there’s a Blue Sunday fan account that has entire carousels of him giving the same exact look.
Most of us think it’s hilarious. Him, not so much, which actually makes me love it even more.
Darren Brown deserves as much shit as he gives everyone else.
“I’m not even going to dignify that statement,” he sniffs.
“What’s the update?” I ask.
“No update. I just need to vent. We sent her everything she needs to collect the DNA, but she wants to wait until after the tour and have him there with her. She sent me a video and some pictures, and the kid has blonde hair and brown eyes. Maybe even the same nose as Xander. Fuck if I know.” He drums his fingers on the arm rest of the couch.
“Do you think the kid looks like him?”
“Babies all look the same to me.” He pulls his phone out. “Do you want to see her?”
I push his hand away. “No. I’d rather just pretend this nightmare isn’t staining the second half of the tour.”
“Me, too.” His knee bounces with agitation. “I’m going to go watch sound check. Do you need anything? Water? A snack?”
This is the dichotomy of Darren. Most of the time he’s a brash asshole, but then he surprises you with unexpected moments of care and tenderness.
“I’m good, thanks.”
He gives me a nod and disappears out of the room.
I should probably go with him and grab a couple candids of the guys while they rehearse, but after that conversation I don’t have it in me.
Instead, I go to the craft services table and grab a bag of peanut butter M&Ms. It’s my one vice, and the only thing I have on the rider for myself.
If this woman really wants to get this all figured out, why isn’t she just doing her end of the paternity kit? It would only take days rather than dragging it out for weeks until the tour ends. Maybe Xander is right and it’s not his baby.
I fucking hope so.
Not that it’s because I don’t think he’d be an amazing dad. I have absolutely no doubt he would be. Of all the guys he’s the most likely to have a family someday, or at least he was until Hazel came along for Stone. Though they’d have cute kids together if they decide they want to go that route.
As if summoned by my thoughts of her, she walks into the room. She’s wearing a Blue Sunday concert tee shirt with Tobias front and center. My lips tilt in a smirk because I know exactly what she’s doing.
“Cute shirt,” I tell her.
“Thanks.” She gives me a wicked smile. “I love the new designs.”
“I bet Stone will love seeing you with Tobias spread over your chest.”
Her grin widens in response.
One of the most viral moments of the first part of the tour was Stone noticing her enraptured by Tobias’s drum solo and dragging her onstage to kiss the absolute fuck out of her and stake his claim publicly. The man is obsessed with her, and the public is just as obsessed with their obsession.
I love it for both of them. If anyone in the world deserves a happily-ever-after, it’s those two. So much struggle between them, but they’ve battled through it all. Now they have each other, and their love casts a glow over everything it touches.
“What are you doing back here? Shouldn’t you be doing your magic behind a camera somewhere?” She pops the top on a Diet Coke and sits down beside me.
“I just needed a break.” I hold up the bag of candy in my hand. “A little sweet treat for dealing with these assholes all the time.”
“Oh no, what happened?”
“Just the usual stuff.”
I don’t know why I lie. We probably have a while before the guys finish where we’ll be alone and I could share what’s really bothering me.
Hazel has become just as important to me as any other friend.
I know I need to talk through why Xander’s possible baby is so triggering to me.
Opening up has never been a strength for me, though.
“Darren? I saw him disappear down the hall as I turned the corner.”
A perfect scapegoat.
“Yeah, we were talking schedules. It has my mind in overdrive.”
“Makes sense.”
“Are you ready for your signing tonight?”
Her eyes dull just the smallest bit. “I am.”
“But?” I ball up the candy wrapper and toss it in the trash bin by the couch.
“It’s hard receiving all the condolences.
A lot of people know I had to cancel some earlier dates, and they’ve been so sweet about it.
I just hate sharing my grief like that. When people tell me they’re so sorry, I immediately want to break down in tears.
Sierra has been helping, but she can’t make it to the next few signings. ”
“That’s understandable. Do you want me to go with you? Be your emotional support guard dog?” I know Stone would do it in heartbeat, too, but there’d be pandemonium if he posted up beside her.
Her eyes fill with tears. “Are you sure? I will absolutely take you up on it if you’re not busy.”
“Are you kidding me? Of course I will. I’m never too busy for you.” I reach for the box of tissues behind the couch and hand it over.
We’re so deep into our conversation we don’t hear the guys until they’re in the room.
Stone notices Hazel’s red-rimmed eyes and the balled up tissue in her hands first. But I also don’t miss the flare of jealousy when he sees what shirt she’s wearing.
He does a good job of stuffing it down as he sits down beside her and pulls her onto his lap.
Tobias grabs an energy drink from the fridge and plops down in one of the chairs beside me. “What’s up, Jadey baby?” he asks, popping the top.
Xander glances away from Darren while they converse quietly in the corner. I’m sure Darren is filling him in on the new developments with the woman in Atlanta.
“Not much. Hazel and I were just talking about her signing tonight.”
Tobias looks over at her, concern clear on his face as he watches Stone cradle her in his arms while she cries. “Is Sierra in town?”
I shake my head. “I’m going to go with her tonight.”
“Good. You’re the best in the business.” A gleam lights his eyes when he notices the shirt Hazel has on. “Love the shirt, Haze. You ready to dump his ass and finally give into our blossoming love?”
Stone honest to god growls and flips his middle finger at Tobias. “Fuck off.”
“I’m trying.” Tobias winks at Hazel, which shifts her from tears to laughter.
“Think that’s funny, huh?” Stone stands with her in his arms. “Guess I have some work to do tonight. We’re going to the hotel,” he calls over his shoulder.
“I’ll be at your room a little before six. We can grab dinner after the signing,” I call after them before turning my attention back to Tobias. “Don’t think I don’t know what you just did there.”
He points at his chest. “Me? What I did?”
“Yes.”
He might be the youngest, but, while he’s not had a stint in rehab or anything, he has seen the worst of humanity. Joining this band probably saved his life. Anytime someone is hurting, he’s the first to crack a joke or push buttons, just to give that angst a place to go. I love him for it.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I just pointed out that she was wearing my concert tee. We all know how much she loves my solos. I was just letting her know that I appreciate her appreciation.”
“I’m sure she’s going to love all the ways Stone reminds her that he loves her most.”
“As he should.” He pulls the elastic out of his hair, letting the platinum strands fall to his shoulders and finger combing it out.
A body plops down on the couch beside me.
I don’t need to look to know it’s Xander.
The warmth of his body is something I’ve never been able to shake the memory of.
And his scent, always a hint of cedar mixed with the sea.
Like he just walked out of the Pacific surf.
It brings so many memories back to the surface for me.
Thoughts of my conversation with Darren earlier filter back into my mind. Knowing that he possibly has a baby out in the world, it feels like a thousand needles piercing my heart. I can’t handle it.
I shoot to my feet. “I should probably get back to the hotel, too, now that I think about it. Make sure I’m ready for Hazel tonight.”
“Wait,” Xander wraps his hand around my wrist gently halting my progress from him. “I was hoping we could talk?”
“No time.” I try to pull my hand away. The brush of his thumb over the pulse in my wrist is almost too much to take. “I need to shower before I go.”
“I’ll go back with you.”
“No,” the refusal comes out sharper than I intended.
He flinches but doesn’t release me. Electric sparks flow through my veins at the skin-to-skin contact between us. I finally pull myself free.
“Why?”
“I have some calls to make. They require privacy.”
His shoulders droop. “Okay.”
I leave him behind, ignoring the pang of guilt in my chest. He doesn’t get to worm his way back into my heart after all this time. I’ve spent the past few years since I’ve been working with him holding him at a distance. I’m not about to let him worm his way back into my heart now.
When Darren came up with the idea of bringing Hazel on the tour with us, I was hesitant.
It meant that I’d have to travel with the band in a much closer capacity than I had before.
Sure, I’d gone on tour with them before, but I was always on the crew bus and could easily put space between myself and Xander.
But with Hazel, we knew she’d feel better if she wasn’t the only one locked on a damn tour bus with the guys.
Xander immediately took advantage of that decision. He slipped right back into our old dynamic without pause, chipping away at my walls with his dry humor and stupidly good looks. In fact, he might have been successful had the baby issue not come up.
I drop my head to the cool, leather seat back and release a long, shuddering breath as the driver pulls away from the curb. My phone vibrates in a rapid-fire sequence, which could only mean the group chat is going off.
Shan
I have news
Stephanie
Spill
Amber
Waiting
All present
Shan
Remember my neighbor?
Amber
The one who has a pet opossum?
Shan
No, she got evicted
As she should
Stephanie
As far as wild animals go, opossums are probably the best to have a pet. They don’t carry rabies
Shan
I was talking about the guy down the hall from me
The quiet one?
Shan
Yeah, except he’s not so quiet now. I was in the gym the other day and it was just the two of us
Amber
And???
Shan
He’s a groaner and grunter
Stephanie
I’d rather have the opossum back
Shan
Right? Who would have thought the quiet one would be making so much noise in the gym? It sounded like an exorcism
An exorcism of any interest
Shan
Right? Instantly evaporated
Amber
The worst
When are you coming back, Jade?
I’ll be back in LA in a couple days. The band is staying at home while they do all the LA and San Diego dates
Stephanie
Does that mean you’ll make it to brunch?
Shan
You have to bring Hazel
Amber
YES
I’ll try to make it
My favorite thing is dragging Hazel away from Stone
The car pulls up in front of the hotel, and I slide out of the backseat after thanking the driver and slipping him a tip.
The happy buzz from gossiping with the girls lingers as I make my way through the lobby and up to my room.
I don’t know what I’d do without the three of them.
They’ve picked me up in ways no one else ever has.
Especially Xander Jacobs.